I love reading about life in royal households and while I inevitably learn about history and politics, that's not what I'm really interested in. I adore finding out how people handled the normal household stuff. One of the grossest jobs has to be wiping the royal butts. Because Kings and Queens and their precious offspring certainly did not wipe their own bums, that would have been horrible. Their royal hands could never touch filth. They employed a Groom Of The Stool. This dude (or chick, depending) would take care of everything bathroom related for his Majesty.*
I think it sounds horrible, but, actually, it was an important castle position with major respect..only a loyal and trusted friend from a good family would be given this job. They would be privy (heh) to very personal discussions and issues of the time. They also had to journal the Kings bowel movements and things like enemas because the physicians had to keep a close eye on the Kings health.
*
And of course, they wiped royal ass. They used special toiletry sets made of silver and sometimes precious stones and these sets were often elaborate and given as gifts to new babies. They consisted of a pitcher, a bowl and a matching platter they sat upon. The Stool Groom washed and wiped the Kings butt with soft cotton towels quilted with a gentle diamond pattern woven in. This is where the word diaper comes from.
And of course, they wiped royal ass. They used special toiletry sets made of silver and sometimes precious stones and these sets were often elaborate and given as gifts to new babies. They consisted of a pitcher, a bowl and a matching platter they sat upon. The Stool Groom washed and wiped the Kings butt with soft cotton towels quilted with a gentle diamond pattern woven in. This is where the word diaper comes from.
*
The royal stool closet was not usually a closet, it was a special room off their apartments and was usually elaborate. These rooms were a favorite meeting place for royal love affairs and even hasty marriages. There was usually a secret entrance. Wars were declared and bastards legitimized who changed the course of history..and all from the poop room. No wonder The Groom Of The Stool was such hot stuff. In the case of a Queen this person would have had the daunting task of monitoring and recording her menstrual periods. They would have been the first to know of the huge event of an impending heir.
The royal stool closet was not usually a closet, it was a special room off their apartments and was usually elaborate. These rooms were a favorite meeting place for royal love affairs and even hasty marriages. There was usually a secret entrance. Wars were declared and bastards legitimized who changed the course of history..and all from the poop room. No wonder The Groom Of The Stool was such hot stuff. In the case of a Queen this person would have had the daunting task of monitoring and recording her menstrual periods. They would have been the first to know of the huge event of an impending heir.
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That second toilet is very much like the one that was used by King Henry VIII. It's top was padded with the finest swan down. Inside the box would be the bowl, a treasure...and a lesser servant would have probably taken it out and carried the Kings personal umm, treasure, to the castle's "easement" room at the order of the Stool Groom. The room of Easements is fascinating in itself. Big whomping multiple holers in planks that the lesser castle people pooped in. Henry had some massive sewer systems. Interesting stuff, isn't it?
That second toilet is very much like the one that was used by King Henry VIII. It's top was padded with the finest swan down. Inside the box would be the bowl, a treasure...and a lesser servant would have probably taken it out and carried the Kings personal umm, treasure, to the castle's "easement" room at the order of the Stool Groom. The room of Easements is fascinating in itself. Big whomping multiple holers in planks that the lesser castle people pooped in. Henry had some massive sewer systems. Interesting stuff, isn't it?
14 comments:
DD-I love finding out about the history of different things, out of the norm, like this article. I find it very interesting to learn about the way things were in the "old days". Thanks for this, where can I go to read about more of this?
I enjoyed this post very much. George Harrison had a throne made into a toilet at his castle. King George! Very interesting. My grandmother had a maid that would come in before everyone woke up everyday & would empty all the chamber pots from under the bed. She saw that my grandmother had miscarried the night before and reported it immediately. My grandmother didnt know that she had. :( They really do serve a purpose.
rox
TMI
Holy Hannah! That was really interesting!
isn't the top one from a catalog? i have a catalog with reproduction fixtures and hardware and they had one like the picture and it was like $13,000 and when you lifted the lid it played a french song about royalty....
i have a book about living in victorian times and it goes into detail what the scullery maids did, the housemaids, etc in upper middle class homes....also what the homeowners did at home....very very detailed......
I work in a nursing home......sounds familiar.
Annastasia, the "article" is mine. I'm a bit obessive when something stirs my curiosity. I've been thinking about this for ages. I think I'm done now. :)
I heard about that on TV. There was an interesting British series circa 2006 or so called "The worst jobs in history". This was one of the jobs they profiled. And yes, they said whoever had this job was very highly respected, because they worked so closely with the royal family. I say, fuck respect if THAT'S what I have to do to get it. I'd rather make like Rodney Dangerfield and get no respect!!
Hey, that's on You Tube. I watched it. You know what else is on YT? That hot Henry TV series starring JRM..it's secretly hidden. You have to type in the names of his wives and look for obscure titles. Man, is it good.
...and today I was thinking I had
a shitty job.
Tia?
How are you feeling today?
Oh Hell, I'm not too good for that job. Wipe one person's ass once a day and clean out a bucket of shit? Hell, I did basically the same job for years until my kid was potty trained. And respect? That's just icing on the poop cake. Where do I apply?
Tia, $13,000 for a toilet that plays music? I think hearing the same song every time I powdered my nose would get pretty tiresome.
this is the catalog i have....i have a catalog from about 5 years ago and they have the toilet listed there...it doesn't look like they still sell it....but hey now! they have a $17,000+ bronze bathtub!!! aside from a few expensive items they have a plethora of really neat reproduction things....cabinet latches, hinges, door knockers and the twisting door bells!! i love those!!!
when i get around to scanning stuff, i'll scan the ad for that toilet tonya! it plays the song when you flush not when you lift the lid....i couldn't remember....
http://www.signaturehardware.com/product2754
There are rows of Port-a-Johns that number about 20 or so in every Marine Corps firing range. They are serviced every season if someone remembers to do it.
During Summer months the cloud of stench is intoxicating because most of them get full and don't get cleaned for a while.
On the umpteenth week the truck shows up and a Hazmat dude dismounts and plugs a hose on one end and a vacuum in the other. Over-pressurizes and sprays some Old Spice in there and he's done. Amazingly they look as new when he leaves, and the process begins anew.
Jarhead
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