Saturday, November 28, 2009

Keep it in your pants, Tiger

Think you had a rough holiday? Can you believe this mess? America's golden boy, Tiger Woods, who can do no wrong, gets caught screwing around on his innocent looking model wife with some real skanko and then runs his Cadillac into a hydrant and a tree pulling out of his own driveway...at 2:30 in the morning. Reports say Tiger was knocked unconscious by the wreck and his wife had to smash a window with a golf club to pull his ass out. When the ambulance arrived he was laying in the street with her over him and he had facial lacerations.
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Now reports say the lacerations weren't from the crash. She slashed him up with her super nails before he even got in his car. Please, anyone with any experience in domestic violence only had to read, car crash, no alcohol involved and 2 am to figure out what happened. She was probably hitting him in the face with a TMZ print out of his skank. Isn't anyone normal anymore? When Tiger can't even keep it in his pants, I guess not.
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I could save every married person some trouble by telling them the truth. Of course you're bored. But, whoever you're screwing around with will eventually be boring as shit too, so you might as well stay home and wank off.

14 comments:

Anonymous said...

Oh, there is so much truth to that!

Unknown said...

That would explain why my mom was in such a bad fin mood yesterday. Her golden boy is a bad boy...

His wife is probably upset since tiger did take her out of a nanny position and gave her everything a girl ever wanted. Talk about a cinderala moment.

miss tia said...

good for her!!!!

now tiger will be known as the pussy golfer who got beat up by his wife for being a slut!

MonicaW42 said...

sigh....Men and their DNA... The supposed ho bag was also boning ha ha the dude that plays the FBI agent on BONES. David Borantz. She was screwing him while his wife was pregnant. She apparently is a star fucker. I love women who go after married men when the wives are pregnant. Being pregnant myself and I found that out.. I have a shovel and plenty of desert for the ho bag and the husband.
And most of the time, the man NEVER leaves the wife. So the skank was just a lay. She must feel so proud of herself.

PeggyAnn said...

Pat... so true. LOL!

Shelly said...

He's what me and my sisters call a "Huxtable". A non threatening black man. Too bad he's a pig mother fucker. I've pretty much had it. I started working at this little store a few months ago. The owners husband was constantly asking me personal questions, which I didn't think much about cause he's dumber than shit, and then made his move. I was in the walk in cooler stocking beer and he cornered me and put his hands on my shoulders and jerked me back. I was in shock. I pulled myself together and told him if it ever happened again I was walking out and telling EVERYBODY why. What an asshole. How dare he put his fucking hands on me. I'm still pissed. Men are such fucking pigs, I really doubt I'll find a companion. That makes me kind of sad too because I really do love men.

Anonymous said...

Tiger has controlled his image from the beginning.

I never liked him. Especially since he and his dad built this hero worship, father of the century bullshit about Earl. Tiger's dad, Earl, walked out on his first family...yeah, he was in Tiger's life, mentoring him, but the guy had other children he ignored. Some hero.

It's amazing how many people look up to hypocrites like Tiger and his dad.

People are so fucking gullible. They think what the PR machines want them to believe.

Am I a terrible person for not feeling bad this asshat's image is tarnished?

coffeebean said...

Is anyone happy anymore? Man, if you don't want to be married, just be an adult and tell your spouse. Don't freakin cat around, risk your spouse, and hurt people.

valle said...

aint' that the truth! these fuckers think the wife ain't thinkin bout something else while he sits and picks his nose in front of you and shits with the door open?

Alison said...

Tiger is very very rich, which is probably the reason he decided to go the cheating route instead of the divorce route. I don't know if he has a pre-nup, but even if he does, the divorce will cost him millions. Elin will get tons of child support for their two kids and probably a lot of alimony plus houses, cars and all the other big-money items they own.

Anyway, no matter what the reason, Tiger is an ass for cheating. I hate cheaters.

Bill said...

Man that is one dumbass. Why do some men think they need to fuck every pussy thats offered? As a man I dont get it. Why get married. But I see it all the time. Have been hit on even though I said I was married. I just think 70% of people are fucked up. Probably why I really dont like people. Sorry I rambled.

Anonymous said...

So, finally people see him for what he really is.
I can barely tolerate his smug sorry ass, and the hero worship this guy receives is enough to gag a goat.
Glad he got caught, however, being tasered while running out the front door with his pants down around his ankles would have been marginally better.

Dirty Disher said...

Shelly, that's bad. I wish I had some advice, but, they usually get away with it.

David Borantz? Wasn't he Angel? I like that Bones show.

Dirty Disher said...

Now it's coming out that Tiger's wife broke his car windows with the golf club before he crashed. She was pissed. She was chasing him down the road with the golf clubs when he crashed. LMAO!