Saturday, October 20, 2007

THAT'S what Henry looks like without his shirt???


Ugly Betty's sometimes, almost, kinna sorta boy friend Henry Grubstick (Christopher Gorham) is looking like this on next weeks episode. Oh geez...who knew???

I really hope this doesn't become a trend




Cate Blanchett and Heather Graham in dress's that..what's the term? I don't know. Just pull the damn things up. They look like they need to have some cement blocks under them.

Suri...



Just because it's such a pretty picture.

Friday, October 19, 2007

Hunter Tylo's son drowns



*The body of Michael Tylo Jr., 19, was found fully clothed on Wednesday night in the pool behind his mother's Las Vegas-area house.*

It is thought that the young man went outside to use his cell phone and had a siezure and fell in the pool. Hunter (star of "The Bold and the Beautiful") was in LA at the time and is said to be devastated. The cause of death was listed as an accidental drowning. This is so sad. Rest In Peace, young Michael.

Dogs in Halloween costumes



Need I say more?? LMAO!

James Haven needs to stuff a sock in it


Angelina's dufus brother thinks her family is amazing. "They're unbelievable," Haven, 34, tells Marie Claire in the upcoming November issue. "Zahara likes to hide from Angie, who always knows, right when she walks in the room, that Z's playing."


Oh, you're kidding me! It's like she's psychic. Is that like when Lis puts a magazine over her face here and yells "I hidin'!"? Then I go..Oh, my gosh, where did you go??? Yeah, this idiot wouldn't know jack about the kids anyhow, he's too busy staring at his sister and imagining her naked and making excuses for why he has to stay all night. Yeah, I said it.

Britney's parenting coach has had enough


The parenting coach the judge had assigned to Britney has called him and asked to be taken off the case. Britney won't listen to her, is a smartass and usually isn't even there when she shows up. Meanwhile Jayden said his first sentance..."Britney who?"

The Search for the Next Elvira


Reality series -- Fox Reality; Sat. Oct. 13, 12 a.m. ET/9 p.m. PT...bull pucky, you can't replace The Mistress Of The Dark and why would you try? She still looks great wearing her vulgar sexy vampfit and is still capable of her cheesy one liners. I'm not watching this..it's too sad. Honk if you love Elvira.

Tom and Katie..Suri runs the show


Oh, sigh, geez. The media is going crazy with the way Tom and Katie raise Suri. Suri is not disciplined, instead she is reasoned with. Suri wants to stay up, she gets to stay up. Suri wants to go swimming, she goes swimming. And Suri was raised on a formula of barley, milk and corn syrup. That gem is credited to L. Ron, but, it's an old home remedy. Corn syrup is a gentle natural laxative, in case you didn't know and it's good for baby mammals of any sort. Instead of making the Cruise's look insane, they're making them seem normal to me. Babys rule everyone. There's nothing you can do with a baby but give it eveything it wants, within reason, and follow it around preventing it from self combusting. WTF else are you supposed to do? Suri is only 18 months old. Bow down to her highness..it's just the way it is. I can't believe I have nothing bad to say about Tom. Maybe tomarrow.

Brad Pitt..probably a pussy


Brad Pitt went to the University of Missouri and spent his time doing things like tanning a sororites initials on his butt and mooning people at games. Everyone thought it was hysterical. Ummm yeah right. I went to Northwest Mo. and I can tell you there was no one there who looked like Brad. Well, there was that one guy, but, while the rest of us were getting second degree burns pouring molten metal in the foundry and sweating our ass's off mixing barrels of clay, this guy spent 4 years in the pitt making porcelain dollies with his toy poodle. Maybe it WAS Brad. Show us your funny funny butt, Brad. Gawd.

Kim Cattrall on the set of SATC


Okay, I might buy anything they come up with for a plot, the wedding, the dream, the new baby..but I will NOT believe Samantha Jones has a dog. Sam would never own a dog, any pet, a plant, an infant or anything living. It's just stoopid. She'd be more likely to hook up with that thing with it's head cut off if it came with something that walked on two legs and owned a giant penis. Don't fark with my head, SATC.

