Annas funeral dress

"Her son’s death apparently led Smith to morbid thoughts of her own demise. Attorney Ron Rale said Stern had told him that Smith had been working with a seamstress on a dress for her own funeral."
“There’s a dress Anna Nicole had, the dressmaker had been preparing a dress,” Rale said."

Howard K. knows about the dress and we will see the dress. Even if Anna is cremated, somehow, we will see the dress because THAT photo could fetch a million bucks. Hey, the guy has to buy diapers!

Note: Anna Nicloes body has been embalmed.

Fug gets a date

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Cameron Diaz is forgetting Justin with this guy, Djimon Hounsou. I don't know much about him except he's Oscar nominated for his work in Blood Diamond. The pair were seen canoodling at Hydes (L.A.) and left together.

Britney..the reasons

Britneys manager has released this statement..

"Britney has been through a tragic thing that hopefully will never happen again, shaving her hair was a sort of therapeutic thing for her."

Other sources claim she was raped at a club. Others say she shaved her hair as a tribute to a deceased aunt who lost her hair due to cancer treatments. A couple of gossipists reminded us she did this before in her "Dream Within A Dream" tour, but, it was just a bald wig and make up. This time it's real and her hair will be sold on eBay. Unless Britney cares to tell us, or there's some crime report somewhere..I doubt we'll ever know why she did it.

Tyra Banks is nuts..proof

Listen to her. She actually thinks she contributed to Black History and changed the world with a photoshopped bikini picture. She needs to be put in the inflated ego rehab. Besides, the bitch isn't even that black.

Hugh's single!

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Hugh Grant is single! Hugh and Jemima Khan (which must have been a fun name to say during sex) have gone thier seperate ways and Hugh is on the market again. Good news for single girls everywhere. He's cuter than a gnats wrist watch and sexy too. Hmmm, now who can we set him up with?

Britney before shaving

Besides the red heart on her arm, she got a cross on her hip. It's pink, white and black. I just liked the photo. I don't think she's going to need that hair tie around her wrist for awhile.

Kate Moss not welcome in America?

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Kate Moss went to an American embassy in England to get a work visa and that’s when they told her that she coud not get into America without passing a drug test. Kate has never been charged on any drug crime. I was a bit outraged at this report. It's not like she's a meth cooker. Her crimes have been against herself, and I repeat, she has never been legally charged with a thing. This is crazy. Kate, just tell them you're a terrorist, they'll let you in. Hell, they'll buy you a plane.

Kim says Em has a small pee pee

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Eninem's ex ex wife, Kim Mathers has flipped out on him again and says he has a small penis. Last I heard they were engaged again..I'm betting that wedding is off now.

"he's not very well endowed." said Mathers, "If you're going to have sex with Marshall, make sure you have a little blue pill, because otherwise it does not work."

Owch. I don't like people who talk about ex lovers genitals and performance. I find they're usually liars. Maybe it's not Em's size problem Kim. Maybe it's yours. Ask yourself, does Em park his SUV in my vagina? I'm betting the answer is yes.

Open letter to Britney Spears

Britney, I know there's chance you could see this letter. Get some help Brit. Do it now. Justin told you, Felicia told you, many people are telling you. I'm telling you, get some help. No one want's to see you end up like Anna Nicole. You have two babies, you have talent, you're a little bald right now. That's okay, it looks alright to me, better than the extensions. It'll grow out soon anyway.

So, you got drunk and showed some poon and did some crazy stuff. Big deal. I know I call you Poontang and have some fun here at your expense. If you weren't interesting I'd ignore you, so it's all in fun, not meant to hurt you. Please get some help, Britney. A lot of people care about you. I'm one of them. GET SOME HELP. NOW. Do it for the boo boos.

DD

ParAss Hilton in Vienna

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Hate on her all you want, but, if anyone throws a cig butt at THAT dress, I will personally have your ass. I've never worn a ball gown in my life, but, if I did..this would be the one.

Queen of the damned?

Yeah, Gweneth Paltrow has nice hair and it's her own, but, look at the face. Don't look at the face too long or your soul will belong to Beelzebub and you'll start chanting "We will, we will..rock you." The necklace is real ( I just know these things), she was at a Diamond charity function. She was gathering souls. Have a nice trip across the river Stix, Gwenny. >Shudders<

Britney shaves her head

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Hmmmmm, like her new look? I don't mind it. This is the least crazy thing she's done lately. And, since her real hair is all messed up from extensions and glue..what the hell? I'd go for it too. She's still wearing Isaacs Star Of David though. That's a little crazy. Maybe she thinks it's a Pentacle.

