Lindsay Lohan out and about

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I'm so sick of reading about her being in rehab. Fark. She's never there. I added a close up of her mirror bauble. What do you suppose her plans are for that thing? She should use it to cuff her silly ass to a radiator in rehab so she can stay in there a whole day.

Britneys nights

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Poontangs hanging out with new people now. What? You didn't think she'd actually stay home with the kids for one night, did you? Here she seems mezmorised by Kimora Lee Simmons or something sparkly. It's hard to tell.




Here she tries to get us to believe she has class. A cheap jacket over a slip does not make an outfit. The knee length is never flattering, and will someone tell her that bag is absurd and her shoes are fug? She still looks like trash.



The night before she was out cruising and had to find bathrooms several times. Lucky for her the paparazzi took care of her, pumping her gas for her, getting the restroom keys and even loaning her that jacket because her outfit was see through. Then, you can bet your ass she was bitching about how they follow her. The paparazzi seem like nothing more than her little gofer boys now. They should get real jobs, it's become embarassing. And, yes, that says MENS...gum chewing scat wad can't read.



I had to add a shot of the back of that slip (and that's what it is, a slip) because the dumb broad forgot to remove the tag. She's been shopping at Target again, and no I'm not kidding. Before you get your pannies in a knot and think I'm being snotty..if you had 100 million dollars would you buy your clothes at Target? Fark no. Because you own a brain.

P. Diddys twins

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I just couldn't resist another pic of the Diddy twin girls. Man, they're cute.

Guess the ass

Think it's just fat ass's that are gross? Nope, skinny ass's can be gross too. Guess the ass. Sorry about the short posting today. I have to go to work then babysit, so I'll be back around 10 pm to blog like the blog whore I am. Just a heads up to save you some clicking. Hugsss.

Blow on the beach?

First we had Denise Richards showing poon on the beach, now alot of gossipists are claiming she was also snorting some blow. I have to go with a "no way" on this rumor. It looks like lip balm to me. Extreme weather makes me all chapped so I put chap stick around the edges of my nose sometimes. I can't see Richards snorting blow in public. Take a look at the photos on egotastic and tell me what you think.

Yay Farrah!

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Farrah Fawcett has been told she is cancer free.

Dr. Gary Gitnick, Fawcett’s lead physician at UCLA, said the actress “has had a full and complete response to treatment” and “her prognosis is excellent.”

Farrah was diagnosed with anal cancer awhile back and has been fighting it. It sounds horrid and I really hope she's now free of it. The world needs slightly crazy Farrah in it for awhile longer.

Jessica and her bag

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I think Jessica Simpson has given up trying to convince us she has a career and is just content to travel around trailing John Mayer. She spends all her time at his concerts, bobbing her blonde head in time to his music and mouthing the few songs she's memorized. Then they go out to dinner at some fab exclusive place where he talks on his cell to his real friends or text messages them and Jess twirls her extensions and gives him puppy dog eyes. How long will Joe Simpson let this go on? Ashlee can't be the only cash cow, can she?

Football is SO gay

Yes, I realize I could piss of some male readers here, but, dudes, if you take your Super Bowl too seriously..you might be gay. Agent Bedhead is one of the funniest bloggers on the planet and he points out that teams have names like Packers, Rams, Giants, Cowboys, Raiders, and Oilers, and postitions like tight end and wide receiver who "score" using an odd shaped ball. Think about it, hetros, wouldn't you rather watch a movie?

Oh, man, the lowest of the low?

Is ParAss Hiltons ex boy friend Joe Francis behind the Paris Exposed website?? Celebitchy makes some valid points in it's investigation and I had wondered about this myself. Joe Francis is a low down dog who makes his fortune exploiting women. Anyone who's watched any of the vids from that Exposed site can see him blatently using ParAss, feeling her up and exposing her in front of people and filming private moments. ParAss is a dumbass, I know, but, he's like a bottom feeding slug pile. Read the article and tell me what YOU think.

If you don't care who's behind it, and you just want to see more Hilton crap, click HERE.

