I dream of being stranded alone on an island. A nice clean island with no relatives. In my dream I have cable. Sigh. But, it will never happen. Instead I live in.....I don't even know what to call it anymore..Hell would have better landscaping. My mother, the crazy bitch, is remodeling her house. You think that's a good thing? Then you obviously don't read this blog. She could be spending her money on something that would improve that dump, she desperately needs siding, but, nooooo. To heck with the mismatched crap that covers her house, she's redoing the inside. Basically, she's having the kitchen ripped out and set the other way, while managing to keep all the worn out crap. In other words, the crusty sink and greasy stove will be on the North now and the shitty table piled high with debris will be to the South. 18 layers of shitty linoleum have been removed and are laying in the yard. Two closets also lay in the yard. Duct tapped plumbing has been rerouted.
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She's really pleased about that. It took me a year to clean up her yard and now it's a trash dump again. She's so happy. I give up. I wouldn't even care except that most of the crap is now laying in front of my house. She likes that. I'm not well enough to fight it. A service van is parked at her side door all day, blocking the driveway that leads to my front door. Dirty snow on either side of it, there's no way around it. The dog has to poop in the walkway. I picked it up, but, I was really tempted to throw it in the guys van. It's just an absolutely filthy disgusting muddy mess here and the end result will be just as red neck white trash as it's always been. It's depressing.
She's really pleased about that. It took me a year to clean up her yard and now it's a trash dump again. She's so happy. I give up. I wouldn't even care except that most of the crap is now laying in front of my house. She likes that. I'm not well enough to fight it. A service van is parked at her side door all day, blocking the driveway that leads to my front door. Dirty snow on either side of it, there's no way around it. The dog has to poop in the walkway. I picked it up, but, I was really tempted to throw it in the guys van. It's just an absolutely filthy disgusting muddy mess here and the end result will be just as red neck white trash as it's always been. It's depressing.
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I saw him carrying in what looked like used paneling. WTF? She saw me looking at it and stuck her head out the door and yelled "Isn't that nice, it looks just like real wood." No, it looks like the cheap shit people throw away. What's next? Used shag carpeting? Roofing with plastic wrap? Another addition made of plywood? And old toilet in the front yard with petunia's planted in it? (again?)
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I don't want to live in the same town with this stupid woman, let alone next door.
20 comments:
I feel like a bad person saying it, but, she can't live forever, though I know it feels like she will.
Seriously, you should have given in to the urge to pitch that crap in the van. It might have made you feel better, and as non-verbal statements go, I think it's a good one.
It's really crappy of her to have all that debris piled in front of your place, and in the yard you worked so hard to clean. It just sucks.
Despite the fact that it looks like brown, yucky snow out there, I am glad to hear that your snow is starting to melt away. At least you won't be cold, and will be able to walk outside when you feel like it.
I've been thinking of you, and hope you're feeling better.
I am so torn every time I read an update about your mother. The reader part of me is delighted with each new tale but the human part of me is horrified that this is a REAL PERSON!
You now have your own little poop manufacturer to use against her if she throws anything in your yard.
Oh sheesh Pat, she never fucking stops does she? I feel for you, I think I would have wrung her neck at this point. I hate that she not only fucks her yard up but yours also. Can you put up a 6 foot privacy fence with padlocked gate? I think that will be the only way for you to not have to see this bullshit. Thinking of you.
No, the way the houses are so close and zig zag with her loony additions, there is no way to put a fence between us. She is intent on living in a garbage dump and she's always been that way. And I am not exagerating..it's really bad. It looks like hell.
Pat,
Well gosh damn it anyway. That Mother thing of yours makes me so
mad. If you lived closer, I would drive you up to our 10 acres and let you live in our camper...it would be better than where you are now...and NO CLOSE
NEIGHBORS to mess with you. It
has heat, solar electric, etc.
Not a "Home" but at least away from
crap...that is why I like it and I am no "camper".
sorry pat....that doesn't quite do anything for you, but please know others empathize with you....
i would have tossed the dog shit at his van!
it's a shame there's no department in your town that would require her to clean that up, but i know how small towns in iowa are!
focus on niki, lis, and yourself! oh and bee bee too!!
