The bug I've been fighting finally hit full force last night. I have never ever had that sort of a 'flu' before. It was extremely painful and I spent the night laying on the kitchen floor with my head on Lis's backpack, throwing up into a plastic bag. The back and stomach pain were beyond description. I look and feel like a mangy dog's butthole, but, I still managed to get Lis up, dressed, brushed, fed and to school, on time, with her extra reading list completed. I will also attend the social services 'family' meeting today, even if I have to bring a plastic puke bag with me. There is no way I am going to miss it and not find out what exactly is going on. It's in one hour. I am finding it difficult to even get dressed, but, I will be there.Her mother has joined a church and I'm sure she plans to bring that up. Will it effect the circumstances? As far as I know, she still can't pass the drug tests, yet she expects the children to be returned to her today. I don't think that will happen. But, what do I know? I know Jesus can't fix this situation and I tire of people using him. Surely, people will see through that nonsense. Won't they??
35 comments:
oh dear 'lord' (jack lord)....joining a church will make her a good mother???? i guess maybe since she's burned all her bridges she's looking for new people to play sympathy with and they'll feel bad for her without knowing the depth of her problems and sooner or later, no matter their christian intentions, those bridges will be burned too....
i'm sorry you have that bug....a couple friends have had it and it's horrible, lingering on and on....i had it for a bit but i didn't have it full force....i swear it's a government test for a biological weapon---who ever heard of the flu like this lasting several weeks?? very very different kind of flu than most people have ever had before...
i'm digressing, i'm sorry, not enough coffee yet....sending positive energy for your family meeting and that the kids remain where they are---in SAFE HOMES where they are taken care of, with no worries of emptying ashtrays, being late for school, etc.....((HUGS)) and i hope you feel better ASAP!!! plus update when you get back!!
It's over. Mother gets visits on wed. and thurs afternoon and Sunday after church until bedtime. Lis doesn't want to go to church, so no one is making her. Mother has had 2 negative drug tests so far. Court date in March to determine who gets full custody. If it's me, I must modify my home or move. I said I would agree to that.
Bad enough to have one of those terrible bugs going around, but to have it on a family meeting day? That's awful. You are amazingly strong to be able to get Lissa up and out the door on time like you did, Pat.
I hope that the powers that be are able to set aside the new church membership when looking at the situation. So many people use church membership to hide behind and validate their evil ways. Clearly she is using whatever church she belongs to, to try and mitigate her behavior and drug issues. As if she couldn't possibly belong to a church and be a bad mother at the same time. Sheesh. I hope they see straight through her.
My relative (I am being purposefully vague, here) who had issues, was a regular church attendee when much of the abuse/neglect was happening with her last three children. I know that she knew what was right and wrong. She just didn't care, or it was inconvenient for her to do the right thing. More fun doing the wrong thing.
I hope that Lissa's mom falls flat on her face, and that DHS, or whomever the agency is, has the balls and brains to take action and call a halt to the back and forth. How many times should someone be allowed to fail, when it impacts a child? Three times just recently, is already too many.
4 times, actually. She was in my custody the last time. Now it's in a court's hands. A judge will decide. (I heard he's a hard ass that hates duggie bums.)
Pat are you sure its a flu..... it is sounding like a gallbladder attack to me..... get checked please....
what do u mean by change your house or move?
how do they want you to modify your house?? i mean it's okay NOW for Lissa to be there....
i'm glad they are not making her go to church if she doesn't want to go.....is her visitation supervised?
If custody goes to me, the state requires her to have her own bedroom. I have agreed to provide that.
doesn't she use your bedroom?
well if you have to move, at least you get away from your motherthing.....
My gosh this goes on and on seems she is clearly not clean. Trying to hide behind a congregation doubt that will work for long. Even the blindly faithful one of them will see the lack of truth.
Sorry your sick. Sounds awful. Maybe it is your meds and government conspiracy? Get well!
I hope the judge is a real hard ass & has some common sense. moving or extending the house, either way it's a small price to pay to know she will be with you full time.
Sorry you are feeling so rotten. If it is the flu. I would have sat right next to (and real close to) the agent that gives you so much trouble. And I would have coughed a few times---right in her direction.
I know it's hard, but make sure you get enough liquids. Dehydration is a bitch!
Good luck. I'm sending good thoughts.
I hope you are feeling better. Your evening sounds awful...does everyone else wish they were dead when they have their head in the garbagebag/can like I do??? while you're waiting for the next round of urping to turn to barfing, all salty mouthed??
