That's right, ladies...do you want your husband to think he wandered into the fishmonger's stall instead of the bedroom? Do you want your husband to snigger at work with his buddies about the crotch stank emanating from your granny panties on your "special nights"? Mother Nature may have fucked up bad when she created the stinking caverns we call vaginas but there's no need to worry! Modern science has picked up where Nature left off with a couple gallons of toxic chemicals you can squirt right up your disgusting hootch! What self-respecting woman wouldn't rather smell like a hospital or a chemical factory than a rotting carcass?
I'd like to know, where are the ads for products to use for stinking, unwashed penises and sweaty balls? My husband and his hunting buddies joke about "nut butter", the by-product of a week in the bush without a proper shower. It's not like they have to make this shit up.
Once, I was totally in love with this guy...sweet, hot and very nice guy. Everything went along as nature intended until we got to the point where he took his pants off. The smell was instant and overpowering and I literally FLED the scene, eyes watering and stammering excuses. Jesus DickCheese Christ.
Moral of the story: People's pee-pee's stink if they don't wash them. The End.
Okay, I have to know. How do you find a job answering phones for an escort service? Did they advertise in the local paper? Offer medical benefits and a 401K? This post is all kinds of awesome...LOL
it was years ago (late 90s)....i was going through temp services trying to get a job and it was difficult--they sent me out to interviews, etc etc and i needed a job! temp services are listed under EMPLOYMENT in the yellow pages and next to that was ESCORT SERVICES....i figured one might need phone help....
i picked one and called and asked if they needed help answering the phones...the lady paused and then said yes and asked me who had me call and i told her how i sick of going to temp services and next to employment was escort and figured i'd call to see if they needed help....i went out to her place the next evening to be interviewed....
i have 2 really good stories from my couple months of answering phones as a 'hooker booker' but they're best told 'live'---like i told 'em to tonya on the phone....i should probably make a video of myself telling those 2 stories...they're best heard as you get the pauses....
I've seen these ads before and always find it totally unbelievable that women would use this stuff . But in the 1800's it was even worse ! My great grandmother died from douching with kerosene in the very late 1890's . My grandma said that it ate her up inside . I can't even begin to understand what would make you do such a thing !!
Well. If an "offensive" odor is emanating from the female parts, it is most likely because she has been given a little "gift" from her husband. Ahhh... the 50's. Good times...good times. The husband screws around, gives his wife VD, and Lysol comes in to "clean" up the woman, and blame her, in one fell swoop! Dontcha just love the 50's?
when i find my 'book'---i got a photocopy of it, i have to look up one particular client as he'd be about 30 now and i MUST KNOW WHAT HE LOOKS LIKE!! i will make a couple youtube videos with my stories....i'll send the links to pat and of course post on FB....hell, i'll put 'em on my blog....i don't care....
"Please Dave, don't lock me out of the house! I promise to wash my pussy!"
27 comments:
yeah, we have these on my vintage ads community a lot....
LYSOL as a douche! WTF?!?!??!?! and basically WTF with the whole ad!
That's right, ladies...do you want your husband to think he wandered into the fishmonger's stall instead of the bedroom? Do you want your husband to snigger at work with his buddies about the crotch stank emanating from your granny panties on your "special nights"? Mother Nature may have fucked up bad when she created the stinking caverns we call vaginas but there's no need to worry! Modern science has picked up where Nature left off with a couple gallons of toxic chemicals you can squirt right up your disgusting hootch! What self-respecting woman wouldn't rather smell like a hospital or a chemical factory than a rotting carcass?
Boo-yah!
/sarcasm - (just in case it isn't obvious)
Lysol? wouldn't that eat and burn your lady bits?
I can hear it now. Oh hunny u smell so good. Is that lemon? mmmm or pine?
I'd like to know, where are the ads for products to use for stinking, unwashed penises and sweaty balls? My husband and his hunting buddies joke about "nut butter", the by-product of a week in the bush without a proper shower. It's not like they have to make this shit up.
Once, I was totally in love with this guy...sweet, hot and very nice guy. Everything went along as nature intended until we got to the point where he took his pants off. The smell was instant and overpowering and I literally FLED the scene, eyes watering and stammering excuses. Jesus DickCheese Christ.
Moral of the story: People's pee-pee's stink if they don't wash them. The End.
It would burn the fuck out of you, but, isn't that better than letting him smell pussy? Caustic burns are better than being less than fresh. LMAO
Anon at 2:30? Please, please, PLEASE identify yourself because someone who says Jesus DickCheese Christ is someone I want to know...LOL
LOL about the good guy with the dick cheese. HAHAHA
i answered phones for an escort service the "ladies" always complained about men who wouldn't lift their sack and wash....
"No greasy aftereffect"???
Gargling pussies. Now I've really heard everything.
"Tastes like chicken...keep on lickin'. Smells like trout...get the hell out".
Okay, I have to know. How do you find a job answering phones for an escort service? Did they advertise in the local paper? Offer medical benefits and a 401K? This post is all kinds of awesome...LOL
I would like to know just what is the "greasy aftereffect" of a "makeshift....salt/soap/soda" douche?
Sounds kinky!
it was years ago (late 90s)....i was going through temp services trying to get a job and it was difficult--they sent me out to interviews, etc etc and i needed a job! temp services are listed under EMPLOYMENT in the yellow pages and next to that was ESCORT SERVICES....i figured one might need phone help....
i picked one and called and asked if they needed help answering the phones...the lady paused and then said yes and asked me who had me call and i told her how i sick of going to temp services and next to employment was escort and figured i'd call to see if they needed help....i went out to her place the next evening to be interviewed....
i have 2 really good stories from my couple months of answering phones as a 'hooker booker' but they're best told 'live'---like i told 'em to tonya on the phone....i should probably make a video of myself telling those 2 stories...they're best heard as you get the pauses....
All the secrets come out..sooner or later. Heh.
Would Dave dunk is little pecker in Lysol? I think not!
I've seen these ads before and always find it totally unbelievable that women would use this stuff . But in the 1800's it was even worse ! My great grandmother died from douching with kerosene in the very late 1890's . My grandma said that it ate her up inside . I can't even begin to understand what would make you do such a thing !!
It's times like these I am so very thankful for the rows of razor sharp teeth in my vagina.
Brilliant :)
Well. If an "offensive" odor is emanating from the female parts, it is most likely because she has been given a little "gift" from her husband. Ahhh... the 50's. Good times...good times. The husband screws around, gives his wife VD, and Lysol comes in to "clean" up the woman, and blame her, in one fell swoop!
Dontcha just love the 50's?
You have all said it all.
Hooker booker? Would love to hear about that I bet you were paid cash. :)
damn straight i was paid cash!!! :)
when i find my 'book'---i got a photocopy of it, i have to look up one particular client as he'd be about 30 now and i MUST KNOW WHAT HE LOOKS LIKE!! i will make a couple youtube videos with my stories....i'll send the links to pat and of course post on FB....hell, i'll put 'em on my blog....i don't care....
don't give my stories away tonya!!
I wouldn't dream of it, Tia. The floor is all yours. I will be in the other room, brushing my vagina teeth.
Don't forget to gargle!
Women used to douche with all sorts of things to prevent pregnancy. And for other reasons.
GROSS.
OUCH.
These old ads are just disgusting!
Zonite is bleach. Women used to hurt themselves pretty bad with these douches.
I'm glad I still use Lysol to spray down my toilet seat. I'd be worried about my kids contracting SLS: smelly ladyparts syndrome.....
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