Ballbuster Jessica Seinfeld accused of plagerisim


Jessica Seinfeld just kissed Oprahs ass with 18 thousand dollars worth of Christian Louboutin shoes..it was a thanks for promoting her cookbook, Deceptively Delicious. Now it turns out foodies have outted her for stealing the recipes form The Sneaky Chef book. I KNEW I'd hear that stuff before. For someone who has the IQ of a ferret licking a plate of crank, I have an amazing recall of worthless bullshit, err, trivia.
Jessica fascinates me because she was a nobody who snagged kerbillionaire Jerry and has managed to birth three of his spawn and keep him with her. The story I heard was that she was walking through an airport with her groom to go on their honeymoon when Jerry spotted her and had to have her. This was about two seconds after he broke up with that Shoshanna chick, who's teenage ass he'd been kissing for years. Happily ever after.
Jessica is one strange cold bird..watch her cook with Regis HERE.

Amy Winehouse..busted


Amy Winerun was busted for marijuana possesion in Norway. Her hubby, Blake was also charged. Geez, and people say this couple doesn't spend quality time together! They had about a quarter ounce, paid a fine and went on their way. You herbologists might consider moving to Norway.

Why the frick is Hilary Duff at the Latin Music Awards???


Hilary did a medley of her hits. Oh, that should take all of 30 seconds. What hits?? This crap makes my head ache.

How can I go a day without a Poontang post?




Britney claims she had her visitation pulled because her phone gets bad reception. She just didn't get the calls from the judge or the drug testy peoples. Between the faulty gate buzzer and the bad evil cell phone, she may never see those kids again. It aint her fault, y'all, she just has bad 'lectronics! She got her some new poofy lips and ran over a TMZ paps foot too. Ehh, how many TMZ cameras do we need, really? The next hearing is Oct. 26th where the "old fart" might let her look in Kevins front window and wave at the boys.
Note..from Kevins lawyer..“She has complied with the part of the order [causing the suspension],” Kaplan says. “I expect that visitation will be reinstated.”
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There's her new lip..I guess she couldn't spring for the top one. That's chocolate, not a sore...at least I think it's chocolate, whith her you never know.

You can be MJ for Halloween


Wacko Jacko mask for Halloween..LINK. Now all you have to do is speak in a whispery little girl voice, touch little boys and chase your nose across the room and you're MJ! Mix up a blender of Jesus Juice and get the party started.

Panettiere is hooking up with Dooney and Burke


Pantyliner scored a deal to design handbags for Dooney and Burke. She says,"I wanted to do something people haven't seen from Dooney & Burke before, so my bag is red patent leather."
Hmmmm, haven't they done that? Dooney and Burke are one of my fav handbag designers and I even managed to score one. You don't have to spend 500 bucks (that's what Panty's is going to retail at), all you have to do is watch QVC or outlet stores for close out sales. I don't mind plugging them for free because they rock..but, what does it really mean when a celeb "designs"? Me thinks it's just her putting her name on stuff. How does a teenage girl with no design experience decide she's a designer? Pfffft. I hope she has to hawk that sucker on TV..that could be a hoot. Hopefully she's like Jessica Simpson and doesn't even know which product is hers.

There's something you don't see often



Beth Ditto with her clothes on!! She was at Fashion Rocks and she was asked to please keep her clothes on and she did. Cutie!

Thursday, October 18, 2007

The female condom..demonstration

John Mayer reads ALL the blogs



“I read all the blogs...Every time I get a new handbag, I like to go see how it looks and what they’re saying about it. I wear some high-waisted pants. Fashion forward — I want to be first. People comment on everything."
You look hot John, you've always looked hot since you got that dumb blonde growth on your arm removed. I love it when men wear purple ties and purple shirts. G'head tell John how hot he looks. He loves the comments.

I'm such a Nigella fan

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Nigella Lawson has just put out a new cookbook, it's called Nigella Express. If you love food and cooking, you should get it. I adore Nigella. I love the fact that she has an ass and hips, that her pantry is a mess and her kids aren't perfect and she's not afraid to shovel it in. She entertains me for hours even though I really can't cook. I still like watching other, more talented people cook. You can see her on You Tube.

Cute kid, strange name

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Jason Lee took his son, Pilot Inspektor to LA Fashion Week. Pilot Inspektor, huu? I guess it's better than Earl.

