The medical examiner called me with some shocking news. Eric died of a massive brain seizure. There was evidence of scarring on his brain indicating past major seizures. Yes, this is a surprise. Eric was a big strong seemingly healthy guy. I'd suggested he get an exam when we found out his daughter was born with Chiari's. He meant to, but, never got around to it. He hated hospitals and was busy, like people are.
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So I have a huge apology to make to my son. He didn't fuck up. He didn't fuck up at all. It was fate. Fate is an unfair bitch. It wouldn't have mattered how much he partied that night or if he had been sipping Chamomile tea. In all fairness, the opinion of an accidental overdose was not just based on what I saw that night. It was some professionals opinion as well and seemed right. I don't fault anyone for that, but, I thank the medical examiner in Des Moines for not giving up. He just couldn't accept that Eric died of party. He dug and dug and dug some more. He just wouldn't give up. It took him 10 days, but, he found it. Natural causes.
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It gives me comfort to know for sure that my boy didn't think this world was so bad or that he'd leave his little daughter. He'd love hearing me have to suck some butt, trust me, he's smiling. And now we know the truth and have something to tell Alissa. We all miss him SO much.
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PS...now I can pass a Jack Daniels sign and not get mad. JD..now my friend. Not that I'd drink it, but, you know what I mean.
19 comments:
That is good news. I'm glad that you found this news out and I hope you and your family are deeply comforted by it.
Happy Mother's Day, DD. Don't you think Eric had a hand in when you found this news out?
Don't know, but TY for reminding me it's moms day. I have to go see my ma and bring her some flowers.
i know people die of alchohol poisoning but from your description of how he was found, listening to music, chatting on the web, having a quiet drink, it didn't seem to fit in with how people die of poisening. not that i know much about it, but being poisened usually involves pain, agony vomiting etc. its good to know he didn't suffer, just quietly passed away while enjoying a peaceful, happy evening at home, dagging around. it doesn't make the loss any easier. it must have been a very sad day for you today, not the happiest of mothers days.
oh its morning there for you. your mothers day is just starting. ours here is ending, its 10.30pm. i took my mother out today, coffee, cake, then dinner. we enjoyed it.
I am so glad the m.e. didn't give up but kept searching for the truth. :-)
Happy Mother's Day Pat!
~Peg
Thanks!
Oh DD, you must all be so comforted by this news. I'm sure that Eric is feeling more peace now, wherever he is, knowing that you all finally know what really happened to him.
Happy Mother's day DD, and I hope that you have a good day and feel Eric's spirit around you.
Susan
TY Susan..that was sweet.
Susan said it best!
Thanks for sharing DD! Happy mama's day!
Boston Jess
I'm so glad that you found out what it was...it will help the healing all that better. From one mom to another have a happy mom's day.
I am so glad to hear this!
Thank you for keeping all of us updated on Eric.
I agree with everybody before me, join in with the happy mother's day wishes, DD, you are a great one!
And finally, lia said it perfectly, it is a great comfort to know that Eric did not suffer but quietly passed while doing what he enjoyed the most.
Oh, and happy mother's day to all mothers here on this blog!
Everybody has said what I wanted to say..
But, HAPPY MOM'S DAY DD! Use the toy phone and talk to Eric..the little one just might have something there.
Hugs
Eliza
I am happy you now know the cause and can feel good knowing he was always a responsible person.
I lost a friend to a seizure once, he had drowned in a bathtub, then we learned it was bcos he'd had a seizure, been epilectic and not told most of us.
I hope this does not sound horrible to you but, in a sense, he really had a good death, just way way too early.
Best wishes
c
Happy for you Pat..... and even more so for Lissa!!!!
Nads
I knew you were going to post this today, and I am glad you did and that it has made you feel better posting and knowing this news.
I also know it gives you great strength to know Eric didn't fuck up and didn't leave Alissa by his own accord and this is something that will never be wondered about now and brings you and Alissa in future years much comfort.
Eric is smiling at you DD on this mother's day.
Crystal
I am also glad to hear that it wasn't anything Eric did. 'Cuz then you would be mad at him for leaving. He had no control over this. Men are notorious for not going to the Dr when they are told to. It cost Jim Henson & John Ritter their lives by just being men & ignoring things. Like they always do, they think they are made of steel. This is off the subject a bit: My 24 yr old son got arrested on Friday night/Saturday morning and I was mad until he told me he blew a 7.? on his breathalizer test and they held him 16 hours because they judged him impaired. He had been up since 5 that a.m. for work. But when he goes out he looks like he's in Orgy or something, he's a musician. He wears his hair all fixed and pulled up here & there, it's black & blonde and he has piercings and he wears eyeliner when he goes out clubbing. He is NOT gay or a druggy. He's all about music, Industrial Techno & synth'ed music as well as his fab guitar playing. They totally judged him by his appearance. The officers can use their own judgment on things like that. He was impaired because he was exhausted & he was almost home too. Anyway, I know you wouldn't want anybody thinking bad things about your son either. So, I understand. We love you girl & feel it with you. We all that are mothers are mothers till we die. It never changes. I just kinda needed to vent and felt like maybe somebody might understand. Take care babe and know that Eric knows you love him and that you do not think he f'd up! He just had to wait for you to find out. Now he has peace.
Im glad that you found out...i hope that brings comfort to you and your family..much love DD...
-kg
Thank you all. Your thoughts mean a lot to me.
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