I didn't know what to title this post, and I'm not sure I can find the words to say what I need to say, but, here goes. Children have great modesty. People like Kate Gosselin don't understand or believe that. It's hard for normal people to even flicker on that lack of respect, but, there are many adults who think like that.*
If someone took a photo of me on the toilet it would embarrass me and I'd be pissed, but, I'd get over it. I'm an adult, I go to the bathroom, people are assholes, move along. But, if someone had taken a photo of me on the toilet when I was a child and passed it around school, I'm reasonably sure I would have committed suicide.
*
My mother never understood that children have feelings and modesty, just like Kate. When we lived in the old mansion we didn't have plumbing and all of us kids got weekly baths in a tin tub in the kitchen. I was 10 and I had breasts. I was a pathetically skinny child and somehow I'd developed real breasts. I was ashamed of them and hid them. There was no hiding on bath day. I begged, pleaded, screamed and fought, but, it was inevitable. The kitchen was a traffic area, we lived communally. There was always men around. Uncles, boyfriends of someone, and a few of them made sure they were in the kitchen on bath day. Once, one of them reached down and grabbed my boobies and said "Aren't you a big girl." My mother and aunt shooed him out and laughed. I cried and they laughed at me. "Look at her, thinking men look at her. Ha ha ha." They WERE looking at me. And worse. This is far from the most tramatic memory I have of childhood, so I'll get to the point.
*
I wasn't respected and my modesty wasn't respected because I was a child and children didn't count. Every one knew children had no real feelings, they were like puppies. I wasn't suicidal upfront, but, after one of these incidents I always put myself in great danger. I would climb up to our very high barn loft and swing out on a rotted rope. I would walk on tiptoe along beams of high bridges. I would go to the river and find a catfish hole and walk into it and drop off, even though I couldn't swim. I always managed to get out, but, my real intention was to die accidentally. I wanted to die. I just didn't really know what suicide was or that it was an option at age 10.
*
My real point here isn't about me, it's about the Gosselin kids. Their mother is allowing this "thing" to happen to them every single day of their life. They have it much worse than I did. She has sold them and sold their modesty which she denies they even have. Look at that photo. That's not normal. Those children face that every day and in every situation. Kate has cameras in their bathrooms. Sure, perverts might not be able to reach out and touch them, but, it doesn't make the molestation any less. Kate has taken their childhood and made the most private personal moments of their young lives public. For money. We should all be outraged and scared for the Gosselin kids. If I wanted to die because of bath day, how do those eight feel? How do they really feel? Jon and Kate don't care how they feel. Specifically Kate because she controls everything and she set this whole thing up. How long is she going to be allowed to destroy those kids for money? How long?
53 comments:
And my problem with bath day was solved when I started heating water in a metal bucket and carrying it up the enourmous staircase to my room and washing. It was less bother to the adults and bath day stopped. This was also about the time I started becoming very reclusive and anti social.
Boy DD. Being reclusive and anti social worked for you. It's what you had to do to protect yourself.
Pat, I am so so sorry for that. The incident itself is horrifying, but what your Mom said and how she treated you, after being an eye witness to that filthy jerk touching you, is inexcusable, to put it lightly. I know you didn't post that to make everyone feel sorry for you, and I DID get your point. I just couldn't go any further without saying it. OK? So, don't be pissed!!
I really hope that somehow Kate reads your post. Maybe that would shake her up and make her think.
Once again, DD, thank you for sharing.
Thanks. My point, which you got, was not that the man traumatized me. That was nothing but an embarassment. The trauma was that my mother and aunt were not willing to protect me. They simply thought I didn't have feelings. It nearly cost me my life and that's how the G kids must feel every day.
WOW DD. That was very personal and I'm sure not very easy to share.
You are right though. If only Kate had a clue how she's scarring these poor kids for the rest of their lives. It makes me so sad to think of how they will turn out.
ahhh DD this post brought me to tears. im so sorry you had to deal with this, and i'm also sorry for the gosselin children.
i remember when you first got cable and started watching.. i thought you were gunna be one of the sheeple because you said something along the lines of it being a good show. it sure didn't take you long to catch on to their tirade!!
Steph
If there's anything worse than a child exposed and humiliated, it's a parent who is allowing it to happen.
I still say one of the older girls or a little boy will do it someday. I commented on here for this earlier but it wouldnt work. So, I'm not going to get too detailed this time. Poor kids. I do agree with you.
Pat, I have a knot in my stomach after reading your post. What you've written sums this whole situation up better than anything I've read regarding the Gosselins (and sadly I've read a lot...).
I was fooled for a few episodes, then I saw the kids naked and showering and on the toilet and strange men over the little girls with camera while they were changing their panties and the lingering shots of the little boys butt cracks and I knew. I knew they were being whored. And that's what it is.
Whored by their own mother. It's evil and she will pay someday.
Kate is sitting with her fat pussy on a plastic throne watching the goings on, the scripted play, the play w/o imagination. Thats what I think will harm them most. They cannot even develop normally. And thats not even taking into account the intrusions into their every move. When the cameras go away & nobody cares anymore those kids wont know how to act and will do whatever it takes to get attention. Drugs, booze, sex, crime, failing at everything! Just to get the attention again, 'cuz they won't know what to do when it's gone. They won't know normal.
