Biz ~ could it be the baby blues?? Would a pamper Biz day help? Early Happy Birthday to you. Enjoy your day, you're still young enough to look forward to B-days. Mine is tomorrow and it's like BFD! Ok, well, that was a downer comment ;)
Biz~ sorry you're overwhelmed! I can't imagine dealing with two little ones and a big one (the husband being the big one) You sound like you need at least a couple of hours of alone time. Have the hubs take the girls for some daddy-daughters bonding time, to give you a day off and do nothing (by nothing I mean absolutely nothing -that includes you think needs done, like housework).
Biz, your husband needs to jump in with both feet and you need to put yours up. I completely understand though. My husband was nervous the first few times too (and my oldest was 3 1/2 so I am guessing slightly more manageable than a two y-o). I was not very comfortable either but knew that I needed to let go and trust him for a few minutes.
He could start with a walk around the neighborhood and ease on to getting them both in the car and dealing with Baby Bean crying ;-).
My son got his braces last Thursday - Thursday night one fell off... had to go again the next day. Now his lips are being ripped apart, his tongue is sore, he is having a hard time speaking and eating. It's breaking my heart. I had braces too for a long time so remember the discomfort. Lots of soup and ice cream for his right now.
went to the taste of cleveland today....it was REALLY cold!!! around 55 with a very strong wind right on the lake! taste of cleveland is awesome though!!! it was so windy when the blue angels were practicing they weren't going 'sonic boom' speed today!
we stopped at tower city too and we always cut through the renaissance hotel....they had some GNC body builder contest and these people were sick looking....they had so much fake tan (and maybe this is a creatine/protein side affect too? i dunno) they had blue/purple skin colors going on!!!! they were white people! the bulging veins and stuff are shudder worthy alone, but the blue/purple skin color? ew! but they seem happy....as my friend said 'well they'll have a shorter life span but more trophies'....one way to look at it....
maybe you just needed a good cry biz! you should maybe try leaving your husband alone with them for short periods of time to build up his confidence....go for a short walk---around a couple blocks---and see how he handles that.....then you can build up the length of time you can leave!!
happy early birthday CJ!!
i can't believe it was 90+ earlier in the week and now it's 50!!!
Well, I thought I was gonna recycle costume pieces for the upcoming show.....not happening...I guess I'm coming up with a new outfit....cutting, testing, trimming, sewing...gaahh I'm so not motivated! Haven't made myself anything new in months.....dress rehearsal is in 10 days...
Biz...I'm so sorry to hear how upset you are, but I remember the feeling so well and I only had one. I used to tell my husband that he helped make the baby and he'd better be able to help take care of the baby. (To tone was more harsh, but you get the idea and so did he.) I like the sound of starting out with a short time. That way he can't use his old excuse. I also think if he stayed home (and you went out) it would be easier on him. I hope you have a very happy birthday! Tell hubs a good cheap present would be an afternoon off, just for yourself!
CJ...Happy Birthday! I know what you mean. After a while, they aren't fun anymore!
And we are also having a cool weekend. The weather is really great! It's so nice to walk outside and not wilt!!
I don't know why your husband can't watch the kids sometimes, Biz. That irritates me. I didn't feel like crying today, I felt like I wan't there. I feel like I'm an observer in this world and not a participant.
Thanks all! think I'm at that stage where another B-day is a depressing pain in the ass.
Biz~ have hubs either take the girls out for a very long walk to a neighborhood park, or have him stay home with them while you go out for a walk or some 'me' time, even if it's to get a coffee by yourself.
Biz, is your husband afraid if he lets on that he can do it you'll ask him more often? After being with my husband for 37 years, and always trying to be the super wife and mother and handling everything, I spoiled my husband completely rotten and he took full advantage. I don't know what got into me, but about a year ago when my middle son moved out, I decided I had enough. I wish I could have had half the shit done for me that I have done for everyone else over the years.
Now if my husband needs his clothes washed, he does it. He needs new underwear or socks? I point him the direction of the store. If he doesn't go then he goes without. Dinner? Maybe once in a while but I cooked every night for 33 years and I'm sick of it. All these new rules are the same for my son who still lives at home. I told them I didn't do them any favors by not preparing them for life in case I'm not around anymore. I made them invalids. It's my fault but they took full advantage. I put my foot down and told them I am no longer the cook, maid, babysitter, or housekeeper. Guess what? They are finally doing it themselves. Ahhh menopause, sometimes it's a wonderful thing.
