I wear flip flops all Summer. I even wear them to work. I convince myself the fancy ones are sandals, yeah, I know better, I just don't give a fuck. I have this weird thing about my flip flops, I won't wear them more then a week. Two weeks tops, the minute they look worn or dirty, I throw them away. That means it makes sense to buy really cheap ones. I got these two pairs at our shitty little one department store...half off. I was lucky because they never have anything here and if they do, it's never my size..I am always stuck in the friggin' kids shoe department. Gawd, I get sick of wearing Mary Kate and Ashley at my age. Thank goodness the twins think all little girls are whores, or I'd never get anything hot.*
They had a sale at the Dollar Store and plain flip flops were a dollar. So I bought 6 more pair. The sales clerk was a box of rocks, she has a line to hell and back and I figured she was young dumb, so I decided not to be grouchy. The young dumb myth was shattered when she held up my 6 pair of shoes, and with the most confused look on her cowish face, asked seriously "Uhhh, Do you want these in a bag, or what?"
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I just stared at her with my mouth open, weighing my answer. I was thinking, no, bitch, I would like to wear all 6 pair out of here. I am a fucking Caterpillar. Or, noooo, I'm having a flip flop party in the parking lot. In my family we always throw flip flops on the fourth. Or, What are you, fucking retarded? I settled for "That would be nice, thanks." You'd have been proud of me, I think. She was too easy anyway.
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Your turn..tell me about the dumbest sales clerk you ever ran into.
26 comments:
Gawd, when i buy something and get asked if i want it in a bag I think I am gonna scream. Thank you! I am not the only one. Are they only hiring idiots now? Like I am gonna walk outta here with a bottle of shampoo & a box of super maxis in full view, juggling them with my keys, my purse and a gallon of milk? Thank you!!! People are idiots!!!
I gave a cashier a fifty cent piece today with my change and had to explain to the poor child what it was.
Does that count? LOL
I don't know, Heidi. Maybe she really was young, but, jeez. I hate it when the bill totals, like $9.13 and you hand them a $10 and a dime and three pennies and they don't understand that you want a dollar back. They do it over and over, like they can't learn."Uhhh, you gave me too much, duuu."
And yes, Roxy, give me a goddamn bag, 'specially when I buy an 8 pack of Coke. Or a 12 pack of cans..they don't have handles, you dumb ass pimple faced clerk, and I have 6 other bags to carry. WTF, am I an octopuss? If it's a beverage..they don't understand. Milk, pop, water, even juice for cripes sake. And then they always start checking the next person while I struggle and ask them 4 times until they act like it's me who's an ass pain. They act like they pay for the damn bags.
I love when people use the word "pop" for soda. I'm from Maryland so I don't hear it that much unless someone from out of state is around. Then again, here in good old Baltimore we have "zink" for sink, "ool" for oil, and of course the standard greeting "HEY HON"!
Ahhh, I like regional dialects too. Midwesterners have a twang, it's not exactly a drawl, but, close. Yeah, soda is pop. Jeet?=did you eat? Catywhompus, means across on a diagonal. We sound like hicks, I guess we are.
You should come out here to Eastern WA and we should go shopping. You would have lots of new material for the blog. Cripes, that was funny, are you sure you're not a caterpillar, hehehehe!
I had a coupon for "buy one, get one free"; smaller print said, "limit of 6." I placed 6 of the items on the counter and handed over the coupon. Clerk rings up the order and the total was more than it should have been. I politely point this out as I should only be paying for three of the items. Oh no. Clerk said it says "buy one, get One free". Could I speak to the manager I asked? Oh, I was speaking to the manager. Never mind.
The latest one was just annoying. When I go to the grocery store, I have a list and a path. Don't get in my way, I want to get out ASAP. So I get all my stuff on the belt, get out my tote bags and my debit card, ready to pay. I'm just standing there when the clerk stops, and tells me not to swipe my card until he's done and I say "yep" he looks down and then proceeds to give me a lecture about if I swipe my card before he's done it will mess it all up. Now, I've just been standing there, holding my card, not even close to the swiper. I lose it and tell him "dude, I'm just standing here. I'm not going to swipe it yet!" Christ on a cracker, I can't even stand in line without some dimwit assaulting me with asshattery!
My kids think it's hilarious when their cousins from Pennsylvania ask for a drink of wooder!
LMAOOOOOOOOOOO @ asshattery. assault with an asshat. LOLOLOL!
Coffee, you soooooo should have swiped it. LMAO! Then looked at him and said OPPS!
LOL - we say wooder on the jersey shore too... and a washer is worsher. At least our accent isn't obnoxious like north jersey and new york.. eek.
As for stupidest cashier stories, i love when you go in, buy a single pack of gum or something and they give you a whole bag. I guess they have bag issues? lol
And i wear flip flops ALL year.. you get the weirdest looks trampling through snow with them, LMAO. but i have the opposite issue - i fall in love with one pair and duck tape them together to last forever. :P
That cracked me the hell up! Thanks, dirty disher, I needed that laugh.
