If you don't watch the orange skinned housewife's this isn't the post for you. But, if you do..holy crap, Alexis. Right? Not much shocks me, I am shock proof...until I watched this show. It's a train wreck and you know what they say about that. I am always shocked that there really are such superficial worthless people in the world, so I continue to abuse my psyche with this mess.
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When Alexis first came on, I thought, attractive, I guess, lips like a duck. Benifit of doubt and all that. Then she talked. Clearly not very bright and with that annoying attitude that she actually is intelligent and has something to say. No, she doesn't. POTO calls her Jesus Barbie because her Christian, cough, lifestyle is a big part of her onscreen time. Jesus Barbie married a rich dude much older, squatted out three spawn for him and that's her career. She raises them basically alone because kids irritate him and he's old. Her words. She has to ask his permission to even lunch with the girls and then keep her cell phone on because she has to go home if one of them poops. Hard life, but, somehow Alexis finds time to pursue her other interests, which include, botox, boob jobs, exersize and tanning. Having two live in nannies and a housekeeper helps a little. Boo hoo. Never will Alexis have to find a job because she has one..being an obedient wife and mother.
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Now, we get to the Christian part. Alexis wants to please her god and is a regular at her modern hip church. She invited her pastor over for brunch to discuss how god could use her beauty and boobs. She's that dedicated. She also leads prayer between the other house wife's at luncheons with no regard to what they may or may not believe. Misquoting scripture in agonizing impromptu religious services over Margaritas that go on forever. Hey, even I know Jesus didn't part the red sea, okay? No, the other women she forces this on do not appreciate it and neither do I.
Now, we get to the Christian part. Alexis wants to please her god and is a regular at her modern hip church. She invited her pastor over for brunch to discuss how god could use her beauty and boobs. She's that dedicated. She also leads prayer between the other house wife's at luncheons with no regard to what they may or may not believe. Misquoting scripture in agonizing impromptu religious services over Margaritas that go on forever. Hey, even I know Jesus didn't part the red sea, okay? No, the other women she forces this on do not appreciate it and neither do I.
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It's quickly become clear that Alexis is really dumb, she can't think her way out of a paper bag and has to rely on her rich fug husband to explain to her the simplest things. Like surf and turf on a menu. She is not capable of anything except looking good. Which, with the exception of those horrid over done duck lips, she does. And I find nothing wrong with a woman like that who clearly can not aspire to anything, marrying some rich guy who wanted arm candy. If they're happy, big boobed bimbo and wealthy jerk, more power to them. But, if I have to see one more church or prayer meeting, that show can kiss my ass. Who's with me?
It's quickly become clear that Alexis is really dumb, she can't think her way out of a paper bag and has to rely on her rich fug husband to explain to her the simplest things. Like surf and turf on a menu. She is not capable of anything except looking good. Which, with the exception of those horrid over done duck lips, she does. And I find nothing wrong with a woman like that who clearly can not aspire to anything, marrying some rich guy who wanted arm candy. If they're happy, big boobed bimbo and wealthy jerk, more power to them. But, if I have to see one more church or prayer meeting, that show can kiss my ass. Who's with me?
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And yes, I HATE HER. This is the kind of Christian who chaps my ass. They aren't as smart as thier damn lip gloss tube, brainwashed by dumbness into some old ancient life choice and they think everyone thinks like them. She can't even concieve in her tiny botoxed pea brain that anyone wouldn't believe. If I was having lunch with her the first time she said "Let's join hands" she'd be wearing her cocktail. And she'd find the empty glass up her implanted ass. What a stupid cunt.
And yes, I HATE HER. This is the kind of Christian who chaps my ass. They aren't as smart as thier damn lip gloss tube, brainwashed by dumbness into some old ancient life choice and they think everyone thinks like them. She can't even concieve in her tiny botoxed pea brain that anyone wouldn't believe. If I was having lunch with her the first time she said "Let's join hands" she'd be wearing her cocktail. And she'd find the empty glass up her implanted ass. What a stupid cunt.
27 comments:
Raises hand.... but I keep watching???? LMFAO It'll be over for awhile after Thursday night.
This is totally OT, but Guiliana Rancic from ET just confirmed that ole cankle-ankles Gosselin is doing DWTS.
Hell just froze over.
Pat-
I'm with you--besides, this has been the most boring season yet, IMO. Her spontaneous sermons HAVE to stop & right away. I'm glad NY housewives is starting soon. I never got into the Atlanta group.
Aren't POTO's caricatures great?
I don't want to see any more film of her damn church services either. It's damn tedious and takes time away from the brainless cunt fights and Gretchens clothes.
POTO has always been a fav of mine. Not only for the art, but, the commentarty.
Omg DD Alexis is a ditz fake fake FAKE
Christian " Jesus Barbie" that's totally her.
I can't stand that Jim belino her fatso husband
he's so condescending to her. He allows her
to go out and to speak then cuts her off and
she lives to serve him like he's her king.
She has actually called him her KING !