My advice is to have all the girls things set up, tell him where everything is, leave him a schedule of feedings etc an say "see ya later" and go have a few hours of "me" time. He WILL handle it. Men will act helpless until they HAVE to do it themselves. They are very capable.
Biz...I cleared my calendar for Thursday night a long time ago. I can't wait. The preseason games have looked pretty good. They have been working on getting a stronger second string "just incase". I hate those words! I watched the LSU game tonight. They usually have a great second half, but not tonight. They could easily have lost in the last 2 seconds. (30-24) I hope you get to feeling "not so stressed out" by then! Maybe the game can help!!! Just remember not to yell too loud if the babies are sleeping!!!
I understand your position with relation to your husband's fear of watching your baby.
Leaving them at home with some prepared items (that you can teach him one time to set-up), at a time when baby usually is happiest (avoid colic time, please!) I bet will get him used to it. Knowing you'll be back soon will keep him sane. Eventually take longer breaks like a movie or something.
Babies are alien to a lot of guys and we think they'll break. Get him involved in everything including bath times (he holds; you rub)-that really worked for my brother-in-law, who was clueless with babies. now they have two girls and my sister is in a Soccer league on Sundays. He watches the girls all afternoon.
Hi Bayou,
I watched the LSU game also. I'll be rooting for you all against the Vikings. Brett may be a Southern boy, but man is he a Diva. He still plays football at high Schools during early Fall so that the kids can run to him like Mean Joe Green in that old coke commercial!.
Good for you Peg. My mom did the same to my brother and sisters when my dad had his stroke. She said that's it, she's got her hands full and everyone else is old enough to care for themselves. You gotta live your own life to be happy.
have a good weekend everyone, I'll be fishing all day today.
Biz, I truly remember those days. My kids were 9, 3, 2 and NB. I would go for days feeling like I was Supermom, doing it all and doing fairly well and then there would be ONE MORE THING that needed to be done and it would send me over the edge to overwhelmed. Not being able to get a handle on my emotions, form a rational thought, nothing. The only thing that helped me was a really good hard cry, usually done in the shower where I didn't freak the kids out. I think it's the way very competent people decompress and then go back to their business.
I think I know what you mean, DD. That surreal feeling that you're just floating amongst the people living their lives. Kind of like taking muscle relaxers.
Biz, do you like to take bubble baths? Or just soak in the tub? And does your bathroom have a lock on it?
If so, you can take a nice long bath with a book. Hubs can watch the kids in the house and you can get a half hour of peace. He is not allowed to knock or call out to you at all...unless it is a real emergency. He has to learn that he can do it! After you have done that a couple times, then you can leave the kids with him and you can go grocery shopping (or some errand). It is so great to be able to get out of the house without the kids. And you have the luxury of having Daddy there to do it. I used to take full advantage of Hubs to take care of the girls when I had to run errands..or going out to the movies with friends. Then you do the same for him. He will get the hang of it. :)
I am hanging in there. I made iambriezy`s french dip yesterday for dinner. There are leftovers for lunch..LOL We are going to start doing some fall cleaning but first I am going to make Sunday brunch.
Biz, In my infinite wisdom, I completely agree with Peg. Sink or swim. He'll swim, I promise. I'm actually doing the same thing around here because if I didn't, someone was going to die. Is it possible to hit menopause at 39?
You certainly can be peri-menopausal, and possibly menopausal at that age, iambriezy. Biz--I'm with Peg for the most part. I think that men tend to take a little mental step back when women just start taking care of business with babies. I don't think they mean to, it just happens. The only way he will gain self-confidence, is by doing. Make it plain to him that you need breaks, and that you will set him up for success as much as you are able, and then follow through. I think if you do this, the first breaks won't be very relaxed, as you will be worrying about how he is doing, how your girls are doing, etc., but the important thing is to stick with it, and continue the breaks, so that it can be a success for both of you. I don't really have a lot of respect for a doctor that would tell you that you seem perfectly, completely happy when you are having times like these. Sometimes they just don't get it.
