Let's start a new post for what's going on in the pumpkin post. If you're lost, read that one first. You may say anything you want about anyone you want. Bring on the drama. I'll be throwing my two cents in too. I hope no one is intimidated, you shouldn't be. As long as we have no moronic anons in the melee, we have nothing to be ashamed of. Sometimes things just need to be hashed out.
Sunday, October 9, 2011
Shit.. meet fan
Let's start a new post for what's going on in the pumpkin post. If you're lost, read that one first. You may say anything you want about anyone you want. Bring on the drama. I'll be throwing my two cents in too. I hope no one is intimidated, you shouldn't be. As long as we have no moronic anons in the melee, we have nothing to be ashamed of. Sometimes things just need to be hashed out.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
97 comments:
i have to say, that i have nothing else to say really than i said in the post below.....i'm sure angie will come back with a new insult or another way to attack me and i don't give fuck and i'm not gonna waste my day or energy answering her queries or defending myself against her and her friends because i owe them nothing.....
i don't think there's anything to 'hash out'.....after the deletion of fans it was sort of agreed that no dramz would be brought to your site and you would be kept out of it.....so i ignored "them" in the comments and they ignored me.....worked for a short bit....then the passive aggressive snarky comments started towards me, the off your site harassment (and at this time i did NOT know what others were going through as i was maintaining an ignorance is bliss attitude).....i didn't want to be a part of that and felt it best to just leave your site instead of having it brought here.......but i learned they kept it up anyway in the comments---insulting me.....i wasn't even here.....in a way, i didn't miss the anxiety or stress of encountering "them" in the comments but i was somewhat irked i couldn't come to my friend's site, but i figured it was for the greater good and i was taking the higher road and being the better person......
then i found out about the harassment others were subjected to for being my friend, i mean, i went into it all in the post below....but for some reason, some people aren't even satisfied when i'm not even here since they still insult me.....it fucking pisses me off that some people think they can control who the fuck comes to YOUR site.....but as i said, i felt it was for the greater good....
some people need to grow the fuck up....they're quick to diagnose me with labels but they won't look at their own behavior....and that night, angie & i had ended things cordially, i was gonna leave the group and that was that....then tonya got on and really? i know she was upset i had insulted her vagina but it digressed from there and i was involved but it was like a blur.....i know afterwards i was crying i was so upset and she was gleefully putting on her FB that she had told me to fuck off and it felt good.....
i'm not coming back to this post.....i'm not.....you should delete this post pat....really.....my anxiety is sky high even revisiting all this shit and these fucking cunts who i once thought i knew and thought were my friends.....and i keep thinking what they did to one person in particular.....it was bad what they did to everyone they bullied but one person in particular, it was horrible and all uncalled for......
so everyone have a field day portraying me as someone i am not....i'm not participating...i've said everything i'm going to say......
pat, you should have a happy open post or something.....let those fucking cunts win....i'd rather have peace of mind and inner peace than be exposed to their negativity, manipulation and mind games ever again......
sorry to disappoint you pat......maybe angie can shut the fuck up with her snarky comments towards me now? though i doubt it...it's probably second nature to her now......
ps pat---check your email....
now i'm logging out of blogger and going to go start by walking away from this, again, this time for good.......alpha waves are in order for peace of mind, then a nice long bath.....
I will miss you, Tia and you are welcome back anytime you feel like it. I understand that you need to back away now. Good energy to you.
I'd really like to know what you are talking about Tia, when you say one of your friends was harassed. Please stop being so cryptic and just lay down the facts. I'd be more than happy to offer DD an invite to the new facebook group so she can see exactly what was said and how this whole thing played out. It would probably bore her to death at the total LACK of drama. There were no conspiracies or movements to stalk or harass anyone. PLEASE have your friend step forward and tell their story. I'd love to hear it because I have no clue who or what you're talking about.
Every day that I logged onto Facebook, I wondered if I was still a member of Fans of DD.I wondered when would be the day that Tia was sick of me, delete me, and then mock me to the group like she did to others. I would bite my tongue. I would delete whole threads because you didnt like them, Tia. You started a whole new Fans group a couple days before you deleted the old Fans group. I had no idea because I was not invited to join. That showed me right there that you did not like me. I never did anything to you. I decided I would not get in your way on Fans. So what do you do? You go on my Facebook page and question things I talk about.My real life friends wanted to know why I put up with your incessant bullshit. I could not get away from you and it stressed me out.
