Ahab's arch nemesis, Kirstie Alley, who recently admitted to gaining 83 pounds, now says she wants to slim waaaaay down and compete in a triathlon.
One of the things I want to do is do a triathlon. I've been researching it, and I might want to do my first triathlon in Italy. It's a two-mile swim, a 12-mile bike and a three-and-a-half mile run. I was a competitive swimmer, so I think the swimming will come back to me really fast.
I wouldn't do too much swimming right now Kirstie - not with all the harpoon-wielding sea captains around. Maybe if you took Hayden Pantyliner along to protect you. But even if there aren't whalers in the vicinity, there's still a danger of some scientist radio-tagging you so they can study your migratory patterns. "I didn't know whales spent so much time at IHOP." I don't know if you knew, but Kirstie was once taken to the future by the crew of the Enterprise. But they brought her back after she ate a Vulcan.
16 comments:
She tried a Scientology weight-loss program. But the only thing that got lighter was her wallet.
She should just give up on the idea of losing weight. If getting paid all that $$$$ by Jenny Craig wasn't enough to keep her motivated, probably nothing is.
If she just stopped eating trash and ate fresh, organic, clean meals. So sad that she has the means to hire a good chef/nutritionist to help her eat well, and WALK. Put that fat ass in motion and carry a bucket and a shovel and grow a garden (right?). She'll sweat and move and reap a harvest rich in taste and nutrition.
I bet she loses 20 pounds just by not drinking sodas and cutting sugars by half. Not to mention all that pasta. Shit, Ironman triathletes don't carb-up like she is.
She needs to accept the fact that she's fat and say FUCKIT, I'M FAT.
Crabbie, I read that and laughed so hard I pulled a cramp in my side. I love you!
Why do people always say shit like "I'm gonna lose a lot of weight so I can be in a triathlon!" Who the hell wants to be in a triathlon? They all secretly mean that they want to look good in clothes.
i thought scientology could cure EVERYTHING?? why not her weight problems???
she already competes in triathlons daily...a triple at mcdonalds, followed by chili fries from a drive thru and then banana split at dairy queen...oh sorry...that's her lunch....
Damn Jenny Craig Kirsties obviously be trying to call you so answer the damn phone! One too many simple diet meals a day perhaps?
She's a very funny lady. I like Kirstie, alot. Fuck her religion. I hope she loses the weight, and does w/e she wants to when she feels like it. Don't we all? The triathlon is a bit of a reach, like J-Lo doing it. Yeah, riiiight. And Katie running that marathon. I just don't think those gals did it, not like we would have to, anyway. Ya' know? Not like "real people". I'm trying to lose weight right now, about 15 pounds, gardening is a great way to stay busy, out of the kitchen, if nothing else. And walking my dog twice a day on nice long brisk walks. It's working already. Almonds people, almonds!! The snack food of super models!!
crabbie's only pickin because he's bigger than she is.
Oh jesus christ I won that same skirt and I'm going on a diet NOW
*own
I wish her the best..I think she needs to do this for herself and not public pressure..
Kirstie is such a beautiful woman. There is more to her than being fat. She's funny, gorgeous, talented, Emmy winning and seems like a good person. She has I think, 2 adopted children and has managed to keep them out of view for their entire lives. Her & her Hardy Boy husband adopted them. She's fine, if she loses the weight, great. If not, then so be it. But hearing her speak I can tell she breathes hard. She would just flat out feel better if she did it.
Triathalon? More like she should tri-pushing back from the feed trough! Or maybe she should tri-being honest with herself. She's a funny, kind of pretty in a way, E- or F-list former celebrity type gal who has ALWAYS battled the weight. The only thing that kept her relatively thin during her heyday was better living through chemistry. Fade away, Kirstie...
It's pretty easy to swim when you're bobbing like a cork!
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