I love wait staff blogs, as you all know, I used to be a food server and a bartender for ages. I know all about the assholes..the campers, the check splitters, the ice cube counters, the hot tea ladies, the send it back three times fools..all of them. BUT, it goes two ways, buddy. I am the customer now and all I want is what I politely ordered, in a timely fashion. That's it. I hate wine. I say no thank you when you offer it to me. I don't give a shit how much it costs, it smells like vomit and dust in a bottle and I do not want it. So, save your wine steward in his monkey suit with that silly wine key around his neck and that useless white towel over his arm a trip and tell him to leave me alone. I want a coke. I ordered a coke, there is no need to roll your eyes at me. I saw that.*
I also will not be ordering a cocktail. I understand that you want to pad the bill, it reflects your tip percentage, but, when I say "no thank you", I mean it. You should be glad I'm not running you around for whatever mulled and blended concoction is on the drink menu and just get me a coke. I will, however, tip you like I did have cocktails or wine, because I understand where you're coming from. I will not reflect this imaginary purchase on my tip if you're an asshole about what I did not order. And you know you can be.
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I like my steak medium well. That's the way I ordered it and it is not a reflection of my lack of culture. I happen to like steak sauce too. If you made a cocktail that tasted like Heinz 57 I might actually order from the drink menu. So, again, stop with the sighs and eye rolls. It is not your business how I order my steak.
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I might even order fettuccine alfredo. Shocking, isn't it? I don't make it at home and sometimes I like it. I don't give a fuck if your restaurant is famous for broiled Mediterranean squid in organic current and raisin sauce, I don't want it today and if that makes me unadventurous..so be it. Besides, you'd be surprised how many people can fuck up afredo sauce. Yeah, I know it's basically melted cheese, I don't care. Sometimes I'm with someone who desperatly wanted your broiled Mediterranean squid with organic currents and rasins..that's why I'm here. Eating fettuccini alfredo. So go whine about it to the other servers and just bring me my coke for now. K? Don't be an asshole. I can do math in my head...I promise.
31 comments:
Hey, DD!
So tell us - how was your lunch?!
Heh - finally, someone who hates wine as much as I do. Tastes like vinegar to me. No amount swirling or sniffing the bouquet is going to improve it for me.
And wouldn't you think in this day of so many alcoholics in society that a bartender would be one of the last people to be rolling eyeballs at a turndown of alcohol?
Sounds like this particular server was having some bad PMS.
LOL @fucking up alfredo sauce! It's butter, cream, an egg yolk and fresh grated par cheese. You have to eat it immediately befor it goes all lumpy and gluey on ya. And it's shit if you try to reheat it. Personally, I don't eat out much. I save the tip for myself.
I hear you Sister! I don't like wine either. Red wine smells like my mother. She used to always have a big green gallon jug of it in the cupboard when I was a kid. Right next to the Alpha-bits. White wine is just as bad IMO, only it doesn't smell as bad.
Last Fall we went to Las Vegas and there is a place there that has a steak and eggs dinner at night for $5.99. It came with fries so the woman looking after us brought ketchup. The bottle said "Catsup". Coming from Canada my partner had never heard of "catsup" and did not believe me when I told him it was the same thing as ketchup. So we asked for some mayo instead. We usually have mayo with our fries anyway. Our waitress had been really friendly and chatty until that point. After our mayo request she turned on us like an old cheese...slamming things down, giving sharp yes and no responses. We had not discussed the ketchup/catsup confussion in front of her. We were nice.
Soooo simple, Fettucini I mean! 16 ounces of heavy cream, 4 tablespoons of butter unsalted. put in pan bring to a small bubble boil turn down heat, add salt to taste lots of fresh pepper. stir, stir stir, like for 10 -1 5 minutes till thick. when you get it thick add your pasta and parmesan fresh grated of course and there you have it! SOOOO EASY!!! AND YUMMY!!!! BIMA
Mable leaf who knows she probably saw
our multicoloured money and had a lil stress.
