Etiquette Hell..who hasn't read there? Right? A lot of times I don't get it. Sorry, but, the terrible faux pas stories told there sometimes baffle me. We all know that a wedding guest shouldn't be wearing a floor length white gown, I get that. But, sometimes the story tellers just sound snotty to me. There was one about the horrors of a buffet at a wedding. OMG, a buffet at a formal wedding! Shut the fuck up and have some chicken. The horrors of a groom wearing a cowboy hat? So what? Maybe he likes to pretend he's a cowboy. Tacky people who open gifts AT the reception? Oh dear. Uhh, where are you supposed to open them? The worst story was an entire page devoted to the humorous misunderstanding of a Catholic ceremony. By people who weren't Catholic. It made me wonder how they'd act at a Pagan hand fasting. Yeah, writing a story about how fucking stupid they are is much nicer than explaining your religious ceremony to them.*
I don't know, maybe I was just born with a trailer park mentality, but, it seems to me it's YOUR wedding. If you want to dress like a tard and drink from kegs, what the hell. People should just shut the fuck up and roll with it. You have NOT spent a day in hell just because the wine came from a box.
18 comments:
I agree. When my cousin got married a couple of years ago, my uncle spared no expense. It was at the beach which was about 3-4 hours away for most of the guests. He rented out beach houses for everyone to stay so they didn't have to spend money on hotels. It was so freaking over the top, I felt I couldn't be me. I had to put up this facade. It was a gorgeous wedding, but far too fancy for me.
In June we're invited to a wedding that will be more our style. They are just good old country people. We'll have fun and probably feel more comfortable there than we did with my own family. I'm sure they'll have kegs and they'll probably be doing keg stands.
~Palmetto Girl
I hate going anywhere, but, attending weddings, baby showers, funerals etc. are things you do to support friends. There's a one in a 1000 chance it might not be awful. If it is awful, it's one day out of my miserable life. I shut the fuck up and smile.
To me the most frustrating thing about going to weddings is being told what to do. First of all, if I have to travel more than an hour to get there, do NOT expect me to rsvp yes to your wedding. If I do show up, do not expect me to wear a certain type of clothing like "black tie" or "formal" or "dressy casual". This isn't the oscars and you're not Rachel Zoe so shut the fuck up. Also, do not expect me to participate or do any work WHATSOEVER for your special day--don't ask me to do a reading or a toast or light a candle, don't force me to pin a flower on myself or anyone else, don't expect me to man the guest book or the punch bowl or the seating chart etc. etc.
And, DO NOT THINK that I will stand up after eating-- and perform the hokey pokey or the chicken dance or the fucking bunny hop without hating your guts for the rest of my life.
Finally, there are only two words you need to remember in order to throw a lovely wedding your guests will remember fondly and without hatred towards you and they are: OPEN BAR.
If you can't afford the booze honey, forget it, Vegas is nice too.
I think its so funny the amount of money people spend for a wedding that 85 percent turns into a divorce later on. Its so foulish to try to come up with the most fab wedding ever. You cant relive it. You just pay off the debt over time and enjoy the what 5 hrs or more of that day. Granted alot of weddings ive seen and have been in are great. Perfect everything while spending abundance of money. But WHY??
Nobody enjoys weddings but the bride. Last time I was a bridesmaid the groom's mother made all of us maids wait tables. Yeah.... wandering around the room in an orange dress pouring drinks. THAT was fun.
lmao.....We're planning on a buffet and I LOVE Gregg in his cowboy hat. He's wearing it for sure now.
Daphne
You know what I hate more than the events? Thank you cards. I hate those stupid things.
At my wedding we didn't have a dress code. There were people wearing cutoff jeans, and others were well groomed. We did require RSVP because we had a budget. I told them all that they should dress in whatever they felt comfy in, since it was an outdoor wedding at the end of summer. Later looking at the pics we noticed that one of Shep's friends, the owner of the property we got married at, was wearing his "FUCK EVERYBODY" hat! That was hilarious.
Actually, Shep and I were just gonna go to the courthouse and get it done, but my little brother who lived in FL at the time, and Shep's best friend Wendi in Issaquah decided that we should have a party. We weren't even gonna have wedding bands. So we let them have at it, he did nothing and I did the bare minimum lol.
Shep's mom bought a beer keg, his stepdad bought the champagne for the toast, my brother bought t-bone steaks and I made the marinade, we grilled after the ceremony for about 20 people. My brother and Shep's friend took care of the decoration. One of the guests was more than happy to volunteer for the grill, he loved that.
