Soap star names his kid Peanut

I don't know who this idiot is, but, my mom probably does because he's on General Hospital. Ingo Rademacher and his fiance (wtf is with people being engaged, then having a baby?) had a baby boy recently..they named the poor little kid Peanut. Not even joking, Peanut Kai. How can someone do that to their child?? Suggested names for future Rademacher children..Asshole, Raisin, Jerkwad, Douche, Prune, Goober, Fucked. Just go with Fucked.

Brit..more crazy

The story is that Britney didn't stay long at Jamie Lynn's bedside after the birth of her new daughter because she (Brit) had a mini breakdown. She was distraught because Jamie Lynn gave birth to the daughter she always wanted and realized how messed up her life is and went bonkers. Her dad found her in a bathroom, hysterical, naked screaming "It's not fair, Dad, It's not fair." He helped her through it and called a doctor for her. They tried to keep it all hush hush, but, too many people saw it.

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You think this story is true? I kind think it's true. She's not well yet.

Justin Long takes a long step down

Rumor has it Justin Long dumped Drew Barrymore because she drinks too much. I don't know if that's true, but, it is true that he started up with Kiki Dunst. Really, dude..a chick who's allergic to soap and water, could wring out her hair and fry hamburgers in the oil, smokes weed all day long, wears clothes out of a dumpster and has never brushed her teeth or seen a dentist? That's better than a hot drunk? Kiki likes him so much she's vowed to take a bath once a year. Man, that's a step down. He's so far down now, I won't even bother hunting up a picture of him. Watch out for the snag toof, Justin..it will cut your lip.

Lohans still exist

I'm not sure what's going on here. Dina and Michael Jr. at some event, he might have spilled her drink or peed himself, but, she looks toasted and about this >< close to forgetting who he is and grabbing his pecker. Michael is "the man" of the family since their dad is a dog. Which means he comes home once a month, does his laundry and dispenses advice on camera to young Kody. Sage wisdom like "it'll work out, dude." That's a good photo of him though, other than the wet pants..he's really not a handsome guy. Not yet anyway. He's all zits and hair and attitude. Someday he may get manly, maybe Ronson can give him some lessons.

TimberTard peed his pants

Timberlake says, "When I was young... I wanted to be Michael Jordan. It was weird, I heard (Gary Wright song) Dreamweaver in my head when he walked in the room. "He was like, `Hey man, my kids and I, we're big fans of your music,' and I was like, `That's cool...' Up until the point where he walked away and I realized I had peed a little."

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Hmm, he didn't pee himself over Madonna or Brit, but wet his pantaloons over Michael Jordan? That's bringing sexy back. I'd like to raise enough money to see Jordan grab TimberTards ass. He'd poop his plaid golf slacks, which would be even more entertaining. Jessica Beil needs to read this story. Dreamweaver, jebus!

Khloe's out of jail

Khloe Kardasian is out of jail already. Done and done. Most of us have had periods that lasted longer than her incarceration for DUI and probation violation. It's not her fault, it's the fault of the judicial system. Party on Khloe! Total time spent in jail..173 minutes. Now she can write a book about her ordeal. Too bad Kourtney won't be able to read it. Maybe it'll have pictures.

PoonDaddy keeps the kids

In an anticlimactic end to the child custody battle, which is almost older than the kids, K-Fed keeps the boys, Brit gets visitation which may increase. Let's devote and entire website to this shit no one cares about anymore. Oh, wait, there are already 5 million of them. She really needs to shave her head again.*
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I forgot..her twice weekly visits with the kids are still monitored. Madonna might trust her, K-Fed and a judge, not so much.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha HA!

Fame is fleeting, Violet. Your time is almost up. (flips the hourglass and cackles.)

Something smells in Denise land

Richards has decided to drag out her custody hearing with Charlie Sheen again (is it sweeps week?) and prevent him from seeing the girls due to "serious issues." She even filed an emergency protective order.

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Unless Charlie's house is covered to the roof with human excrement and there's naked circus people passing out crack and butt plugs..I can't imagine how it's worse than living with Denise Richards. 3 pigs roaming around, laying on the furniture, screwing and crapping goo all over and over a dozen dogs, NONE of whom are house broken (her dad said that!)..and you always see them pooping or peeing on her floor. Her children eat chicken nuggets while pig poop lays behind their chairs. If her dad didn't cook, the kids would never get fed. She's a piss poor mom, a shitty housekeeper, a bad pet owner, a messer up upper and sad decorator who doesn't deserve the multi million dollar house she turned into a smelly stinky shit hole and she showed us all that herself. Charlie should show the judge her reality show.

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Oh, and I forgot..her neighbors have filed to get her mess out of their neighborhood. They say it smells and the noise level is absurd. I don't have smell-a-vision, but, you can tell it's not a house you'd want to be in, let alone eat in. The bitch is gross.

Pregnancy screws up your feet?

Yeah, it probably does, I'm not surprised. Not surprised to hear Jen Garner is knocked up either. When your little pap magnet gets too big for the ohhhhh and awwws, you replace it. Her Alias costar, Victor Garner let it slip saying "yes, she is." Then he realized he'd put his pie hole in gear before he warmed up his brain cell and tried to backtrack. Too late, buddy, and we already knew it anyhow. Jen is about 5 months along.

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I know a lot of you love her, sorry, but, I don't. If you don't want you kids photo taken 400 times a day, move somewhere else and be private. Plenty of celebs do it. She makes my ass tired and so does that kid of hers (though it's not the poor kids fault). Now she'll have two or three to shove in the paps faces all day long. Everyone has to have a hobby I guess. Ben Allfeck is "over the moon. That has nothing to do with the new baby...he's just been sent there by the public with no return ticket.

There's nothing wrong at the Playboy mansion

The girls next door continue to tell us nothing is wrong and they love each other, yet Holly and Bridget keep doing PR engagements without Kendra. They say Kendra is "busy". Busy doing what? It's not like she has a job. Bridget is going along with Holly so she doesn't rock her mega boat. She knows where her bread is buttered, she loves her "pee in the pants" Porche, free rent and pet psychics. Holly is so threatened by Kendra it's pathetic. Watching the show, it's clear Hef is amused by Kendra, it doesn't matter if he's not sleeping with her anymore (if he ever did, who'd know?)..Hef puts up with her chronic lateness, her rudeness, her imbicile talk, her lack of social skills and sophistication because she makes him laugh. Holly makes no one laugh. Bridget is aging window dressing with a calm personality that's relaxing. Holly may be out on her butt before Kenrda even figures out where the door is.

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There's an orb over Kendras head. Just the masses of flashbulbs, you say? I prefer to think it's the ghost of all Holly's big ass dreams.