Yesterday we had the final garage/yard sale of the season. We didn't make a lot, but we sold many small ticket items, and weird stuff. At the end of the sale, we bagged up most of the stuff and took it to Good Will. Now THAT felt good! Then we went out to Costco to look at getting our prescriptions for glasses filled. It turns out that the price is so good that we just went for it, and I am getting glasses, prescription sunglasses, and my hubby is getting glasses, and reading glasses. All for about the same price we paid for our son to get a new pair of single vision glasses at the local eye clinic we have gone to for years. Amazing. I feel like such an idiot for ever having gone there. The neighbors got married yesterday, and it actually went okay. No-one attempting to pee on the dogs as far as we could tell. I am now going outside to try to see if Petunia is still broody. If she is, I am going to the Urban Farm Store for fertile eggs for her. If not, then oh, well.
Hey mom, Just wanted to let you know, my friend Lindsey, the one who came to visit with me last time I came home... Well her BF proposed a few weeks ago!!! :D
It feels like a Sunday today. I am in the process of making some spaghetti sauce for dinner tonite. Meatballs and Italian sausage in there too. Yummy. I have not made it in awhile.
I have been Fall cleaning around here. Does anyone else do that? I have baseboard heaters so I clean them all out before it will be time to turn the heat on. You can just imagine the shit that accumulates inside them all year long.
Hey Pat, Do you plant Mums? I never have any luck when I plant them. They never come up the next year. I have even bought them in late August and planted but still nothing.
hey heidi, the mums i bought last year actually came back up this year!! i had like 8 and 7 of them came back...first year that that had happened!! they all have buds on 'em too!!
i kept them in their pots over winter.....so i dunno how/why they survived when others in past years haven't......but i'm pleased!
When you plant mums and they do come back the next year, never let them bud in the summer. Cut them back to about 5 or 6 inches, let them come back in and cut them down again. Make your last cut on July 4th and don't make anymore cuts after that. By the Fall you'll have some beautiful full mums.
only one of my mums had buds this summer and i let it bloom...the others haven't gotten buds until recently....i always dead head them too so they keep blooming....
Sometimes the littlest things make someone happy. What's up?
36 comments:
that pic gave me the giggles! tx.
Biz ~ could it be the baby blues?? Would a pamper Biz day help? Early Happy Birthday to you. Enjoy your day, you're still young enough to look forward to B-days. Mine is tomorrow and it's like BFD! Ok, well, that was a downer comment ;)
Biz~ sorry you're overwhelmed! I can't imagine dealing with two little ones and a big one (the husband being the big one) You sound like you need at least a couple of hours of alone time. Have the hubs take the girls for some daddy-daughters bonding time, to give you a day off and do nothing (by nothing I mean absolutely nothing -that includes you think needs done, like housework).
*BIG HUG TO YOU*
That Photo is just soooo not right on soooooo many levels ... lol
Beth in Seville...
Thanks for making me smile :)
Cooled off here. So nice. Be snowing in a week.
Biz, your husband needs to jump in with both feet and you need to put yours up. I completely understand though. My husband was nervous the first few times too (and my oldest was 3 1/2 so I am guessing slightly more manageable than a two y-o). I was not very comfortable either but knew that I needed to let go and trust him for a few minutes.
He could start with a walk around the neighborhood and ease on to getting them both in the car and dealing with Baby Bean crying ;-).
My son got his braces last Thursday - Thursday night one fell off... had to go again the next day. Now his lips are being ripped apart, his tongue is sore, he is having a hard time speaking and eating. It's breaking my heart. I had braces too for a long time so remember the discomfort. Lots of soup and ice cream for his right now.
went to the taste of cleveland today....it was REALLY cold!!! around 55 with a very strong wind right on the lake! taste of cleveland is awesome though!!! it was so windy when the blue angels were practicing they weren't going 'sonic boom' speed today!
we stopped at tower city too and we always cut through the renaissance hotel....they had some GNC body builder contest and these people were sick looking....they had so much fake tan (and maybe this is a creatine/protein side affect too? i dunno) they had blue/purple skin colors going on!!!! they were white people! the bulging veins and stuff are shudder worthy alone, but the blue/purple skin color? ew! but they seem happy....as my friend said 'well they'll have a shorter life span but more trophies'....one way to look at it....
maybe you just needed a good cry biz! you should maybe try leaving your husband alone with them for short periods of time to build up his confidence....go for a short walk---around a couple blocks---and see how he handles that.....then you can build up the length of time you can leave!!
happy early birthday CJ!!
i can't believe it was 90+ earlier in the week and now it's 50!!!