UPDATE: more on the balding of Britney Spears..
When the hairdresser refused, a source says Spears "grabbed the hair clipper and started doing it herself," reports Us Weekly. Then she jetted over to Body & Soul Tattoo in Sherman Oaks, where employee Emily Wynne-Hughes says the singer was agitated and a "nightmare" to deal with. When asked about her new 'do, an exasperated Britney told Hughes, "I don't want anyone touching me. I'm tired of everyone touching me."Her two new tattoos -- a black, white and pink cross on her hip and red and pink lips on her wrist -- cost $80. During the one-hour visit, the employee noticed a stain on the singer's white handbag, and Brit explained she had "spilled Nyquil all over it." (From TMZ.)

J-LO gets booed

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Jennnifer Lopez cries as the crowd at Berlin Film Festival boo's her movie "Borderline." I'm not a huge fan, but, I don't enjoy seeing her cry and not look gorgeous, but, we all get booed in life sometimes..suck it up Jen. At least no one threw ciggy butts and ice cubes at you.

How many things can we throw at Paris?

Paris get ciggy butts chucked at her during an appearance and is taken away by handlers. VIDEO.

And Crabbie didn't toss that ice at ParAss, but, he does wonder how many things would be fun to chuck at Parass and gives us a pictorial of possible choices. I cracked up. Check it out.

The Blow is freeeeeeeeee

Lindsay Blohan's out of rehab now. She claims she did 30 days and is now an out patient. Fark! She was an out patient from the time she checked in. Whatever, now Britney Poontang can have her room. There's probably a stash under the bed, Poon.

Hey, Noelle..time for our "blow out!" LMAO!

Grey's Anatomy

Please. Meridith is in some coma because she drowned and McDreamy saved her. Or did he?? (Cue suspense music here.) Meridith just had her friggin' appendix rupture and was also in an explosion. (This is more bullshit than Lohan and her appendectomy.) Meanwhile Izzy has borrowed a drill from some grease monkey, and is drilling for oil in some dudes head, under a car. While being instructed by cell phone. So? I could do that. Gimmie a drill and bend over so I can see your.... skull. Christina runs around through the whole episode going "Meridith is my person." And Izzie makes an "I believe" speach that no one understood and was longer than the Grammys. This show is going too far and I have too many brain cells to be watching it anymore. Maybe if Izzy drills some holes in my friggin' head I can dig it again, but, I doubt it.

Good. After Ugly Betty, which is supposed to be goofy and soapy, my Thursdays are now free again.

Pooner in rehab

Poontang checked into rehab, then checked out of rehab. Does anyone give a shit? She may be in the Bahamas, so that kid I posted is probably Dannilynn. Britney gets so confused. Howard K. Stern is probably trying to figure out why his baby is wearing front load diapers about now. They all suck. Good night.

Donnatella and Allegra

People expect me to belive Donatella Versace gave birth to this girl. People expect me to believe Donatella Versace once had the equipment to give birth. Oh, piss off. Donatella is a tranny with a face that looks like a farming accident. Bitch fell in an auger head first.

There he is!! Peekaboo!

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There's little Jayden James Federline, aka Small Fry. Finally someone got a pic! Wish it had been me, because you know that photo brought the mother load. Of course he's cute and not deformed..doh. I told you he'd look just like the other one.

Better look now, because I just know I'll be getting a letter tomarrow to take it off. I'm psycho, err, psychic. Yeah, that's it. Heh.

Lily

Lily Allen sings The Littlest Things. Give it two min of your time and I'll bet you'll agree with me..she should have won something. The video is brilliant and so's the song.

Lilly wins........nada

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Here is a photo of my poor Lily Allen sobbing in the streets, presumably because she won nothing at the Brit Awards. She was nominated in 4 categories, but, won in none. I think it's because she speaks her mind. I don't always agree with her, but, I do believe she was slighted for political reasons. And that, my friends, pisses me off. So, I will post my fav Lily song as a "sorry" to her.

TY crabbie for the tip.

BTW, they chose Timberlake as international best. I guess I DON'T get the Brits sometimes. Then again, Lily was beaten out by Amy Winehouse in the best female category and Amy DOES bring the house down. Chick's AWRFLEE good. So, maybe I still love the Brits anyway. :)

Posh gets mobbed

Holy Crap! Victoria Beckam gets mobbed by paparazzi while out house hunting. Jeez Louise, can't they get back a little? Click the pic and it'll take you to the TMZ film.

