Dose of photoshopped McPhee

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I was reminded tonight that Katharine McPhee has a new album out in Jan. You know how much I care? Nadda, zip, zilch. This girl is nothing but a scandal a-brewing. Trust me. I don't know what it will be, but, she will lose it in '07. I saw her on the Rod Stewart, A Home For The Holidays special (promoting adoption) and she farked up "Over The Rainbow" and 'bout made me blow chunks. Someone needs to tell her there is no need to warble and wiggle your voice on every freekin' last note. It's annoying and very Jessica Simpson-ish. It makes my ears bleed. Judy did it first, and Judy did it better. McPhee is McYucky.



Rod Stewart, on the other hand, was as sexy hot as ever, sounding great and having fun. Even the Cap'n Crunch jacket didn't phase me. He has this wierd stop and pose thing now at the end of each tune..I just ignored that, because I love him. I know he'd love me too and leave that Penny Lancaster if he ever met me. Shut up! He would! Sob!

Duff doll

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Hillary Doof and her giganto teef are now a Mattel doll. Nice. If you pull a string it sings "Like A Virgin, Wooo!" and then repeats "Nicole Richie is a skank" until you wack it with GI Joe.

Diddy don't do dogs, yo

The Humane Society has this update on the P. Diddy dog fur fashion line..The tests revealed it IS dog fur. P. Diddy has this to say..

"I was completely unaware of the nature of this material, but as soon as we were alerted, the garments were pulled off the Macy's floor and website," Combs said. "I have instructed our outerwear licensee to cease the production of any garments using this material immediately. I appreciate the tireless work that the Humane Society does and would like to thank them for bringing attention to this issue."

I have this to say..if Sean Puffy Pee Doodly what the fark Combs has no idea what's in his fashion line, I see no reason why I should ever look at it, much less buy any of it. Celebrities need to get thier heads out of thier ass's and stop putting thier names willy nilly all over anything to make a buck. It's called responsibility.

Puzzle this...

Take a good look at her and tell me what's missing. I heard she's in Hawaii this week with Stavros, desperatly trying to meet his parents again (good luck, bimbo), but, before that she was in Japan for some new Motorola doo-hicky. This pic was from that Motorola product pitch. But, something is wrong here. Do you see it too?



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Yep, a little more digging and I find this photo of her in Hawaii. She has a mongo buise on her thigh. Has anyone else noticed she's always bruised lately? She's as frequently bruised as Blohan is cut. It's wierd.

Buh bye losers

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The King Of Queens will end it's nine year run in May. The babyish UPS driver, Doug (Kevin James) , and his nasty little wife, Carrie, (Lea Remini) will be finding somewhere else to annoy me, no doubt. But, I will relish the 30 minutes of silence on CBS when they take off this little piece of garbage. Doug is not cute. He's one of those childish lazy men who never helps his wife, never listens to his wife, and lies to his wife. Constanly and about everything. When he's isn't lying, he's whining, crying, and acting like a slow four year old. Not sexy. Carrie, the stupid wife, has a heart of steel, lies to everyone, screws everyone over to get what she wants, and has a shrill voice that makes paint peel off my walls. If this is supposed to reflect the average American, then it has made us all look small, mean and stupid. Good riddance, and don't even get me started on that old hairy wart Jerry Stiller. And people wonder why I watch reality shows. Pffft.

The obsession continues

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These pics are are from last week. They weren't funny so I ignored them 'till now..heh. But, when she cleans up and isn't showing her poon or throwing up sushi and Quervo, she still has one of the most beautiful faces. Don't you think? Gowd, she's such a dumbass. And yeah, I like the tweedy coat, it's stylin' with that Baroque buckle, but, who the hell wears winter coats with open toed shoes and no stockings?? It makes her look..slow. Also, she's in Cali, there's ferns and Horsetail rush behind her (we call those weeds here) so how cold could it be? Hire a stylist! No, for real..hire a stylist!

Okay, I'm off to my real job now, because I can't convince anyone to pay me for this..yet. See ya at midnight. OH....hate, hate hate that gold snake necklace thing. Tired of those things.

Merry ParAss style

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Sources in British media are reporting that ParAss Hiltons music career is over. They say that since her album bombed (did no one see that coming??) that there will never be another one. Merry Christmas to all of us with fucntional hearing. I don't quite believe it yet, but, I was more interested in the photos from her Christmas party. I've seen the inside of her house before and it boggles my mind how you can spend so much to live so ugly. Silver lame' walls and white on white everything..but, who the hell puts a stripper pole in thier living room? For real..who does that?? And what is that chain hanging from the ceiling? (Not mentioning the dwarf. Uhh uhh.) I guess it's tradition in the Hilton house to entertain your parents with drunken pole dancing. I'm just sitting here going..wtf?