The woman has ZERO class. And it shows. Everyday.
Have you been able to forgive your mom over the years?
those children are so starved for attention i don't think they'd be able to cope if the cameras, producers and sound guys would disappear one day.
the show really isn't that bad.
6:41:00 PM..good question. I thought so until Lissa came along and I started to see Mom dismiss her feelings because she's a child. I raise hell about it. No one and I mean NO ONE will treat Lis like that.
Lissa is lucky to have you!!
Don't forget about the times she photographed the kids next to their POOPS in their porta potties ON CAMERA.
Those kind of scars will never fade.
DD I hope she pays dearly. I can't even think of anything horrible enough to do to her, but that's not even my decision, I'll leave it up to the experts.
I try to forget that Biz. I really do. I was so ashamed for them.
I can relate to not having a voice as a child and having my feelings invalidated simply because I was a child and simply because I was a child I was undeserving. I can't even guess where Kate's 8 are going to end up but I know Lissa is a lucky girl to have you as a loving Grandmother who 'gets' her and who is an advocate on her behalf.
Your mom should have learned from her mistakes and she hasn't so is deserving of no respect or obligation. You should never have been treated as though how you felt was inconsequential. However Lissa has you in her corner because you allowed yourself to remember how it felt and you made your determination not to allow it to happen again to Lissa.
I see no such resolution in the lives of Kate's 8 so far and that's what makes their situation so scary.
Pat, this was so beautifully written and is a perfect example of why your readers love you. Thank you for sharing your personal stories and putting into words what many of us are thinking. I agree with Cut, Kate should read this.
Thank you. I just feel for those kids is all and I was trying to put into words that I can relate to them.
Your story made me cry. I had "boob issues" my entire life and I can just feel your humiliation.
So sorry that happen to you.
My 10 year old daughter has a roommate. I call her "the boob fairy" because she has taken up permanent residence on MiniSnark's bottom bunk.
She's going to be a big one, just as I was. I warn her. She doesn't want them.
It wasn't so much a boob issue as a general modesty issue. My mother was like Kate. She would jerk up my dress and spank me in front of anyone. She would even do the bare ass spanking. In front of strangers. Men. Anyone. It was incredibly humiliating and I can't even type anymore about it.
having traumatic things done to you as a child and not having an adult who SHOULD be your natural protector defend you, assist you, comfort you, etc can lead to life long scars....i know that firsthand and so do many others here....
we're a strong bunch of ladies, but the odds of all of those kids being strong enough to overcome what their parents (who should be PROTECTING them) have done to them aren't very good....
and yet the show keeps being filmed and there are fucktards who think this is all okay....we should drive to PA and protest outside kate's house....
well written DD and i am sorry that happened to you....
Pat,wow, your story made me realize how extremely dangerous the environment they live in really is.
I never saw it like that, probably because my mother was over-sensitive about modestly,she was your Mom's polar opposite.
I was shocked when they showed the bath scenes,partial nudity, etc., it was so unnatural because of my upbringing,not to mention it
being a perverts dream.
The Gosselins are a disgrace, how can money be that important?
And here I think I had it bad...I'm sorry that happened to you Pat. :(
This story made me ache inside. I'm sorry, Pat. You deserve better than this craziness and it makes me sad that as an adult you have moved next door to your mother and allow the insanity to continue. As the daughter of a crazy controlling woman I also feel the lure of going home. And although I do not know you, I feel badly for you. People like our mothers don't change...... they just grow older, more bitter, and much more judgmental.
Pat,
Once again, you have clearly illustrated how abusive those parents are. How anyone can not see this, is beyond me.
I was very alarmed one time when I had my kids at the public pool, and a man with an expensive camera ( zoom and all) was taking pics of the kids. I could tell that he was by himself. I ran to the lifeguard and asked if he was with the local paper. (You know how pictures of kids at the pool will be in the paper?)
The lifeguard implied that there were complaints about this guy. By the time I got back to where the perv was, just a few seconds, he was gone. I have always regretted not calling the police. And, I am sure, that somewhere on the web, there are close-up pics of kids in their bathing suits because of this guy.
I also recall a Dateline story about a gymnastic coach who was doing the same thing. Taking butt pics of young girls in their leotards.
For all of those who think perverts aren't into that, think again.
There are perverts who are into EVERYTHING. Feet, dirty diapers, hair, anything you can think of and we can't protect children from everything, but, we can respect them and not offer them up to pervs on a silver platter. How many pervs do you think wacked off to Leah in her panties getting her ass beat by Kate? So many it's not even funny. It's frightening and Leah's humiliation will leave scars.
Tia, when I think of what your mother did to you, I want to set her on fire.
Naseem, your story is gripping. Nothing can compare to being a Paki bride. Nothing.
Pat,
I got so emotional the first time I read this I couldn't type.
With your words and shared experience you've cut to the very heart of the Gosselin abuse. Like no one can but one who has lived it.