Screw this noise

Yeah, I'm making a post about phones. I see this shit a lot on blogs. Not ads, actual posts about phones. Like phones are celebrities. It's a fucktard phone..get over it. Next week a new hotter phone will show up and this phone will go into porn and suck Nokias dick. I hate this obsession with "sexy" phones. I still have one with a dial and curly cord in my kitchen and you know what? It works fine. I'm also sick of celebs being given thier phones and service free. Yeah, THAT pisses me off. The services are paid for by the companies just so we can drool over people like ParAss talking into her hot sexy fuckable phone. The old black trak I have in my bag works just as good. Technology is beautiful, but, phones are just fucking phones. How come no one gets wet over a blender?



I decided to take a quick snap of all my phones. They all work and they're sexy enough for me. There's a bottle of Dollar Store fabric spray if this post stinks and a quarter to call someone who cares.

A bunch of crop

I'm tickled Katie Holmes isn't hiding her height anymore to please the Little General. I wish I was tall and I'd sure never hide it. Now, I can crop most of his fug face out, yet still show him. If Katie would buy one inch taller heels..... Ah ha ha!

Which Olsen is the bad one?

cityrag has these photos displayed. PETA put Ashley on thier worst dressed list because of her fur wearing. The weird thing is...the one on the right isn't Ash, it's Mary Kate. (Check her fav Emerald.) But, even curiouser is why Ash is on the list and MK isn't. I'm telling you, even in photos, I can spot real fur. That MK wears real fur too. Color me confused.

I still hate PETA..do not contact me PETA, I will send you a virus.

SnagHag gets Drews leftovers

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SnagHag, Kirsten Dunst is dating Fabrizio. Reports said Drew Barrymore broke up with him because she wasn't ready to marry and he was. Whatever the reason, he's taken a downgrade. Yes, Dunst is talented, I'll give her that, but, she's fug by her own choice. She never combs or washes her hair, she dresses like a bag lady and she thinks those teeth are okay. That's fug. Bad Fabrizio, bad!

Would you hit that?

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The Hoff rehearsing for The Producers, in Vegas. Just when I thought he couldn't get any less appealing. Please don't let him sing again. It peels my wallpaper and I have to shove no.2 pencils in my ear to stop the madness.

(For my friend Swampy..who actually likes him and is otherwise an intelligent woman.)

Charlize may play Anna Nicole

There is serious talk around Hollywood that Charlize Theron coud be playing the part of Anna Nicole Smith in a movie about the dead stars life. I hope so. I think Anna would like that and Charlize would never be involved in any made for tv project. It would have to be a good script for her to take it. Yes, I realize she's from South Africa and she's not a bimbo..but, she wasn't isn't a lesbian serial killer (Monster) either and she won and Oscar for that.

Candyman

X-Tina's Candyman cover. Isn't that so cute?

Dang! Missing Blog

Yes, I notice when a blog I love goes missing, even if I do have 300 blogs marked. Where did "seriouslyWTFomg" go? Awww, I liked them. Seriously-WTF-OMG..If you're out there somewhere reading this..I miss you.

Jess in Allure

Jessica Simpson in Allure magazine. Yeah, she can be cute in photos. It's photoshopped to hell and back, but, everyone else in Hollywood is too, so I won't rag her. I still think maybe John Mayer turns the lights down and pastes one of these photos over her face at night, but, I'm just a jealous bitch. If you're a Jessica fan and you want a large version of these pics for wallpaper (or things I don't wanna know about) go to Egotastic.

Felicia is off Poontangs porch

Britney Spear's personal assistant, Felicia Culotta has quit. She's taken care of Britney for 9 years and has had enough. Here's a quote...

"I cherish ALL the incredible opportunities that came my way thru my job with Britney and am crushed/saddened/heart sick by the way her life is unfolding...There's just so much you can do to help a person - I don't dare want to be an enabler, and I cannot love her enough for the both of us. I cannot convince her in ANY way to love herself. I'm so Southern, and the BEST way for me to tell you how I feel is to say - You can just kick an old Dog so many times before he gets off the porch," she wrote. I, FELICIA, am OFF the porch!!"

Another model dead

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Eliana Ramos, 18, was found dead at home in Uruguay. So heartbreaking for her family as it was her sister Luisel who died of a heart attack during a fashion show only six months ago.