Someone turn on the light

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Vanessa! Hey! Wake up, wtf? Did she die and Nick missed her so much he hired a taxidermist to bring her back? It's like a Stepford wife picture. Eh, maybe she's just tired, I'll give her a break. No I won't. I had a porcelaine doll just like that once, the Chatty Cathy knocked it off the shelf and it's head broke into a million pieces. Seriously, she's an android, right? Someone flip the on switch. Do we need jumper cables?

Snow blubber

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Well, well, some quick pap got a photo of Mariah Carys REAL ass in Aspen. No, she's not a hippo like she was last year, but, that ass is a far cry from the photoshopped snow romp SHE released. I'm sending her a pizza, double cheese. Maybe by Valentines day she'll top 300 again, and make my day. Phoney bitch.

I see London,
I see France,
I see diva crack, cuz
those aren't pants!

More gift suggestions

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Snag toof, Kirsten Dunst, gives the best presents! Comprehensive Digestive Stool Analysis!!! Just what we all dream of. An analysis of starlett poop. And people think there's no Santa! Pffft.



Kate Hudson is hand picking a personal gift she made just for you! I love the holidays! Hey, it could be worse, Britney seems to be giving used sushi. Heh.

Two weeners and a doll

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Here's Weird Al's "interview" with Kevin Federline. This is too mean for me. Besides, who's Al think HE is? Anyhow, maybe you guys will like it..film here.




Here's another one I don't think is funny. I must be in the minority, because it's hot right now. You Tube has removed it, but, Egotastic still has it on. Justin Timberlakes "Dick In A Box."


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And for me, there's America Ferrera, not being Ugly Betty. What a cute normal girl! I love that show.

DollyCave

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Yeah, Jessica Simpson, the whimpering pudding pop, has pulled her song from the Kennedy Center Honors Dolly Parton tribute, because she didn't like her own performance. I could give a rats ass. But, LOOK AT THAT PICTURE OF DOLLY! Holy Joker on bad crack, what IS that? It's like some evil villain stretched her face with a wench and dug a hideout where her mouth used to be. And the eyes! Oh gawd, the eyes! I'm going to have arched brow and midnight mascara nightmares from hell-ohhh Dolly.

Blowin' chunks

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Oh, this is gross funny..Britney was drinking at Hollywood’s Les Deux, (that place where the manager made her get off the strip stage..twice) when she decided to stumble upstairs and puke her guts out. It was sushi and no one would clean it up. She was such a drunken mess her "handlers" then tried to sober her up and feed her pasta because they were afraid she's get alcohol poisoning. Bet that was a fun ride home. You know how I have pet names for all of them? Like The Blow and ParAss? I think I'll just call Britney.. Skankho. Simple, not clever, but, it fits. Besides, I can't type out Greasy-ragWig-crackshowin'-nasty-drunken-whitetrash-sushiBlowin-skeezehole every time I post about her.

Gift idea, glass cutters

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They say Poshie wear them. They also say Britney owns them. It is a FACT that the girls from Sex In The City all wore them. They are called Bodyperks and they have thier own website. 20 bucks and you get a pair in a velvet bag.





Maaaaan, that's friggin' creepy. Looks like a serial killers stocking stuffer. But, they don't go in your stocking..really. Heh.

ASS Simpson

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Ashlee Simpson proves she's little bitch. She cleaned out her closets and gave a bunch of stuff to her cleaning lady, Maria. Maria sent the stuff home to her family in Brazil. "It makes Ashlee feel so wonderful to be able to give something back," says a pal. "It's truly what Christmas is all about for her."

Bullshit, Ashlee. Maria is not some welfare bag lady, she is your employee who works hard at cleaning up your stink and is just as good as you. If you really want to be a decent person, give the woman a raise, a bonus, or a surprise round trip ticket to go see her family. Not some designer crap, that didn't even fit her, and you don't want because you need room for 2007 designer crap. Maybe for Marias birthday you'll give her your leftover Lean Cuisine pizza or a half a cup of Starbucks with your lipstick on it. Assssssssssss.

A VERY merry!

The dirtydisher has received alot of nice Holiday cards, and I appreciate each and every one, but this card from Debbie made my tranny lovin' day! Seems she understands my love of a certain dope! (It's a line from a song, virgins, don't get yer pannies in a knot.) Merry isn't it? Sigh and slobber, TY Deb. >Walks away happily singing "Don we now our gay apparel, fa la la la la!")