The only reason I put up with you was because I really loved Tonya. That is why many of us put up with you. We were afraid of losing Tonya as our friend.
Now we do not have to worry about that.
Okay Pat, I said my peace. :)
I have something to say, because I can't say it out loud at home: my husband is awesome and I would like to tell my MIL to go fuck herself.
Today is Thanksgiving and I have to go sit at her table and pretend I like her, like I have for the past 20 years. But now it's different because my husband lost his father to cancer and just realized what a fake, smug bitch his mother really is.
I guess I should be grateful that I only have to face her on holidays now.
Thanks for letting me say that out loud. Happy Dry Turkey day to my Canadian peeps.
I really like my FB group of friends. Really great friends.
Happy Thanksgiving Kylie`s Mom!
Kylie's Mom..happy Canadian Thanksgiving. I forgot, sorry. Tell your mother in law to go fuck herself with a greasy drumstick. Tell her DD said so.
I tried to join Facebook once, but, it freaked me out, how invasive it is.
I was going to keep my thoughts to myself. I was having too much fun reading everyone's comments... and remembering my thoughts on your version. But now I must interject a comment. Briezy, you just said I lied. Sorry, but I was telling the truth. At that time I was not friends on FB with Tia. She blocked me at the same time everyone else was blocked. A very large part of my life has been based on truth, honesty and ethics (both personally & professionally). When I say something you can trust that it is the truth or an honest opinion. Yesterday when Tia said she was mailing me a letter was the first time I've heard/ had contact from her in any form (phone/ email/ USPS/ FB/ blog/ carrier pigeon or any other way). As for Brooke, she had the right to stay friends with anyone she wants. She was not running from one place to the other telling tales. I was defending Brooke's rights. When I was asked the final question before 'someone' so nicely deleted me... my answer still stands. Mean Girls. I believe Noelle (who was not involved in this) asked me what I thought about all of that / my opinion. I did not mean everyone in the group fell into that category. I was asked how I felt about the conversation, I commented on my observation as someone watching from the sidelines (altho, I was involved in the comments)
BTW, RE Kiki, I was the one that outed her, not Tia. If she hadn't been so stupid as to post a picture of the Brig Niagara from Wiki and claiming it was hers... she'd still be here. Stupid. The Brig is docked 10 miles from my house.
Calling BS that you don't know who Tia means when she's talking about a friend being harassed. And, it isn't me.
Heidi, it is amazing how most of us at FoDD felt everyday. I had the same impression that id be dropped out of the group if I said something that rubbed the administrator in the wrong way. That is probably the main reason I didn't partake in the conversations that often towards the end.
It is also rather painful to admit falling for the 1.61 joke just to be on the administrators good side. Bima is one generous soul.
Oh, and I don't "need to be reminded" to send anything via paypal. And id like to see that security system we all contributed for. Is that why the other group was formed? So that the question Angie rightfully asked about said security system could be further ignored? Why are Angie and Tonya bullies exactly? Because they are able to *gasp* speak up through the bullshit? They have been nothing but a class act.
I said my peace to , now im done with this topic.
I was going to keep my thoughts to myself. I was having too much fun reading everyone's comments.. and remembering my thoughts on your version. But now I must interject a comment. Briezy, you just said I LIED. Sorry, but I was telling the truth. At that time I was not friends on FB with Tia. She blocked me at the same time everyone else was blocked. A very large part of my life has been based on truth, honesty and ethics (both personally & professionally). When I say somethig you can trust that it IS the truth or an honest opinion. Yesterday when Tia said she was mailing me a letter was the first time I've heard/ had contact from her in any form (phone/ email/ USPS/ FB/ blog/ carrier pigeon or any other way). As for Brooke, she had the right to stay friends with anyone she wants. She was not running from one place to the other telling tales. I was defending Brooke's rights. When I was asked the final question before 'someone' so nicely deleted me... my answer still stands. Mean Girls. I believe Noelle (who was not involved in this) asked me what I thought about all of that/ my opinion. I did not mean everyone in the group fell into that category. I was asked how I felt about the conversation, I commented on my observation as someone watching from the sidelines (altho, I was involved in the comments)
BTW, RE Kiki, I was the one that outed her, not Tia. If she hadn't been so stupid as to post a picture of the Brig from Wiki and claiming it was hers... she'd still be here. Stupid. The Brig is docked 10 miles from my house.