Ohhh, cheap ass Tyra Banks

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We all know Tyra hopes to be a younger Oprah, but, if her gift giving is any example of her generous spirit, Tyra will rot in talk show hell. While her mentor gives her staff cars and vacations, Tyra Banks gave all her staffers a Christmas gift of a thank-you note and a ten dollar gift certifiate for iTunes along with a list of her recommended songs. Oh, Gawd, LMAO! That's bad. Next year they're getting her old greasy hair extensions and an autograhed photo of THIGHra with recommendations of her favorite links to herself. I wonder if she makes the poor fuggers pick up cans by the side of the road to pay for thier own office coffee?

Guess who'd dating Chandler Bing?

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Meg Ryan and Matthew Perry have been pretty cozy lately. Having dim lit dinners and late night visiting. I know, it's a bit boring, but, it's gossip. Do you think they make a good couple?

Simpson look alike gets Nick in trouble

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Oh, juicy gossip about Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo getting into a loud argument in public at club Plumm. A Jessica Simpson look alike tried to give her number to Nick and Vanessa flipped, storming out yelling at Nick. Nick followed, but, it was too late. Vanessa had grabbed a cab and split. There's been a few rumors that these two are not in paradise, and where there's smoke, there's usually some fire. The rumors always revolve around Vanessa's jealous streak.

Gratuitous poon shot

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When that close up came out, people thought they were looking at Richie Sambora’s deflated nutsack. Turns out it was actually Denise Richards poon. Hmmm. People should really buy underwear. That's just fug. I'd go have some cosmetic surgery on that thing, 'cause, you know when your flaps actually become flaps it's time to rethink your poonshooting abilities. Unless you're using them to fly or something.

Photoshopped Mariah still bitching about Em

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There's photoshopping at it's finest. If they can make oinker Mariah Carey look like that, then why does Hef claim they can't put Kelly Osborn in that rag? It's a load of poop. And Mariah in her interview talks about Eminem's "obsession" with her, saying.."Something is clearly askew with him," she tells Playboy, "and I'm not quite sure what it is."

And to Em's songs concerning her, Mariah simply doesn't understand: "I'm curious as to why he's so obsessed with me." "I never got an apology letter, by the way... then again, I wasn't exactly searching my mailbox for it."

He's not obsessed with you, moron. Em fans can tell you he simply despises you and everything you stand for. (Didn't he also put a toilet in his stage act and broadcast flushing sounds when rhyming about her?) He doesn't want you, Mariah, get over yourself.

Sienna fights with paparazzi

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Sienna Miller got pissed at photogs following her around (in NYC) and pushed one of them (it was a good shove by all accounts). Then she hid under a coat. I know it's been said a million times, but, why do people want to be famous so bad, then get mad when people take photos of them?

Oh, Sienna, I count on you for daily insanity now that Blohans in rehab-bobble and Britney's bought some cootch covers. Keep it up girl.

Katie, styled by VB

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The new Bazaar cover featuring Katie Holms Cruise is pretty nice. She looks great because she was styled by guest fashion editor Victoria Beckham. Which proves to me that Poshie really is her friend. Katie says..

"I have a husband and children that I adore. I have a career that I really love. When I sit back and reflect, it's – wow!" Holmes, 28, says in the March issue of Harper's Bazaar.
"I am very grateful. Tom makes me feel like the most beautiful woman in the world and has since the day I met him. I love being with him. I love calling him husband."

Uhhh, okay. I guess if she's happy, we should all get over it and leave her alone. Who am I kidding? We can't stop lamenting her choice of marrying The Little General. I'm surprised she doesn't have to call him Jesus or Christ.

Congrats to the Dempseys!

Patrick Dempsey and his wife Jillian welcomed twin boys! Darby Galen and Sullivan Patrick Dempsey were born Thursday in Los Angeles. They join a 5 year old sister, Talula. Awww, that's cool. Hope we don't have to wait forever for pics of the little McDreamys.