Sip on some ginger ale or tea and eat some crackers or bananas and applesauce or jello. Works for me.
Once you get custody, because it's going to happen, is that final? Or do you have to revisit the situation in a year?
You are a genuine Toughskin! Are these random drug tests? or does the mom have time to "prepare"? Sorry to sound so suspicious. When 2 cleans tests turn into 22 - then maybe some faith can be restored inthose who have been hurt.
I hope you feel better soon.
The answers are all..I don't know. I really hope she is better and does the right thing. But, after nearly a year of this, I'm not holding my breath.
Tia, I only have 2 large rooms and a loft (which I use for storage). I don't have a bedroom at all. But, if I get custody, I will fix it or move. Right now, she has her space in the living room. She has a canopied bed and dresser and toy box. It's a big room, so it's not awkward. But, the loft is a possibility.
I think I passed a kidney stone. There's the mystery of last night. I feel better.
Ew. You made me wince. I can't even imagine the pain of a kidney stone. Give me my migraines any day.
Oh mom, I reallly wish I lived in town. Let me know if you need me to come home to help out at all.
Renal colic is truly horrible. If that's what it was, you are one tough cookie for facing that at home, without meds.
I have not passed one myself, but my husband has, and I had to practically carry him to the car, weeping and wailing, and several men from the ER came running to carry him in. It took 15mg of Morphine to get the pain under control initially.
We see a fair number of pregnant women with stones, too. It is misery. I hope you feel better now, and can rest.
Don't know how you do it but, you do. Never had to pass a kidney stone but know that they rate *very* high on the pain chart... I hope you can now have a semi-full night of good sleep, without pain. You are one tough cookie -- not that I ever doubted that!
Will you have any help if you do need to move or remodel your house to gain full custody of Alissa? I'm sure you will, or at least, I hope you will.
I know that being back with her mother would be the "ideal situation" but I think we all know that she would thrive with you - have a safe, constant home with rules and expectations, love and nurturing and some levity that she probably desperately needs.
I think it's promising that they are not asking Lissa to attend church with her mother -- it shows that they DO take into account what the child wants.
Is your ex-DIL freaking out or is she understanding what situation you are all facing?
((Hugs))
are you offered any financial support at all for being lissa's carer? the loft sounds like a good plan. i'm sorry that forces around you are making your life so complicated.
No financial support at all for me. Her mother still recieves a state welfare check AND Lis's SSI from her deseased father. She has all along.
it's not right that she doesn't have custody and she keeps getting money for the kids....while keeps are not in their mother's custody, the money should be going to the caretakers....
but wait, that's common sense....
Pat with gibson board (I think that is what its called) you can make a division for a bedroom for Lis... its not as expensive as adding on a room or moving.
It's legalities. Welfare is only cut off for the mom if custody is removed by a judge. I am what's called the child's 'safety plan.' I get no money. It's been hard, but, I haven't asked for any. I just want my granddaughter.
Nads, thanks, sweetie, but, I think I can half wall the loft and have a real staircase built with safety railings and meet the state code. It could be super cute too. I already looked into borrowing the money for it.
And I have told none of you the worst of this situation. There are things I won't say on here. You have no idea how bad it really is.
i know you just want your granddaughter and want her safe; but it's just not right the mom keeps collecting monies when she doesn't have the children in her custody....i am sure gabe's grandparents and father just want him too....
At first, I just wanted to help in a hard spot. Now, I want custody. I also want Eric's SSI to go to Lis and not her mother. That money was Eric's, he'd never intend it to go the ex for her good times. (While we eat tuna helper.) Yes, it's wrong. Legal, but, wrong.
My relative gave her first child up to a cousin in another part of the family, and the second to an aunt in another part of the family. The oldest ended up going to another country, because they were able to send her to live with paternal grandparents. I don't think it ever altered the monetary arrangements, at all. I tried to follow the money trail and I let authorities know that the relatives here were continuing to pocket the money for a child that was in another country, and was told it was none of my concern. They didn't want to deal with it. I have little to no faith in our government.
I hope it all works out all, and that Allisa stays with you, Pat.
I have no money for a lawyer, so I am relying on the good sense of this judge to look at the facts. That's all I can do.
Sending positive thoughts your way. . .
Thanks. I believe in that.
Pat, if you get legal custody of Lis... look into the SSA website for being named the representative payee for her. There would be no way her mother should be getting that check if custody changes. Is there a county legal aid office around you?
http://www.ssa.gov/payee/
I don't think the words good sense or common sense can be used correctly in a sentence with the word government anymore!
Post a Comment