Americas favorite homo says Britney won't call him


Lance Bass has known Brit forever and now she won't talk to him.

Lance: "It was the night of her first wedding, actually. I was in Vegas with her, her dancers, her manager, and my boyfriend at the time… Her manager had already gotten rid of [her first husband] Jason [Alexander] - they’d flown him home. Britney was upset about what she had done…I felt the need to share something. So I sat her on my bed, and I’m like, Well, I’m gay!"

Lance says that's the last time he saw his friend Britney Spears and she won't return his calls. Aww, geez, Lance..everyone adores you so don't take it personally. I doubt it's because Brit doesn't like gays, it's just that she finally figured out there was not one chance in celeb Hell you were ever going to sleep with her.

Just an observation about Kellie Pickler



When Kellie was on AI she was so cute..dumb as a sprouting onion, but, cute. Now she's got the Hollywood plastic boobs, fake and bake and whatever that is she's done to her poor face. Geeez, this makes me so sad. Why would a young cute girl want to make herself look 40??? Because she really IS dumb as toast, I guess.

Sex And The City..Brady grew up!


Cynthia Nixon (Miranda) does a SATC scene with her onscreen son, Brady. Holy crap, they grow up fast. I don't really care about the plot, they don't even have to have a plot..I just wanna see the girls back together.

Owen feeling better..by magical means?


His friends say Owen Wilson is on the mend, he's moved to a new house in Malibu, he's walking his dogs, riding his moped and friendly with his neighbors. He's trying to change his life and attitudes. One thing Owen's embraced is a native American ritual of purification. He had a medicine man from the Hualapai tribe go with him and some friend to the Grand Canyon and do a cleansing ritual with feathers, smoke and dancing. He's getting a lot of flack for it in the news.

Why should anyone give this guy grief for turning to alternative help? As someone who regulary sages her house, is now on Colloidal Silver for infection (yes, it seems to work) and who keeps in close contact with her reiki healer, I can relate. And how dare anyone call Owen nuts for trying something different. There's more to life than what meets the eye. A lot more.

Britney should try a couple of these every morning




*ST. LOUIS, Missouri (Oct. 15) - The people who brought you the Monster Thickburger and the 1,100-calorie salad are at it again -- this time for breakfast. Hardee's / AP Hardee's new Country Breakfast Burrito contains 920 calories and 60 grams of fat. Jayne Hurley, senior nutritionist at The Center for Science in the Public Interest, has called it the "country breakfast bomb." *

**********************************************

Good grief, this thing has.. two egg omelets filled with bacon, sausage, diced ham, cheddar cheese, hash browns and sausage gravy, all wrapped inside a flour tortilla. Hardee's makes no apology, saying they just want a meal that fills people up. I'm all for filling people up, but, shouldn't they be responsible enough to put the caloric and fat info on the menu?? I don't have to worry about it, because there's no way I could finish that anymore, plus I don't care for all my food wadded together like some leftover eating dogs dish, but, there are fools out there who are going to eat this every day and never know what it is. Hardees needs a good ass kicking and a shot of honesty in thier menu. Who the hell eats a 1,100 calorie salad??? Some poor sap thinks they're doing thier bod a favor by having a salad and never know it's a fat bomb. Am I crazy, or are they?

Britney is, like, really smart, y'all



First she gets the paps to fetch her fast food and her Fanta and pump her gas. Then she wants to know if any of them want to drive an hour back to Malibu for her to bring her dog, London (because she forgot the dog and an hour later realized she wasn't in the car). I pretty sure London can live without one more day at the gas station and McDonalds. Then she spouts off about her judge..
"I hate my judge," Spears declared. "He is so mean. Just an old fart. He told me I was being catty with him, but he was being catty with me and paid me no respect at all."
I'm assuming she'll get the same judge in her continuing custody battle, and I'm assuming he reads the blogs. Bitch has the brains of a chicken nugget. And why is she always walking around like a crippled crab?
Update: Britney Spears has had her visitation rights with her kids suspended until she complies with all court orders. Duur.

Worst charity promotion EVER


Heidi and Spencer eating tacos in some charity promo for world hunger. This is the lewdest, most tasteless charity promo in history. Wouldn't it have been better to show some hungry kids eating a decent meal? These two define self centered ignorant insulting bullshitski. You can bet they weren't there for free and donated nothing. They need to be taken off this planet. I hope someone put dogshit in those tacos.

