My cousin Joey is out there in the driveway carrying my mom's shopping bags in. Used to be my job, heh heh, but, now I just watch and laugh. Not at Joey, but, about the fact that he now knows I was telling the truth about her. In the last three days she's called the Joey Emergency Slave Service for..get this...running to the store, the bread barn, dollar general, the bank, the hair dresser and also..are you ready? She's called because a medicine bottle is child proof, the hose faucett was hard to turn, her toilet sounded "funny", the lawn needs mowing, the mail gal didn't come on time, she dropped a pill behind the couch and was afraid the dog would eat it and Lis got a cush ball stuck on the roof.*
Lissa ran in and told me it was an emergency and Tuwella called Joey. Mom was mad because Joey couldn't come right that second and get the cush ball because he was "messing with them old cars of his." Umm, it's called custom painting and it's his JOB. Fucking idiot old lady. He came as soon as he got off work. Man, she's a pain in the ass. I don't know how the guy has time to take a piss.
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Which brings me to things I think and things I say..example: Mom: (trying to guilt me) "I want you to know I have burial insurance, it's in my dresser." Me: (thinking) "Does that include the undertaker cutting your head off and shoving it deep in your ass and sending you to the depths of hell to burn for eternity? No? Then fuck you." What I said was, okay then.
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She said she hasn't been feeling well. But, she's well enough to order Joey to drive her all over TimbuckFuckingTwo and play purple cush ball with Lis. She's well enough to rake all the sprouting seeds out of my flower bed so I had to replant. She's well enough to spy through my window blinds until I've been forced to nail old towels over the glass. She's well enough to coax 12 new stray cats with mange into the yard just to irritate me. She's well enough to steal my mail and open it. She's well enough to call the bank, pretend to be me and move money in my account. I know Joey's wised up to her, but, I'm sure he thinks she's on her last legs. Pfffft..evil lives forever.
41 comments:
Hummmm...I've wondered about your mail. I mailed you a Valentine. Did you get it? Stealing mail and farking with you bank account are felonies. Have her arrested. And I'd be making a HUGE scene down at the bank lobby.
yeah, i'd make a huge fucking scene with the bank....tell them if you call, they must ask a security question of some kind...and the mail? wtf?!?!? i feel like mailing you a note with cut out letters spelling out something weird, just to see if she would open it and get freaked out! :)
put a sign in your garden "don't rake you old bat".....
wonder how long joey will tolerate this??
I did get it escrow, the glitter all over was a nice touch. LOL. I got that one before she did. It pissed her off, she opens all my mail.
As for the bank, you have no idea how I've tried to keep her out of it. Small town and she's a fake sweet old lady. She does anything she wants. I have to call them everytime I use the account because I have no clue what she's done.
OHHHHHHHHH, the latest. She's "always wanted a little black poodle." Smile. She changed my dogs name to Mickey Mouse because "it's cuter." I just ignore her.
i'd probably start just cashing checks and keeping money at a safe at home...or if you are out of town someday, open a bank account there....
All I can say is ... You Have My Deepest Sympathy.
Maybe someday she'll do you a favor and die, like my mother did. Don't mean to sound crass, but that is the only way you'll ever get away from her. Now I'm left with the lovely memories, that I mostly block out.
I rarely use checks because of her. She's not stealing it, she has no need for my pitance, she's moving it for weird reasons and if I don't check, I could bounce one. She has a plan for everything and it's all some crazy fucked up thing she gets in her head. There's no stopping her.
OMG! You cannot move money into another acct unless you are on both accts, you have to sign a document! I am on my kids accts and have to do that stuff for them sometimes, when they are at work or w/e...its convenient. But I would never, ever steal from my kids! OMG! She IS stealing!!! The banks fault. They will have to replace the funds not authorized by you. Can I call my bank & pretend to be the rich old farmers wife and tell them to move money to my acct? Hell no! It can't be done, it shouldnt be done. They even ask me security questions when I do transfers and thank gawd they do! I appreciate it. I hate a thief. And opening your mail? Does she cash any checks that come to you that you never knew about? I am pissed now. Your business and she knows it all 1st! Gawd Dayum...I am pissed. >:(
rox
Okay, here's an example. Two months ago I took her shopping, she asked if I was coming in and I said no, I'm broke. She got a big grin on her phony face and said no, you have $300 bucks in my savings account. I moved it! And I said, wtf? She said I spent too much (how the fuck do I do that when I'm a prisoner here?) and she moved it to save me emergency money. I told her I wouldn't BE broke if she hadn't moved it. She's fucking nuts and this town lets her do that shit to me all the time. And NO, her name is not on my account.
i'd be writing the state attorney general's office about that bank allowing her to do that....there's also a banking regulatory board....i'd contact them too....podunk town or not, they'd get in trouble, as they should!!