Yo, this is real

Greg Creed President Taco Bell Corp. 17901 Von Karman Irvine, CA 92614
January 31, 2007Mr. Kevin Federlinec/o Marilyn LopezFYI Public RelationsNew York, NY 10023

Dear Mr. Federline,First off, congratulations on your upcoming Super Bowl ad. We heard it's generating a lot of talk, particularly about working in the fast food industry.

We know you respect those who work in our business. In fact, last year you said in an interview, "My kids are going to have to learn what a real job is, what life is. You don't have it easy with me. Period. My kids are going to work at Taco Bell."

We're flattered, but obviously they're too young to work for us. So here's our offer to you: Come work for us, just for a one hour shift. We'll get you a uniform, a custom name tag and show you what a great place Taco Bell is to work. We'll even reward customers who visit that restaurant with an order of our new Carne Asada Steak Grilled Taquitos for free.

We encourage you to continue to "Think Outside the Bun" and hope you accept our tasty offer.

Sincerely,
Greg CreedPresidentTaco Bell Corp.


I sincerely hope that mofo doesn't think he sounds nice and cheerful. He sounds like some Fed bashing idiot who hates his own crappy job so much he wants Kevin to be miserable too. I hope Fed sends him his bank statements and a complimentary copy of PopoZao to shove right up his former taco stuffing bung hole. I would.

Letter from daddy Blow

Omg..how bad does it get for Lindsay Blohan?? This girl's old crank ho mom is dragging photogs inside rehab and her dumbass dad is still writing her public letters from jail. The pages of handwritten crapola are all strung together with references to God and his "plan." Every freekin' jail bird finds God, don't they? Then they use God as a get out of jail card. This is so hideous I wouldn't blame Lindsay if she just gave the fuck up and died. She was raised by moronic farm animals with mad cow disease. Read daddys shit HERE. I swear, if I was The Blow, I'd have all these idiots killed.

Hello Idiot

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There is something seriously the fuck wrong with grown women who collect Hello Kitty. If you collect Hello Kitty, you are retarded. I mean it. You retards.

MJ's errrr, normal kids

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A rare look at Michael jacksons usually covered kids. Prince Michael 1, Prince Michael 2 (the one he calls Blanket), and Paris. Is Blanket wearing a wig? I'm surprised that kid's still alive after being force fed bottles thru a net and dangled off balconies. Some people think MJ used Mccully Culkin's donated sperm to make Prince Michael 1 (top). Hmm, there is a sort of resemblance.

I just hope I live long enough to read thier tell all books. You KNOW it's happening.

Dina's not done pimping out her kid yet

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The one and only four fingered ho mom Dina Blohan flew to her daughter Lindsays side yesterday with camera men in tow. Yeah, from the plane to rehab, Dina Blohan had her own film crew for ET. She couldn't wait to run her mouth with more "sound" ideas.

"She said, “Well, it’s obvious they fabricate [stories], they make it up. It’s not even true and that’s the hurtful part. Someone has to stop the madness and the lies.”

“I’m doing this now because when she finishes up the program, they’re just going to be following her to see if she messes up. It’s just a horrible thing, and someone’s going to get seriously hurt.”

Dina the genius seems to ignore the fact that most of the stuff Lindsay is accused of has been caught on tape. Dina says she's going to “stop the madness before her child is killed”...she also thinks Lindsays friends are "sketchy." Does sketchy mean druggies and whores? Because if it does, then Dina's the sketchiest of all. Lindsay, on the other hand, says she just wants sex and McDonalds. These people are brilliant. I hope they breed some more. I can just hear the convo in Lindsays rehab bathroom. "Mommy will help you as soon as I finish this 8 ball and hump this orderly."

Change the light bulbs..J-Lo's here!

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If you want Jennifer Lopez to appear somewhere you'd better get out a ladder and a paint bucket and well, hire some extra staff to meet her diva demands. A record exec told The Daily Mirror "J.Lo was such a diva when she was here last week. Her people sent us a three-page rider request for her dressing room which was absurd. It was so last-minute."All the lights had to be at a certain wattage and an angle to make her look good. We've never seen anything like it since Michael Jackson asked for a room to be made above the studio so his monkey Bubbles could watch him record."
"Other demands included piping-hot Cuban bread, dozens of packets ofSkittles, a gourmet selection of meats, a cheese platter and scented candles."

