Surprise, your email box is fucked!

Okay, it was my own fault. I know better, but, I had a moment of late night spontaneous bad judgement. Here's the deal. I am a freak for those make up and scent samples you can get in the mail. I know people who have generously shared with me from their 'surprise' boxes and even full sized products. You have no idea how much it thrills me. I lead a boring life, I am not even much of a make-up wearer, except for my Dior Fireworks red lipstick, which I got unused at a yard sale.

I bought it just for the name and case. It's very cool in real life and it has a nice feel. But, I put it on. OMG, it looks bright red, like nothing I'd really wear, but, it's a lip stain thingy and it's awesome and not gaudy at all. I wear it nearly everyday. I'll be sad when it's gone, because I looked it up and there is no way I am ever paying $40 bucks for a lipstick. It made me laugh actually. I paid a dollar for it. I seriously love it though.

So back to the email..I get distracted. Sorry. Anyhow, I LOVE my bargain and sample cosmetics. I love them like people love Christmas. My heart actually skips a beat when I open samples or see them on a sale table. They're kind of a rare find here though. I really do live in the sticks. Soooo, one night when I was link skipping out of boredom, I came across this company that will, for a set price, send you a box of random crap quarterly. It wasn't Birch Box, it was something else..I can't remember now. I thought, I am getting that. I can't really afford it, but, I'll do without something else. I'll just get it. I never buy things for myself and I think you should sometimes. You know? No one likes martyrs. They aren't happy people. Fuck that shit, I'm getting it! You've all had that happen. I know you have.

So, I signed up for the box and gave them my info..and they fucked me. Two days later my email box was flooded with offers on discount cosmetics, designer scents, random boxes and contests and a HUGE assortment of dating sites, college loans, mortgage companies, erection medication..you name it. I'm getting it. I didn't even get the original box. I never got that far in the 'click this link' game. I only got far enough to get fucked on Yahoo mail. I have literally ruined my email. I can't keep sorting through the spam. At this point, I get hundreds and hundreds a day. I can't even keep sending the addys to spam because the same shitty companies have a million people with different addys working for them. It takes me forever to delete the spam box, even when I click the whole page at once. I can't even deal with my inbox anymore. I got over a thousand spams today..in my IN-box. I am not shitting you. Over a thousand. I didn't even know it would hold that much. I can't even find you guys in it.  I did find you Jane, I responded. Mary Mary, I found yours, loved it. I'll get back to you soon. Casey J, I found yours, couldn't get the pics..again. I hate Yahoo. I hope the spammers burn in hell. Who would actually do that for a living. Anyway, there's my bitching for the day. My email is ruined and I made an MSN account, I may have to change the addy on here and just leave Yahoo to rot. It's my own fault. I know better than to give my info without some research, but, I had a weak moment. Oh, and I did get a perfume sample in the mail..one. One fucking sample and it wasn't even one of those cute teeny bottles. It was a scratch and sniff. Jesus keerist on a crutch. What's am I supposed to do with that? It wasn't even a nice smell you could, like, stick in your underwear drawer. It was pewey. It smelled like a cat peed on the card. I'm laughing now, because it's sort of stupid funny. Here's some random stuff people have shared with me, that I LOVE.

Beth send me this little tub of Midnight Monarch. Holy moly, we loved it. It smelled like Nirvana (not the band) and the cream was unreal. We used it sparingly, but, it's gone now. I saved the cute container and I went to the website. I will be getting some more. If you haven't tried it, ohhhhh, do, if you get the chance. Lissa and I sit around the computer at night and watch videos or movies and we 'scent' ourselves. We love to get all dolled up while we watch..whatever we find. And it's all about scents. This one was our favorite, so far. Thanks, Beth...oh, also I LOVED the vegan mascara. It smells like berries and it never clumps. I love that stuff.

Mary Mary sent me Jafra Royal Jelly fancy face cream. She sent me a good size too. Holy wow, thank you, Mary. I can't tell you how thrilled I was with this. It's a GOOD product and I use it sparingly. I use it mostly around my eyes. Royal Jelly? Is it made by bees with tiny little honey bee hands? That's what I imagine. Like the wee bees made it just for me and their Queen approved it. It's freekin' awesome, is what it is.

So, those things made me very happy, thank you. And if you're just reading here for whatever reason..do not send me anything! I am not asking for things, do not want things. I just love when people do share and I try to share back, but, my sendings are random weirdness. So, I don't know if I'm a good sender. Sometimes I can't even think of anything worth sending and a thank you has to do. Then it never leaves my mind and I get neuritic about it. So, do not send me thangs..okay? But, do if you want to and I will try to also. Does that make sense? I hate posting about who's sending what. I always like to thank people on here, but, I've (until now) stopped doing it, because some people get the wrong idea. You know? Really..I want to know if you know what I mean. It's hard to explain.

Also, if you've had experience with surprise beauty boxes, I'd like to hear about it. Are there good ones who won't sell your info and spam you to death? What do they cost, who are they?