This is the same county that let her file a quit claim deed on my property. I don't trust any of them. And I never will. All that saves me is that now I have nothing worth a fight.
DD, dang, that small town craziness! no one should touch a penny! Get on-line with a larger bank, open an account, shoot, they will probably give you some money to do it, and then leave that one open just so that she thinks she's got one on ya! I think Citibank is giving new accounts 100 bucks to open a new account! do it! bima
Don't just surrender to it! That bank has some 'splainin' to do! Plenty! Seriously, it's not funny. She thinks it is and hard telling how much she has taken from you over the years. My brother used to get in my grandmas checks, he would get one way in the back and maybe even from another box of checks, he'd forge them all over town and buy sh** all the time. She started having bounced checks and was so upset, she was dying and bedridden and he did that to her. He would steal from her purse and tell her the dog must have gotten in there & eaten it. She believed him everytime!! There she was dying and in bed trying to balance her checkbook. She was an accountant, she never lost her skills. But she trusted him and never should have. He robbed her her entire life. She gave him her home when she died & all her posessions too. It figures. Him & my mom had a secret auction and sold it all in one shot. Please dont let her do this shit to you! Get a f'g restraining order against her and send the bank & anybody else a copy! I mean it! I am still mad!
Rox
Your horror stories always make me glad my family ignores me.
Wow, and I thought identity theft was a federal crime! I guess the law doesn't apply in your town!
Opening mail that's not addressed to you, and posing as someone else to get funds transferred, aren't those two things enough to get her ass in trouble? Sheesh!
Or call the bank & tell them you are calling the State Police to report a bank robbery from your acct and naming them as accessories!! This is no time to lay down. You work hard and she doesnt even have to! Keep your damn money or at least change banks and request no paper statements, do it all online. That way she wont ever see what bank you now use when she steals your mail next time.
Another bank, where? It'd have to be a city bank no where near here. I don't have a lot of choices.
I'd be sitting down asap with the bank president, explaining why I'm closing out my current accounts and reopening them with new acct. numbers, and making it clear that if anyone fucks with the new accounts, the State Banking authorities will be notified, no exceptions. And I'd tell the Post Office to hold my mail for daily pick-up (or rent a box).
It's too easy for her to access your private stuff. Clearly, she has your bank account numbers in order to transfer money from you into hers.
Little wonder you feel like your head is about to explode.
Forgot to add -
Since she likes to spy into your windows, instead of nailing towels up, your local hardware store sells rolls of plastic opaque film that you cut to the size of your window and smooth it on with a little water and a squeegee wiper thingy. It comes in frosted patterns and totally blocks any nosey nellies peering in! And it doesn't block your light, either.
I say put up one of those electric fences like folks do for dogs, tie her down and chain a collar on her, and keep the electricity on around your yard/house all the time. Make sure your mailbox is inside the electric zone!
Seriously DD, don't give up, take the appropriate measures. Get a box for your mail, you've got the window prob. solved, and yes, meet w/the bank and scare the hell out of them by telling them you are calling the federal banking authorities (I don't know who that is?) to report them and from now on any money moved to or from your account requires a secret word. How old is your mom???
DD...I agree with Cynthia. She seems to have the easiest solution.
Does your post office offer boxes?
You would have to do a change of address, but I still think it is the answer. And make sure the Post office understands your mail goes in your box and can be given to no one else.
Do all your banking on line or in person! And make sure they know if anything is not your doing, they will be reported! As it is, I would send a letter to the powers that be and advise them of what is happening. Put a complaint in writing in case something else happens. Is your bank part of a chain?
Everytime I read about Luwella, I say a silent thank you to my parents. I've always appreciated them, but more now than ever.
Hang in there Pat! I'll repeat what people keep telling me, it's going to get better soon! Good luck! Sending huge hugs!!!
DD...I forgot to ask. Did you get the Chernobyl site I sent to you? It's a long read but so interesting. Hope you enjoyed it!
Cynthia came up with the best solution for the mail. I thought all Post Offices had to offer boxes.
Forget all the other stuff: How ever are you going to hide your little dog from the evil Miss Gulch next door! I can see her creeping over with her basket one night because she has self appointed herself the better dog owner.
Dont let her take that dog or i swear i will get on an airplane! And i am afraid of airplanes.
To change the subject for a minute...I just got back from doing some grocery shopping. On my way home, I was caught behind a caravan of trucks heading to the gulf for oil cleanup from the rig explosion. Shrimp and oyster fishermen where allowed to go out and fish for as long as they can because the spill is getting closer to the shore faster than they thought. (It was supposed to be a great white shrimp year--coming back after the hurricane 2 yrs. ago.) At first, it was compared to the Exxon Valdez spill, but now they have found a third leak and authorities are saying it will be worse. Inmates in local prisons will be taught the cleanup process for wildlife and put to work on the coast. Gov. Jindal said the cleanup will be paid for by BP--as it should. It one gigantic mess and means financial environmental doom for a lot of people.