Bree talks about Lindsay Lohan...


*“Riley went into rehab to get his life together and in the process meets Lindsay and ruins my life. I loved Riley and Lindsay stole him. I met her at a meeting while they were still patients at Cirque, and I just knew something was up.
“She came into the meeting with Riley, and she comes over and sits next to me, being overly nice. She was complimenting me on my hair and trying to be my friend. It didn’t seem sincere at all.
“A few days later, I get a text message from Riley telling me he wanted to ‘take a break.’ I knew instantly it was because of Lindsay.
“I’ve stuck by Riley through the good and the bad. We lived together for three years and planned on being together forever.
“But when he finally confessed to me that he had sex with Lindsay in one of the stairwells at Cirque — that was it, we were done.
“Lindsay has no morals and needs some serious help – besides drug rehab — for all her other problems.”*
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Oh, man, Lindsay seriously went and sat next to her at a meeting and was doing the old "I like your hair" thing??? That's just evil. On top of all that Bree later found out Riley had bought her an engagement rings made of..Cubic Zirconia! No one's a winner here.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Britney has a friend??

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Poontangs girl friend, Tuesday Knight, a jewelry designer, explains why Brit doesn't wear panties..

“I’ve said, ‘You cannot walk into a store wearing just a shirt with your underwear off.’ I’ve told her that no one will take her seriously when she does this.”

But, Poons answer is, she just doesn't like underwear. “Britney doesn’t need to do it and she knows it’s stupid,” says Tuesday. “But she says that she just doesn’t like to wear underwear.”

“Britney has always been a good mother,” she says. “I want people to know that she’s the better parent — not Kevin!” Tuesday adds, “Britney asked me, ‘Doesn’t anybody get to see this part of me?’ The answer is, no, they don’t. People just read about her not wearing underwear.”

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Yeah, whatever. There's Brit offering her straw to the paparazzi, no one knows why. She has pinkeye so she sucks on a straw and then offers it to other people. Nasty.

Cunty gift exchange..

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*In Closer, Natalie Portman plays foul-mouthed ALICE and admits once she got used to swearing, she loved it.
She says, "We were laughing about the dirty words we have to say. You blush at first, and then you get pretty liberal with them.
"At the start of shooting I gave Julia (Roberts) a necklace that said, 'Cunt' on it, then as a wrap gift she gave me one that said, 'LilCunt.''' *

See? I told you cunt was just a word. If Americas Sweethearts can use it, why can't I??

Lindsay Lohan..a force of nature

So, it's now out that The Blows current boy friend, Riley Giles, was engaged when he met Lindsay. Riley's fiancee, Bree Tierney, had to read it in the tabloids because he just blew her off once he got bitten by The Blow.

A friend of Bree's told UsWeekly, "Riley just stopped calling Bree and never told her about Lindsay. She found out by seeing photos. It destroyed her.”

Nice. So that's one marriage and one engagement Blow destroyed while in rehab this last time. Damn, she's good. Ehh, I'm just kidding, it's not her fault these guys are dogs. I just don't quite get how she's such a huge femme fatale, you know? I mean, she's just some B actress with freckles and extensions. What's her power?

In other news, she gave the paps the slip last night, and they're pretty sure she was clubbing at one of her fav haunts, but, they couldn't catch her. I gave her untill Thursday to hit the clubs, guess I should have said she wouldn't get caught until Thursday. Come on, Blow, we're waiting for some real drama.

Just call Kirsten Dunst "Stinky"

source
That's what all her friends call her. Stinky. She refuses to wash her hair, bathe, wear deodorant..because she thinks her natural body oder is good.
[Kirsten Dunst] smells! “Kirsten’s friends have nicknamed her ‘Stinky,’” says an insider. “She always has the worst body odor!”
Didn't we already know this just by looking at her? We don't need to be close enough to smell her. She refuses to fix her nasty teeth and always looks like she's dipped in grease. I don't even think there's a joke here, she's just yuky. Talented, yes...good smelling, highly doubtful. I had a friend like her in art school, she thought deodorants and bathing were things that were not natural. It was so foul that you could tell where she'd been even when she wasn't there. Ukkk, I can still smell it. Pew.

