Amy on vaccy

Puuuuuuuurdy. Here's your challenge. Name the top three things Winehouse could be pulling out of her snatch. "Brain" can not be one of the three, for obvious reasons.

Twilight perfume?

$48.00. Hmm. What do you suppose that smells like? Sexy blood? Naaaaa. It smells like sweaty clutched allowance money. Poor kids, you could have bought a bag of weed.

There's two things Pete Wentz loves about his wife

I'll bet Jessica Simpson is on anti-deprssants. Not only does Ashlee have a husband and a baby, but...well, goodness!

Daily Suri

I've had enough..take your child home and take care of her, you idiots. Bad celebrity parents.

The Spears that got married

For a couple of days the marriage of Bryan Spears to Graciella Sanchez (Jamie Lynn's manager) has served for headline news. Shrugs. It's good to see photos of Britney's big brother, he's usually not photographed. He looks just like their dad, I think.

16 year old Jett Travolta dead

The death today of John Travolta and Kelly Preston's son, Jett Travolta has been confirmed by Rand Memorial Hospital in the Bahamas where the family was on vacation. Jett has long been rumored to have Autism, which Scientology does not recognize or treat, but, the Travolta's maintain that their son suffered from Kawasaki Syndrome caused by chemicals found in products like carpet cleaners.

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The Travolta family lawyer, Michael Ossi gave a statement that said Jett had a seizure in the Old Bahama Bay Hotel and attempts to revive him were unsuccessful.

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Other sources say a caretaker found his body and he had hit his head on the bathtub during the seizure. Jett was taken by ambulance to a Freeport hospital, where he was pronounced dead. An autopsy is pending. Jett was sixteen years old.

WTF is up with his hand?

WTF did Shia LaBeouf do to his hand that he's still walking around like this? It's been months since his accident. He must have fuckered that thing up big. And don't ask me why you'd walk around clutching a banana. There's probably a good joke there, but, I'm too depressed by the lack of good gossip to find it. George Clooney has ParAss Hilton, Shia has a banana. I'd say things are going good for him at this point.

Are you kidding me??

Spotted out partying together, ParAsshole and George Clooney. According to wags, they "only had eyes for each other." I'd laugh, but, it wasn't the first time they've been seen together. The night before the two were also spotted at another night club in West Hollywood. Awwww, some one's getting some Valtrex for Valentines day!

Before Tom.....after Tom

From fresh faced young woman to cold sore bedazzled bag o' bones...Tom Cruise is good for your bank account, but, bad for your health.

Lookin' good Joaquin

I wondered which celeb I'd see in the magic hair clip first! It's Joaquin Phoenix! This is so exciting! Has he watched the video and can he make the butterfly yet?? It's so good to know I'm not the only one who is mesmerized by late night infomercials..and he doesn't look mentally ill at all. Diddy's so jealous.

The saddest news ever

My black heart weeps for Brad, who longs to hold another baby, but, Angie may not be willing to risk her life for it!!! If he's so hot to hold a baby why doesn't he walk into the nursery? There's two of them in there, last I heard. Maybe they don't smell good like brand new babies. I just don't know and I can't justify $2.99 to find out.

Three people we don't need to see in a bikini

Star Jones, Courtney Love and Donatella Versace suddenly make The Blow look pretty good again. Hell, they make me look good. Thanks.

Lohan in Miami

There's always celeb bikini pictures in January when I'm still scraping ice off my ass. What's with The Blow? For some reason that doesn't look the least bit hot. That's her douche bag brother, Michael Jr. looking at what's left of her ass. She's looking more like her mom everyday.

Starting the new year off right

ParAsshole was being paid to party at Bondi Beach, posing all fierce with BFF, Brittany when someone lobbed a sand ball at her head. It got in her eyes and sun glasses and made her cry. I'm liking the Aussies today. That's hot, huu ParAss?

Have a happy and safe new year

I hope you all have a safe New Years celebration. I'll see you soon...and I trust there will be some kick ass photos of drunk celebs soon. Gotta love those. Have a good one!

Lis got Cars

Lissa got a lot of really nice gifts for Christmas but all she wanted was Cars stuff and she got it here. She was thrilled with the Radiator Springs racing set and Speedy McQueen remote controlled car. She said "Santa DOES listen, he does!" Well, of course he does, geez. I think he's in cahoots with Disney/Pixar but, who cares? The grin on her face over the Cars stuff (and hearing her scream "TOO-TWEEN!) was my present. She also opened the new clothes I got her and was polite. She must have gotten in trouble somewhere else. Last night she slept in her Barbie Princess pup tent and matching sleeping bag...with Too-Tween. Now that she has all her loot, I don't know what I'll threaten her with.."Santa's watching you" won't work. The Easter Bunny maybe?

Emily's girls celebrate the holidays

Here they are at a pagent all decked out in holiday frocks. Awwww, seeing the faces of these two little dolls would make anyone smile. Just beautiful, Em.

Zeke and Santa

Look at that handsome big boy! He's grown, wow. I'm pretty sure he got everything he wanted from Auntie Jebbica, err, I mean Santa.

Meet Jackson

Look at Valle's new pup, little Jax. Oh, man..I think I just overdosed on cute. He looks sooooooo sweet. All together now...AWWWWW!