The old lady caught me in the driveway today and said "You didn't come for Thanksgiving, you said you'd come!" And I said, no, I said I wasn't coming. And she goes, oh, yes, you did, you said you were coming. I said, no, I said it's a stupid fucking holiday and I am not coming and never coming again. And she said, you said you were coming.*
She used to get away with this blatant lying, she DOES get away with it all the time. She thinks everyone is as stupid as she is. Why would I even say I was coming, when I would rather be set on fire? Finally I thought I'd end this idiot conversation by saying "Go fuck yourself with a drumstick." She one upped me by yelling "I made ROAST!"
*
Family, man, that's what the season is about.
13 comments:
Your mom's comeback is gold because it's so ridiculous. The main insult wasn't whether she made turkey or roast, it was that you told her to go fuck herself. She totally missed the point, which I find hilarious.
As for the lying, I have a sister who's the same way and so is my father. They are always insisting they are right...they lie lie lie. I used to get upset and now I don't care. They can choose to believe what they want. No matter to me.
Isn't it bizarre? I mean, they're obviously straight up lying and no one calls them on it. Fuck.
I'm sorry but her comeback was pretty funny, but did she even realize u told her to fuck herself with a piece of poultry?
She didn't care Sole, she's used to it. It was pretty funny though.
That is so funny! I can just imagine how that went down. I'm still laughing!! DD rocks!
Oh my fucking word. Between this and the Walmart massacre, you are my hero lol.You have the guts to do and say what I don't.
Move.
You actually said that to her? Although I'm 100 % on your side, (I have a narcissistic brother and mother who have an emotionally incestuous relationship and a poor relationship with the truth), I can see why they call you bad and crazy. They drive you to the edge of insanity, then insult you when you express some of your frustration. Been there, but haven't gone as far verbally. Maybe if I had your wit, I wouldn't be able to keep quiet.
I have that exact picture and words on a kitchen towel! I lovethat artist. I even bought the 2009 calander last year.
Same family craziness here. And I can agree with the way my family drives me to the edge of insanity, then insults me when I express my frustration. They are masters at this and then turn the situation around. Oh, and the gaslighting. The glorious gaslighting. That word has become part of my regular vocabulary.
Today I was told I wasn't allowed to talk. I'm a grown-ass woman! I got so pissed off I smashed a plate all over the floor and left it there.
I am counting the days until I can cut off all ties completely.
Yay for smashed plates!
LOL omg dd you and your mom should be in a play or stand up. I would watch it. Love the one liner to about the drumstick ha ha...
This kind of reminds me of mine and Shay~Shay's fights that we had the four days I was off..."Shay~Shay pick your toys up", No, Yes, No, Yes, Nuh uh, Uh huh, nuh uh, uh huh, Nope, yep, nope, yep.
Never mind I don't think Shay nor I will ever be your mom's type of crazy.
Connie
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