New York women draw their own boobs

Women were asked to draw their own breasts and add little notes. I like this one, I feel the same way. Wouldn't that be cool. Go HERE to see the slide show, it's interesting. I think I'll go draw mine and add them. Would you be game to try it?

Smoke and fire..a complete list of women (so far) who have been sexually assaulted by one Bill Cosby

HERE is the list. Janice Dickinson is on it. I believe every one of these women. That guy always gave me the creeps so bad I would never eat pudding pops nor will I let Lis watch reruns of his crappy show. He's a creep.

A lovely note from school

I don't know if  you can read that even if you click it, you might be able to. Anyhow, it says, our elementary school is infested with head lice. Please check your child at least once a week and tell the dumb kids how lice are spread. Oh and don't bother keeping them home just because they have bugs crawling in their heads. Go to some website and they will tell you some lies about it.

Yeah, that's about right. Whatever. You got a kid, you're gonna have head lice someday. Period. Now, this outbreak is so bad that Lissa tells me they are issuing black garbage bags every morning to all the students. They take off all their outerwear, coats, hats, scarves, mittens and shove them in the bags and into their lockers. They also cover the backs of their chairs with the garbage bags. But, they still go to school if they have them. They are required to.

Sorry, but, I think the whole panic is pretty funny, considering our history with head lice. Lis has red hair. Everyone knows lice love red hair. She also has oily scalp which means she has to wash her hair every night and she likes washing it in the morning and at night. This more for styling and straightening purposes than hygiene, but, whatever. She always gets fucking head lice. I'm so on the look out for them now, that I catch hers before she can get more than a couple. I used to be grossed out by them, now I've become immune. I look at it as a hobby, like fishing. They don't even bother me. Washing all the bedding is much more annoying, 'specially when I'm a line dryer. But, oh well.

So, here's the story, last time she got exposed to head lice was when cousin Autumn was staying here.  Autumn lives in Carter Lake, so she was visiting for a couple of days, she had a school break. Autumn and Lis slept in the same bed, used the same hair brushes (I'm sure) and wore each others hats. Autumn goes home to her mom and her mom called her step mom and tells her Autumn is LOADED with head lice. Step mom panics and comes over here apologizing and all upset. I said, hey, calm down, it's no biggie. I checked Lis and by some miracle, they has skipped her skanky little head for once. Not one lice. I washed all the bedding, just in case and forgot about it.

But, Darling Cousin Joey, who you all know is mad as hell at me, takes it upon himself to go to all, ALL, the relatives and neighbors and tell them Lissa has head lice, in fact, she's loaded with them and spreading them all over. Poor Autumn was a victim. Poor little Autumn. (Umm, maybe HE could watch her next time.) AND it's all because I am so dirty, filthy and never clean and we live like animals over here. Gossip. It always comes back to you, most of the informed told him about head lice and how all kids get them, but, not being a parent himself, Joey took it upon himself to start sending out notes and making phone calls to, it seems like, the whole town. Probably Social Services too. One neighbor told me he was flat crazy and I said, that seems to be the general consensus. But, then again, we live like filthy animals, so what do I know? Oh, except that Joey has now had all his utilities shut off, so I'm wondering how he flushes his toilet? But, I don't lose sleep over it. I am going to make a copy of this school note and leave it in his mailbox. I wouldn't say I'm mad, but, annoyed wouldn't be too far off.

PS, Still no head lice here. I'll bet it's because her step grandma bought us this awesome shampoo that's supposed to repel them before you even get them.

   Here is is. This stuff seems to work. The stuff you use to get rid of the bastards after you get them does NOT work. But, this seems to be good. So far, so good. You can use your reg shampoo after this, if you don't like the smell. 

BTW, I spent the last three days cleaning this dump and doing 5 loads of laundry while it wasn't snowing. Lis came home, looked around and said, why is this place so fancy? I said, because I picked up your shit and vacuumed. Fancy!                                                                                        

Anti Barbie doll on sale soon

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The anti Barbie is called 'Lammily', she's based on research that claims the average teen girl is 5'4" and 150 pounds. Woe to the assholes who buy supermodel dolls for their children, setting them up for body dysmorphic disorders, anorexia, bullemia and eventual suicide. To which I say, YAWN. This again?
I loved Barbie, still do. I had no illusions about becoming 6' tall. Besides we already had a more realistic version, clear back when I was a child. Her name was Tammy and I loved her too.

