Healthy Appetite with Ellie Krieger...have you watched that? Sigh. Big sigh..and a burp and a fart. I don't like her face. I know, that's awful and judgemental and I'm a big asshole. But, I don't. There's something phony about this woman. Still, I thought one of her recipes sounded damn good. I should have listened to the asshole part of my brain and paid attention.*
And don't tell me I did it wrong, because I have a brain disease, I am not retarded..yet. I watched the fucking video 3 times and I had it on while I was cooking. I followed her to the letter and used the same ingredients. It looked NOTHING like hers and it sucked beyond suck. In fact, it was suck from the planet suck in the galaxy of suck and it would have taken this greasy shit 2,000 sucking years to get to Earth and suck this much. I wasted cabbage, rice, fresh ginger and a half pound of beautiful shrimp. In fact, I think what I did to those shrimp was shell fish molestation. Crimimal charges should be filed. AND the worst part was my house was stunk up with fishy fried sesame oil/cabbage smell for days.
*
Ellie Krieger can take her lying ass out to the backyard where I buried her suckage. It probably polluted my compost pile with it's vileness. It's probably murdering all the worms. I should have just cooked the worms. Liar pants. Food Network lying ass. I'd have been better off making a Sandra Lee cocktail. Or five.
Ellie Krieger can take her lying ass out to the backyard where I buried her suckage. It probably polluted my compost pile with it's vileness. It's probably murdering all the worms. I should have just cooked the worms. Liar pants. Food Network lying ass. I'd have been better off making a Sandra Lee cocktail. Or five.
26 comments:
Ah dd great one. LOL im laughing so hard. You sound like my aunt when she made a few things out of Rachel Ray book and got sick with brown flu.
This shit was so NASTY, it looked like shit. Greasy shit. I can't believe those food shows can lie like that.
DD, LOL! Don't you hate that when it 'sounds' so good, but tastes like crap? Did you check the recipe out on her page at foodnetwork.com. Now you're got me curious as hell, gotta check it out, please give me the name of the 'dish'.
Oh Jesus, I can't tell you how many of these celeb recipes I have followed, including Martha Stewart, that have absolutely sucked donkey dick. Like you, I followed to the T but alas, crapola on a plate. I'm a pretty decent cook so I know I wasn't fucking it up all on my own merit.
DD, Please be sure & leave a comment about it on her FN page. PPL need to know!! I always read the recipe reviews. It helps me alot. Do it! I would appreciate that!
rox
The name of it was sucking asian suck crap.
LMAO..........oh......I've got tears rolling...........
Daphne
Alton Brown is the only one you can trust on that network PERIOD But your writing cracks me up!!!! And I gotta say, just the thought of sesame oil, cabbage and shrimp together is making me want to gag.
whenever you have a bad smell in the house place a couple bowls of vinegar out and within 24 hours the smell will be gone!
NOBODY is allowed to cook f'g cabbage in my house! Ever!!! It's a standing rule. P-F'G-U!
rox
Yeah I went against my better judgement and roasted a prime rib 15 minutes per pound as per the recipe's instructions. I like my beef rare but this meat was still mooing when I brought it to the table if it still had legs it would have been kicking too. At least it didn't stink my house up. That cabbage smell is nasty.
I hate the way chefs follow trends. Like there's an 'in' food. Take the goat cheese trend a few years ago. In my opinion it tastes like what goats smell like in petting zoos. Do I want it on/in/around anything I eat? Hell no, but chefs focused whole menus around it like it was the second coming.
The Food Network has gone to hell in a handbasket. I just saw two extremely terrible shows yesterday, one was called "Bitchin' Kitchen" and run by some goth-chick with a weird accent who kept using words like "nerd". The other was about that has-been skater Brian Boitano called "What would Brian Boitano Make?" and he has a huge ego and tried way too hard to be funny. I just had to turn it all off.
I miss the original "Iron Chef" from Japan. I used to watch that with my grandma every week. Now they only play the crummy American version.
Frimmy - get yourself a meat thermometer. Rare is 140 degrees and takes approx 25 minutes per lb. I'm not too fond of goat cheese either but the trend I couldn't wrap my tate buds around was grits. I didn't know humans could fuck up something simple and tasty like corn but we sure did with that one.
