Friday, April 25, 2008

Ahhh, the perils of bloggin'


Why has posting been so sparse and slow? Let me tell you. I really wanna tell someone. Blogger has decided I must be a bot if post more than once a day. If I have the audacity to use my blog, I am told there is something amiss and I need to contact someone. Been there, done that. Many times. I wrote directly once and received a letter saying they don't answer directly, only they did, to tell me they wouldn't. Hmm.
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Instead of hiring someone to check if blogs are bot blogs, they just put in safety measures (but they can speak Hindi and set you up with ass ads). So here's what I've been doing. I put on a photo and a post..then I'm done, according to Blogger. Blogger gives me a bad cookie that stops all access to the blog. I must remove the bad cookie to continue. See, bots can't remove cookies, bots be dumbass's. But, if I remove the cookie, I am not allowed back into blogger until I reboot. No fair leaving! You be in trouble!
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So for every post today, I've rebooted. For every photo I've rebooted. If there's two photos on a post, I saved a draft and rebooted to get the second one on. I even resorted to bouncing a photo code from The Bucket, which will no doubt send me an email saying I overloaded their precious bandwidth because I am SO big time. Snort. Hey crabbie, the hit counter said 60,000 today. 60, 000...don't you wanna move to Guam? Hehhehehehh. Man, I'm a bitch (and a liar). But, it is a lot, which reminds me..I know YOU read here, now post. Dammit, if I don't get feed back it's like you're ignoring me and I only do this for attention. Promises of money and fame leave me cold. I just want to know someone reads what I wrote, even if you hate me. I really am that much of an attention whore.
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Like Scarlett said (no, not Scarlett Johansson, gowd)...tomorrow is another day, fuck today, take your meds." Isn't that what she said? Yeah, I think that was it. Blogger is going to kick my ass for talking about them..I just know it. Yet, I can't not. It's the bitch in me..you think that witch of the West was mean. I'll give you fireball, Scarecrow! You moldering bag of festering fodder.
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I know this is long. Deal with it, I have. To top it off, I bought a carton of cigs yesterday and they put them in a stapled bag, at the service counter, before you can look at them. Then you get to the check out line where they grill you to see if you stole them. Yes, pimple face, I stole one of your bags, a stapler and a receipt too. Anyhow, she sold me the wrong brand. Menthols. So nice to discover over morning coffee and a blog that's screwing me harder than anything The Blow ever snorted and bent over for. Then I got a lighter which is designed so that when you flick it, the flame is right on your finger. So there's an oven mitt laying on my desk. It's burned now. I am still calm. This is my day..and yours if you read here. Why don't I give up my foul habits? Why don't you go get in your car and drive it straight off a cliff. Cars are bad for the environment. Bitch.
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To the rest of you..thanks for putting up with me. Keep posting, keep writing..that's what makes all this worth it.

19 comments:

Anonymous said...

When i stopped smoking 32 years ago I was smoking KOOLs Kings! LOL! Cracks me up to think about how I jones'd for those stupid things. I'd be dead by now if I hadn't stopped, I was heavy into those nasty bitches. Sorry about your blog troubles, I hadn't noticed, you have been doing nicely today my dear! OK..."YOU BITCH!"...is that better? LOL!!!

Dirty Disher said...

Long as you comment..you are the best.

Anonymous said...

You attention seeker! I love your site and I come here a couple of times a day!
I'm positive that is what Scarlett said, well at least that is what I live by.

cupcake said...

L.Y.L.A.S. :-)

kissannie said...

I quit smoking when I got preggers - Even now, three years later when I am having a rough day I still dream of a nice long drag off a cigaretter - but not a menthol! Really strange that a blogger site questions multiple posts - hope they pull their heads out of their asses...

Anonymous said...

It's stupid you can't post as much as you want on your OWN blog.. Just dumb.

Sorry DD.. I'll always drop in..Not sure if that's good news for you.

Eliza :)

Anonymous said...

I love your ranting and raving!

Anonymous said...

ARGH!! what a pain!!! But i think we all appreciate what you do for us!!! :) so thank YOU DD for tolerating blogger!!!

booooooooo to blogger!!

Dirty Disher said...

TY for the comments and to everyone who comments..it's the only reason I blog. Oh, and I never smoked while preg. NOT EVER..not once. Just so ya know..I hate that.

Anonymous said...

I check out your site at least once a day!!! It is one of my only vices. I really appreciate your site b/c it cracks my shit up. I actually laugh out loud! which is not my style. you are hysterical and put a smile on my face everyday!

Dirty Disher said...

TY so much, but, I find it amusing when people tell me I make them laugh. I don't rehearse posts, that's just the way I talk/bitch. If I had to think things out I'd be in a loony bin.

Anonymous said...

This is what I read for; give 'em hell!

bigsandals said...

Keep at it!!! I don't know what I would do w/o my DD dose. Weird...I can't stand the liberal douchebags on the left and right coast...I'll drive my big SUV if I want (I just choose not to cuz I can't afford the gas) but I WILL put a bumper sticker on my Prius that says "I drive this shitcan to save $$$, fuck the polar bears" (actually I like animals more than most people..but you get the point). Anyway, you make me laugh with your laser sharp wit...can't get enough. Don't be like Dave Chapelle now and stop because the wrong people are laughing at your jokes...entertain me woman!!!

Anonymous said...

Well Dirty Disher, I check your site a few times a day, love your comments keep up the good work!! Then of course I have to check out Crabby`s. You both are better then Perez!

Anonymous said...

DD for President......

Dirty Disher said...

Again..thank you to all my commenters. A half assed ty to all my readers.

Anonymous said...

give up smoking, you know it bites and ages you and all that. and gives you (good) reasons to hate dumb store clerks and dumber store policies.

Anonymous said...

Hello from The UK, I look at your blog and Crabbies several times during the evening. I love intelligent comments from ppl who arn`t fame ho`s.......

Sorry your day isn`t going well but as we say in England.... "Things are worse at sea."

Anonymous said...

You are great. You are wonderful. You are beautiful. You are my blogging inspiration. <3

Can't get through a day of blogging w/o coffee and cigarettes, either, so I am with you there! And menthols, bleh!