8 Little Dollar Signs, by Kate Gosselin, the inspirational story of one White Trash Mom's rise to fame and glory via a magic uterus.Chapters include..
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How to make children pay for their own existence
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Child pornography only exists in perverts imagination
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It's all relative, Grand Parents are overrated
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Aunt Jodi is a liar
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How to get everything for FREE!
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I haven't been home in 7 months
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All dogs go to heaven, if you put them to sleep
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How to remove a husbands balls (includes photos of my Kate Spade bag)
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Hannah is perfect
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How to cook like me! (includes grapes and paper plates)
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How to use the Bible as a scamming tool
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Who are all these fucking kids?
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How to get Oprah and Dr. Phil in your pants
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OctoMom aint shit
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The big red spoon ( on small Asian ass)
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How to take away all your child's self esteem and privacy for profit
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Mady sucks
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Everybody who's important is orange
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The secret to my fab hair (includes coupon for dynamite and hand mixer)
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Making up words, (correcting other peoples grammar incorrectly)
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I'm exhausted-ish
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Self rightious-nesh-ish is a right
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How to pack a cardboard box
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I am always right because I am rich
82 comments:
"Everybody who's important is orange"
LMFAO!!!!
LOL - I can't stop smiling at this!!!! Waaaaaay to go D.D.
Are those boobs or is her neck melting?
You forgot:
"Who needs a Hospital for your sick kids, just use the Laundry Room floor!"
and
"Boys are icky, I wish I had all girls!"
LOL! Yeah, feel free to add your chapters..there's only so much room, we could do this all day.
8 Exploited Faces: Pedophiles will buy this book in bulk. That way when the pages stick together they can just pick up another book.
Who would want pictures of children that aren't their own?
Breed For Greed.
Kate is deeply, madly, PASSIONATELY in love with Kate. I just feel for the kids, who are adorable for the most part.
I do owe Kate one THANK YOU, though. It is through a posting on here about their new dogs that I found the Dirty Disher! I've been enjoying this place ever since. Venting is good for the soul, wouldn't you say?
That's my philosophy. That and hukuna matata. Hope Kate has hukuna matata-ish when she finds this post. And she will
Awwww...This post warmed my heart!!
Finally the truth behind the book.
Special Kate quotes include:
"A Pedophile's money is as green as anyone elses"
"Rich, orange people always bang their pricey bodyguards"
" Jon who?"
" What fucking car?"
"I out did Beth, stupid bitch wrote my book but I claimed all the credit! Mine all fucking mine!"
"
Those eyebrows -- no one does Katie Irene eyebrows as well as you, DD. And those breasts, what can I say...they are probably identical to her real ones unless she's talked her kids into giving her new ones as a gift for being such a wonderful mommy.
Oh Fuck!!
Caught me totally off guard!
WOOP.
lmfao at the photo-shopping...tooooooo funny!!
Like Eric, I too must thank the almighty kate. It was because of my severe hate of her that I came upon your site, DD, and I find I must have my fix every day now....just as kate needs her fix of degrading every sniveling, wretched person that is beneith her..which would include...everyone.
Other chapters in her Pedophile Prize book:
How to sell stuff other people gave you and make it look like you give to charity.
How to look EXHAUSTED when you do nothing because all the hired help, including but not limited to your kids, do everything.
Front row seats and goodie bags...MINE all Miiiinnnne.
Ho shoes.
Her husband has a very small willywanker ~ or so I've heard thru the grapevine .. we live about 15 minutes from where all his partying took place :)~
Mine would shrink too if I had to look at and listen to THAT bitch all day. Oh wait, she's never home now anyway.
That's probably why jon's kids bought him his new little mid-life crisis car...to compensate for the "lack thereof"...
my god- get over her.
asian men are notorious for their very small dicks. He might be small but he does not shoot blanks, sadly.
Love it!
Thanks DD :)
He's HALF-Asian and some Asians have big dicks and some have sad little guys just like white people
You are one hysterical(in a good way)woman. Every day I check your blog you make me laugh,this made me laugh so hard I cried! Thanks DD I appreciate your humor, wit and the time you take to make your blog one of my favs!
Fucking brilliant.
And I have to add myself to the list of people who found DD via googling stuff on KON.
Every day since, I've had to have my DD infusion.
LMAO! Finally, someone who sees those two KONS for what they are! I spit iced tea all over my screen, mate!
life's too short to h8 k8 so much.