Oh, she's a loony self involved diva, we already knew that, but, her demands aren't much crazier than all the other stupid worthless stars. You can read the demands of about everyone on The Smoking Gun backstage report. It's a fun way to kill time and shake your head at the waste and goofyness of celebs.

BBL

Okay, readers, somehow I've gotten my days and nights mixed up, so now it's time for me to go make myself some brunch (it's 6 pm) and I couldn't in all good conscience leave you with those last three losers. So here is a pic of McDreamy, which we all seem to agree is not hard on the eyes. I'll be back after my turkey alfredo (I should give the recipe to Jolene Sugarbaker) and a little white trash TV. Hugs!

Denise and Ritchie

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Don't ask me what Denise Richards sees in Richie Sambora. Hell, I never understood what Heather Locklear saw in him, but, someone should buy the guy some sunblock. I've eaten lobsters paler than that. Dumbass's.

Icky

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Why would anyone show up shirtless at a red carpet event? Danny Bonaduce did at Podfitness.com's TV launch party. It was absurd. Danny was the ugly little kid on the Partridge Family, now he's the ugly man of the year. I don't care how ripped he gets, he's still butt fug ugly and needs a head transplant. Retard.

Pete and repeat

A new film of Pete Dougherty using drugs has been fanning it's way across the net. I am not linking to it, not because I'm a good person, but, because it's boring. All it is, is Pete shooting up and looking dull. Why is this news? He's a freekin' drug addict, that's what freekin' drug addicts do. I am weary of it all. Instead I give you this link to Pete unplugged and hope maybe he can look like this again someday. I think the drug film is more of a comment on the Brit legal system which keeps letting this guy walk away and drive again. Strange.

Shut up, Banks

Oh, enough Tyra. We get that your happy with your "choice" to be 161 pounds. Not that many websites jumped on the fat bandwagon when your beach pics came out..you made a big to do over nothing. Shut up now and get over it. No one cares if your ass is fat anyway (looks at my own wide ass, uhh huu) but, we didn't make a billion dollars parading around the same crap you are now trying to deny. Body image, it sucks doesn't it, bitch? Naomi Campbell should have punched you out a long time ago.

Joe spills it all in sordid detail

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Joe Francis (Girls Gone Wild) talked with Howard Stern about his love life. You just know that's going to turn out bad for someone and indeed it did.

“It was around 8 a.m. Howard time, 5 a.m. Hollywood time…Howard got him to admit that Paris was the best blowjob he'd ever received. When asked who gave the better bj, Paris or Lindsey, Joe responded, "Paris," even though a few statements earlier he claimed, "Lindsey and I are just friends.
When asked who was the worst in bed of all the famous chicks he's slept with (insinuated in this interview: Paris, Lindsey, Kimbo Stewart, Tara Reid) he said Tara was the worst, and when Howard asked why, he went silent again. When asked to explain why he claimed Tara was so bad, he wouldn't come out and say it, but merely mumbled, "…well I only used protection with her, so maybe that made it less pleasurable…" Howard then began asking more leading questions like, "So she just laid there?" or "Was it because she had a big smelly loose vagina?" Joe responded, "More or less, yeah."
To conclude such highbrow topics, Joe stated, "Well I don't plan on having sex with Paris again, especially after seeing the medical documents on the site."

Ehhh, he'd have sex with a maggot filled cow carcass. And film it. What a bozo. With any luck, he'll never get laid again. I can't believe anyone would want to sleep with his moronic ass, but, all the chicks he mentions are pretty brain dead, and we've already heard this same crap from Fez and the Jackass guys. Buncha whores.

Britney Spears in her car

Who knew the photogs at X17 could take pics like that? The reflections of the trees in the window and the colors are surreal. She should use it as her next album cover. Not that I'd buy any of her crappy music, but, I'd look at the picture. I cropped it out of the one below.



Sometimes we just have to find the beauty in everyday life, right Sean P? Don't turn your head hon, you just keep looking out the window. Trust me.

Hi daddy!