LMAO@ coffebean! That cracked me up!!!!
I love flip flops. I used to have a favorite pair that the thong part ended up coming apart, but, I stitched it back together through the inch thick foam. It was a pair of black logo bebe flip flops my aunt gave me, with the bebe in rhinestones. I loved them because they where comfy. but I gave them up eventually...I couldn't stitch them anymore.
I buy the heap ones too, they are pretty most of the time!!!
Oh, and the dumbest clerk, to me is the damn touchscreen self checkout. I DESPISE touchscreen with a passion. I wish touchscreen would die a painful death and the creator be thrown to the lions.
I love when people use the word "pop" for soda.
I grew up in Chicago and we all said "POP." Then I moved to California and people would laugh at me when I said it. I've slowly started (after 28 years) to say "soda." However, I still think POP!!!
Here's a little one. Where I work we have a cafeteria. The guy who runs it is an asshole but the girls who work for him are great. They always know what I like and make it great, extra cheese, whatever . . . HOWEVER, everyday one of the girls says, "No drink?" I have never in my 21 years of working at this place purchased a drink in the cafeteria!! I always bring my dietCokes and if I didn't have them, I'd buy from one of the machines around the building, NOT their fountain dietPepsi which I wouldn't buy if I was dying of thirst (yes I would, who am I kidding).
Every day, "No drink?" SHUT UP!
We went out to eat & when we finished went to pay & the cashier took our bill rung it up & said "Did you all eat"? I went to buy some shoes & the girl was giving me some to try on & when I chose what I wanted,she took my old shoes & put them in a bag & put the new ones back in their box. Since I spout off before I think,I said "Are you planning on carrying me to my car?" I paid for my shoes,put on my old ones & left. Allow me to share 1 more with you please. I got a haircolor at Wal Mart & took it home to use. I opened the box & the color packet wasn't in it. I took it back, explained the situation,give her my receipt & she said "Oh were you wanting a haircolor in the box?" I'm serious.
Those were great. I am surprised 10dolls clerk is still alive. Jeeeeeeminy stupid!
I can't stand worn shoes. It reminds me of when I was little.
I was thinking about clerks..you know a good clerk can make or break your day, that's why there's always lines in front of the smart ones.
i have encountered countless nitwit cashiers and now i cannot think of one encounter! typical eh??
wait...here's a couple....
my late beloved mikasa would ONLY eat fancy feast fish 'n shrimp with a certain lot #....when i found it i would buy ALL the cans the store had of it...so i had like almost 100 cans of fancy feast....
the cashier asks me: what are you doing with all this cat food? since i thought it was a dumb question and i was quick thinking that day i replied "i'm making fish chowder for my church dinner"...the look on her face was soooooooooooo funny! i didn't laugh and just kept a straight face....
then another time i was in a dollar store and i bought 30 bags of cat litter (10# size i like to stock up)....the cashier asked why i was buying so much cat litter....i said my septic tank broke and the kids were having to go to the bathroom in their kiddie pool which we filled with cat litter....
i mean, sure these cashiers were making conversation, but why not stick with the weather?
I love it when you go through a drive-thru alone with a drink order for a family of five...and you have to ask for a cup holder. Even if I were wearing one of those drink helmets AND using both of my available cup holders, I'd still be holding a drink. Some people are more dumb than a box of hair.
misstiajournal 11:44- I love that "cat litter in the kiddie pool" comment. I almost choked to death on a bite of hashbrowns! I enjoyed that.
iambriezy 2:11- That happens to us all the time! If I'm the one driving & they hand me a drink ,then another & just keep trying to hand me stuff I'm like "I'm sorry if I mislead you into thinking I'm an octopus,but obviously I'm not,so hold on for a blasted minute".
DD 8:30- Woah back it up for a minute,I never said when I left the store I left the clerks unscathed. I'm never physical with anyone,because that's stupid,but I have to leave my smart ass comments so they have something to remember me by. In my opinion if someone asks a stupid ass comment, that defies any reasonable human logic,it should be pointed out to them. Like the woman who took my shoes & I was telling her to carry me out to my car,she earned every drop of sarcasm I put on that.
That reminds me of something. When I was like 16 or 17,my family had just got home from vacation when my grandma(dads mom,passed away 2000) called & when I answered she said "Well you all home yet"? I said no we're still in TN,thanks for calling" & I hung up. This is before the cell phone boom. I was expecting a huge burst of laughter from my mom & dad,but instead I was given stunned silence. Keep in mind that this was the grandmother that came out to our house one day,ran over my puppy & killed it (accidentally)& then 6 months later said "What kind of dog was that I killed for you?". Not to be shity she was just saying to a friend her grand daughter had a dog that looked like her friends dog,but couldn't remember what breed it was. The "genetic pool" of 10doll,speaks volumes about the woman before you today.LOL
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