Who cares what we order in a fancy place
if the establishment is worth it's salt they will
never make a patron feel unwelcome ! Shame !
You deserve kudos maintaining your composure
DD dont think about it take it from me the best
part of that meal was the company you enjoyed
it with. Many real people would rather have a
burger with an olde friend then the finest
filet mignon with company they despised.
Live your life for your purpose and fullfillment
it's the only one life & it's our duty to enjoy it. Kiki :)
I don't like wine much, either, but the mark up on it is around 250% and servers are "highly encouraged" (in trouble) if they don't sell a certain percentage of wine each shift. Too many weeks of not selling enough of it and their job is in jeopardy.
And I'm in *agreeance* with you Pat. The hot tea ladies made my eyes roll right out of the sockets each and every time.
I shall speak up for the wine lovers ... (raising hand) I like it ... only the dry stuff though. It is practically the only alcoholic beverage I enjoy. It is an acquired taste. Now the so called "sweet" stuff to me is just cheap grape juice(non Welch's) gone bad.
Been a server for a while too getting through college and made good money at it. I'll tell you what I hate most about restaurant staffing these days: Most of the servers seem to be 18 - early 20-ish. Older servers seem to be a lost commodity. So, how does an 18 year old recommend a fine wine other than strawberry Arbor Mist?
Exactly. I'm just shit tired of being treated like shit by food servers because I don't drink and like my steak MW. Eat me. You are not god or even Emily Post.
I like wine! I like my occasional cocktail as well. But I drink it at home. I can't afford a $9 coctail. In NYC, I actually paid $11 for a drink called "Top Gun"...gawd! I sipped it all evening! haha...ok but now about alfredo! Soooo easy:
This is the recipe for Olive Gardens Fettucine Alfredo: I know it by heart.
1 stick of butter(NOT tub margarine!), melt in a saucepan with 1-8 oz pkg of cream cheese(cut up)& 1/2 cup or more of milk. This depends on how thick you like it. Let this all melt together and blend. Low to med heat, thick bottomed sauce pan. Keep stirring, this can turn dark on the bottom if you aren't careful. You don't want those little brown burn things scraped up from the bottom & floating in your sauce. When this is done, remove from heat and add 1/3-1/2 cup grated parmeson cheese & stir till blended. Yum! I usually have broiled chopped chicken breast in my sauce & add steamed broccoli to the meal. It's wonderful. Don't have it very often, it's so very fattening and bad for your arteries. But so delicious! I hope some of you will make this easy sauce & tell me how it was. Serve this over fettucini. & don't forget the garlic bread or Texas Toast!
rox
And 20% from me is a low tip. You get that when you're an asshole.
I don't give a fuck how you make alfredo. I hate cooking, that's why I occasionally order it. I'm sick of waiters who think they're food gods.
sorry :(
Just wanted to share that. Buy it in the jar! thats easy & it's not bad. No cooking involved, just heat & eat.
rox
I think they were just giving you their recipes because you said you liked it :/
And I hate wine. And rude servers.
I agree Alfredo turns into glue if not eaten first. I have made it myself and bought the jar brands. If I buy it, I add some more ingredients to make it taste less jar-like. I also make blush sauce or vodka or buy that also. That is pretty good.
I don't drink anything in restaurants. Most of them charge about $3.00 for a class of soda so I just order water. I hardly drink it anyway. My husband goes thru about 2 sodas at each meal though.
I hate it when I go into a restaurant which I have driven to, have a couple of kids with me, and the waiter asks if I would like a cocktail. Sure dude, then I will get back in my car and drive myself to an early grave! Isn't that a liability for restaurants these days?
fine whatever, no more recipes for you, grump!!! bima
Raelynn, You make a good point about being offered alcohol when you have kids with you. I have always wondered why Chuck E Cheese serves beer and wine. Kids can spend the whole day running around having fun while the parents soak it up in the lounge. Then it's "ok kids...everybody into the car, *hic* it's time to go home".
Rox...your alfredo recipe looks great! I have some shrimp in the freezer to use up. I will try your recipe on the weekend.