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The Olsens ran into thier old friend Bob Saget at the DVD release party for "Farce of the Penguins"..these Hollywood people have a party for everything, don't they? People are worried that the girls will bite Sagets neck and feast on his soul. I'm not, I happen to know that MK and Ash are allergic to non designer nerd blood, and Bob Saget has no soul.

My late night addiction

She's Jolene Sugarbaker and she's the queen of the trailer park. Her You Tube cooking shows keep me occupied for great lengths of time wondering if I'm supposed to piss laughing or earnestly search for ingredients. I still don't even know if she's a man or a woman, but, Jolene has captured my heart..or at least my funny bone. So do yourself a favor, next time you're bored, put on some blue eye shadow and step inside the double wide and watch some Jolene Sugarbaker.

Jolenes cooking here.

I still haven't had the guts (pun intended) to try her recipes, but, if I ever learn to drink I might give her spicy cheesy rice crispy treats a go. I haven't seen any other bloggers give her a link, so if no one else thinks she's a star..well, I do. Heh.

Todays game

Okay, sharp eyed readers..guess the red carpet smile.

Stone on fags

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Please kill me because Sharon Stone is making sense and it must be the end of the world. Sharon thinks making Isaiah Washington go to rehab for calling TR Knight a faggot is absurd. She says she's been called worse and calls all her gay friends big fags. Well, that parts just stupid...but, the old ho has a point. A bigot isn't going to change because someone makes them attend rehab. And why should they? We do have free speach here, even for idiots. Washington played his hand and let us all know what he really is. Shouldn't that be enough? Next thing you know Britney Spears will be forced into underwear rehab for insulting us with her puss.

Diddys double bling

Hello mag has the first pics of P. Diddys twin girls. Oh, they are the cutest little bundles. But, I have to wonder if thier first sentance will be "Diddy do Sienna?"

Sienna sex scenes..real?

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Did they??? Word's out Sienna Miller and Hayden Christensen humped each other silly in The Factory Girl and it was all real. The two had a relationship in real life and could not control thier passion on camera and the sex scenes in the movie are real..that's what the gossip is! Ohhh! It wouldn't be the first time actors have had actual sex in a non porn film, but, it does titilate the imagination. Sienna has nada to say about the rumors, but, her rep says , no, she's just a really good actress. Is she? Sorry, Sienna, but, critics are saying you aren't. Aww.

Rachel Zoe needs me

Rachel Zoe without me.



Rachel Zoe after me. Rachel Zoe needs to friggin' hire ME to retouch her dumb old ass before everything goes South in public. RACHEL! I know you're a high paid stylist with a hole in your nose and a baggie in your Prada, but for only $59.95, I'm a bargain. Dammit..I can't even make $59.95 on this friggin' site.

Poontangs grocery list

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Britney's back to dark fake hair and wearing a Star of David. Like I care. I do like reading this grocery receipt of hers though...

Hot dogs……$4.19
Doritos……$1.88
Lean Cuisine One Dish Favorite frozen meal (5)….$10.00
Diet Coke and 7-Up, 12-packs….$7.79
Florida’s Natural orange juice (2)….$6.00
Bib……………$3.99
Pampers Easy-ups, size 6…….$10.79
Pampers Swaddlers, size 1……….$10.49

When's she gonna potty train that kid? I hope the bib was for her, because you rarely see her without something spilled or hurled on her.

Bride......zilla!

Have you ever watched Bridezilla? This is one of the funniest things I've ever seen in my life. Take a peek at the bride flipping out over her hair. It's unreal. Video.

Harry and the horsies

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I found Equus disturbing the first time I saw it. Now Londons version puts Daniel Radcliffe in it and it's the last thing I'd like to see. Harry Potter naked? Mutilating horses? Ick.

ParAss sues

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Yeah, Parass Hilton is sueing to get her stuff back and Paris Exposed shut down. A little late now, isn't it? Every blogger online owns copies of her precious "stuff" including me. I only like this picture because it looks like maybe Joe Francis is shoving some fireworks up her stupid ass. I'd pay 39.95 to light the fuse.