Britney totally sells out

Britney Spears has reportedly signed a deal with magazine Vanity Fair to tell all about her failed marriage to Kevin Federline. source

Hmmm. To be on the coveted cover of Vanity Fair, showing your much photoshopped ass, you know what has to happen. All stars are expected/required to reveal something terrible, painful, or scandalous. Like Terri Hatcher and her childhood molestation, or Hilary Swank narcing off Chad Lowe. So, what's Brit going to tell us? All I know for sure, is, Britneys a liar, a bad liar, but, a liar just the same..and Kevin isn't going to be pleased.

Someone take that damn gum away from her, she looks like the forgotten Marx brother "Bucktoof."

Happy Holidays Leslie

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Poor Leslie, first there was Britneys embarassing Lauer interview. Such a disaster! Then there's Lindsay Blohan. Leslie Sloan Zelnick has just had it up to here!! When Star magazine came to her about the drug/party/Blow stories, Leslie simply said "It's all bullshit." I think that actually translates to " I'm so sick of making up excuses for these worthless little party whores I could kill someone." Happy Holidays Leslie..have some eggnog and chill. New Year's will be alot worse.

News squidgets

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Angelina Jolie shops at an ordinary store. Cool. We like it when she smiles.
==================================================


From P. Diddys My Space..
"In honor of the 2 people to have incredibly impacted me and Kim’s lives……We’re proud to announce that we are NAMING the twins after our beloved grandmothers….
Kim’s grandmother’s name is Lila Star.My grandmother’s name was Jessie Smalls…
LADIES AND GENTLEMAN…
****PLEASE WELCOME TO THE WORLD****5 lbs….19 1/4 inchesD’Lila Star Combs
5 lbs/4 oz….19 1/2 inches Jessie James Combs "
====================================================

Also..just heard...
“Katie Rees has been relieved of her duties as Miss Nevada USA 2007. First Runner-up Helen Salas will assume the title and compete at the 2007 MISS USA Pageant on March 23 in Los Angeles.”
The decision came from the Miss Universe President, Paula M. Shugart. Boo Friggin' Hoo.
=====================================================

In her own defense, Katie the brain surgeon, claims she was only 17 when the offending pics were taken. Uhhh, that makes it even worse, Dumbellina.

Cristmas gift suggestion

How about a gift for the holidays that you KNOW not everyone has? For the right price you can have a whole evening with Vince Gallo. Here's a little info from the man himself..

"I, Vincent Gallo, star of such classics as Buffalo 66 and The Brown Bunny have decided to make myself available to all women. All women who can afford me, that is. For the modest fee of $50,000 plus expenses, I can fulfill the wish, dream, or fantasy of any naturally born female. The fee covers one evening with Vincent Gallo. For those who wish to enjoy my company for a weekend, the fee is increased to a mere $100,000. Heavy set, older, red heads and even black chicks can have me if they can pay the bill. No real female will be refused. However, I highly frown upon any male having even the slightest momentary thought or wish that they could ever become my client. No way Jose. However, female couples of the lesbian persuasion can enjoy a Vincent Gallo evening together for $100,000. $200,000 buys the lesbos a weekend. A weekend that will have them second-guessing."

You can also Buy Vince Gallo sperm, but, there ARE stipulations. Here's his blog..HERE. Happy Holidays, it's kind of a one stop shop. TY Vince Gallo, for making my season so much brighter.

Better bitch fight

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Hilary Duff is fighting mad at Nicole Richie. Seems Joel Madden dumped Hilary because she wouldn't give him any (after two years!) and took up with Nicole. Hilary Doofus says she can't believe Joel is dating Richie and called her a "skank" according to US weekly. I still say all these young chicks are desperate for a man, or they'd wait 'till they find one that doesn't look like used ass hair. Nicole is known for her outbursts, so I hope there's some hair pulling and girl smackin' coming. My moneys on Richie. She carries the biggest purse.

Britneys used to be a dice tat

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There's the star. She's got some other tats too, a back fairy and some other retarded girlie wank. Whatever. People tell me I blog about her too much. I just blog about what interests me. If you have favorite celebs, tell me, I'll keep an eye out for them. If you wanna see Kate Hudson picking her nose, I have that stuff. >shrugs<

STILL NO ONE HAS EXPLAINED TO ME WHY HER SHIRT IS OFF!