Later that night we camped out in tents and grilled and drank more beer for breakfast. It was the most fun we've ever had, and to this day, almost 6 years later I still get comments from people that it was the most fun wedding they have ever attended.
my daughters wedding last October was at a garden venue & they had to have a head-count to complete the paperwork. The number of guests is multiplied by the benues cost per guest & thats what your bill equals to. So, she really needed RSVP's or she would have way overpaid. As it is she lost a couple hundred dollars by several confirmed guests not coming afterall. Its sad when its a small wedding too and she paid for & invited some of the grooms familys closets friends and they didnt even come! An entire family! There are no refunds in the wedding game either. You eat the loss. It was a beautiful day and all but a handful came. RSVP's are a good idea. Money is tight. It helps to know. Its rude to just show up. & there wont be a table for you, so you will be embarrassed as well. Thats just how it is. I learned so much when she did this wedding!
I totally agree with the rsvp thing---If people don't rsvp I would consider them not coming, then embarass the hell out of them if they showed up!
We had to rsvp no to a cousin's wedding once because of a previous work commitment and she had the nerve to call AND to email us, berating us because "I can't imagine a work event more important than MY wedding." Wow. That whole side of the family still is pissed at us for it. In hindsight we should have just rsvp'd yes then made some excuse at the last minute. oh well. At least we know we did the right thing.
I think only 1 in 100 people even know what RSVP is. They put it on invites and when you call them they act puzzled. Fucking French shit anyway.
Every comment on this great topic is a gem. Weddings are over-rated.
I have never heard of etiquette hell! Going there after I say this;
I agree weddings are over rated. The only group benefiting by the ridiculous standards being demanded by Bridezilla types is the wedding retail business. I'm all for taking that money and putting it into a house, putting on an informal, happy party for friends and family and getting on with your life. Of course I've been to a wedding where the bride had the house bought for her on top of the over the top wedding. She still married a dolt and they aren't happy. Shrug.
I've also been to a wedding where there was no bridal party, the bride and groom mingled with the guests before the ceremony and there was a pot luck dinner afterward. That was kinda cool. No pretenses, small town and warm. The couple had no money and neither did their parents and the couple did not want to burden anyone with a formal wedding. Seems to me like there's more honour in that than buying into Bride Magazine's crap.
I skipped my niece's wedding extravaganza at the Ritz Carlton, SoBe Miami last fall. Oldest Bro invested $100K about 10 years ago for this show. Kid spent every dime & more. I did the math on what it would cost me to get there... at least $1500 (travel, hotel, food and clothing) before the gift. Ah NO, don't have it and even if I did I wouldn't spend it on going to Miami for 3 days to attend the wedding of someone that does not even speak to me. Sent a card & check... have a nice life... hope you stay married longer than your sister (another 100K wedding) and brother. Both were divorced within 6 years. These two idiots went to Europe for a two week honeymoon... staying in 5 star hotels and racking up credit card bills. They'll be paying those off for the next 20 years... hope they took plenty of pictures to remind them of what they spent the money on.
Was living in Rochester, NY with my then fiance and we decided to have a non-event wedding, involving a justice of the peace and no friends or family. Simple, lovely,and meaningful (not to mention much cheaper - we were quite broke at the time. Not that we are any less broke now...). We then went on our "honeymoon" to Niagara Falls and did all the kitchy/trashy things to do around and had a blast.
We had originally thought of having the wedding in Switzerland (where I grew up) but when my parents started emailing lists and lists of old farts and people I did not care about to invite, places to have the venue, reception crap, etc..., I pulled the plug.
Would not change a thing.
Yeah, I missed out on all the gifts to start/continue our life together but I could not give a damn about any of that stuff.
Weddings are completely over rated and have turned into a circus freak show and not the kind I would want to see.
I think more than 1 in 100 no what RSVP is. It is still taught in elementary when kids are learning to write letters.
I always did bday parties for my kids and inviatations were mailed not handed out at school. School friends, church friends, sports friends...I always had RSVP because I had treat bags, food, etc...If you can't pick up a phone and say yes or no, screw you and your terrible manners. I also put please RSVP by...a couple of days before.
I had one mother call 30 mins before a party and asked if her son could still come...this was about age 7-8, he had a cancellation of some other event. I told her I am sorry but no. I have kids arriving soon and I have not planned for your son, I needed an RSVP by...and quite frankly to ask and come now, at the last minute because his better offer fell thru is just rude. She got all uppity on me and said her son really wants to come. I said then why didn't you RSVP for him.
It may sound harsh, but hopefully I taught this flaky Mom a lesson.
RSVP people.....
Two years ago, my son got married. They were only a few years out of college, so they had a huge guest list. They had no problems with the younger generation RSVP-ing, it was the 40-60 yr old crowd that couldn't seem to get the concept. Oh, and even better, the 48 yr old cousin with an invite that included her and a guest, who saw my son at the grocery store a week before the wedding and when asked, said "oh yeah, forgot about that, put us down for 6". Yes, she decided to bring 5 guests. Best part? She didn't even show. Between those 6 and the other 75 that didn't show due to an ice storm, they were out some serious cash.
I just read an EH letter where the wedding shower was a Tarot party and how tacky it was. Hmm. I can't tell you how many wedding and charity parties I've done. I guess my time is worthless, the money I've raised is tacky and I'm a faux pas. Nice to know.
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