OH yummy! Shrimp will be great in that! My daughter actually was just at Olive Garden and ordered shrimp alfredo and loved it. Yours will be good too. I make a mean shrimp skampi. 3 ingredients! But I won't leave it on here. Don't wanna piss off anybody. Enjoy Mable!
rox
PS: THATS why Chuck E. Cheese is always on the late news! LOL!!!
LOL. I am grumpy. Snotty waiters do that to me.
We have to up-sell or we get written up. Today we got a customer who told us off for it. Well, just say "that's everything, thank you" at the speaker box and you won't be bothered. Easy. I had a guy throw his fake cappucino (we sell fake ones, sadly, we're not Starbucks) because it wasn't filled to the top. If the lofty customer knew anything about capps he would know they're one third foam. Foam that disintegrates in the cup while he waits in line in the drive through to pick up his order. If you want filled to the top capp, get off your ass and come in the store and get it fully foamed and rounded over the cup like he seems to think he's entitled.
Hate Alfredo, love wine. Currently a bottle of Wolf Blass Shiraz Cabernet and a straw makes me happy. Like most here, I can make most anything on the menu better than the restaurant can so I stay at home, not that I mind slumming, there's a hole in the wall fish and chip place near here I love and I eat my fries with salt and vinegar or mayo if I want a change. No catsup or ketchup for me.
I don't drink, so I can relate to the looks, especially when we go out to a nice place. As for how I like my meat cooked, its always well-done. I will send it back if I cut into it and it 1-bleeds, 2-is really pink, or 3-mooos at me. LOL
Having a degree in microbiology, I know what "critters" can be hiding in undercooked meat. Since college, I am a well done person, and my kids are too. Now that my boys are getting a little older, I let them choose their "doneness". But I will always and forever order well done. All the eye rolls dont bother me. I am the one paying and eating not them. They can order it how they like, I have the same right.
As for a tip, helpful people get 20+ percent. Crap service is 10-15% depending on how crappy. There was only one time in my life that I left no tip. It was at a TGIFridays. My utensils were filthy, and they brought my lemonade with a fly or some bug thing in it. When I pointed out the fork with food stuck between the tines and then the bug when she brought my drink, which I sipped before I even saw the bug as it was on the other side of the glass from me, she acted like I asked her to sell her car and shave her head bald, you know the expression, wide gapped mouth like you want me to do what???? for you?? I called for the manager, explained the situation, and he offered to comp my appetizer and drink, and I told him I didnt trust my waitress and I wasnt going to be eating my entree. I left, and have never gone back to ANY TGIFridays because of it. Total yuck. I feel like puking just thinking about it again.
On the up side, when we get outstanding service, like an upscale French place I took the kids, the tip is built into the check at 20%. I went ahead and added an additional $50 to our check because of the AMAZING service we received, how all the staff was kind and helpful and attentive to my children and myself, and how they were the perfect ending to a special celebration day.
I dont want my steak to moo but it has to leak a bit to satisfy me.
Pat, Hubs and I do not drink either. We will usually order a couple ginger ales.
I dont really care what the waitstaff thinks of what I order. I tip them well and they always remember that.
I used to be able to drink stronger and bigger men under the table but those days are gone.
Not saying I wont have a cocktail once in awhile but I just do not like wine. And I had an Italian mother who always had some red wine on the table.
Rox-
I really want the shrimp scampii recipe-please.
My husband likes his meat cooked through. Cooks always fuck it up. It seems like they think they ruin the steak by cooking it, and that god forbid some of us like it done, and they think they do us a favor by not cooking it. I don't mind a little pink, but if I'm asking for something and I'm asking for it nicely and I'm paying for it then that's what I expect. We usually don't return food to the kitchen, it's not worth the trouble. They will throw the meat in the microwave and the rest of the food will be cold, and you're left waiting for another half hour.