Well. I've always been here And I hate Kate. What does that say about me?
I think she should make her personal chef shout out, "Master! Dinner is prepared!"
That, and fishnets would lighten things up around their household. Although I can't imagine Kate in fishnets. Or at least I try not too. (No, I am not John)
EWWW kate in fishynets....ewwww...
I need bleach for my brain now.
This is way too funny. Thanks DD for making my day. Kate is on her way out. The Octomom is pushing Kate off of the ship. I wouldn't doubt if Kate gets pregnant again with ten babies to out do the Octomom.
Kate is another Cindy Anthony, crazy in the head.
DD, you made Kate look better than ever. She should thank you.
Everyone is really getting sick of Kate and her nasty ass orange body. I wonder if the skin coloring agent she uses is organic.
Me too - sucked into this site (in a good way) via GWoP - thanks DD!
Loved "who are all these fucking kids". Well done.
Thats so funny!!! I have a chapter, but I do not know how to be funny like you - My chapter is....
The secrets to potty training. - NOTE: must be willing to leave child for hours on end alone on pot while you go about your business.
Casey J.
Chapter 17 Ten reasons NOT to give a 3 year old a Bagel.
Chapter 18 How to humiliate your 7 year old repeatedly by proclaiming the never brush their teeth on national television.(2 times, in case anyone at her school missed it the first time)
Chapter 19 The benefit and joy of the 3 hour nap.
This pic made my day! Priceless!
absolutely fantastic.. So true all of it. Oh and the picture ha I bet that succubus looks like that without the orange glow makeup botox etc.
More chapters:
"Cleaning tips: How to get gum out of a child's comfort toy? WTF Just throw it away...Who cares as long as it's not Hannah's!"
and
"Things to hide from viewers: Nannies, Chefs, Millions in the bank."
"High Chairs,Bibs and Naps: How to keep 5 year old "Babies" cute and boost ratings at the same time."
Yeah, Casy J. and Shelly, when that rotten bitch turned out the light and left Joel on the potty..and when she said NO bagel to Alexis (I think it was Alexis) ..the WAR WAS ON! I put up with her fake OCD and shrill carping and was amused, until I really looked and saw someone just plain mean. Kate is mean.
That bagel thing! OMG, I've wanted to go off on that forever. Mady and Cara got bagels, the little kids were having cereal. Alexis asked for a bagel. They ignored her, she asked again, they ignored her, that went on until she got whiny and they send her to the corner. Probably whacked her with the red spoon too. God damn fuckers, its a muther fuckin' dollar bag of bagels GIVE THE KID A BAGEL! Those two bit fuck nuts and their dumb ass rules that make no sense and hungry little kids. Shame on 'em!
I thought Jon was Hawaiian? Do Hawaiian men normally have teeny weenies too? LOL
His mom is Korean and was raised in Hawaii. She now lives near them, someone fill me in on exactly where...near that college where he got caught partying with coeds. Gossip is, he's living with his mom now. I'm not sure. His dad was a white dentist, nice guy by all accounts. He's dead now.
They are just full of lies. One thing I'm sure of is they aren't living together. They have a business partner arrangement. Thier business is child exploitation.
DD..,
You are hilarious! I have laughed so hard at this. I really think you should e-mail her a copy.
The rough way Jon jerks the kids around always bothered me. Then I found out they spank off camera. Verbal, mental & physical. I just can't imagine her hitting one of her kids. Or maybe I can, that was it for me and these mouth breathing breeders.
Chapter 20 - How to clean poop out of Hannah's unnawares.
Chapter 21 - Family fecal removal as a hobby.
Chapter 22 - You WILL make goddamn memories, you got that?
People can see this stuff. If I was Kate I'd be so ashamed.
is the pic real?
DD, you have the BEST comments on these fucking idiots - LOVE it. As a random side note, I would assume Kate's stylist hates her as much as everyone else does because I cannot think of any other excuse to continue to give her the hair style she has... that was popular like, MAYBE 10 years ago. I don't know why, it just pisses me off... it's like a reverse mullet - all long in the front and spiky in the back - EWWW!
I can totally see either one of these ding-dongs smaking their kids, are you kidding me? We've seen her in a rage over something as small as a drawer knob being taken off or a tiny bit of gum on a sock. I would not want to be on the receiving end of her rage or Jon's frustration spankings, that's for sure.
