That's Captain Howdy from the Exorcist. It's supposed to embody evil. I was actually looking for a rage image, but, howdy. What ever. My blog is boring..I know it is. It's been boring for awhile because I feel stifled. I feel censored by my surroundings and people and I am full of rage. I am censoring myself because I'm ashamed of how pissed off I am. I am so full of rage that I can't even list all the things that piss me off anymore. No amount of Sage burning or meditation helps..I put out so much hateful negative energy, I am ashamed to call myself a Pagan.*
I've been doing mundane posts for awhile now, trying to control myself, but, maybe I need to embrace this phase. Or maybe I need an exorcism, if I believed in that, which I don't, because I actually attended an exorcism once, and no one got cured. And the drapes caught fire. Which I found amusing and no proof that demons exist.
*
I'm just one pissed off witch. Pissed OFF, I tell you. I am living the hissy fit of fuck you and your dog too and I can't get out. Captain Howdy's got nuthin' on me..I'll kick yer mofo pussy ass, Howdy. I'll make you cry for your mommy. Great, now I'm retarded too.
I'm just one pissed off witch. Pissed OFF, I tell you. I am living the hissy fit of fuck you and your dog too and I can't get out. Captain Howdy's got nuthin' on me..I'll kick yer mofo pussy ass, Howdy. I'll make you cry for your mommy. Great, now I'm retarded too.
34 comments:
DD are you ok ? Is tuwela bothering you
again. Let us know. And let it out. I'm concerned
I have never seen u so upset. Please let us know
so we can 1/2 the trouble by talking it out.
I will send you all my beautiful thoughts and
positive outlook vibes as soon as I finish typing
out this post. Please pick up Niki and snuggle
up with him for a while and just breath. Do as
lil as possible all u hafta do is hold onto Niki and
just breath. Listen to your breathing slow down
and let go of the stress. You are so much better
than it. There is beauty in the breakdown DD so
let go DD it's going to be alright you will see. Kiki :)
Pat, just feel free to vent to us! That's what friends are for! If you don't get it out, trust me, it will eat you alive! And the anger has power over you for free! Let it out, and we will try to help dispel it out!
All my love and positive thoughts too, DD. You have made me laugh so many times, you have friends out here you don't even know!
Kathi B
FUCK CENSORSHIP!!! it's your blog and you vent all you want!!!
FUCK THE HATERS!!! we got your back DD!!! hell, vent away and make the comments moderated for awhile!
unleash the fuck yous and the hate and you will feel better!!!
Pat...my idea of peace is to take a book and a quilt--2 if you need them--drive out to a peaceful place, lay down on the blanket in the sun and read. Let the sun warm you. Take a nap. Be at peace. I'm hoping that the snow is gone and the ground might be warmer.
I'm worried about you friend!
This post made me hurt for you. Do you think it's possible that you may have a severe case of cabin fever? Being stuck inside and cold all the time can really fuck with your emotions. Sending calming and strengthening energy your way...hope that helps. You deserve happiness and peace. And there ain't no shame in being pissed, either. You're a much, much better person than you realize...anyone who reads your words can attest to that. Be easy on yourself.
DD, I think you need to set up a paypal account for moving donations. I'll kick in $20 toward a fund for getting you the fuck out of Guntown. It's not much but you might have readers who can donate more. We could have a telethon!
Aww DD you have every right to feel angry. Sending you calming thoughts.
Thanks, but, I don't want money. I'm just really pissed off at the world.
FUCK TROLLS!!!!!!!!!!!
I get so sick of the idiots. The world is full of them and they are the reason I can't reconcile my existance in a place where they are the norm.
Have you felt this way since Lissa was playing with that thing that you put in the jar?.
Jarhead
There has got to be a better town where a witch can earn a decent living in relative peace and quiet.
DD -
Sounds like you need an outlet for all that repressed anger.
Since murder is illegal, maybe hanging up a sack of sand from a rafter and beating the shit out of it with a two by four with a nail in it might help?
Or a baseball bat - that would work, too.
Just a suggestion.
No, Jarhead. I have felt this way for months. I can not tell, in words, how angry I am. I have a real problem. I know that.
I'm team let it all hang out. Vent until you no longer feel the need. Get rid of that negative energy so it can't hurt you anymore. You are right. The world is full of idiots and those who don't give a damn, or can't get past their stupid upbringing.
You are a genuine, good person, and you don't deserve to get eaten up by this. As they used to say "Don't let the turkeys get you down". But go one further, and vent about the turkeys until you feel relief. Kick the turkeys asses, and then punt them back where they belong. Seriously. This is your place. If you can't say what you want here, where can you say it?
Oh, and I have a healthy respect for any entity I don't understand, but it's difficult to be afraid of Captain Howdy when it looks like he stole Tavin Dillard's teeth.
I don't think your boring at all, DD. I don't post as often as I read, but read every post and enjoy coming here everyday.
In fact, even when things get crazy busy in my life (I work and go to school and am married and have kids), I still check your site everyday - faithfully.
So, even though you feel that others around you are suffocating you, know that you are a breath of fresh air to many.
Never let them see you sweat.
Elaine
Almost every day I'm amazed yet again by the stupidity of people.
I've had the feeling for a while that you weren't your usual self here and I was afraid it was because you were unwell. It may be that you just need to vent, you may need a major life change, maybe just a new project to concentrate on. You're the only one who can figure out the best solution for you. All we can do is support your decisions and we send you our best wishes. You're an intelligent, loving person and you've made it through much tougher situations than this.
