That was part of a series I did on riding with Cindi. I've already posted about Cindi and her aliens in Cindi's Light. I took about a hundred pictures of myself and then ended up using only my eyes. I know why I do that and why I don't post my photo a lot on here. Vanity. Oh, sure, I don't want the trolls to have it, that's true, but, it's mostly vanity. I used to be really good looking. No joke, I was hot. I was born with a Pam Anderson body with no surgery and I had a pretty face. I still have great hair, but, the rest of it is gone. It pisses me off sometimes. So, when I do put my photo on here, I don't photoshop it, it's a point of pride not to, but, trust me, I am not above taking 299 pictures and cropping out what I don't like.*
Women can't help but be hung up on their looks. Look at how we are taught! Plastic surgery queens rule the celeb world and a woman over 40 is box office poison with few exceptions. Magazines bombard us with doctored images and you can't even visit a blog site without those stupid weight loss ads. I have this friend I met on here and she puts her own photo on her site every time she posts. When I first clicked her name, my impression was, man, pretty, but, she sure likes herself. But, as I read her and eventually got to emailing her I realized she didn't like herself. At all! Her daily photos are some kind of therapy to help her see herself. She's one of the Earths beautiful people, but, because of terrible things that happened to her, she can't see it. Her view of herself is all distorted. I asked her the other day, geez, I wonder how you'll be able to handle getting old? You know? Because at least I knew I WAS good looking, now I see ruin and fat ass old lady in the mirror and it may piss me off, but, it is a truth. I don't know what my friend sees at all. She's very intelligent and well educated so I guess she will figure it out. She's trying. She's still young. She still reads here and if she wants you to know who she is, she'll tell you.
*
I had this BIG lady come into the shop yesterday and she was asking questions about retirement and what she really wanted to know was, would she lose the weight? She's been big all her life and it's her dream to not be big. Just once. I could see that was not in her future. She is the way she is and it has nothing to do with overeating. I saw another path for her, I saw her accepting herself for the first time and leading other women on a path of acceptance through her writing. I saw The Venus Of Willendorf. Plain as day. She didn't know what that was, which shocked me because she has degrees up the ying. I told her she'd better find out because it was there to guide her. It was like..her totum.
*
I wish we all could just accept ourselves, but, I don't think that's going to happen. Looks are too valuable, still. I tell myself very day, hey, you have a brain, don't sweat the rest. I also have a mirrior though. It says fuck you, lady. I'm pretty sure it even uses the word lady in a sarcastic manner.
*
I eventually became bored with photo shopping techniques and never advanced. I now use it to make fun of Kate Gosselin and I'm happy with that. She deserves it. It's rotten behavior, isn't it?
17 comments:
Have to agree with you on this one. I usually just include my face. I guess my face isn't that bad. But I never include the body. LOL And now, I see even my face is starting to fall. In a way I don't give a shit, but another part of me hates to say goodbye. :-)
Oh well. It's all part of the journey. Everybody has to go through it. And by my book, money can't keep it. Look at all the plastic freaks with their faces stretched out!
Yep. It IS part of the journey and we have to learn to accept it. It sucks though. I see my face turning into my mothers and it jars me. Where is that pretty girl? Maybe she asks herself that too. I agree with you about the plastic freaks..a little might be nice though.
And you have such beautiful eyes. I believe you about your young self. It's weird. I am gonna be 52 next week. I still wear a size 7 or 9 in jeans. But WTH? My waist went someplace other than my body in the past year! It's not on me anymore!! Everything else is same same. Except my neck, which is sloping a bit. Even skinny ppl get that with age, it's not always about weight. So, I dont feel bad about it. Wish it wasnt there tho. "I feel bad about my neck" is the title of a wonderful book. I was told I should read it. I still intend to. I am now in the process of trying to chistle my waist back into somewhat the same dept it once was. I dont get it. I was never heavy. Why do we get this thing going on around the middle? I never thought that would happen to me. I thought I'd be the exception. hahaha..jokes on me. Nature wins every time! We have to love ourselves, thats true. If we dont no one else will. Look at beautiful Paula Deen! She fabulous and she's not thin, maybe never was. I think she is gorgeous. She even showed her flabby droopy wrinkly flat ass on TV once! Her pants accidentally fell down , I mean all the way down! Its on YouTube. Soo funny. But the show must go on. She is so funny. She doesnt worry about her waistline either. She has surrendered to the "butter gods". I'm not there yet. Gawd, I wish I still had a little waist! LOL!!
