I was at the grocery store a few days ago...the one time I chipped my way out of this ice mess to get the hell out of here, and I saw a bin of movies on sale. So, thinking I was sick of the movies Lissa has, I'd just toss in a couple of new ones. New, my ass. When I got home, I realized they were that same depressing crap that was on TV when I was a kid.
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Which is worse? Burl Ives as a talking snowman narrating the shittiest kids movie ever made inducing suicidal tendencies with stop animation animals that are so bedraggled they look like they were caught in the spin cycle at Britney's house? Or Jimmy Durante yuking it up in cartoon images so pathetic they look like they were drawn in some old folks home craft contest?
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Oh, GAWD...Jimmy looks like the kind of old guy who would put up with you, maybe even have some peppermints in his pocket...but, Berl?? Oh, geez..he was probably a perfectly nice man, but, he looked to me like one of those guys that if they offered you peppermints, you'd better run and scream not reach in his pockets. Ewww.
Oh, GAWD...Jimmy looks like the kind of old guy who would put up with you, maybe even have some peppermints in his pocket...but, Berl?? Oh, geez..he was probably a perfectly nice man, but, he looked to me like one of those guys that if they offered you peppermints, you'd better run and scream not reach in his pockets. Ewww.
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Lissa likes the snow monster in Rudolph..it looks just like an old dirty bedroom slipper. The stop animation techniques were so bad, it's like a paper cut out with no breeze. Really weird and shitty-creepy. And the only time they show Santa and his sleigh, he's covered with closing credits. I hated that movie when I was little..now Lis and I can hate it together. Oh, and what's with the island of misfit toys? I always wondered who got those things? Handicapped kids? Kids who were serial killers? Jump on Santa's sleigh, misfit mothers, you're going to be delivered!
Lissa likes the snow monster in Rudolph..it looks just like an old dirty bedroom slipper. The stop animation techniques were so bad, it's like a paper cut out with no breeze. Really weird and shitty-creepy. And the only time they show Santa and his sleigh, he's covered with closing credits. I hated that movie when I was little..now Lis and I can hate it together. Oh, and what's with the island of misfit toys? I always wondered who got those things? Handicapped kids? Kids who were serial killers? Jump on Santa's sleigh, misfit mothers, you're going to be delivered!
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Frosty..what can you say? So bad. No real story. Bad animation. This is the best they could do?? I used to redraw it on my Big Chief tablet and make it better because it was so BAD. But, between these two...Frosty wins because Burl Ives singing Silver And Gold is enough to make you swallow broken glass.
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Frosty also wins for the least sickening of the two and Durante not wanting to cut you up into little pieces and dispose of your body in a snowbank. The shits of it is..I paid 10 bucks each for these childhood horrors only to come home and find out they were on TV...for free. Do NOT rest in peace, Burl Ives.
At least we still have this one. Oh, that Ralphie! Ya gonna shoot yer eye out!
At least we still have this one. Oh, that Ralphie! Ya gonna shoot yer eye out!
12 comments:
i never saw a christmas story....
my favorite christmas special is 'the year without a santa clause' cuz it has HEAT MISER! LOVE THAT!!!!!!!
Oh DD...you just trashed my two most favorite christmas movies to watch...ugh!!! (note the reference to the Charlie Brown Christmas).
Don't hate me though. I'm a true product of the 70's. marsha, marsha marsha.
But I still love you, DD.
You like those????? OMG!
I can handle those old cartoons but I HATE that kid in a christmas story. HATE that movie, and last year one channel played it straight for 24 hrs. I wanted to hang myself.
Is it just me, or is Hermey the dentist elf trying to come out of the closet in Rudolph?
I hate the christmas story!! That movie drags and drags and drags.........it's full of nonsense. If a movie can't keep me glued to the screen within the first ten minutes then I decide it's not worth watching. But I really wanted to give that movie a try, cause hubby likes it. But I ended up hating it.
I like Elf. I still like Rudolph and the year without santa clause.
My little girl loves them too. Fun to laugh at.
I want a red rider bb gun so I can shoot some of the douchebags eyes out that post on this blog.
I want a red rider bb gun so I can shoot some of the douchebags eyes out that post on this blog.
I want a red rider bb gun so I can shoot some of the douchebags eyes out that post on this blog.
OK, I like "Rudolph", not "Frosty" as much. But "A Christmas Story" is the best! I have the DVD & still let the 24 hour marathon run when it's on. We can't get enough of those kids & dogs & wild stories. We live in Indiana too, so it makes us laugh to hear them talk about stuff we know about. That stop-motion stuff was so awesome when it 1st came out, it was mesmerizing! Now Altell is doing a rip-off for it's holiday commercials. I love it. I who didn't love the Norelco Santa, sliding down the hill on the electric shaver? That stuff is the SH**!!! You know it is!
I mean it says "As seen on CBS" right on the cover. I sooo would have known what these were. But I like them so I wouldn't have been upset. But they are on several times each season & it is free. How could you think they were different? Actually I would hav been mad to buy them & find something else in the case when I got home. I would have wanted the old classics. I hate those cheap rip-offs DVD's.
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