FUCK INSANE MOTHERS!!!
yes, i'm including mine in that fuck too!
That's probably the last thing you needed now. Not that you would EVER need that but I know that you are struggling with your health and I can't imagine that helping at all.
Will the "van guy" remove the linoleum and other (s)crap left in front of your house? I hope so...
you crack me up. I have a dream that I can read a book uninterrupted for 30 minutes. Oh and we have wood paneling in our home. It came with the house circa 1969. My husband says it's nice paneling. Nice paneling is mahogany (sp?) We don't have that.
I don't mean your situation cracks me up. Your mom is nuts. You make me laugh.
Aww Pat - just what you need - more stress!
Who dumped all that interior shit from your mother's house onto your front yard? If it was the handyman, I'd be up in his face and making him remove it. And if he's blocking your egress with his van - tell him to move it to the street! Chances are he asked about it and your mother told him you wouldn't mind.
And I LOVE your island picture! I shall now take a few minutes to daydream about it......
Throw the dog crap on your mom's front lawn. The van blocking your driveway is because of her anyways.
I picture your mom's house like one of the houses on that show "Hoarders" where they dig up piles of debris and find bugs, urine stains, and dead mice everywhere.
I hate people who are too cheap to spring for new things when their old stuff is shit. If you don't have the money to buy new things, that's different. I'm talking about people who are just plain cheap and gross. I broke my glasses a few weeks ago. They were already five or six years old and had paint chips in them. When they broke (car accident, not my fault) one lens fell off and shattered and one of the arms broke. And my grandma is hounding me because I got new glasses instead of fixing the (totally destroyed) old ones. WTF? Cheap people are annoying.
I would love to go to that place you have posted. Where is it by the way?
I would not put the dog dooty IN the van (he might retaliate in some way), put it right by the driver side door so he can step in it. Ooopsie … no no bad dog!
DD, you are much nicer than I. I'd be placing the dog poop where I knew your mom was likely to step the next time she came out. I'd be placing as much poop as dear little Nikki could pump out. I'd also do your crazy aunts house with the poop too. If they're going to drive you nuts, might as well find a way to have a bit of a giggle it does wonders to alleviate stress.
I have a friend who says 'she knows people' that could help you with the crazy mother problem ... (if ya know what I mean) A tank of gas and a couple cases of beer might be enough to pay them off.
If you want to move to NW/PA, I have 2400 sq ft & only use half of it. And a 1/2 acre yard you could garden in.
I feel for you. Nothing worse than a crazy mother. Mine had the good sense to die four years ago. Sorry that sounds crass, but it's true.
I love it that my readers offer me a place to live. You never know..I might show up. :)
As long as you keep finding things like canned hamburgers, we will be here for you!
I can see it now, there's a knock at the door and there is Pat. She's got her prom girl scarecrow over her shoulder and a suitcase that sounds like it's full of rattlesnakes---but it's really full of seed packs! Welcome Pat!
Just give me advance warning so I can clean the bathrooms and run the sweeper ;)
And, if you came here you could visit some friends. Miss Tia, Ava's Mom, Kiki and Moon are only several hours drive away (I'm forgetting someone). Lots of us Dishers back this way.
Pat,
I wish we as a whole could come up with a tangible solution. I believe your readers truly care about your health and wellness.
Positive thoughts and energy are sent your way:)
Actually, you should come live here. You'd only be a 10 hour drive from Casey and Lis.
PAT, I'm sorry you're still feeling 'puny'....hope as the weather improves, you will feel better. Have you ever considered moving away from the cold? Take those you love and hightail it down south, along the coast if possible. Then you can go fishing...guess I should ask, do you even like fishing? I love fishing, I find it so relaxing and even if all I did was drown worms, crickets, squid and caught no fish that day, I come away feeling calm and at peace w/the world! If you want to come visit me, you can have the whole upstairs to yourself and do whavever you feel like doing. It's 73, or 74 here today and beautiful.
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