Lantana growing outside my door and the big quartz rock I've carried around for decades. It's my lucky rock, but, it's not working today. I'm up early to get some blood work done and that means no coffee. My Mother just informed me that she gave my computer away to my cousin. I just looked at her. She continued blabbing on about how I said it doesn't work and even though he's never had a computer, she's sure he can fix it because he works on cars. Yeah, that's the same thing. What I'd actually said was that my computer connection wasn't working right the other day when it was raining so hard. I was outside checking the cable where it comes into the house when she wanted to know what I was doing.*
I finally stopped her and I said "You can't do that. Period." She got upset and started asking what in hell was wrong with me and she was going to buy me a brand new computer and he needs a computer and she's already told him he could have it and he was coming to pick it up and what was my problem? I told her computers aren't like other appliances, that you have personal stuff on them and programs and photos. She was livid. She'd PROMISED him a computer! That's too bad, isn't it? And I asked her where she's planning on buying this fancy new computer for me and she said, well, the computer store, she guessed. We don't even have a wal-mart here, there is no place to even buy a computer. I finally got mad and yelled at her to leave my computer the fuck alone. It's MY computer and I'm using it.
*
She's still mad. She promised my cousin a free computer and now I've ruined her generous plans. I have a massive headache and I'm half afraid to go to the doctors office. If I don't post any more today, you'll know I have no computer. I wouldn't be surprised if I go out to the driveway and find my car gone. And I'm not even joking about that, it's happened several times. Locks are only a minor deterrent to her, so don't suggest that.
32 comments:
Unplug it, put it in your car and take it with you. Seriously.
I would take the tower with you when you go to the doctor. That is crazy that she would give away your stuff. I hope everything goes well at the doctor!
Pat, I know you've said that your mom "has always been like that", period. But I really thing there is something BIG time wrong with her, its definitely not normal to start giving away other peoples things, but hey you know that better than me, you deal with her on a daily basis. One day she is going to move you out of the house while you are out doing something and you'll find all your stuff in the yard when you get back.... I think you have a big problem ahead of you my friend and I do hope you can somehow come up with a solution... for your own sake, not hers.
Oh man! Sorry but that made me chuckle. I doubt she'll figure out how to unplug it anyway. Tell her to take him to the "computer store" and buy him one if she's that hard up on getting him one.
Maybe there's a rule that you have to be annoying in every way possible to you kids when you hit a certain old age. You should actually give it back to her and tell her you sold her trash that she saves.
~ Jess
My suggestion...do a google search for nursing homes in your area and leave that page up on your screen whenever you leave the house.
Pat - I can't tell you how pissed off I am about this. I hate stupid people and to have to deal with this would drive me nuts. I'm waiting to hear how it all works out.
Nadine, she already DID move me out of my house while I was gone. I thought I told that story. I lost my home over it. They are all CRAZY.
Iambiezy, I liked that suggestion.
I love it...he's a mechanic so he can work on your computer!!! Too funny DD. I'm sorry! I know I shouldn't be laughing at your misfortune, but your Mom is crazy.
Maybe the cousin will be smart enough to know auntie can't give away your computer. Geez what a deal.
That house looks real familiar. Bet I have been by it. Looks like it might be a little cold in the winter. Take it over in the spring. It will be a kind time of year to evict the animal residents. Even though you don't mind living with coons, a whole family of them would be like living with 19 toddlers.
That might be an interesting Pro-Con List -
Luella? Coon Family?
Messes with my stuff.
yes yes
Leaves treasures/trash in the yard.
yes yes
Walks in without knocking.
yes yes
I guess it depends on how often the coons need to go to the Bank and the Dollar store?
If I get that house, I want a Doberman.
LMAO! You know me well. I have decided not to live with raccoons anymore......unless there's one really little orphan...no, NO, I won't live with Raccoons anymore! LOL!
my dr. told me i could have coffee before blood work as long as i did not put sugar or creamer or anything in it---just black coffee and that i did NOT tell the lab people that!!! she said it would not affect my results and i was having cholesterol, and all that other stuff checked...
start taking your tower with you!!!
she should go buy the cousin a new computer....geesh...
starting leaving post it notes around "find nursing home for mom" all over!
