Sigh. Sometimes I think I'm just a bad witch. Every time I go to Pagan or Wiccan websites it's all about beauty and spirituality. No one seems pissed off. I'm pissed off most of the time. Oh, I don't do bad spells or throw curses, but, I can't seem to get in touch with the calm and peaceful side of Paganism much of the time. Everything is too loud, too annoying and too...stupid. I don't want platitudes or inspirational crap..I want some damn peace and quiet. Sometimes I wonder if demons are real and I'm possessed? No, seriously. I am in tune with nature, but, not really allowed to enjoy it around here. I don't know..but, it seems I'm a bad witch. I just want to stomp everyone around here until they cease to exist. I get so mad that I get electrically charged and can't touch metal. It's not static either..it's knock you on your ass, sparks flying shit. When it reaches full power, all my silverware twists. I'm down to two forks now. Sometimes I think I'd sell my soul for one day of quiet. Some of it is my brain disease, but, a lot of it is people who have no respect for anyone else and there's nothing to do about it. I'm just constantly raging mad. It sucks. I suck..and I'm a bad witch. 
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Am I a bad witch?
Sigh. Sometimes I think I'm just a bad witch. Every time I go to Pagan or Wiccan websites it's all about beauty and spirituality. No one seems pissed off. I'm pissed off most of the time. Oh, I don't do bad spells or throw curses, but, I can't seem to get in touch with the calm and peaceful side of Paganism much of the time. Everything is too loud, too annoying and too...stupid. I don't want platitudes or inspirational crap..I want some damn peace and quiet. Sometimes I wonder if demons are real and I'm possessed? No, seriously. I am in tune with nature, but, not really allowed to enjoy it around here. I don't know..but, it seems I'm a bad witch. I just want to stomp everyone around here until they cease to exist. I get so mad that I get electrically charged and can't touch metal. It's not static either..it's knock you on your ass, sparks flying shit. When it reaches full power, all my silverware twists. I'm down to two forks now. Sometimes I think I'd sell my soul for one day of quiet. Some of it is my brain disease, but, a lot of it is people who have no respect for anyone else and there's nothing to do about it. I'm just constantly raging mad. It sucks. I suck..and I'm a bad witch. 
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
23 comments:
I must have sold my soul because it's pouring rain now and the bastards and their dogs are all...poof! Cackle.
i can totally relate to being pissed off all the time...and i'm in tune with nature too, but can't enjoy it around here either.....
fucking sucks....
You're not a bad witch. You're just surrounded and out numbered. :(
I dont think your a bad witch DD. I just think you need a little witch vacay, a little closer, some peace of mind, cleansed, down time away from the fam. Thats just my point of view on the whole saga. I hope some day you do get to partake in a simple peaceful day. Take care.
ps. Maybe we all should go live off the grid and in the woods for a couple of days. live just like the good old days.
Noise is so painful to me. Sharp sudden noises cause agony. It's like being burned.
I would imagine it would be impossible to remain positive amongst so much stupidity. I think you're a good witch who could use some valium.
Nope. You're a sensitive and intelligent person who is over-run with inconsiderate assholes. The general public has lost all awareness, or care, with how their behavior effects others.
You're always one of the good ones. And a great force in Lissa's life. She's going to remember everything you've taught her. And you make your reader's lives a lot nicer everyday too. You created a community here, where like-minded folks can relate.
Beth
If it wasn't for the people here, I wouldn't have a reason to get out of bed all week.
You are not alone with the noise thing! An expected loud noise feels to me like someone just hit me really hard on my spine. Then most of the time I will get a headache. It does suck.
And I agree totally with Beth. You're one of the good ones, DD.
Yeah! And then my brain burns like fire and my hands and chest go all tingly. It hurts like a son of a bitch!
Yep, tingly pain--that's exactly it.
Sally, umm, maybe you should be checked by a neurologist? It didn't help me physically, but, at least now I know what's happening and why.
Yeah, I know. But I hate Drs. even worse than I hate pain! It has to be debilitating before I'll go to the doc.
I'm a mess!
;o)
I agree with everyone else and really don't believe you are a bad witch. It's just hard to be tolerant of idiots and you're surrounded by them and saturated with hearing about idiots in the news.
I read an article once about a child who they diagnosed as autistic but in fact had hyper hearing. One day she started behaving like she was in excruciating pain more than usual - hands over ears, crying, rocking - and they discovered that there was a plumber banging on pipes in the basement of the apartment across the street. Long story short, they had her hearing tested and it turns out she could hear everything including things she shouldn't have been able to hear and it was driving her crazy with pain. So the specialists involved in her case deliberately 'damaged' her hearing until she was within normal abilities and she started behaving normally.
It made me wonder how many times the ability to hear too well gets missed and is actually the cause of behavior problems. How does a child who has always heard the way they do, know to tell someone that everything is too loud? My son hears too well and sounds bother him. It's not to the point where he acts out, but he does tell me when something is too loud to him compared to me. Also whenever he is watching TV, he has the sound down so low I can't hear anything and my hearing normal.
Hyper hearing is awful. It's just pain and more pain.
DD...I don't think you are a "bad" witch. If you were, you would have found a way to rid yourself of all the assholes around you.
And, I too have trouble with noise. I hear very well. When I was teaching and my back would be towards the class, I could always tell who was doing what. It amazed the kids. But like you, there were times when I needed quiet and couldn't get it.
You're not a bad witch! That's why I got you the glenda magnet! :D I love you momma!
Also, i'm gonna send you an email or maybe I'll call you tomorrow on my lunch break, cuz some crazy shit has been happening to me lately.
DD-do attribute the hypersensitivity to noise to a medical diagnosis or to your power to see/feel things other people don't?
I'm really curious. Do you feel like that all the time or does it come and go, some days worse than others?
Beth
Beth, the noise and hyper hearing is constant. It started right before I stroked out. The voices of the dead have been off and on for decades. It's hard to sort out and difficult to just be. It's like hearing a power saw constantly and then throw in everything else. Painful. Pain pills help me cope. I take too many.
Okay, Casey, I'll be here.
You're not a bad witch, you're just a good witch that has her trials. Something in this world is throwing shit at you left and right, challenging you to continue being good.
I dunno. I just dunno.
Post a Comment