She cringed and tried to shrink into the wall, she tried very hard to make herself invisible, but, in her head she knew there was no use. Her husband could see her, he could always see her and as he advanced her small frame trembled in fear. Why couldn't she just learn to shut her mouth? Why, why, why did she always have this obsessive need for her own opinion? Why couldn't she just let him have the last word and be the boss? He grabbed her arm, hard, and she winced, knowing it would leave a bruise she'd have to cover, but, also knowing that the pain would get worse before he was finished making his point. She tried desperately to reason with him. "I didn't mean it, I was stupid, please, I say such stupid things, please!" She knew it was no good, she knew he was going to hurt her this time. He was a big man, powerful, his grip on her arm tightened and his face reflected his rage. She felt her bladder give way and she knew she had peed herself a little from the terror. He jerked her towards him and her head hit his chest. He began to hit her very hard on the back and ass. It stung and her muscles contracted trying to ward off the blows. Each new blow brought a new fire to her already damaged skin. He continued beating her while she screamed and pleaded. Finally he let go of her arn and she slid down the wall to the floor in a heap. She knew from experience that the marks on her backside would last a few days and that sitting would be uncomfortable on the tender aching spots....Go to comments.....
48 comments:
NOW...change the female charactor to a small five year old child and the husband to the child's mother. It's legal now and perfectly fine.
did he hit lisa?
oh my god, kill him
No. It's about spanking and how people say it's okay.
christ.
thank god, thought i was going to have to go to guntown with my 9 mil.
never hit a child! they are people not chatle.
kim
What prompted this?
A photo of a baby with bruises on his legs that a judge deemed "within parental rights of disipline."
I don't understand why it's okay to hit anyone, let alone a small child who can't defend themselves. Maybe I should ask Kate Gosselin, since it's okay for her to do it.
Yes. It's just fine. It's disipline.
If it was a dog the groups would be all "up in arms" and protesting.
Makes me sick. I spanked my kid ONCE. She had a hand print on her butt. I felt guilty and she didn't care. It wasn't worth it.
My anger is more frightening to her than a slap on the butt. She'd rather have a spanking than lose the privilege of using the computer.
I've having a "discussion" with somebody about all this. Since these kids aren't beaten to a pulp, it's just okay! I hate people. dumb people especially.
Either scenario, it is abuse and it is wrong. No question, no ifs ands or buts.
At first I was going to say that I can't come here and read something like that, Pat. I lost a very good friend 2 years ago, she was murdered and dismembered by her husband. On top of that,I grew up watching my father beat the daylight out of my mom.
Then I saw that you were making a point. And I agree. Abuse is abuse is abuse. It may start out little but it always escalates and it never ends well.
Children learn nothing from being hit. The thought just makes me sick to my stomach.
my mom spanked me LIGHTLY when i was a child. she never BEAT me and there were never marks on my body. i'm not sorry that she did it, i never cried because she did it. i think i'm honestly a better person because she did. in my case it certainly wasn't child abuse.
i'm very much against child abuse, but the way i was spanked was not abusive. my mother never set out to hurt me and never did.
Biz- I'm so sorry about your friend. That's horrific.
Point well made on this though. It's bringing back some not so pleasant memories and I feel sick to my stomach. People need to learn to violence doesn't solve anything.
I don't "get" spanking. Parents who do it say they don't hurt the kid, but then what's the point? Do you just want to grab their ass or something?
I don't want to make my kids scared of life. No spankings. You can take something that they love away until they behave... because in the grown up world if you do something bad you get your freedom taken away.
As for Kate Gosselin, she is disgusting and evil. What she and Jon are doing to those 8 kids is child abuse, without visable scars. Fucking bitch.
i was wondering how long it would be until kate was dragged into this *yawn*
Anon @ 6:16pm.
Soraay. Next time I'll ask you for fucking permission on what I can and can't post. Asshole.
I was never hit as a child. None of my four were ever hit.
Hitting a child teaches that child that violence is an acceptable path to resolution of conflict. It isn't.
It confuses the child and reduces parental credibility when a child is hit and then disciplined for, modeling that same action and hitting another person or child.
I'm sure there are rare instances where spanking wasn't taken to an extreme and everyone came through just fine. It is RARE, very rare for an adult to be in a loving and controled state while hitting a child.
I always wonder why, if the adult was so controlled and loving didn't they calmly remove the child from the danger or wrong doing or talk to the child?
Babies cannot understand reason and need to be removed and carefully monitored by an adult to be safe. Two year olds and up can understand the word no and simple forms of explanations.