"Those two bit fuck nuts and their dumb ass rules that make no sense"
ROFLMAO! That made my DAY!
I found this site via another KON site, too - I'm glad I did! Kudos, DD!
Love this blog: like others found it through seeking Gosselin info. Loved the title of the book..Few chapters to add:
Culturing your Kids: How being in public with your children is like making yogurt
Feeding 8 children with only a paper plate and a handful of grapes a day
"Mady Sucks" is my favorite. That kid is atrocious.
seachelle, a hater from retro blog.net they hide in there little trolls only private site only.True kate jelous haters.
retroblog.net ive been there no one can even say one thing nice about kate &jon how sad these ugly trolls are.
retro blog.net sucks and the trolls that hang out there.
kates sooo pretty leave her alone.
Crabbie, are those what your titties look like?
"No one can say one thing nice about jon and kate..."
Uhh, wanna try?
That's okay, if you think prostituting your kids for material gain FAR beyond what one needs is okay, I have no use for you. Hey, how about trying to tell me one good thing continuing that show will bring. Just one thing.
They've got everything paid for from now through college, thanks to sharing their childrens' potty moments to all the pedophiles.
Kat(e) got your tongue?
If you enjoy arrogant, materialistic, superficial, greedy media whores, go for it, babe.
Hey, and thanks for advertising our blog! Anyone can join us...you just need the ability to see clearly and post intelligently and laugh.
The people that admire this woman gross me out! What is so great about turning your uterus into a clown car and printing masturbation manuals for pedophiles??
THAT is Mother of the year?? Puh leeeez
What about..
How to get over-active ovaries by lying to your doctors to get fertility drugs and then ignore them and have sex anyway.
NCL. Babymama & Teresa
Dried up old twats need to do die from your own damn skankiness. The Queens on Retro have a private circle because filth like you with no mind and less morals couldn't leave them be. But WE ALL know you are too stupid to realize this.
DD your post is awesome. It always is! Babymama wishes she had a tenth of the hits you get by accident.
Kate sucks!
Dirty Disher you see the TRUE Kate.
I loved this pic and your own unique take on the book! Flawless!
How nice to see Retro mentioned. Retro like Dirtydisher, musingsfromthemoon, GWoP, Reality Without Apologies and TVsnarks blogs are intellegent people with enough intellect and moral standards to understand that whoring your kids for finance and fame are wrong.
Anyone who fails to grasp this is either a pedophile, loving to see those naked kids, or an obsessed moron who can't figure out how to create their own life so they want to live in the image of a two bit child whoring shrew.
I know you're all jealous of us. We have brains, success, the ability to provide for our kids without prostituting their lives. But if you idiot fans are going to use the word jealous could you please at least learn to spell it...Stupid FUCKS! roflmao....
I LOVVVVVVE me some Kate, I think she's hot as hell, I'd fuck her with my black strap-on dong!
I can't believe there are many dumb asses out there buying a book of pictures of these kids and bullshit written by Tangerine Take.
Love the pic & post DD!
I love the Retro site too! Those women ROCK! Smart, funny, spot on opinions...except for the loser fans that show up...but now there is a private section that they can't get too.
RE 10:28
You are right. The sites you mentioned are filled with smart folks with good morals and are all GOOD parents.
Look at ALL the Fan/REAL haters posts...They can't even type a correct sentence. I love the JELOUS( correct spelling for the asshole fans info is: jealous) shit...That's why they hate Retro so much they can't understand the big words.
I love the anti J&K sites, that someone mentioned. The fan sites are a riot to read though. Babymama's site is like a ghost town mostly only her and about 4 others peeps having orgasms about Kates fucking ugly shoes and foaming at the mouth when one of her own posters says they've gotten tired of kate. I have watched the fans turn into anti Gosselin's one by one over there. It fun to watch.
I also get a kick out of the MomsLogic site, another bunch of third grade mentality slow droids that can't type a sentence worth beans and can only spout Jell-us! Too fucking funny. I wonder how it makes old Kate feel when she reads this stuff and realizes she only appeals to halfwits!
J&K Fans are halfwits!!! How does it make you feel Kate? Mental morons and pedophiles are your WHOLE fan base! WOW! Impressive huh? NOT!
Kate is a mental moron herself.
seachelle
I read your blogs all the time at retro and think you and the other bloggers over there are funny and really sweet.