Alison- Brian Boitano's show is supposed to be stupid so I can deal with it. LOL Some of the stuff he's made actually looks good.
"sucking asian suck crap."...well, there you go, I'll just plug in sucking asian suck crap over on the FN site, that should bring it up! LMAO at you DD!!!
"sucking asian suck crap."...well, there you go, I'll just plug in sucking asian suck crap over on the FN site, that should bring it up! LMAO at you DD!!!
Escrow, I don't agree, I love Ina Gartens recipes. Only thing I typically do to change hers is cut back on the salt, she uses too much to suit me. I do read the reviews, and if something is mentioned a no. of times, I'll 'do' whatever they suggest. Her Crunchy Noodle Salad and Perfect Roast Chicken are delish!1
Oh crumbs,
Amazon just delivered her latest book; first I'd bought of her's based upon a glowing review in Sunday's paper. I'm feeling scared now.
Janice
P.S. I'm allergic to shellfish so at least I won't be trying the sucky shrimp crap recipe!
I dont care what anyone says.. i love Ina. I have her cookbooks and her recipes are very good. She actually tests and retests each step of a recipe before she thinks it is perfect. I recently made her cinnamon rolls are they were yummy.
I go to allrecipes.com.
You really make me want to know what the recipe is Pat. what was it called? Otherwise i will be spending all night going over her catalog on the site looking over all her shrimp, ginger, cabbage and crap..LOL
Oh Linda, I forgot that you love Ina. Her recipes are very good for the most part but I just can't stand watching her anymoe what with her stuck up attitude and shents (that's a cross between a shirt and a tent), her Beamer, Her good vanilla and her gays and on and on.... She's not professionally trained or very original and her name The Barefoot Contessa came with that restaurant she bought along with most of her recipes. LOL I'll shut up now.
Oh, I don't necessarily watch her show that much, but if I'm looking for a recipe, I'll usually check out her space on FN site, if not there or nothing appeals, then I'll look elsewhere. Heidi, I too go to allrecipes alot. Also, recipezarr.
If I wanted to look like Ina, I'd cook like Ina. Her recipes are too much work for me anyway, I like dead simple and really tasty. I like Jamie, Heidi Swanson and sometimes SmittenKitchen. Cuz I'm lazy.
Sandra Lee has to be one of the worst cooks on there. I used a recipe of hers. It was fajitas and the meat was cooked in a crock pot. It was so awful I wouldn't even serve it to the dogs. It was actually inedible.
My sister caught the same show the first time it was on. I called her to warn her about the recipe. She cut me off mid sentence and said don't bother making that, it's absolutely awful. I went to the foodnetwork website and sure enough, everyone was complaining about it.
I've tried a couple of Tyler Florence recipes and they are really good. My favorite is Tacos Carne Asada. The skirt steak marinade is delicious as is the fresh Pico de Gallo. I cook it on my charcoal grill and it's become one of my family's favorite dishes. I usually have to triple the recipe so it can be a little expensive. When I cook for a special day or one of their birthdays, that's what they always request.
Paula Deen, I can't even stand to hear that woman talk with cutesy act and her phony over annunciated southern drawl. A lot of her recipes look disgusting.
You want a laugh go to foodnetworkhumor.com
I like Ina too, she reminds me of a friend I had who cooked like that and taught me some simple things.
Oh, and I did have some leftover shrimp and cabbage. So I boiled the cabbage with some new potatoes and butter and it was good. And I ate the shrimp plain with Dollar Store cocktail sauce. And I should have done that in the first place and not wasted all that shrimp. She sucks.
Chef at home Micheal Smith and the barefoot
contessa also Giada are all I can stomach& keep
their food down. (PunS intended) Kiki :)
DD, the same thing happened to me with some Rachel Ray 30 minute recipes!!! It looked so good on TV and she always making those yummy sounds while she is cooking to get ya goin’ … and I fell for it!
Come to think of it Guy Fieri did it to me too with one of my favorite appetizers: Vietnamese Spring Rolls. I always get them in local Asian restaurant. He made them on his show and I went out and bought all the weird stuff he said to put in them AND ….you guess it …. They tasted like crap! No way … even close. Although he did help me identify 2 of the major ingredients so, I experimented and made them MYSELF. I was far closer and without all the weird EXPENSIVE ingredients too!
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