Chatty Cathy: We recently moved to the 'burbs and have a house with a nice fenced backyard. We (especially the kid and the dog) are really enjoying it. Our only problem is our one next-door neighbor. She is in her 60s and lives with her 92-year-old mother. Whenever we are outside, even if it's just the dog running around, she comes out. She'll have treats for the dog or chat with my son or husband and I. It's making me enjoy the yard less and less. I can't let the dog out for a quick pee, and my son comes in every time talking about "Sue." I wanted to sit outside to read in the gorgeous weather this weekend but had to make an excuse after a half-hour conversation to go inside. She seems lonely, and I don't want to be rude. But I don't know what to do.
Emily Yoffe: She is lonely, which is sad, but she has no compunction about being rude, which is rude. However, you want to have pleasant, though limited relations with the neighbor with logorrhea. Invite her over for brunch one weekend. Explain you've never really had a chance to have a proper conversation—when all of you are in the yard you're busy with your own activities—and you wanted to introduce yourselves. Then having done that, when she next leans over the fence you can say, "Oh, Sue, nice to see you. I'm grabbing a chance to catch up on my reading, but we'll chat another time" and turn to your book. Or, "I'm sorry, I'm such a bad multitasker, and I really have to concentrate on not letting the dog tear up the yard," then clam up. You have to train Sue now that you will speak only when it suits you, or else your yard will become a permanent conversation pit.
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Me...I usually agree with Emily (Dear Prudence) but, this time I am yelling inside my head, "NOOOOO!" The neighbor is a control freak and I can smell it from here. If she invites that old bitch for brunch she will be waving a white flag and the old bat will take it as a signal to take over inside as well as outside. She knows damn well her neighbor doesn't like her behavior, she's given her plenty of clues, but, she's ignoring them. Just like that old asswipe who calls me "honey" and "sweetie pie" at the grocery store. It's a form of control. Chatty needs to get mean. She needs to grab her kid or dog as soon as she spots that bitch coming and shoot her a look from burning hell and go inside, SLAMMING the fuck out of her door. If that isn't plain enough, tell her to back off or she'll buy some pepper spray. I know these people. I know them well, and they are anything but sweet and lonely. They are calculated and manipulative experts in control and torture and if you aren't even related to the whores, nip it. Nip it in the bud. (Yep, I did use a Barney Fife quote.)
13 comments:
agreed....inviting her for brunch?!?!?!? WTF?!?? that's taking it to a whole nother level by inviting her into her home!! WTF?!?!?! yeah, here's the inside of my house, i like you soooo much i'm inviting you for a meal! WTF?!?!
after you give clues, you pretty much have to be rude because i think clue phones are ringing so much in society today and no one picks them up, people are immune to the ringing....
You're up early. I am too, my mother smelled a gas leak at 5 am and after checking there, he came over here. OMG, the dude looked just like Hugh Laurie.
yeah i woke up around 5am too and couldn't go back to sleep!! so i just got up!
was your mother imagining things??
No, I smelled it when I opened the door for him. But, he couldn't find anything and now it's gone. I think it's my stove, it just "feels" wrong. But, I can't say that. That's crazy, don't ya know.
maybe 'someone' is turning on your stove at night to cook?? and they are crossing into this world? (i know you'll understand what i'm saying....)....
hell i would've told him it felt wrong....i tell my mechanic when something fells or seems wrong, my dr., my vet....i don't give a fuck anymore....if i have a 'sense' that's what i say....
I think both of you are mean..... of course, I have a long history of hiding from people, pretending I'm not home, etc. before I finally break down screaming. Soooooo, what was I saying again?
uh huh....come on out of your meanie closet tonya!!! We shall welcome you to meanville!! :)
and hiding tactics only cause YOU more stress...doesn't bother whomever is knocking....oh dear, i just got men at work's 'who can it be now' in my head!
Ha, jolly tune.
I would take out a loan to put up the tallest privacy fence allowed. And then ignore, Ignore, IGNORE.
Or get a formerly abused pitt bull. That worked for me.
Gawd I hate when people try to invade my space. I wave and will say hello to my neighbors. But just because I live there doesnt make us great friends. I prefer to be left alone.
Yes it's kinda funny we have a person like that in our lives too, a real time waster, you kind of have to train them to shut up and leave off. But they are completely indiscriminate because they will actually talk to anyone, even me, and most people instinctively don't like me, people like that don't really seem to mind who they talk to. I've never figured out why some people are like that, I used to think people were lonely, but this guy isn't lonely. He just seems to addicted to talking, to anyone about anything.
Hell, just call the cops the next time she bothers you. If she does it again, file for a restraining order. Tell the judge she's a pain in the ass and you fear for your safety. That should do the trick!
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