Goth Friday

There is a new child living in my house. Where there was once a little girl who's favorite color was pink and who loooooooooooved Justin Beaver, there is now a Goth. Who wears nothing, but, black and who thinks everything is stupid. She came home last week and announced it to me in that tone she uses when I am obviously stupid and she needs to explain everything to me.  I looked up and said, cyber goth, techno goth, Lolita goth, Victoriana goth, fetish goth, Edwardian goth, punk goth, anime goth or steampunk goth? Her mouth dropped open and she said, will you help me? I said, if you want to be goth, you will be the best damn goth you can be. Of course I will help you. And I did.

Over the course of my goth fashion research, I found out goth is not fashion so much as a state of mind and it turns out, I'm goth too. I just don't wear much black. But, youth needs fashion, the blacker the better. Though, army green, dark purple and blood red accents are acceptable. Goth fashion is awesome from a money perspective..you can make almost all of it from used store finds. We've made birdskull neck pieces from poly clay and found studded black dog collars at dollar general. A pair of thigh high black fishnets became fingerless goth gloves and sleeve pieces. The Halloween boxes in storage have been raided. Nice purple spiderweb materials and tiny skulls for buttons. I must say, I am loving this goth phase. Oh, and we made black and purple lipstick from crayons and oil. Instructions on You Tube.

But, now the inner workings of the dark child must be addressed. For it is THAT time again. Time for her mother to fuck up and as you know, her mother's fuck ups are epic. Last night it involved a fight with her faux boy friend, some illegal and legal drugs, life threats, an ambulance, a fight with a paramedic and an attempt to bite off his finger, an escape, a minor car accident and another ambulance ride to a hospital where she will be treated and evaluated. I got a call from DHS social workers who told me that she is not allowed to take 'the child' anywhere now. 'The child' will stay here pending more treatment and court decisions. What's new?

I had to explain it to Lissa and I tried to be gentle, but, truthful. I left out the part where her mother threatened to end her own life. Because, firstly, Lis doesn't need to hear that and secondly, I don't believe it anymore. I told her there was a fight, drugs were involved and a minor car accident and her mom is in the hospital, but, she is not badly hurt and she will be fine. Lissa stomped her goth ass upstairs, screaming and crying about how her life sucks and her mom sucks. I let her carry on for awhile, because I agree with her. But, finally, I said, let's go get McDonalds. She screamed, we can't because we're POOR! I said, yeah, but, I have enough for the dollar menu and milk shakes. She dried her eyes and came down. On the way to eat, I told her she has the suckiest life of any kid I know and now she has a good reason to rebel. She wanted to know what 'rebel' meant. I explained it. So, she goes, 'Oh, yeah, Imna rebel for real. I AM GOTH!' I said, 'Honey, you sure are.' She said she was going to write a punk goth song called 'My Mom SUX!' Okay then. Maybe a play. Or a movie starring Kristen Stewart.


By the time we ate, she was feeling better and even had a sense of humor back. I mean, this isn't her first time at this rodeo. She lamented the fact that the meetings and therapy would start all over again when her mother promised her she was done with that. But, I said, sure, but, just think how much you can freak them all out now with your black eye shadow and nail polish and all black clothes. She cackled. Then she said, 'Grandma, will you try to heal the emptiness inside me by buying me things?' Oh, you know I will. The used store is having a sale on formal ball gowns. Five bucks each! "Can I have one??? A black one???" Sweetie, you can have two! And heels and worn high tops that match.

'I'll be alright, won't I Grandma?' Oh, yeah, you'll be just fine. Just fine, my little Goth. One must find the gentle soul that lives deep in the dark heart...and stomp the shit out of it. That way it can't fuck with you anymore. And you're going to look righteous in that black ball gown. I have skull and bat buttons I can sew all down the back.