She was so cute and had a face like an angel, or Sandra Dee, however you looked at it. The problem was, she didn't fit in Barbie's clothes and Tammy clothes were just not available. So, unless you had a mom who sewed, you were screwed with the Tammy wardrobe. Barbie just had better things. She has sports cars, hot dog stands, a boyfriend, etc. Tammy had a family, but, that's about it. So, Tammy by Ideal, bit the dust and Barbie reigned Queen. To this day. So, unless this new doll designer can get funding to produce Lammily's lifestyle, he can call it quits now. BTW, I still have copies of all my dolls. (I actually never owned them, but, my cousin did and she loaned them to me sometimes.)Tammy is one of my prize possessions along with her little sis, Pepper. The bitches still don't have any clothes.

There's Pepper. My Pepper is a redhead, but, they all have freckles. OMG, they were so cute and well made too. Ideal is a great doll company. They just didn't anticipate our greed for Mattel's accessories.

Socks and jammies, do do

Rob Kardashian and his sock line, Arthur George, now has loungewear for men. Yes, yummy, hot one piece pee pee jammies for grown men. This aint new. My boyfriend Harry used to wear this stuff. I never knew where  he bought it, but, when my girl friends would show up at the house, he'd come out, straddle legged in hims footed jams rubbing his eyes. It was supposed to be cute. Then he'd turn around and in the back pocket he always kept a copy of JD Salinjer or Orson Wells peeking out, so they could see that even though he was adorable, he was also an intelligent adult worried about social issues. Neither here nor there, it just reminded me of Rob the lessor Kardashian and his wild hunt for relevancy amongst the ho K clan. Rob has Momanger Kris peeking out of his ample back pocket screaming 'sign the contract'.

Doesn't the name Arthur George remind anyone else of Dudley Moore and JFK jr? Two hot smart talented men who should still be alive, yet we have a Kardashian and his socks. Blessed are those who don't know shit. I hope Robbie makes extra extra large jam jams now because he should. And no, don't even ask me if I have sympathy for him, no, I do not. He treats women horribly. You reap what you sow. He reaps socks.

It takes a genius, doesn't it?

Lady Gaga's new tat

I've seen Gaga's new 'Mother Monster' tat made fun of on every gossip site. My reaction was, yeah, it's ugly, but, how can you put down someone who gets a tat that has meaning to them? There are far, far too many Butterflies and Roses and tramp stamps in this world. She is Mother to her Monsters and that means something to her and to them. Fuck all tattoos that mean nothing. Fuck tattoos in a language you can't even speak. Fuck pretty. Fuck them all, unless they have meaning.

Talullah shaved her head

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Tallulah Willis shaved her head to make some point about beauty and body image. She also took part in that film series where they sit on a stool and strip while talking about how hard their life has been based on the perceptions of others. I'm sure there's more to it than that, but, I am bored of seeing it. I have seen several now and learned nothing. It's a 'bla bla bla' to me. I obviously don't get it. It's a Katie Couric thing and I could write pages on how Katie Couric sees herself and wants to see herself. That woman is so transparent. And, no, I don't like her. Never did.

As for these young women like Tallulah, I find it hard to have empathy when they've led such privileged lives. THAT is my problem. I should have more empathy for any woman in pain, yet I think, oh, shut up and get out of the spotlight. She could do anything with her life, be anything, go anywhere, be educated anywhere she chooses. Yet, this is what she wants to say? Meanwhile, her sister Rumer finally got that chin shaved down so that her facial features match her awesome body. Because being blessed with an awesome bod wasn't enough. Yet, those physical things about us that please us, are what most of us have to concentrate on and be happy for. While ignoring the other things. I guess I'm just tired of rich women telling us that we don't have to try and equal some photoshopped image in a fashion magazine. Really? Past the age of 13, don't you already know that? Seems to me, you should. If you don't, then there's something seriously wrong with your head and shaving it won't help. It's just common sense.