Children, under proper supervision and with consistent reinforcement can easily learn boundries of actions and behaviors without being physically struck.
That story is so upsetting. A baby with bruises. There's absolutely no excuse for that kind of evil.
Makes me sick to my stomach. I can't stand the thought of violence and abuse - it's wrong, regardless of the situation. There are so many children out there being abused on a daily basis and knowing that parents get away with it makes me want to scream and give them a taste of what it feels like, parents and judge included.
I cannot believe it would cross anyone's mind that it was Lis. If someone hit Lis, I couldn't blog because I'd be in jail.
"You can take something that they love away until they behave... because in the grown up world if you do something bad you get your freedom taken away." F'Everybody, best logic I've heard in a LONG time re: discipline. Thank you. And my two cents? My mom disciplined me through intimidation and slapped me at least twice in my life. Guess what kind of relationship we DON'T have even now? I will NEVER trust her, nor will I forgive her for what she did. That bitch knew better, and you'll never convince me otherwise.
Pat, where's this story you mentioned? Is this on CNN.com?
10G (Gina)
No, I saw it on Nancy Grace about that little girl that vanished, Haleigh Commings, it was a while back and it's bothered me ever since. She has a little brother and they were investigating possible abuse in the home, but, the judge who heard the case said they were within their parental disiplinary rights to hit that toddler until the back of his legs had bruises. He called it "within the range normal disipline." It broke my heart and I can't get that kid out of my head.
Goodness gracious.
Biz, I'm sorry about your friend. It's hard enough to lose a friend without violence involed. Terrible thing.
ANYTIME there are bruises left on a child for "disciplinary reasons", it is ceases to be about discipline.
Thanks. It was the most devastating, most tragic and most eye opening thing in my life. If only one of us had spoken up when we saw the signs, because there were so many. I don't go a day without thinking about it, or her, or her children.
www.taralynngrant.com
F'EVERYBODY & NINA & PEGGY ANN--- VERY WELL SAID.
I don't understand how striking your child is "within parental rights of disipline". They are people. Not possessions.
Don't give me the "spare the rod, spoil the child" shit either. The "rod" in that scripture meant the staff used by shepherds. Ever see shepherds depicted as beating their sheep with that rod? No. They guided them GENTLY with it. Which is what sparing the rod meant. Hitting your child not gentle guidance. No god would EVER sanction beating a child.
sorry typo
I meant to say hitting your child *is* not gentle guidance
I said this when the "Kate hitting Leah" pic came out & I will always feel that if she had been hitting a dog like that,her ass would have been in trouble! When in America,did children start having less rights than animals? I don't want my kids afraid of me. I don't want them to get in trouble & fear me. Worry about the consequences of their actions,like losing a IPOD,XBOX,TV? Yes. That has a way bigger effect on my kids than spanking ever could! They would probably at times would prefer some swats compared to the loss of stuff.
6:16 Anon- You're such a ridiculous idiot! Why don't you go wave your "I LOVE KATE" banner somewhere else?
Biz- I made it through about 10 seconds of the video of your friend & I had to stop. I hope this isn't a horrible thing to ask,but was this profiled on a tv show? It looks familiar to me. I wish I could come up with words that could adequately express my sympathy for you & your dear friends family,but they all pale in comparison to the unbearable sadness you all must feel. You all are in my thoughts & prayers & she's lucky to have loved ones that continue to share her story & show their unending love for her. We should all be so lucky to have family & friends like you all.
10doll- if you live anywhere near Michigan than it was all over your local news, and it did make national news a few times. I know it is difficult to watch, thank you for the kind words. I hope women/people everywhere not only learn her story but learn from it.
Biz,
My heart goes out to you and the family. Loss is bad enough but in such a devastating way makes it so much worse.
Frimmy,
I made the rhubarb pie and it was a huge hit with the fam. Thanks again.
Biz- On the site it mentioned Dateline covered it & that's where I heard about it. I remember small details that make me believe this is the case I'm thinking of & nothing on the site mentioned this info, so I'll say I'm pretty sure this is the one I think it is. Once again,my thoughts & prayers are with you all.
Biz- The husband should die regardless,but if I'm right about the details in this case,then he should be tortured for days & then killed!
10doll- That was probably it. I believe he is serving 50 years to life, but I may have the years wrongs, either way he has no hope to get out. That doesn't feel like enough tho. The punishment could never fit the crim. I won't recount the details here because they are FAR TOO GRUESOME, except to say that he murdered his wife with his children in the next room and then went on to do things so horrific, it makes me question if he is even human. The kids lost both their parents that day, I can't even imagine how difficult it is and will continue to be for them. Some days I forget that it happened and wonder what Tara's doing, then it hits me again.
