'Twas the night before Christmas..troll version

'Twas the night before Christmas in the trolls double wide,

and behind a computer screen they chose to hide,

Their neglected children in pee smelling beds,

complained to the trolls about lice in their heads,

the trolls yelled "shut up, can't you see I'm a typin'?"

"Shut it you brat, Santa don't come when yer gripin'!"

*

"You GD kids make me sick, go sleep in yer clothes

and don't fuck with me, you little snot nose!

You aint got no pyjamas, you think we're rich?

Like Nina that reality McMansion bitch?"

*
Then back to the screen they turned with real hate,

And said "I'll show you what happens when you fuck with Kate!"

And site after site was hit by anon,

and they didn't think that their Jesus looked on.

*

But, Jesus and Santa were watching the troll,

and they thought to themselves, there's a lot they don't know.

Troll spent the welfare on liquor and dope

Their poor little children did not have a hope.

*

Santa and Jesus said enough is enough

This troll thinks we're soft, but, we can be tough!

And to the foul slum there arose such a clatter,

the troll dropped their drink and yelled "Hey wazzamatter?

*

And into the door of the anonymous lurkers

Santa and Jesus sent nice social workers!

They scooped up the children and took them away

And the trolls went to Jail on Christmas day.

*
The kids were adopted to lead a good life,

and be completely adored by a man and his wife..

who were Pagans (!) and taught the kids about Yule,

and they got new bikes, a bath, and enrolled in a school!

*

And the Troll stayed in jail, with no cable or court,

because a judge said they're guilty of non child support.

And harassment, possession and computer blackmail

and he banged his gavel and said "Stay in jail!"

*

And as Santa sprung to his sleigh on this cold snowy night..

he yelled " Merry Christmas to all, 'twas a helluva fight!"

And Jesus, he smiled so sweet and then he gave a wink,

because Jesus is busy, but, he knows trolls stink!