WTF?! She is a dolt. She needs a lot of me
time goes to the spa to relax. Must be some hard
kinda life with not 1 but 2 nannies. Oh and her
pride of being a good mom is that Jim has never
changed a diaper ever not one ! She's so proud
that she blabs it to all the oc hws they must think
( all except Lynn) she is an imbecile. When they
had their pastor over for brunch and she wore that
low cut dress !!! Jim the douche mentions his
wifes store bought assets. Oh and btw both
these two hollier than thou bac j&a surprise are
previuosly divorced and on their second marriages to
each other. Hypocrytes & Vanity congregation
members for life. I can't stand her but she makes
the rhwooc interesting. The clip for next weeks
show has this woman come close to Jim and
Alexis claiming her bighunk 0 lard " he's a married
man !" looks like a Tupperware party riot. Kiki ;)
My H and I were watching this on thursday and agreed we cannot find one redeeming quality in this twat alexis. There is not one thing about her that is admirable or likable. I can't even count staying in shape because she literally has NOTHING ELSE TO DO. Why oh why couldn't Vicki be smart and rip her a new one at that stupid lunch? Pissed me off when she could not even stand up for herself and ran outside crying. I hate that piece of shit alexis and I want bad things to happen to her.
Poto David Gilmour is very talented and witty
I love his recaps. DD please delete 1 of my posts
I double clicked when I hit send sorry. Kiki
Her fake boobs are way too big. I can't stand Lynn and her two annoying daughters. they are so whiny I want to tell them to grow up.
I am constantly amazed and pissed off that all of those women think everyone has plastic surgery. It's like, they think you have to have it, starting with your HS graduation boobs. Alexis is worse than Lynne that way because she just assumes you must have work done or you're not a good wife. She's such an asshole. And her lips look like a wall shelf.
Hulu has all the lastest episodes, Kiki. The fight over her man was a hoot. He's so gross.
How about that Lynne? I know when I get an eviction notice for 10 grand the first thing I do is go on vacation and buy a jacket for 2 grand. Genius, that one.
I stopped watching the show after Gina left. She had a little more sense than the rest of those dumb bimbos. But I did see enough of Jesus Barbie to know that I didn't like her. In fact I was shocked when she said she attended church. I guess she is an Orange Country Christian??? She has a lot to learn. Women shouldn't be slaves to vanity....ooops is that preaching??? LOL!
How about that Lynne? I know when I get an eviction notice for 10 grand the first thing I do is go on vacation and buy a jacket for 2 grand. Genius, that one.
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LOL!!! That's classic. Lynne is just fucking ridiculous. They have no clue.
I love Pretty on the outside. His artwork is really good and I love Martinique.
I am so glad RHNYC are coming up. I did some reading around online and Jesus Barbie and her barfo hubby weedled their way onto the show. They bought their home thru Jeana. They bought a car thru Simon. JB joined Gretchen`s gym. Before you knew it, they were picked for the show. He was charged a few years ago with selling bogus baseballs signed by Babe Ruth. I think I also read that his business is Pawn shops.
I cant wait to see what Crazy kelly will do this season.
I started doing a quack everytime I saw JB. I thought it was just me that saw the Daffy Duckiness in her face.
Thanks DD ;)
Heidi where did u dig up the fat mans dirt ?
Ooooh I can't stand him I'd say he's behind
the whole plot to be on the show pushing
JB front & centre. Gina was the only real one
of the bunch she actually ate food ?!?! An oc
woman who eats food and she really did work
unlike iiiiki who just declares it every chance
she gets. No wonder even G got sick of being
around all those dunbass phoney bitches. Kiki
Here is where I read the info on the Fat Bastard...
http://www.realitytea.com/2010/01/21/real-housewives-of-ocs-jim-and-alexis-bellino-fame-chasers-indictment/
She has to go home if one of her kids poops? Huh?? WHY?
Heidi thanks :) Kiki
Alison he won't change a poopy diaper :/
Duck lips....lol
This season, just irrates me. I hope they do RHNJ again. I cant get enough of table flippin! hehehe
Alexis and her thick-fingered vulgarian of a husband are vile. They go to one of those churches that tells them that God wants them to be rich and that they should cast judgment upon others while everything they do is A-OK. Just the type of 'Christians' I hate the most. Any BAD CRAP that comes out about these two will be no surprise to me.
Kiki-don't they have nannies to change diapers when she is out? They are rich. I don't get it. I never watch the show.
Anyway her husband is pretty lame to refuse to change a diaper. I would feel pretty stupid having to call my spouse and say, "Oh honey, you need to come home, one of the kids went poop."
Alison yes they have 2 nannies but I think jb
just wants to make a big deal of how she serves
her master and king fattubolard. : / Kiki
Interesting link. So, Alexis and her buttfug hub courted the show? Sounds like they whored themselves to be on it..not very Christian, eh?
And he's a scarm artist..nice. I like him better now.
I haven't read the other responses but I abhor this bitch. She is too stupid to realize her husband uses the religion to keep her under his thumb. She and he both disgust me!
Someone should enlighten Alexis by telling her that god is a 350 pound black lesbian, and then ask her to prove them wrong!!
These people drive me nuts. I love POTO`s drawing, so talented.
DD I`m definitely with you on this one. I cannot watch Jesus Barbie, she reminds me way to much of my aunt who pulls this stuff, it always ends badly, she tells me I`m going to hell & well, I profess that it can`t possibly be hell if she isn`t going to be there, as far as I`m concerned that`s paradise. Then she balls or turns bright red & stammers or shrieks. Can`t stand these people & they need to be told to leave when they start up & consider no one else.
I think it`d do Jim good to change a poopy diaper or two, time for him to man up. There`s a reason the stone ages are in the past.
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