You can google her name if you want to know, but just be prepared.
Her sister and the rest of the family and friends have become very involved with Turning Point, an organization that helps battered women get out and start their lives over.I guess that is the "up side" of all of this. Hopefully it raises awareness and helps other women who might not recognize the signs.
Thank you all for the kind thoughts, but I didn't mean to take away from DD's post.
I was just telling my husband the story and he couldn't believe it either. Beyond the parents obvious issues, what is wrong with that judge? He had the opportunity to save a child's life (literally & figuratively) and yet he decided to put him back into danger.
I think the parents, and all the others who beat their children, should be sentenced to be eternally beaten by someone 10 times their strength, size, height and weight.
Biz, your posts were important. No one should suffer abuse. I watched that stuff growing up and I hope your friends kids are doing alright. I hope they had other family.
Teaching in an inner ring suburb changed my mind about the benefit of any kind of hitting as discipline for a child. Many of our students had no structure to their lives, and discipline consisted of being "whupped" if they upset their parents for any reason. Accepting the structure of school was difficult for some, and getting their clip moved or not getting a star for the day, just didn't give them an impetus to do the right thing. Why? Because they had not developed any internal controls. Control was totally external. Do that, and it will cause you pain. We couldn't "whup" them, so they didn't see any reason not to do the things WE didn't want them to do. It made accepting the discipline of school difficult for many children. Of course, we teachers could call home, and then...
I taught too, here, rural. Yep, I know what you're saying.
I was spanked as a child (a lot). I hated it. When I was under 6, my mom would spank us with a switch (the kind used to hold up just planted trees). She would always say that she was doing it in love (it never felt that way!!) When I was 7, she married my step dad, and he would spank me with his thick security guard belt (the kind that is really thick and holds all kinds of equipment). He would also spank me with a thick cutting board and a wooden spoon. We would usually get hit 10 times, and if you moved, your back and legs got hit. It felt like absolute torture and I always thought it would never end. I was a good kid, but he would spank over everything (along will slapping me across the face and yelling a cussing at me for hours (while punching the wall by my head for good measure). I can count on one hand the number of times I have spanked my 12 and 8 year old kids, and it was when I was much younger. First off, I was always told not to spank in anger, but really, that's what spanking is. A reaction of anger to something the kids have done. Also, I hit them 1 time, not 10, and it was with my hand. I felt so bad after, and it never felt like a good way to punish them. I've found that taking a privilege away works wonders. I am completely against spankings. I was abused as a kid, but it's a thin line, and it doesn't take much to lose control.
Abuse is abuse is abuse.
************************
They only hit until you cry
And after that you dont ask why
You just dont argue anymore
You just dont argue anymore
You just dont argue anymore
My name is Luka
I live on the second floor
I live upstairs from you
Yes I think youve seen me before
If you hear something late at night
Some kind of trouble. some kind of fight
Just dont ask me what it was
Just dont ask me what it was
Just dont ask me what it was
Biz- Can I ask if this is the case where the cops came to the house & camera people caught the husband walking the dog in the snow & he ran away? He was found later suffering from hypothermia? Would you mind saying if this is the case I'm thinking of & if it's not I'll look her name up,but if it is there's no way I want to read about that crime. My heart truly aches for all of you. Don't go into detail,just yes that is it or no.
This isn't an "abuse or murder from someone you know" case,but my friend took her kids to daycare & then stopped to get gas & was kidnapped. She was taken to various ATM's & each ATM picture showed she had been beat up more than the previous ATM picture. He then took her to a field & raped her numerous times,beat her up more & then strangled & buried her. They found her days later. They said she repeatedly begged for her life. He got life. What punishment is truly sufficient in comparison with this dirtbag or Tara's husband? There's not one imo.
http://caselaw.lp.findlaw.com/scripts/getcase.pl?court=ar&vol=supreme/1999a/19990610/cr97-949&invol=2 -------------------------------------------------- Here's her case if anyone's interested. Women like Stacy & Tara don't deserve to be done like this by a stranger & for God's sake not by their loved ones.
10doll -- That's it. Her name was Tara Grant, it's in the website I posted many comments ago.
Biz- Why when I'm so wrong about so much,why did that have to be what I remember? I remember that episode just like I just watched it. It stuck with me almost word for word. Who knew one day I'd run across her best friend on the internet? Tara's family & friends are in our thoughts & prayers.
Biz- Lastly,I hope I haven't upset you by drudging that up. If so I apologize deeply.
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