Sometimes makes me wonder if they take advantage of costumers that way. It's a total turnoff and they lose our business. Too bad cause we ARE 50% tippers. We NEVER leave less than a $20 when the bill is $35+ when we go out to eat. The only two places where we trust our meat to be done perfectly without the snotty eyerolling are The Keg Steakhouse in Lakewood and Troiani's downtown Seattle. But both are 1-1.5 hours away! Talk about stellar service and outstanding food! We don't go to franchised restaurants that often (Applebee's, Olive Garden, etc..), with the exception of Red Robin, cause they will ALWAYS fuck up something. The local Red Robin has great service and they are very thoughtful with the food.
Oh and I HATE alfredo, but what I hate the most, is alfredo sauce as pizza base. YUCK!
That fettucine alfredo sounds really good rox, I think I'll surprise hubby with it his birthday is in a few & he loves anything with pasta, thanks for posting it. :)
DD just ignore the nasty server or speak to the manager when you get home or the very next day, I've found that they're usually too busy & run off their feet when we're there so we call later. That's what we do, if we have a good server we tip extremely well & then we call in & praise the heck out of them. If we have a bad one, we call in & let them know. We make our complaint, get it off our chest, hang up & close the door on that one. Some of them do realize that word of mouth, especially with the Internet is important.
We just had to get another car, last one died completely, I'd pay to see that one blown up, the financier at the company really went all out for us, so we called & emailed letting them know what a great job he did & how happy we are.
Damn Snotty Server. Service, you would think it was rocket science.
Nancy B! I almost didn't check back on here. I'm glad I did.
OK: Here it is:
Shrimp Skampi:
1 ½ -2 pounds shrimp-thawed, butterflied, washed & dried, refrigerate 1 hour
½ cup white wine
1 stick butter-not margarine
2 cloves garlic minced or 2 TBLs dried minced garlic
Bread crumbs for topping
In a saucepan or small skillet reduce the wine to ½, add garlic & butter & cook till garlic is soft/clear.
Arrange shrimp in glass 13x9 baking dish, 1 layer deep.
Pour butter, wine & garlic mixture over shrimp in baking dish. Bake at 350 till liquid is boiling thru-out
Pull out of oven & sprinkle with bread crumbs. Place back in oven with broiler till brown on top.
Serve alone or over angel hair or linguine pasta. I also sprinkle some dried parsley falkes on this, it gives it color. This really does only have 3 main ingred. I forgot about the bred crumbs! It's requested at my house often. But it's not cheap to make. So, it's a special treat. Thank you for asking!! Enjoy! This is very E-Z!!!
rox
I like wine sometimes (when not preg) but I know nothing about it and could care less to learn. I like red with chicken and white with beef and DONT CARE. I pick bottles by how pretty or funky or fun the label is and not by the price or brand.
Also, I like my steak SWIMMING in steak sauce. Actually, just give me A1 and a straw, forget the beef.
This just reminded me of one of my favorite cravings last pregnancy - steak WITH alfredo pasta.
My husband's restaurant does a lobster and shrimp pasta with a brandy cream sauce. I used to order a filet (bfly MW) with the pasta just noodles and sauce (no seafood) ...oooohhh sooo good together. Thank God I had someone on 'the inside' because if I was just a guest that would cost almost $50.
Hmm... I might have to start craving that again.
Frimmy, I totally know what you mean. When I worked at McDonalds we were always pressured to up sell, EVEN if the customer said "That's it" or whatever. So, when we asked if they would like to try blah blah blah, they would often get pissed off. I would try to explain this to our bitch face fat ass operations manager but her stupid fake grin just could not understand. We once had someone throw a tea because there wasn't enough ice. It had been filled to the absolute BRIM with ice... Assholes. . .
I may be hunted down but if I get crappy service, there will be no tip. I know that sounds horrible but I have run into some terrible service. One of the absolute worst was at Macaroni Grill. It was a nightmare and I am convinced it was because my husband and I are a mixed couple. There was no other reason and the diners around us weren't treated like we were. I did complain to the manager and was given a $50 gift certificate. On our return trip, the service was excellent.
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