Fed's new digs

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Kevin Federline has rented this house in Tarzana Ca. for 7,000 a month. He has enough room for all his kids and an inside source has told ME that he's had custom built beds made for the kiddies in animal designs. The dude is playing it cool, while his wife parties like a crank ho. You are welcome to post anything you want about Federline, that's why this site is here, but, every since the first day I heard his name, he has been consisitently photographed spending time with his kids. Barbie Martini calls this place a dump. Who the fuck do they think they are??? Are they a bunch of rich Hilton/socialite types who think everyone needs a 50 million dollar mansion to live like a normal person? In my neighorhood, this is far from a dump. Good luck Kevin, someone needs to make a home for those kids of Brits. Shar's kids seem fine as they are, but, I'm glad they have a dad.

Barbie Martini used to be a fav site of mine. Now I find out I don't even know how many people write the stuff. They are advertising on there now for anyone who wants to write "FAKE" Barbie posts. That's how they put it..FAKE posts. I'd rather go to Crabbies or Perez's. Crabbie may get crabbie, and Mario is..well, Mario, but, they write thier own blog. Doh.

Barbie McStupid, you have my addy.

Happy 26th X-tina

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Christina Aguilera celebrated her birthday at Cocktails Restaurant with nary a sighting of her hubby, Jordan Bratman. Is there trouble in paradise, as rumors have implied? Or did X-tina stop looking in her retro mirror long enough to actually SEE that guy??? If she did she'll be hiking up her micro and skee-daddeling like Wile E. Coyote with an Acme bomb headed for his ass. Meep Meep.

Nick breaks it to Jessica

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Woah. "A Canadian source is reporting that Nick Lachey called ex-wife Jessica Simpson to let her know he would be getting married again, and he wanted her to hear it from him."

The source claims the wedding will be very soon. Look for Jessica to then announce that SHE's marrying John Mayer, who will blog that he doesn't even know her, and only met her once, briefly, at a concert for mentally challenged celebs.

Hemingway lives

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Four hilarious love notes writen by ParAss Hilton to Nick Carter have been found. Probably posted by bitter Nick, that guy has anger issues. Anyhow, she pours out her undying love and devotion. I guess "forever" to ParAss means "until I get caught making out with your dumb brother, Aaron, in YOUR Caddy." Because that's what happened, people.



LOVE this one..yeah, Nick I hope you went and got the tats for both of you. ParAss never did. LMAO! D-listed has the rest of this literary love fest from the "bunny."

HA! I knew I'd seen this, just had to hunt..it's a You Tube from House Of Carters and shows Nick going ballistic on Aaron over ParAss. FILM HERE.

Just for fun, here's one where Aaron steps in dog poop. HERE.

K-Fed K-fired

Kevin Federline shows his net worth. JK..that's an old pic of some Save The Penny campaign he did awhile back. But, Glitterati says Kevin got the axe from his modeling job at Five Star Vintage, a clothing line owned by Blue Marlin. Rumor has it the big guys think he's no good if he doesn't have a famous wife. I think they made the wrong decision. I loved his Blue Marlin photos and I'd never heard of Five Star Vintage until Kevin posed for them. Like him or not, he's a good looking guy and the camera loves him. I think they screwed thier own ad camp with this politically correct move. I'll tell 'em so too, if I can find thier e-mail addy. Everyone on the net deserves to hear from me at some point. Hey, that's just the way it is. My nic name is spamalot. That's MS. spamalot to Blue Marlin.

Youth role model

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Pics of more beauty queen dumbellinas have leaked to the net. That's Katie Reese, Miss Nevada. She is expected to be a serious contender in the Miss USA pagent next year. The Donald has already forgiven her and Rosie is sending her old lady underwear.

Diddy X 2

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Christmas came early for P.Diddy. Kim Porter gave birth to healthy twin girls this morning, with Diddy by her side. The first arrived at 7:56 AM weighing 5 pounds, followed 2 minutes later by the second at 5 pounds, 4 ozs. No names, yet, but, you can bet your butt neither of them is named Jennifer. If you send them a gift, I would suggest it NOT be a puppy.

Stunning

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Renee Zellweger at the Miss Potter Premiere in NYC.

I don't know who this chick hired as a stylist, but, she should give them a raise. Lately, almost every photo of her has been stunning. You know I love Bridgett Jones, but, Renee always looked like she was sucking a giant lemon while falling out the back page of LL Bean. This is nice.

Bitch fight continued

Here's the fight films if you wanna laugh...rosie rips the Donald..HERE. (warning it's a TMZ film)

Donald takes on Rosie with no punches pulled...HERE. (You Tube)

I will say this..I admire them both for naming names and saying what they really think. No blind items or inuendos here. They're still mean and have no class.

Smokin'

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Britney Spears caught dancin' at the Forty Deuce club in L.A. No story, I just like the pic where she seems to be trying to shove the cigs in her poon. Reminds me of that old blonde joke..do you smoke after sex? I dunno, I never looked!