Cuban couple keeps Hutia's as pets

I'm not surprised by THIS story at all. They're big, but, cute, they look like giant Rats. And Rats are cute, smart and make good pets. But, the Hutia is native to Cuba, which gives a bit of a twist on the so called odd story. The first Hutia the couple got was found 'languishing by the side of the road'. They don't say if it was full grown. See? That makes a difference to me. I love pet Rats, but, I admit the wild Rats we have here in Iowa make me nervous. They are smart and mean. And nearly everyone here has seen one in their house at one time or another. (It's Iowa, it's farmland, don't judge. Though I may be filthy and a bad housekeeper, who cares?) Wild Rats are destructive, hard to catch and destroy and they're a bit scary. So, would a Hutia be the same way? Beats me. I looked them up and it says they're primarily vegetarian. Primarily being the key word. Yeah, so are Rats. It means they can survive off almost anything and have been known to. From paper and book bindings to an old bar of soap..and human flesh. You can't tame a wild Rat. They're just wild. They can bite clear through your hand, down to the bone. So, if I saw an adult Hutia 'languishing by the road', I'd tend to step on the gas and get the hell out of Dodge or Cuba or wherever the hell that thing sat. On the other hand, how cute is that thing riding in the car?

So, looking at these pics and thinking, aww, how cute. But, only if you raised it from a baby. Since I've never met a Hutia, maybe I'm totally wrong. Anyone know?

3TK Circus cover

This is Gia Giudice's band, 3TK (a diamond reference) doing a Britney Spears cover, Circus. HERE is the link, in case that vid doesn't work for you. They are very good, though at 13, I have no idea how proper or appropriate this all is. I really don't. They are talented, but, they are 13! The girls are now trying to raise some $7,000 for their next video, since Teresa and Joe obviously can't fund it.

I really wish the girls the best. None of what happened on that housewife show or the behavior of Joe and Teresa is in any way Gia's fault. But, I am still mystified if they should have allowed Gia, at her age, to make this vid. I see Lissa here, gyrating in practically nothing, in front of a mirror, mouthing Iggy Azalia lyrics and sometimes she's sort of good, but, she's here, at home. Not in front of the world. If I had funding, would I let her do this? I don't think so. But, what if she begged me? Who am I to judge Gia's parents for this? Yet, you put something out there, you will be judged. This is confusing as all get out. All I can do is wish Gia well. She is such a great kid..and talented.

ps..Gia sure makes Melissa's singing career look like The Gong Show. Gotta love that.

Crazy Kim Richards and her crazy dog

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Kim Richards, now of housewife fame, has sent her dog, Kingsley back to live with his trainer after he bit and injured at least five people. Kingsley, a Pit, has appeared on the show as the wacky big untrainable pet of wacky untrainable former child star, Kim. I guess the shit where Kingsley wouldn't mind her, wouldn't allow her to make her bed and constantly ate her property was supposed to be comic relief. I didn't think it was funny and almost made a post on it way back when. I saw that dog as being big, uncontrollable and eventually dangerous. He scared me. Mostly because of her. Some people have big crazy dogs and they control them, some people are just idiots who should stick with a purse puppy. Not that a purse puppy wouldn't act the same way, with an owner like Kim, but, a purse pup can't kill anyone. That's the difference.

Kim put plenty of pics out there of Kingsley sitting on her and her belongings. It freaked me out. I just saw a cutsey article on the front pages about 'huge dogs who think they're lap dogs.' It was supposed to be adorable. It freaked me out too. I'll tell you why. Big dogs who sit on their people are not being cute most of the time, they are claiming ownership and that's dangerous. I'm not saying all of them, I'm saying it's common and misunderstood. If a dog or any animal 'owns' you, you are not in control. And we all know, I love dogs, but, I am no dog trainer. I made a big mistake with that last Pit rescue. My mistake was thinking he trusted me and would do me no harm. Because I wasn't the person who did him wrong. But, his head was fucked up and I didn't have the time with him to fix it. The next person who fucked with him got torn up and the police took the dog. In all fairness, I had him chained, much to the dismay of dog lovers on here, but, it was my only solution while I looked for time to help him. I didn't get it, because some idiot decided to go show him who was boss. Turns out, the dog was.  The 'dangerous dog' sign was no help with people like that. If you restrain them and mark them, what else can you do to show people that they need to leave the dog alone?

I don't know what all the answers are, but, I know people who own big dogs have a responsibility to control them and keep other people safe. It's a huge responsibility. People like Kim, who can't even control herself, are not helping the cause. If your dog is taking over, it's a mistake and it's not cute. A couple of people were badly hurt by Kim's dog, including her niece, Alexis, Kyle's daughter. That would have been enough for me, but, Kim made excuses for the damn dog while her niece was in the damn hospital! That's crazy.

