Deep deep shit for Teresa

The realest househo's of them all, the Joisey ones. I caught up on the last episode last night and part uno of the reunion. Holy...ballsack. I was totally on Caroline's side after the episode. I mean, who wouldn't be? Caroline is loyal as fuck and has common sense and Teresa backstabbed her like a mother in that stupid Fabulicious cook book.

Let me backtrack a little. I laughed so hard when they all went on vacation and Teresa took them to Shit and Gore alley, said she was 'researching' her next cook book, because that's what best selling New York Times authors do. Let that sink in. LMAO! I mean, that was pure Teresa and funny as shit. She ended up asking the merchant, "Do youz got salt?" I laughed so hard my gut hurt.

Cut to the next episode. Teresa put 'stories' in her new cookbook, according to her, everyone LOVES that and compares her to Lucy. Umm, that would be Lucille Ball, not the one from Peanuts, who runs a 5 cent psychiatry booth. Though, I'm sure all the housewives could benefit from that Lucy. Though I have no idea where they would get a nickle. Small change is a foreign concept to these ladies. These 'stories' are nothing but Teresa bashing her friends and family in print, forever. She seems to start many sentences with 'like.' LIKE, who does that?

Caroline takes particular offense to having her meatballs dissed and being called one sixteenth Italian. Teresa ends that chapter with, "Caroline is as Italian as the Olive Garden". Owch. She might have been able to pull that one off as a joke, but, Teresa in her infinite wisdom also included the fact that 'dis here is a famibily cook book and she don't condone no strippin' in cah washes.' That part was aimed at Caroline's son, Chris. Unless of course, there is someone else on this show who started a stripper car wash. I must have missed that.

Caroline seethed. You do NOT attack Caroline's children. I knew this was bad. I actually held my hand up to the screen and went, noooo, don't go there, no, no, oh gawd, nooooooo! Well, it was easy to choose a side. Caroline has been nothing but a true and extremely loyal friend to Teresa. Caroline may be pushy and bullish sometimes, but, her loyalty is never and has never been in question.

I wondered what Caroline would do? How would she handle this? Would Tre finally get a table shoved up her ass? Jebus, this was bad. The reunion came on and I expected a calm and stern Caroline with her facts straight. What I got was a Caroline who, to start, brought up everything Teresa told her in confidence about Kathy and Melissa. Ho----LEE----shit. Caroline brought a machine gun to a pillow fight. And she let it loose.

I was not expecting that. It was unfair and below the belt. Caroline Manzo is not who I thought she was. You don't tell things a friend said to you in confidence during a fight. You just do not do that. Teresa is dumber that dirt and has such and inflated sense of herself she's delusional. That's what makes her funny to me. I am not in her line of fire, so I can like her antics.

I always knew, from the first episode, that Teresa was someone I would never have coffee with. You know, if I was given a butt load of money and dropped in New Jeresy. (And my brain was removed.) Teresa is a bundle of trouble and embarrassment and no one I would want anywhere near my life. But, she's not, and never will be, which is why I can laugh at her. I could never figure out how Caroline Manzo became friends with Teresa Guidice??

So, while Teresa is getting the shit kicked out of her (deservedly), I am not enjoying it much. It's sort of like kicking a tree. You may damage the tree, but, the tree will never see your point of view. Caroline has a right to be mad. She does not have a right to bring up past confidences. It makes her look small and I no longer want to have coffee with her.

And Kathy looks like the sensible one, yet she does not appeal to me even enough to figure out why. Melissa cried. She has the right to cry, she's been hurt. I also know that while Tre is really dumb, seriously dumb, like handicapped dumb...Melissa is not. Oh, she may not know 'wench' from 'wretch', but, she's figured out how to make herself look good at this point. She knows when to shut up. She knows how to give shocked doe eyes. She's practiced it. She's a good actress. I think she could actually have a career in acting. Her manipulations are something to behold. Every other manipulating bitch on all the housewives shows should bow to Melissa Gorga.

Jacqueline skipped the reunion. Tre so much as called her a chicken shit and said she started something and she should finish it. I don't think Jaque is all that chicken shit (a little maybe), I think the fights shake her up so bad she needs medication. Her daughter Ashley has changed her name legally to Ashlee, gotten two tattoos and continues to live at home with no job. The princess in her castle, with two E's on the end of her name. It's life changing. Somewhere out there, probably on a porn set, Danielle Staub is cackling and fingering herself. Because Teresa has fallen off her own pedestal. And I feel dirty because I helped build that pedestal by laughing at a mentally deficient woman. But, I'll still watch the second part of the reunion, because the funny retard is breathing fire now. Right in the face of her only friend.