Should the fashion industry change its standards for models? Some countrys are. Should they all? What I'm asking is..should there be a minimum body mass index for all models, underage models, or what?

Recently, Diane Von Furstenburg, President of the Council of Fashion Designers of America, was asked if models would ever need to face healthy weight requirement standards at American Fashion Weeks. Her response: "Over my dead body!" Ironic, huu?



There is no question as to weather this model is healthy. She looks like death. But, should she be legal to work? How much of any models eating disorder is anyone else responsible for?

The worst idea...EVER!!!

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Skeeze filmer Joe Francis actually thinks there's a market for Girls Gone Wild fashion. Yes, you too can dress like some drunken sorority chick who'd strip down and play with her self and her drunken gf for Joe Francis and his camera. What's Joe gonna call this fashion line? Skeeves For Skanks? Drawers For Whores? YOU tell me..I'm sure my readers can come up with some good names and I'll try and find out how we can send them to Joe.

A new book!

$9.99 at Pube Lickers Clearing House.

Number 23

Jim Carrey in Number 23. Looks spooky.

Tara blows her top at Joe

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Tara Ried is livid about Joe Francis saying she was the worst sex he ever had. If you remember sleezy Joe slept with ParAss, Lohan, Kim Stewart and other Hollywood hos and said Tara was, well, the worst lay. Seems Tara ran into Joe at a pre Grammy party (so, yes, this is a "hours" old) and Joe yelled for her to come over to his table. Tara blew up and told him to "Get away from me. Never talk to me again."

First, why is Joe Francis so stupid? Does the Girls Gone Wild producer actually think you can insult a woman in public like that and then make nice? Tara shouldn't be so mad at what he said because no one believes his crap anyhow. She should be mad and upset because now we know for sure she actually woke up with Joe Francis at least once. Talk about a friggin' coyote date. I'd have chewed my arm off, checked for cameras and then put a pillow over his face before I left.

American Idiot

American Idol put this guy through last night, to the top 24 I think. I didn't watch the beginning shows, I found them too painful. Horrid people dressed for The Price Is Right who were tone deaf and slow. It was ghastly and humiliating. But, last night I saw this Sundance guy go through. I was like, wtf? He doesn't sing all that well, and he's really stupid. When they picked him over another contestant he turned to the guy and said "When I hit it big, I'll make you my body guard." He was serious. Insulting and stupid. And ugly. The judges also put some chick through who couldn't carry a tune if her life depended on it and she was not pretty. I don't get this show. I doubt I'll watch it again.

Oh, and don't write me all pissy because I back the judges right to judge partly by looks. If you are making or spending millions to promote an American Idol, you damn sure have the right to make sure you pick someone who looks commercial. Not some slob assed douche like this guy.

Do pics tell secrets?

I came across this odd photo somewhere and put it in my files. I remember the article was about TC turning J-lo and Marc into Scientologists. We know that's true, but, who cares? What really interested me was the body language. Marc seems to be trying to ignore TC by focusing on something in the distance. TC seems to be giving some subliminal message as well as in ya face stuff. J-Lo is just saying "Admire me for I am beautiful." Katie, OMG..she's pulled away, her expression is phoney and odd. Like a mask. Look at her hand. Tell me how you interpret this photo.

Anna starved her baby? Pffft...

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From Anna Nicoles former nanny, Quethlie Alexis...

"Alexis was ordered to "underfeed" Dannielynn because "Ms. Marshall was obsessed with making sure that her baby was 'sexy.' Ms. Marshall knew that the correct amount of baby food was 3 ounces every 3 hours ... Ms. Marshall insisted that the maximum I was to give was 2.5 ounces. Dannielynn is badly underweight and not thriving, as a baby should."

Anna Nicole threatened to "shoot her" if the baby ever addressed the nanny as "Mummy."
Anna Nicole tried to kill herself two separate times. "On the first occasion, she drank in my presence an entire bottle of what I believed to be a sleeping aid." When Smith woke up from the resulting 48-hour coma, she blurted out the words "I wanted to die ... I meant to kill myself."
Smith "tried to drown herself" in her swimming pool, but Howard K. Stern rescued her from the pool. After the rescue Stern was overheard saying to Smith, "If anything happens to you, I would go to jail."

She never witnessed Shane Gibson (the Bahamian Minister of Immigration) and Smith having sex, but the former nanny claims the minister would, "spend hours alone with Ms. Marshall in her bedroom" on a "daily basis."