This post is a atart in getting it out. I can't tell you how to get it out but I know you are a smart lady and you probably already know what needs to be done but something or someone is imolbilizing you. Change is hard.
Say what you want to say. Screw what anyone else thinks. Holding things back only ever makes people sick, don't hold it back, just let it rip, never compromise your well being, it's not worth it.
At the very least this is your blog, it's there for you to say what you want. Never be ashamed of how you feel & screw anyone who looks down on you for expressing your honest emotions. Do the posts you want to do, say what you want to say. Talk, type, scream, punch something until you can't do it anymore. Like Christina above said, let it all hang out.
And tell people what you think, if they're bothering you then tell them they're bothering you. You can tell them tactfully or if you don't like them tell them however feels best for you. If someone's bothering you no sense you sitting & letting it build up & fester in you, let them deal with some of the emotions to the crap they're causing.
Wow, that would have been entertaining the drapes catching on fire. Yeah, I'm far to easily amused.
I agree with all the other posters. You started this blog for you. You needed an outlet and have been able to always speak your mind. Whatever you were going through, you always had this blog to write what you were experiencing and have always spoken your mind. Your recent "bouts" of physical ailments will only be aggravated if you do not let your anger out, one way or another. It doesn't have to be through this blog but I am a firm believer that whatever anger/frustration/sadness you keep in will get the best of you after a while, if you do not let it out.
We are here for you, regardless of whether you decide to let it out here or not. It's obvious that we all care about you, DD. And worry about you.
In the words of my mother-in-law: DON'T LET THE FUCKERS GET YOU DOWN!
I have sensed that you are not yourself but I had no idea that you are twisted sick with anger. I do wonder if Lissa talks about Eric and if you talk with her about him? People in our culture seem to never bring up people who have passed- or that is my experience. I know that I am still in the throws of grief from my Mom's death and people seem VERY uncomfortable and almost upset if I try to talk of it.
Was some of your unease compounded with the exposing of the backstabbers back in the end of Jan?
I am grateful that you told us how badly you have been feeling. No good to internalize this anger. Bad bad bad. I believe you when you say that you are in trouble. Start to let it all out here...when you see where that takes you and this community the next step will open up before you. We Love You
Not that my opinion matters much, but I think you should go for it and let it all out. Those who are intelligent and responsible readers will read what they want and skip whatever they don't want, and those who aren't can just go fuck themselves.
If you feel like going back and deleting posts later when you are in a different mood you can always do so. I admire sincerity in people and that is what I have always found to be very special about your blog. Please don't censor yourself or your blog. Just my two cents. Sending hugs.
Mich ita with your observations. DD is the
sincere genuine article. A woman without
pretence I find her ever so refreshing,witty
and just real. I can't keep away from her
blog and the gathering of the fine individuals
who frequent here daily. Some are so funny
my ribs hurt from busting out in guffaws! DD
always a pleasure to be here and see what
you post. Thank you ever so much ! Kiki :)
Smart people on here. I am greatful.
Anger can eat you alive Pat. I am sure that you know that.
You got to let it out. Give a good scream. Have a really good cry..the kind where the snot runs down your face and your eyes are swollen and you need to take a nap afterward. Let out what is bothering you on here..this is what it is for. I agree..your regular readers know you..we will be here for you and the assholes that come on here to start trouble can rot in holy fucking hell.
In the mean time, I think we should all send you some funny shit to make you laugh. I will start tomorrow!
You boring? Never!! You are sufficiently gifted to render just about anything interesting and enlightening.
I understand your reluctance to let it all out on the net. Esp.in light of the twisted evil troll/backstabber/ fuckhead thing. Maybe just write it all down, get it out, and pick a few pieces to share.
I care about you. This too shall pass. Has to. Kind thoughts and gentle spring breezes to you....
I found a quote by the Russian writer
Leo Tolstoy for you. It's sweet & simple.
" If you want to be happy , BE ! " -Tolstoy
Really he says it all with that straight to the
point. I often feel down but I tell myself that
"Today is the day !" -Mel Fisher a man I admire
and just am in awe of his tenacity to find the
sunken treasure of a Spanish galleon off
Key West, Florida. Everyday for 27 days in a row
he would wake up and say that today is the day
that he would find the ship scuba diving. Kiki :)
DD, I agree with the suggestion of writing it all down. But go a step farther. Last summer I was having problems with several things, couldn't get past it. New friend I met around that time told me to write it all down on paper, then BURN it. Can't say it will work on everything, but I was able to put these two problems/ people out of my mind. One is 'locked up in a closet' and not ready to let that person back out & into my life. The other, well I have now learned how to keep him at arms length.
Say what you need to say, Pat.
If you can't do it here, write it down and e-mail it to your trusted friends. You know who they are.
And like others have said, FUCK TROLLS.
Pat, I love your blog! I read it every day, even though I don't comment often and I really like reading whatever you have to say---you're NOT boring! But I am worried about you, and sending you the best thoughts I have. Know that we care about you!
K
I also have to say that I hate the picture..LOL
The Exorcist was the one movie that scared the shit out of me as a kid and still makes me leery to watch today..and I have watched many a horror movie.
You have every right to be pissed. Life has not been fair to you. You do the right thing without fail and people/life are constantly shitting on you. I have to say that if you weren't pissed as hell at some point, then that might be something to worry about.
I have to say I don't really have any advice for you; just that I think this feeling is normal, considering all the crap you put up with.
This too, shall pass.
Hang in there.
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