Brad doesn't like movie set romances...


Brad told Cosmo.."I always have and I always will be faithful. I don't like to see couples who have affairs on film sets..or anywhere. I operate on the belief that it catches up with you."
Ummm, WHAT??? Oh, man, Brad, shut up already and let us remember you in Legends Of The Fall before we knew too much.

A real Bloom-Hole


Orlando Bloom is being investigated by the LAPD for a possible hit and run after the accident where he left his female passengers bleeding in the street. He should be arrested for wearing that shirt, it looks like it should come with a pleat skirt romper. Serioulsy, don't you hate it when movie heroes turn out to be chicken dicks?

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Cwazee punkin' head

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I tried to tell her the history of the holiday, but, all she knows is..pumpkins kick monsters butts and candy is expected. Okay, I'm done for the day. Remember..if you don't have anything nice to say, you're probably in the right place. :)

Okay, liked her for a minute today...

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now over it.

Nicole Kidman, a parent with a brain


The actress says, "Bella had a phase of blue hair - luckily that only lasted for a little while. But we recently had a discussion at home about tattoos and I had to lay down some ground rules."
"My husband (Keith Urban) has tattoos, so obviously I don't mind them on principle. But I do think you have to be a certain age before you can choose to do something as permanent as that, and I don't think that age is 14 or 15. Call me old-fashioned, if you will."
Old fashioned? No. I call that smart. Too bad her kids are actually owned by Tom Cruise. Tattoos are the least of their problems.

The Donald pisses off some more people



Donald Trump:(talking to Larry King) "One of the perceptions I had of George Clooney was he was this big, strong guy. And he was very little when I met him."

He adds of Jolie, "Angelina Jolie is sort of amazing because everyone thinks she's like this great beauty. And I'm not saying she's an unattractive woman, but she's no beauty, by any stretch of the imagination.

"I really understand beauty. And I will tell you, she's not - I do own Miss Universe. I do own Miss USA. I mean I own a lot of different things. I do understand beauty, and she's not."


The list of things he owns is extensive, but, they do not include good hair or tact.

This is what living with Heather Mills will do to a guy

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Before Heather...

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After Heather.

Heather turned down Sir Pauls offer of 100 million because it came with a gag order. Man! She's such a slag!

Spa day for Madonna and Lourdes



Lourdes turned 11, so mom took her on a spa day at One Spa in Santa Monica. Lourdes is a cutie, she looks like her mom, back in the day.

Jake Gyllenhaal did Letterman


Did you see Jake on Letterman last night? He tried to pull off this "have you and amusing anecdote" thing and it was so fucking phoney it made me cringe. You could tell it was scripted for him and he'd rehearsed it and it was pathetic. Dave all but called him out on it, in his Dave way. If you have no life, just talk about your movie and leave. What a loser. In the closet phoney baloney loser.

Jennifer Aniston has waxing issues

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"She's neurotic about bikini waxes," reveals Dawn Daluise of Dawn DaLuise Skin Refinery in LA, who used to visit the "Friends" set every other week to work on the actress. "She'd even call when there was no hair to wax, and she'd insist on having it done - literally making me wax off peach fuzz. She's phobic about extraneous, stray hairs - especially around her bikini line. She'll even tweeze them."

Well, that's her business, but, I find it odd that someone would be so obsessed with their cootchie when there's never anyone around to see it.

Ellen DeGeneres losing it


There is a film clip on TMZ tody of Ellen breaking down in tears over that damn dog deal. Ellen and Portia adopted a dog from Mutts and Moms and the dog didn't work out for them. So Ellen gave the dog to her hairdresser for her little girl. That was a breach of the adoption contract and they came and took the dog away from the cying kid. Ellen is just losing it and broke down on camera sobbing.

Jeeez..here's the deal. Ellen broke the contract. Just have the hairdresser go adopt the damn dog herself. I agree, if you can't trust Ellen, you probably can't trust anyone, but, she can't just give the dog away because she's Ellen. This is such a stupid drama..I'm so sick of it. Stop crying over a dog who is perfectly fine and just do things the right way. It's not like you just found out your child is disabled or your mom just died, Ellen. It's a freekin' dog and it's your own fault.