Roxanne
I have this smiley face where my tummy hangs now. It's so gross. I used to have a concave flatty 6 pack. Now this? Ick. I wear stretch leggings. I won't fight it anymore.
And I'm scared of plastic surgery. I think if you can afford it go ahead its your body. But I really have a low threshold [sp] when it comes to pain. . .
And I like Vicoden so I'm afraid I'd get hooked on it again, lol.
DD, post some pics of you young and hot! We all would love to see!
eating salty, sugary food accelerates the aging process. "you are what you eat". eating healthy, excersing, not smoking and drinking too much is the way to look better...
LOL...I don;t know what I have on here. I'll look.
4:15:00 PM, sorry, not true. I am a smoker, partied hardy and ate any junk I wanted. I didn't start to fall apart until age 50. Sometimes it just doesn't matter.
4:15...please explain Angelina Jolie then! She does all of the above, she may not smoke in public but she & Brad still smoke from what I hear and we know they eat crap. I know 80+ year old ppl that still smoke, still alive! I dont smoke. It's in your genes not your stomach. Not entirely anyway. There is some merit to what you say but not 100% true. It's a crap shoot, life is just the cards you were dealt sometimes.
I think we've all had body image issues at one time of our lives, even for just one second. I know I did, and I did when I was a child. Looking back at my photos when I was 9-10 years old, I see a perfectly healthy and fit child. My aunts and uncles on my dad's side, even his parents, my grandparents, called me "fat", while calling my cousins "pretty princesses" (who turned out to be whacko). ALL the time. Whether they meant good or not, I was convinced I was an ugly kid. I wasn't. It would hurt my mom so much and she would get pissed at them, and, it hurt me too. But I got over it.
When I moved to the US I gained a lot of weight. I mean A LOT. I tried and tried to keep my weight down to my comfort level, but it wasn't working. I am not one to go on diets, and I hate gyms. I accepted myself and moved on. I go to dance class 6 hours a week, plus some more practice at home, eat home made food and call it good.
And no, you are NOT always what you eat. Different people, different metabolism.
i guess something good? about my childhood is that i basically have no sense of self...i dress how i am comfortable and don't really care how others see me...i know i'll be misjudged and i don't really give a shit...
it's what IN the person's shell that counts...you can be dressed to the nines, be blindingly beautiful and have no soul....
the friends i've met here are all beautiful!!!
Earth's beautiful people huh? Hmm.
Yes. Definitly.
50 is early to start falling apart... and I was not necessarily talking about weight (calm down ppl!). By aging I mean skin (wrinkles and sag, firmness), energy, overall health, muscle tone, bone strength, sight, hair, etc, etc...
All of the above and much more greatly depend on what you eat, how much of it and how much you exercise, how much sleep you get and ways you handle stress.
You can argue this all you want but you're only kidding yourself.
Cancers, heart diseases and diabetes are only 15-20% hereditary; the rest is up to you, what you put inside of you and your physical activities. Live healthy and you can prevent those.
And btw, Angelina looks way older than 33. She looks like shit.
And Brad looks like he's at least 50. He has aged pretty fast being with Angelina.
And misstia, you sound like you don't get laid. Looks shouldn't matter, blah, blah... but they always do. ALWAYS.
It might be wrong but that's just the truth. Looks say a lot about you.
(As an example, imagine 2 lawyers you're picking from for your case. One is dressed in shorts, stretched sweatshirt and crocs with a childlish backpack or something working out of his garage. And the other one wears a suit, has a breafcase, stylish office and he's well groomed. Which one appears more successful to you??)
You can type until your fingers fall off. I don't buy it.
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