Tressa Middleton was 11 when she got pregnant and 12 when she delivered her baby girl who was given up for adoption. Now, Tressa is 16 years old and and in the news because she wants her baby back. Legally she could not sign the consent forms, because she was and is a minor. Her mother had to sign them. Tressa admitted she was a party girl and was drunk when she got pregnant. She now says she's sober. No one knows how this will end up. The adoptive parents want nothing to do with her and want her to stay away from their child, even though Tressa says she'd settle for visitation.*
Tressa's mother says she's proud of her daughter for fighting for her child, but, where was she when this kid was drunk and getting pregnant at 11? Oh, yeah, she was busy having another baby herself. You'd think this is uncommon, but, it's not. Tressa looks like my cousin Sandy, who got pregnant at 12 to escape the hell of her religious family. She later had 5 more kids in a row, one died, and Sandy was killed in a car wreck when she was 25. I feel so sorry for that girl up there, haunted by a baby she will probably never hold again and she can't seem to let go and move on. The best interest of the child, who is not a baby anymore, would be to let her go. I just feel so bad for girls who have no guidence and face these kinds of things at such a young age and I can relate to them. But, that baby needs to remain with her real parents..the people who adopted her. I hope that's what the judge says too.
Tressa's mother says she's proud of her daughter for fighting for her child, but, where was she when this kid was drunk and getting pregnant at 11? Oh, yeah, she was busy having another baby herself. You'd think this is uncommon, but, it's not. Tressa looks like my cousin Sandy, who got pregnant at 12 to escape the hell of her religious family. She later had 5 more kids in a row, one died, and Sandy was killed in a car wreck when she was 25. I feel so sorry for that girl up there, haunted by a baby she will probably never hold again and she can't seem to let go and move on. The best interest of the child, who is not a baby anymore, would be to let her go. I just feel so bad for girls who have no guidence and face these kinds of things at such a young age and I can relate to them. But, that baby needs to remain with her real parents..the people who adopted her. I hope that's what the judge says too.
27 comments:
when i was in a jr. high there was a girl who had a kid at 12, 13, 14 and 15....all different fathers....she got her own gub'ment apt. at 16 and dropped out of school....she was a grandmother at age 26!!!
there was girls in high school who would sit and figure out how much they would get in welfare money and benefits a month and one even said flat out "i can make more getting pregnant and dropping out than finishing school"....
sad....
but that girl in the UK does need to let the girl stay with her adoptive parents....where was her mother indeed!
Exactly, for the best interests of that baby she should let it be. The teen's own mother should be telling her that...but obviously, parenting is lacking in that situation. It's sad all around.
Too sad for words, Babies having Babies. Leave the child with it's adpotive parents - the only parents it's ever known.
In a (my) perfect world she would have been made to have an abortion and then put in a good foster home with extensive therapy. Her mother (and father) would be placed in jail for child neglect.
How is it that the parents of a child like this get off scott free?
I concur, Peg. Abortion for the minor; jail and fines for the neglective "parents." I am sickened that so many ignorant people are breeding and creating more ignorant people. This story is a prime illustration of devolution at work.
I don't think that abortion is the answer. Why kill a baby instead of getting her the counseling she so badly needs? Her parents are at fault. Why is an 11-year-old drinking and having sex? If she had had any kind of supervision from parents who were concerned for her welfare, she probably would not be in this spot. I feel terrible for her. She looks so sad in that picture.
The baby needs to stay with the adoptive parents---they are her real parents, she is only the birth mother. I hope the judge sees it the same way.
She should have had the abortion because a 12 year old is not ready for the physical and emotional termoil of birth. The fact that she wants the baby back tells us she's not over it. And might never be.It should have never come to term.
I must disagree with the whole "she should of had an abortion" That is basically saying - No biggie - get pregnant and we will just get you an abortion. Plus - Here is a wonderful family who has a child because of the mistake of this little girl.
Yes, I agree a 12 year old is not ready for the emotional toll of giving birth BUT the main issue is was she emotionally ready for sex?? and the possible consequences of that action?? Maybe this little girl didn't want to have an abortion and that is her right as a woman (I know she is only a child - just using the pro-choice terms here) to decide what to do with her body right?
Tia,
There was a girl in my school who had a baby in the 8th, 9th and 10th grades.
All the same father, all given up.
I never could understand how her
Parent's could not get her to understand to use birth-control.
(It was not for "Religious" reasons, that I know for sure)
Christina, my thoughts exactly! No abortion, but the parents should have been brought to task. I see it daily, at the juvenile justice system I work for. The parents having more and more babies, and on every welfare benefit you can get. And they sure haven't been "parents" to the kids that keep coming into our system, repeatedly most of the time.
12 yr olds (16 yr olds for that matter) do not have the developed physical body structure to handle carrying a baby to term or giving birth vaginally. Pelvis is not big enough yet.
I am not an expert but I know that what i am saying is true.
Hubs sees many many many preemies given birth by young girls.
that being said, in MY perfect world..that girl would have been given the morning after pill or terminate.
DD, I'd guess there is extreme emotional and physical distress w/an abortion, especially at such a young age. There was/is no 'easy' answer, for sure. Except of course, that the parents should have been doing their job! I want to strangle lousy ass parents.
