An interview with Hyacinth Bouquet

Lady Bucket: IT'S PRONOUNCED BOUQUET.

me: Yes, Mrs. Bouquet, I'm here to ask you your valuable opinions on todays Hollywood.

Lady Bucket: Yes, dear, of course you are. I do feel I have the expertise and certainly the very famous contacts to be prepared to enlighten you.

me: How do you feel about pop princesss, Briteny Spears?

Lady Bucket: Is she one of those Spice people? I do hope not. Though Sherriden says they dress divinely.

Me: No, Britney Spears..Opps I did it again, umm, hit me baby one more time?

Lady Bucket: Oh, yes, of course. Richard has it on the radio when we're driving to daddys house. Daddy was a war hero, you know. Yes, Britney Spears is quite popular and she has a sauna and room for a pony.

me: Yeah, well, what do you think of her showing her naked crotch while drunk and in public.

Lady Bucket: Oh, dreadful. I must tell the Vicor about all this. I assure you, she will NOT be attending my candle light suppers. Hmmmf. All I ask is that people take off thier shoes when entering my home, certainly not thier unmentionables. Let's not mention it again, shall we?

me: Ummm, what do you think of her hanging out with strippers?

Lady Bucket: Tsk, tsk, reminds me of my sister Rose. In the old days, of course. Sad to say. I prefer riparian entertainment.

me: What do you think of Lindsay Lohan in rehab?

Lady Bucket: Who, dear? I must go, Richard is holding an important call for me. I'm sure it's someone from the royal family. You know how it is. You must tell this Lohan person to drink from a beaker and keep her head high. Now, I really must run, I'm sure it's Prince Charles on the phone. >Laughs< How that man loves to talk!