Beats me what to say here. Do you have something to add? Go ahead. For the record, that last Pit was not my first Pit rescue, but, he's the only one I was ever nervous about. I knew he needed help. Maybe more than I could have given him, but, at least I was aware and willing to get it for him. That goofy Kim just let her dog make chew toys out of her friends and relatives and made excuses for him. It takes a very strong and dedicated person to handle a dog like that and do right by it. She wasn't the one.

I think I'll stick to Raccoons from now on. At least I have a clear understanding of their behavior, good and bad. Ehh, who am I kidding? If an animal needs me, I'm usually there. I try at least. You can't just turn your back. But, you can't just ignore dangerous behavior and call it cute either. Kim.

This aint photoshopped (says Kim K)

I hadn't even seen the pics, though I'd heard about them. I saw that one of her greased up ass, though just a thumbnail. I didn't click on it. I have little interest in Kardashian ass. I'm much more interested in the fashion faux pas' of the Kimye. However..I LOVE that Kim says (here) that this photo is real, not photoshopped, and that the photog 'has an art' of posing her and that her back hurt for a week after this stunt. Umm hmm. She can certainly balance a champagne glass on her butt. And that photo is so real. Call me crazy, but, shit like this makes me laugh for a week. Hell, I betcha the champagne isn't even photoshopped! She probably has a lot of practice aiming squirting things over her head and back to her ass.

I think this dress is made from the same stuff her face and ass are made from. Maybe she had some ass leftover from her last injections and gave it to her dressmaker. Hey, it's not a bad thing.
 I sort of like it.

Banker husband, will stand by the wife who killed their children

THIS has to be one of the most interesting and captivating articles I've read lately. Banker, Gary Clarence says he will stand by his wife, Tania, who has been put, by a judge, into a mental hospital 'until she is recovered' after she murdered three of the couple's four children. Gary Clarence had the fourth child on a trip, with him, when his wife was home with the others. She tricked a nanny into leaving her alone with the kids and suffocated them. The children were severly disabled and she pled guilty to manslaughter, but, not murder. A judge ruled on it. I'm not sure how all that works, they are from South Africa. The murders happened in London.

I hope he writes a book because I would love to know the whole sad story. I know many will say, how could anyone kill their own children? But, I also have to ask, how could you watch them get weaker and suffer more every day, knowing they will die a bad death before they are grown? It boggles the mind, the suffering she must have endured. And always will. The article also points out the couple's struggle with medical professionals and social services. They disagreed with medical treatments and felt that some things would just prolong suffering or cause more. Social Services, well, it sounds like that department not only failed them, but, added to the turmoil and stress. Sometimes 'descending upon them' in groups. What horror. They were even accused or charged with neglect, though it's unclear what exact sort of neglect. I assume it's medical neglect stemming from their refusal to take the advice of some doctors about the children's treatment. This couple, the Clarences, are wealthy people, that's clear. No amount of money could really help them or spare them what they went through. I just thought, there must be one hell of a story here..if only someone would tell it all.

Goopy Gift Guide

Never say Gwyenth Paltrow isn't there for us. She is, as always, with her 2014 gift guide on Goop. Not only can you be be advised to pick your best friend up a gold plated juicer for slightly less than $5 grand (bargain), but, there are also very reasonable gifts that only hint at luxury and pretension. Like, these tea towels that only cost $32.00 each. Yep, I said, thirty two dollars each for...tea towels. Which is one of them fancy ways of saying 'dish rag'. HERE is Goop's guide, get out your checkbook. You know you want all this stuff. I don't even have the words to make fun of it, I'm so appalled. Do rich people just entertain themselves by driving down the road and throwing hundred dollar bills out the window? Because that's what I imagine Paltrow does. I really do. This is the picture I have in my head of anyone who would pay thirty two bucks for a dish towel. A fucking dish towel! At Dollar General I can get one for a buck and it has a free matching oven mitt with it. If I had Gywneth's money, I would still buy them at the dollar store, but, then they'd be disposable. Like, I wouldn't buy paper towels anymore. I'd just have my maid go pick me up a car full of them every month and keep them stacked in the walk in pantry. Every time I used one, I'd throw it away. I have such simple dreams. That's why I'm not classy, like Goopy.