DD;
My mom used to give my stuff away, too. Always the stuff I really needed or wanted, had saved and saved to buy, etc. I read some books after she passed, that really helped me. I wish that I would have had this information before she passed. It wouldn't have helped her, but it would have helped me. A really good one is: "Survivng A Borderline Parent", by Kimberlee Roth and Freda B. Friedman, PH.D., LCSW
This book helped me a lot. They must've known her.
Also, I agree that you need to load up your computer and take it with you when you leave. Man, I can't believe that she even told you of her intentions! Ol lady must be slipping!!
Taking the tower is kind of an awful job with all those plugs behind it. She thinks the monitor is the computer anyway.
I can't stand people who feel entitled to everything. People who have no self awarness. People pleasers who will stab their own in the back to please other people..
There ya go. That's how it started I'm sure. It sure wasn't because she wants me to have a new computer. It was to impress the relatives with her generosity.
DD;
It would be great if you could set up a hidden camera in your house that you can monitor at work. People do this thing with their pets, and they watch them while they're working. Does your mom rifle through your shit when you aren't there?
Gsawd, only two really mean things come to my mean little mind.Give away her dryer and jack up the clothes line to the proper height.
Do you have siblings? Perhaps they could help you with your mom. She really does need to be in a facility so that you can enjoy your life.
Chain it down.
3 words: Back up file
That way if the batty old bird does manage to take it you wont have lost everything.
Hope the day gets better.
Yes, Cut, and she takes anything she wants and replaces anything she doesn't like.
2:59:00, I have a brother in a mental institute, you think he has any good ideas?
Change the locks and don't give out keys. I agree with others that your Mom's behavior is not normal--she may be suffering from dementia, Pat. I've told my kids that I do not want to live near or with them when I can't take care of myself. I've prepared for old age by getting long term health insurance and a living will in case my mind goes first or I have a stroke and I'm incapacitated, but still alive.
Hmmm...maybe Obama isn't all that wrong. I hope someone puts me out of my misery before I become abusive to my kids. With my luck, though, they'll close all nursing homes, and I will have spent so much money for nothing.
Sorry for your troubles, Pat.
Crabbie, was on the right track, but instead of chaining down the pc, I'd chain down Ma! A little duck-tape over the mouth, and unplug her phone, padlocked interior room with no windows, a few padlocks on the outer doors so the sister's can't get in to set her free and you might be able to leave with some peace of mind.
I don't know how you cope with her. I'm pretty sure that inside a week I'd be in a jumpsuit with numbers!
This is so frustrating! It concerns me because I think my mother is on her way to following in your mother's footsteps. She wears me out. Then I have the schizophrenic/ bipolar aunt to deal with. Woohoo! It makes me fear for my own sanity. I think you seem to be handling it much better than I would.
I'll say a little prayer for your computer's safety.
I'm so sorry, DD, but this post made me chuckle...I would totally take the tower with me too, even though I know it is a pain to plug/unplug everything. That AND the post it notes with nursing homes numbers all over the place. That would sure scare her some. Even though you said locks don't stop her, change your locks!! And don't give away extra copies of your keys. I wonder if you can mock an 'alarm system'...as in just install something that makes a lot of really loud noise to scare the shit out of your relatives.....OR! Do the practical jokes Home Alone style!
What do you do for work DD? I am just curious and you don't need to be specific at all.
I really enjoy the stories. All families are crazy to a degree, but you Mom sounds like she is tuff to handle.
Pat I think your brother is finally feeling safe in the institution! No wonder he wound up there.... you have to be pretty tough to stay grounded with a mom like yours.
Sell Eric's house and buy the one you love and yes, you NEED vicious dogs with a very high fence. That would delay her a little while, if not actually keep her out.
DD fan, I'm a Tarot reader. I can't read my own cards though, or I'd see her comin'.
No dog would keep her out. She loves dogs and is the original dog whisperer. Loony dog whisperer.
dirty disher- You need to move away from her or move her away from you. Is this how you want to spend the rest of your life? Lissa needs her grandma to be strong & putting up with your mom is taking time & energy that could be used on Lissa. Sit your mom down,look her in the eyes & tell her that the days of terrorizing you are over & you will put her in a home if she can't follow your new rules. No hesitating,no 2nd chances.Straight to a home.Don't pussy foot around it & beg her to call your bluff & her ass will be gone!
She'll never be gone. If she dies first, she will still be in my head. I like how people think I can just up and move. Can't.
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