I see your point on the abortion debate, but, I'll bet you she was never allowed counciling about abortion or the choice. Her mother decided everything. And that aint right considering.
the girl i knew her parents didn't give a shit....she was proud of it! WTF?!? sad....
i don't know if it would be better to have them taken away or to keep them when they aren't able to handle it as they're children themselves....
I deal with girls that age and I can tell you it doesn't matter how good or bad the parents are. Girls that age have so many pressures that we can not even imagine. You can't blame this on any one person. You can be there and teach your child and hope that they will follow your teachings, but once they walk out of your door, they are open to the pressures of everything and everyone around them.
Its easy to blame the parents, after all there MUST be a reason for this, but parents aren't always to blame---try peer pressure!
I'm a firm believer in birth control. Parents have to face the fact that children are having sex. They see it all around them and they want to know what its all about.
Agree with Bayou Jane - you can only blame the parents so much - Yes, there are situations where the parents are completely absent and clueless but there are also situations where the parents are very present and supportive, educate their children and so on and then it is left to the child to make the right decisions when alone at school - and they don't always make the right one. I have seen this one too many time. As a parent of a 7 and 4 year old, I will do my utter most best to make sure they are equipped and understand what the consequences can be. I have had a couple of close friends who got pregnant around 15-16 because they did not think it could happen to them. I am not talking about the girls Tia knew who got pregnant to get financial support.
But this girl was 12?!?!?!
Abortion should have been an option. 12 years old?!?! They are indeed not ready to bare children, either emotionally or physically. It is heartbreaking that this child has not gotten over what happened to her. She was too young to emotionally handle it - her mother should have made her understand her choices and discuss together what was the best outcome.
I am knocking on wood that I will not face this situation with my children.
Sex education and birth control. What a concept, huh?
I would embarrass the crap out of my daughters but they knew they had options. If they were going to have sex, let me know and we will be off to the gyno.
i also know girls that got pg at a young age..late teens..and they had a long hard life to deal with at such a young age.
One is 21 and the other is 16...few more years and i will be in the clear.
that being said..if my youngest came to me because she was pg..i would tell her the options and help her.
I got pregnant at 15,aborted at 16.I had post partum and it was horrible. I sat in class in school and cried for over a month. No one thought I should be sent to the school counselor. No one wondered why my grades were dropping.The worst part is , I didn't feel I could tell my mother. I hid it from her because she was such a bitch to me that it kind of alienated me from her.I am pro choice (obviously) ,but counseling definitely needs to be a part of it. I hope my daughers feel close enough to come to me with this kind of stuff. I feel like we're on the right track. I am not following my mother's lead.
I guess I'm old fashion. IMO, there shouldn't be any boyfriends or girlfriends before the age of 16. I had 3 boys and there were no girls calling the house or hanging around. If they had friends and I didn't like them, they were no longer friends with them. Show me who you hang with and I'll tell you what you are. I didn't put up with any back talk and respect started at home at an early age. Everything else fell into place.
Kids I see now a days have too much do as they please time. I see kids talking back to parents and parents being afraid to say no, wanting to look cool to their kids. Kids need boundaries. This little girl obviously had none and I blame poor parenting.
Girls who give birth before age 15 are five times more likely to die in childbirth than women in their twenties. That's not a chance I would be willing to take with my daughter.
Abortion, the Pill, Plan B, Parenthood (motherhood)..........
Why are do GIRLS have to continue to deal???? Anyone watch 16 and Pregnant on MTV- when the boyfriend said (paraphrase) "Get this mistake out of my life, stretchmarked bitch"....It's not fair. I would love to see those football and baseball coaches shitting themselves if their sons/prime boys got pregnant! Would we have different solutions???
what sucks is that your body is physically old enough to have a child,meanwhile your brain is still trying to catch up.
Such a shame that a child who is only 11 years old is out drinking and having sex. What is wrong with kids? They try to grow up so fast. For What???
I feel bad for this little girl who yes got pregnant at 11. Had a child at 12. But I don't think its the best idea to give the child back to her. She is not capable of taking care of a child. She is a child herself.
The worst thing they could of done was let her hold her child and have a open adoption. Its harder to let something go. When these circumstances are in the picture.
When I was adopted myself. My mother gave birth. I was taken away that moment. She never held me or saw me. Than my adoption was a closed one.
that was a little girl having a baby. An abortion, w/o question would be of utmost urgency. The childs body was not built to carry a baby. Plus, she was probably drinking & smoking the entire pregnancy too. Leave the baby where she is and go to college and move on. Get over it. The baby doesnt need to have it's life disrupted. Its totally mess with her head, having that baby. I am pro-choice, but a minor cannot be made to chhose for themselves. A parent would have to decide. It would be tough but childbirth is a big deal, its hard on your body and she was probably barely even having her period! Terrible situation. She needs to just graduate & go to college and move on. Have more kids later. If she is able!!! When she has a job!
rox
No, parents can't be blammed for everything, but, an 11 year old? When your kid is only 11 you should know where she is all the time, that's still a child, not even a teen.
Bayou, I am with you. Offer kids birth control no matter what your beliefs are.
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