Even closer to home for me---one of my son's best friends was on the rig about 10 days before it blew. He works on different platforms when he goes out. My heart goes out to the families of the 11 people that can't be found.
Working offshore is dangerous work even on a daily basis, so many accidents!
BJ, I saw where they were letting the shimpers and oystermen gather all they could. Poor Gulf coast...Katrina in '07 and now this. I pray those whose livlihoods depend on the Gulf are spared the loss of their jobs! As you said, it's no easy job working on an offshore oil rig!
You need a privacy fence as tall as your city allows and to bank online. There's no fucking way she could get to your info then. Thank goodness she's doing this to your cousin. NOW people will see just how crazy that 'sweet little old lady' is.
I know there have been some really good suggestions here, but I don't understand how the online banking will work with a local job if you are self-employed. Maybe I'm missing something, but I don't know how you make deposits.
I really feel for you, Pat. I can't believe that she raked out all your sprouts, and that she is wanting to be Niki's owner. That is so mean-spirited. The banking and mail issues do have to stop. What she is doing is illegal, and I believe there would be hefty fines if these businesses were caught allowing what has gone on. They need to know that you are not above reporting them, and that you will not take this lying down. I know that in the short term, the stress of handling this could be debilitating, but if you could get even a little freedom from her, it would feel so good.
On a side note, there is a device that uses a motion sensor to trigger a sprinkler when an unwelcome guest enters a driveway, garden, etc. Maybe you need one of those set up near your garden beds to hose the old biddie when she decides to get out her rake.
Is there a credit union in your town? Banking through one of those is a good deal.
Bayou Jane,
I am real mad about this mess. In the Exxon Valdez, as bad as that one was, it was on rock beaches. Today, still if you lift up a rock you'll find a ball of sticky black oil. But this one is not only going to ruin all the shrimping etc and all those people who's livlihoods depend on the fishing but all of the wetlands may be decimated and they say that doing a clean up there is next to impossible. BP has not made one fucking statement of apology that I have heard or accountability and responsibility. The rig didn't blow up for no reason. I still don't understand why it did blow up. Those poor families and I saw one of the wife's on TV (her husband survived)and she said he is so freaked out that she doesn't think he willever get over this.And shehas met with some resistance from BP about expanding the counseling/psychiatric medical benefits. BP better stand up and get with it.
DD- I do not understand how you have survived with her next door all this time. Really. I agree with all these good suggestions and taking back your rightful privacy. Hugs to you
Pat, Hugs to you, dear friend.
You are correct. Evil does live
forever, but she will not.
Use cash for bills wherever possible, and perhaps money orders
for payments (lights etc.) until you can decide how to handle this
banking issue. I would call the
Postmaster today and tell him/her
what she is doing and let the Feds
deal with her. Complain to the State Banking Authorities ASAP,
bypass the locals if you feel they
are the ones allowing this to happen--the local bankers asses
are grass. Your Mother Thing has
crossed lines that are illegal.
I know this is tiring for you to deal with, but you must not let her
ever, ever control you. She will always pitch something to you, you just catch it but pitch it back--like the solution to cover your windows. She is old--she will not be around forever.
Lots of good banking advice. Why not call and move money too. move her money and close her account. that would cause tizzy, she would probably just take it out on Joey!
DD I feel so sorry for you. Having to live so close near your mother the scam artist. I wish there was a way you could get away from her. Also to keep her far away from you, lissa, nickey and gabe.
How about a shock collar and fence. To protect you all. Is there some how DD you can just hold on to your money and not put it in the bank? Just get a safety box and keep it with you?
Good luck joey. We all know your going to need it. In a couple of months I see him being fed up with her shit.
GOOD LUCK DD ( BIG HUG)
nancy B- Credit Union member for way over 20 years. It IS the only safe bank, esp now! They didnt take bailouts, they are owned by their members. I wouldnt go anyplace else, ever!! Thats good advice.
rox
Get her rake, go beat her upside the head with the hard end and tell her to leave your shit the hell alone!!!!
I appreciate the fact that you like me enough to give advice, but, you've never lived it. I've fought it all my life and I know when to pick my battles..or she does something worse. Trust me on this one. I just need to bitch once in awhile of go insane and kill people.
And she IS NOT getting my dog.
I understand. You are the one who has to live with the consequences. None of us here really experience the reality of it, and talk is cheap. Obviously she is a crafty and despicable old bitch, and can be quite dangerous. I hope the old cow drops in her tracks soon, and that your aunt keels over trying to help her. I wish you peace.
Thanks. I appreciate that.
I like anon 12:36's advice!!!
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