Well, I thought I was gonna recycle costume pieces for the upcoming show.....not happening...I guess I'm coming up with a new outfit....cutting, testing, trimming, sewing...gaahh I'm so not motivated! Haven't made myself anything new in months.....dress rehearsal is in 10 days...
Biz...I'm so sorry to hear how upset you are, but I remember the feeling so well and I only had one.
I used to tell my husband that he helped make the baby and he'd better be able to help take care of the baby. (To tone was more harsh, but you get the idea and so did he.) I like the sound of starting out with a short time. That way he can't use his old excuse. I also think if he stayed home (and you went out) it would be easier on him. I hope you have a very happy birthday! Tell hubs a good cheap present would be an afternoon off, just for yourself!
CJ...Happy Birthday! I know what you mean. After a while, they aren't fun anymore!
And we are also having a cool weekend. The weather is really great! It's so nice to walk outside and not wilt!!
I don't know why your husband can't watch the kids sometimes, Biz. That irritates me. I didn't feel like crying today, I felt like I wan't there. I feel like I'm an observer in this world and not a participant.
i feel like an observing most days too!!
weather like today makes me wanna get out all my halloweenie decorations!
Thanks all! think I'm at that stage where another B-day is a depressing pain in the ass.
Biz~ have hubs either take the girls out for a very long walk to a neighborhood park, or have him stay home with them while you go out for a walk or some 'me' time, even if it's to get a coffee by yourself.
Baby got back!!!
I wonder how tall she is?
Biz, is your husband afraid if he lets on that he can do it you'll ask him more often? After being with my husband for 37 years, and always trying to be the super wife and mother and handling everything, I spoiled my husband completely rotten and he took full advantage.
I don't know what got into me, but about a year ago when my middle son moved out, I decided I had enough. I wish I could have had half the shit done for me that I have done for everyone else over the years.
Now if my husband needs his clothes washed, he does it. He needs new underwear or socks? I point him the direction of the store. If he doesn't go then he goes without. Dinner? Maybe once in a while but I cooked every night for 33 years and I'm sick of it. All these new rules are the same for my son who still lives at home. I told them I didn't do them any favors by not preparing them for life in case I'm not around anymore. I made them invalids. It's my fault but they took full advantage. I put my foot down and told them I am no longer the cook, maid, babysitter, or housekeeper. Guess what? They are finally doing it themselves. Ahhh menopause, sometimes it's a wonderful thing.
My advice is to have all the girls things set up, tell him where everything is, leave him a schedule of feedings etc an say "see ya later" and go have a few hours of "me" time. He WILL handle it. Men will act helpless until they HAVE to do it themselves. They are very capable.
Biz...I cleared my calendar for Thursday night a long time ago. I can't wait. The preseason games have looked pretty good. They have been working on getting a stronger second string "just incase". I hate those words!
I watched the LSU game tonight. They usually have a great second half, but not tonight. They could easily have lost in the last 2 seconds. (30-24)
I hope you get to feeling "not so stressed out" by then! Maybe the game can help!!! Just remember not to yell too loud if the babies are sleeping!!!
Hi Biz,
I understand your position with relation to your husband's fear of watching your baby.
Leaving them at home with some prepared items (that you can teach him one time to set-up), at a time when baby usually is happiest (avoid colic time, please!) I bet will get him used to it. Knowing you'll be back soon will keep him sane. Eventually take longer breaks like a movie or something.
Babies are alien to a lot of guys and we think they'll break. Get him involved in everything including bath times (he holds; you rub)-that really worked for my brother-in-law, who was clueless with babies. now they have two girls and my sister is in a Soccer league on Sundays. He watches the girls all afternoon.
Hi Bayou,
I watched the LSU game also. I'll be rooting for you all against the Vikings. Brett may be a Southern boy, but man is he a Diva.
He still plays football at high Schools during early Fall so that the kids can run to him like Mean Joe Green in that old coke commercial!.
Good for you Peg. My mom did the same to my brother and sisters when my dad had his stroke. She said that's it, she's got her hands full and everyone else is old enough to care for themselves. You gotta live your own life to be happy.
have a good weekend everyone, I'll be fishing all day today.
Jarhead
Biz, I truly remember those days. My kids were 9, 3, 2 and NB. I would go for days feeling like I was Supermom, doing it all and doing fairly well and then there would be ONE MORE THING that needed to be done and it would send me over the edge to overwhelmed. Not being able to get a handle on my emotions, form a rational thought, nothing. The only thing that helped me was a really good hard cry, usually done in the shower where I didn't freak the kids out. I think it's the way very competent people decompress and then go back to their business.
