Yawn, fart, yawn, the music awards

I watched it......yawn. I found a spider over the TV and I kept poking him, hoping he'd move so I'd have something else to watch, but, I think he'd died of boredom. Jimmy Kimmel is as funny as a wart on a dick head. Rhianna had this goofy sack dress on, it was so short she had to hold the back of it down and her ass still hung out going up the steps. She won some shit and she wasn't grateful, she practically pissed in their faces for bothering her with the stupid awards.

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Miley Cyrus did every cheesy move imaginable, and she doesn't even have the sense to be embarrassed. She actually thought everyone came to see her teenie bopper ass. Her dad introduced her and made lame yuk yuks.

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Mariah Carey looked surprisingly fat, but, today the stills look slim. Uh huu, she has power. The power to make gigantic ass fat disappear overnight. Nick Cannon held her hand and kissed her onstage, then she sang. WTF? It was pretty humiliating..for him. Poor little weenie.

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The only two good things were Pink, who was fantastic and not a bit rattled and Cold Play who let loose 1000's of leaves which fell all over the audience and pissed some of them off. And Mr. Paltrow fell into a wall and tried to play off like it was part of his artsy fartsy prancing, but, I think he was stoned out of his gourd. I wish I had been. And that is all I have to say about this mess. Oh, except Kanye..oh, geez. He looked like a bum with a raccoons tail hanging off his dumb ass and he said he wants to be Elvis. Whatsa matter wichoo, Kanye? He's giving his award away to Lil Wayne. For real, he said that. He's so fucked. I lucked out and missed Beyonce because there was a giant tumor on TLC. Yay for giant tumors!