They were all very nice to me when I blogged there. I read mostly because everything I would say has been said. But I really think it is a nice site. I love DD and the musings site too. Smart funny and direct. All good!
I use to post on babymam's site all the time and then I woke up and saw what Kate and Jon were really about and you are right that a lot of people are starting to see what scammers they are.
The momslogic site is another site with a lot of simpletons saying stupid stuff about other sites. I think it is because they really don't have much of a life themselves so they get jealous of the smarter people on the anti sites, who seem to be successful and know how to make a good life for their kids without playing the system or exploiting their children
Why wont anyone realize how gorgeous she is? She's hot from head to toe, period. I'm not a bulldyke, but I'd like to have my way with her sweet ass !!
Outside beauty means nothing to me when the inside is rotten to the core!
I happen to love the Jon & Kate Fan sites. Just because we don't comment doesn't mean we don't love the show or like this sites. Its vulgar here. We have brains, success, the ability to provide for our kids wether its on TV or not. Its our business, and your just JEALOUS.
Were not turning into anti-Gosselin fans over at BabyMammas site, you just wish that. Hey, one good thing continuing that show will bring? The fans will continue to enjoy it.. you wanted just one thing. The people on Retro are just insane, and Moons site are just plain nasty. I don't know where this site is going but it looks like the bottom of the crapper like the rest of the hate sites..Enjoy it down there.....
Here is a comment for you baby mama fan site shut the fuck up you stupid ass slut.
Thats the Kate we love to hate you fuckin tard at baby mamas site. You cult following sluts shut the hell up already.
Baby Mama is seriously delusional. If you Kate worshipers don't like what we say, guess what?? YOU DON"T HAVE TO Read IT, you stupid sheeple!!
Get a life and stop trying to be Kate.
I happen to love the Jon & Kate Fan sites. Just because we don't comment doesn't mean we don't love the show or like this sites. Its vulgar here. We have brains, success, the ability to provide for our kids wether its on TV or not. Its our business, and your just JEALOUS.
Were not turning into anti-Gosselin fans over at BabyMammas site, you just wish that. Hey, one good thing continuing that show will bring? The fans will continue to enjoy it.. you wanted just one thing. The people on Retro are just insane, and Moons site are just plain nasty. I don't know where this site is going but it looks like the bottom of the crapper like the rest of the hate sites..Enjoy it down there.....JEALOUS? What an original come back. Did you come up with it on your own? I dont think the RetroBlog people are insane at all. What you call insane, I call RetroBlog people being honest on a subject.If you all want to watch J&K then more power to you. At least if you're at home watching the show we dont have to worry about you infecting society with your off the wall reasoning.
"retroblog.net ive been there no one can even say one thing nice about kate &jon how sad these ugly trolls are." You're a dumb ass! That's why it's called a non-fan site. If good things on Kate were said it would be a fan site. Keep studying! One day you'll be an adult just like us. "Ugly Trolls"? You're just mad you're not allowed to go in that "invite only" thread. BOO HOO!
DD forgot to say I love your site! You rock, Gosselins dont.
"retro blog.net sucks and the trolls that hang out there." For people that hate RetroBlog you all seem very knowledgable about it. I dont hate the Gosselins, but I dont respect or believe in what their doing to their family. I never will. Their so self absorbed & like to think of themselves as celebrities which in reality land they are to a point, but those phones will stop ringing, one day the free stuff will stop, the books will be on sale for $5.00 at Dollar General their glory train will be over. Those poor kids will be left in the aftermath of the Gosselin tornado.
NCL,BabyMama & Teresa were run off RetroBlog because it was discovered that indeed the 3 of them are totally crazy & borderline retarded. It's killing them that they cant access that forum. BOO HOO BITCHES. NCL & Teresa are sneaky,liars & 2 faced. Dont trust them or you will regret it. Their devils on Earth.TRUST ME!
DD, I told you it wouldn't take long for the stupid sheeple to stumble on this site and come out spewing there venom, the miserable mother fuckers!
Concepta, it sure sounds like your a bulldyke, the way your lusting after Kate.
The one good reason that the fans could come up with as to why to continue the show is so the "fans can enjoy it." ?????????
(..clearing throat..talk about "no life")
Umm, okay...sure. Guess it'll give more material for pedophiles to work with. So nice of kate to provide that.
we love to hate Kate.
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