The fans forever talk of walking in Kate's shoes...You are the only one to date that has shared what is's like to walk in the kids shoes...
To say I'm sorry you've endured this sounds hollow and somehow inadequate, yet I am.
To say I admire the courage it took to put this out there cannot begin to express my opinion of you. I don't have an adj. that would serve my purpose.
To measure the strength it took to survive it is all but impossible. I hear a life experience like this and I am immediatly struck with how fragile we all are, and yet some can demonstrate powers the rest of us cannot even imagine.
Your words have incredible power. Your heart and soul have survived what my mind can barely fathom.
By writing this you have changed me. I'm not even quite sure how but I think you've made me see that what I've searched for, for so long, has been within my grasp all along.
I don't know if this will make any sense to you, but I think it will. I would have put it in an e-mail if I'd had your addy. but if you can have the courage to tell your tale. I can have the stregth to share it's effects on me.
I hope it reaches the Gosselin kids and many others as well.
Thank you...
Pat, I hope too that those people read this. They need a wake up call urgently. I agree with everyone that Lissa is very blessed to have you on her side.
Do the Gosselin kids go to school or are they homeschooled? It is still wrong to exploit them if they arer homeschooled, but if they go to school it's even worse because I can't imagine having to hear comments from the other kids like "Ha ha, I saw you on t.v. sitting on the toilet yesterday" and the like. How humiliating.
I wonder if Kate will try to keep this up when the kids are older. "Oh, Mady, you got your period! Look into the camera and tell everybody about how you bled all over your shorts! How cute! And then tell them about how you had so much trouble putting in a tampon! Ha ha! Kids!"
The worst part is that the kids will not even have anything to show for all this embarrassment. You can tell Jon and Kate will spend ALL the money by the time the kids are adults (already Jon is blowing their money on an apartment for his trashy girlfriend). There won't be a dime left for the kids.
DD
I'm sorry that your mother did not protect you.
I admire that care you give her now regardless
that she let you down. I'm so glad I came
across your blog DD you are so wise and
genuine and not afraid to say what you need
to say. You stand up for the little guy and in
this case the8 little Gosselins. Thank you DD
Thank you for being such a honest, raw and courageous writer, Pat. Not a day goes by that I think about something that you have written and that, my friend, is the true hallmark of a good writer that touches her audience and not only hits them emotionally and makes them think as well.
Hugs a million times over for this blog and your words.
Thanks. I want people to know I don't hate my mother. I think my mother might be mildly retarded. No one else seems to know it (or admit it), but, I think she is. So how can I hate her?
I don't think Kate is retarded, but, she isn't very bright. At all.
Kate's brightish enough to know better and she chooses not to put her children's welfare first. Not only that she does it on reality TV for an audience of fans. It's incomprehensible. How is this even being allowed to continue?
The more I read your post the less I can understand WHY parents allow things like that happen to their children. I wonder what goes through their mind. Do they really enjoy causing such pain? do they really think the kid will "get over it"? IDK. Even though I am sure as heck I don't want any children, cause I simply have no patience nor can we afford them, I am also sure as heck I would not put my own through all that pain and humiliation for any reason. Knowing there are irresponsible, undeserving mean and callous parents out there makes me ill and pisses me off to no end.
Do they think the kid will just get over it? Yes, that's it exactly. They think children don't know anything and don't feel humilation.
I admire you for not having kids if you aren't ready. Smartest thing I've heard all day.
Something I heard that always stuck with me:
If kids are so resilient, why are there so many fucked up adults?
Exactly.
I love that quote, Chrissy.
DD "go for it."
You know what I'm talking about!
I've never understood parents who emotionally abuse their kids like kate and Pat's mother did. Children are innocents who need to be watched and protected.
As a mother raising 2 preschoolers alone after their father died, I was just the opposite of kate.
My grown-up kids will forever talk about how overprotective I was when they were growing up, through their late teens, and even up until they moved out.
Even now, LOL, I'm ready to whip out the mommy-sword and protect my adult cubs.
That's hard to read, and it's no dis on your writing skills. That is so sad that anyone could let that happen to their own child. I'm so sorry that happened and I'm glad you're there for Lissa.
I hate trying to figure out the time stamps (smile) DD, you are only an hour away....but now it's 7/24 and my daughter's 39th BDay.....HAPPY BDAY SHANNON :)!!!!This looks like I am old..I had her when I was 9
Pat - thank you for the way you so eloquently and succinctly express your thoughts. I too grew up in a time and environment where childrens thoughts and feelings didn't matter. This brings back some very uncomfortable memories... and I'm sorry for what you had to go through. Not that that can change it, but in my heart I feel a sadness for the young girl you were that had to endure what I would classify as humiliation. Thank you again for sharing something so personal. Peace...
Happy Birthday, Shannon, your Mommy loves you!
How could you not know what suicide was at that age? Any kid can look it up on the net. You are a lying whore.
hey anon 1:48 why don't you look you on the net 'gofuckyourself'....
There was no net then. It did not exist. We didn't have a TV and there was no library out in the country. YOU, anon, are an idiot.
Anon, you are an ignorant idiot. Amazing what people will spout without checking in with basic common sense.
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