I think I know what you mean, DD. That surreal feeling that you're just floating amongst the people living their lives. Kind of like taking muscle relaxers.
I have been feeling that way lately myself DD.
Biz, do you like to take bubble baths? Or just soak in the tub? And does your bathroom have a lock on it?
If so, you can take a nice long bath with a book. Hubs can watch the kids in the house and you can get a half hour of peace. He is not allowed to knock or call out to you at all...unless it is a real emergency. He has to learn that he can do it! After you have done that a couple times, then you can leave the kids with him and you can go grocery shopping (or some errand).
It is so great to be able to get out of the house without the kids. And you have the luxury of having Daddy there to do it.
I used to take full advantage of Hubs to take care of the girls when I had to run errands..or going out to the movies with friends.
Then you do the same for him.
He will get the hang of it. :)
I am hanging in there.
I made iambriezy`s french dip yesterday for dinner. There are leftovers for lunch..LOL
We are going to start doing some fall cleaning but first I am going to make Sunday brunch.
Have a great Sunday all!
Biz, In my infinite wisdom, I completely agree with Peg. Sink or swim. He'll swim, I promise. I'm actually doing the same thing around here because if I didn't, someone was going to die. Is it possible to hit menopause at 39?
Tia,
Is that you?
You certainly can be peri-menopausal, and possibly menopausal at that age, iambriezy.
Biz--I'm with Peg for the most part. I think that men tend to take a little mental step back when women just start taking care of business with babies. I don't think they mean to, it just happens. The only way he will gain self-confidence, is by doing. Make it plain to him that you need breaks, and that you will set him up for success as much as you are able, and then follow through. I think if you do this, the first breaks won't be very relaxed, as you will be worrying about how he is doing, how your girls are doing, etc., but the important thing is to stick with it, and continue the breaks, so that it can be a success for both of you.
I don't really have a lot of respect for a doctor that would tell you that you seem perfectly, completely happy when you are having times like these. Sometimes they just don't get it.
iambriezy, you might be hitting perimenopause. I started at around your age.
Yesterday we had the final garage/yard sale of the season. We didn't make a lot, but we sold many small ticket items, and weird stuff. At the end of the sale, we bagged up most of the stuff and took it to Good Will. Now THAT felt good!
Then we went out to Costco to look at getting our prescriptions for glasses filled. It turns out that the price is so good that we just went for it, and I am getting glasses, prescription sunglasses, and my hubby is getting glasses, and reading glasses. All for about the same price we paid for our son to get a new pair of single vision glasses at the local eye clinic we have gone to for years. Amazing. I feel like such an idiot for ever having gone there.
The neighbors got married yesterday, and it actually went okay. No-one attempting to pee on the dogs as far as we could tell.
I am now going outside to try to see if Petunia is still broody. If she is, I am going to the Urban Farm Store for fertile eggs for her. If not, then oh, well.
Hey mom,
Just wanted to let you know, my friend Lindsey, the one who came to visit with me last time I came home... Well her BF proposed a few weeks ago!!! :D
It feels like a Sunday today. I am in the process of making some spaghetti sauce for dinner tonite. Meatballs and Italian sausage in there too. Yummy. I have not made it in awhile.
I have been Fall cleaning around here. Does anyone else do that?
I have baseboard heaters so I clean them all out before it will be time to turn the heat on. You can just imagine the shit that accumulates inside them all year long.
Hey Pat, Do you plant Mums? I never have any luck when I plant them. They never come up the next year. I have even bought them in late August and planted but still nothing.
hey heidi, the mums i bought last year actually came back up this year!! i had like 8 and 7 of them came back...first year that that had happened!! they all have buds on 'em too!!
i kept them in their pots over winter.....so i dunno how/why they survived when others in past years haven't......but i'm pleased!
When you plant mums and they do come back the next year, never let them bud in the summer. Cut them back to about 5 or 6 inches, let them come back in and cut them down again. Make your last cut on July 4th and don't make anymore cuts after that. By the Fall you'll have some beautiful full mums.
only one of my mums had buds this summer and i let it bloom...the others haven't gotten buds until recently....i always dead head them too so they keep blooming....
I have one that came back. It hasn't budded yet.
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