I know the suicide attemp in the pool has been verified. I doubt the stuff about the baby. Dannilynn looks plump and healthy to me. Quethlie Alexis stated this gossip in a legal document filed in December. Well, you be the judge. I'm sick of the whole thing, I wish they'd get that baby where she's legally supposed to be while she still has some chance of bonding. It hurts my heart to see her on the news all the time. And this Alexis whore sounds more like she nannied Anna more than Dannilynn.

Affleck and his, errrr, whatever

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Ben Affleck is on a health kick and has stopped smoking and tried colonics. Ben said of colonics "I lost my virginity all over again that day, in so many ways. I don't think I will be having it done again."

I'm glad he's not blowing smoke in little Violets face anymore, but, I don't think I want to know how he lost his butt virginity in the first place. I've listened to his wife, Jen Garner, in a lot of interviews and the only thing that chick would strap on is a gingham apron. He probably hasn't seen this much crap since he broke up with J-Lo.

Jim Carrey says TC is a joke

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Jim Carrey has been talking....a lot. Jim to CNN..

"Everyone gets to be the big joke for a year. That's this business. Last year it was Tom Cruise. I could be the next Kathie Lee Gifford. "

Geez, I thought he and Tom were friends..he was at the big wedding. But, it's true and we all know it. The only one who actually knows Tom Cruise and has the balls to say it, is Jim Carrey. I do like Jim in roles that aren't full of his face stretching and "ha cha" antics. So, I'm going to find a clip of his new horror movie and post it later, but, right now, I'm looking at that photo and wondering..Is Jim Carrey secretly a hot dude? Naaaaaa, it's gotta be a trick. Or my Nyquil. Heh.

Little General lays down the law..Katie breaks it

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Sources claim Katie and her Little General are fighting about domestic things. Tom wants another clone, Katie wants to work on her career. Tom is trying to run her career and choose her projects, but, Katie has her own ideas. She also wants to take baby Suri with her for three months while she works on that movie with Queen Latifah, but, Tom is fighting it. If she does go with Katie, Tom says he will send Scientology handlers with them. Somehow, I think this gossip is too true.

Katie is not trying to look short anymore, and it looks like Tom has her so stressed her nose broke out, or she had it pierced. I hope she pierced it and wore a nose ring to the Scientologist church meeting. If she doesn't take Suri with her, I will lose any respect I had for her. TC can fly in on weekends, he's working anyway. Gawd, what's wrong with him? He's such a butt head.

I've changed my mind

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I was the first to laugh when designer Lydia Hearst refused Britney a bag, because she wanted them to go to "accomplished young women who are doing something positive.."

Pffft, this is Lydia back in her day. I love the fashion runways and I'm no prude, but, what exactly is Lydia accomplishing here? It's clear she once had her wild times and now she's all, like, Britney Spears is not getting one of my bags. Oh, piss off, you're just another spoiled anorexic heiress. And we already have one of those here, we call her ParAss.

A really good question

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I haven't seen "Dreamgirls" yet, and I will never see "Norbit", but, one New York Post writer, Lou Lumenick, is pondering a big question while talking about the ad campagn for "Norbit."

"Have you ever made a really big mistake?" The ads got changed. Presumably, somebody at Paramount belatedly realized people were thinking the mistake was made by Eddie Murphy, who may have lined his pockets with "Norbit" at the expense of winning a Best Supporting Actor Oscar for another of the studio's releases, "Dreamgirls."

As someone who despises Eddie Murphy and his endless fat suits and fart jokes, I say, it's a good question. A very good question indeed.

The kiss, the kiss..oh gawd shut up

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"There is no tongue and it is really not a big deal to kiss," the 42-year-old actress (Courtney Cox) tells syndicated TV entertainment show "Access Hollywood" in an interview set to air Wednesday.
"I am not saying, `Don't tune in to watch Jennifer on the show,' because she is fantastic and you get to see us together again," Cox says. "But if you think it is just about a major make-out session, you will be disappointed."

I can NOT believe this woman is still talking about this absurd lesbian kiss. For cripes sake, are we such a superficial low rent bunch of idiots that we tattoo the date of this episode of Dirt into out forehead so we don't forget to watch the LESBIAN KISS????? If they're aiming at a male audience, that's insulting to the entire male gender. I refuse to believe all my guy friends are this stupid and horny. Only a couple of them are.