And calling BS that you don't know who Tia means re the harassment. You know exactly who she is talking about and it isn't me.
I was going to keep my thoughts to myself. I was having too much fun reading everyone's comments... and remembering my thoughts on your version. But now I must interject a comment. Briezy, you just said I lied. Sorry, but I was telling the truth. At that time I was not friends on FB with Tia. She blocked me at the same time everyone else was blocked. A very large part of my life has been based on truth, honesty and ethics (both personally & professionally). When I say something you can trust that it is the truth or an honest opinion. Yesterday when Tia said she was mailing me a letter was the first time I've heard/ had contact from her in any form (phone/ email/ USPS/ FB/ blog/ carrier pigeon or any other way). As for Brooke, she had the right to stay friends with anyone she wants. She was not running from one place to the other telling tales. I was defending Brooke's rights. When I was asked the final question before 'someone' so nicely deleted me... my answer still stands. Mean Girls. I believe Noelle (who was not involved in this) asked me what I thought about all of that / my opinion. I did not mean everyone in the group fell into that category. I was asked how I felt about the conversation, I commented on my observation as someone watching from the sidelines (altho, I was involved in the comments)
BTW, RE Kiki, I was the one that outed her, not Tia. If she hadn't been so stupid as to post a picture of the Brig Niagara from Wiki and claiming it was hers... she'd still be here. Stupid. The Brig is docked 10 miles from my house.
Part one!
Dear Pat, I want you to know that I love visiting your site and always will. No one person will make me feel differently. I am not easily swayed by ridiculous shit. I have shit in my life everyday and I enjoy coming here and finding some peace and laughter. When I started visiting your site I saw that you had a tight group of ladies that commented. I missed out on most of the "DRAMZ" and am grateful for that. I have a life other than the internet and a household to run, so I'm not always here. I do know for a fact that I was asked, nicely, to give to a electric blanket fund. I GAVE AS MUCH AS I COULD WHOLEHEARTEDLY! Tia, said the amount was fine, that she understood that times were tough. I may live in Los Angeles, but I am not rich. I grew up in North Hollywood, pretty much poor. I have a glamorous address, but that's it. What I can't understand is that I was made fun of for the amount I gave behind my back. That hurt. In fact, there are posts on your site that alludes to this. I'm just too lazy to find them. I have moved on from the hurt. I'm over it. I will continue to give as much as I can to any of the wonderful people I have met here, including Lissa, I love that little red head.
The time line is strange for me. I thought that I was part of a FoDD group, I gave my donation and then, Poof! no more FoDD group on my facebook. I figured it was gone as no one commented on it here. Next thing I know, I'm invited to another group. I was a blissful idiot, BECAUSE I DID NOT KNOW WHAT WAS GOING ON! Thank goodness for that. Anyway, I do now and have since commented here and at a place where I can LAUGH, VENT, CRY, BE SILLY AND BE MYSELF! In the time I have been in the new group, I HAVE NEVER HEARD ANYTHING ABOUT, PLANS TO HARRASS, SPY, HATE ON, LOOK AT, VISIT SITES, OR MAKE PHONE CALLS TO TIA! Really, these women do not have the time or energy to do that.
Tia, I don't know you very well. I hope you find peace, I hope you find a solution to your allergies and problems with pain and sleep. I hope you are truthful to your friends at your site and to the new people you meet. I suggest not taking funds for things. Let people do it on their own.
The WWW is for everyone, but unfortunately, we are separated by miles and miles of road and will truly never know each other, but will try really hard to. I want you all to know that I will be posting another post defending my Friends ANGIE, TONYA AND ANY OTHERS THAT HAVE BEEN BAD MOUTHED HERE, but life is calling.
Thank you for allowing us to speak our peace. I've read a couple of the comments and I'll get my thoughts together and will lay out everything in my opinion. I appreciate getting this chance.
Bima, someone chided you for an amount? That is terrible. You and others have been so generous to me. It has humbled me as a person who is used to taking care of myself. I'm sorry you were hurt and I feel like I was the cause of it. Though all of it was unknown to me. Any comments that alluded to it would have gone over my head.
I don't want any more gifts. It seems to cause trouble and makes me uncomfortable. Just having people to talk to is enough for me and it always has been. Thank you for everything, all of you. From now on, your words are all I need.
Tonya, I look foreward to your thoughts, as always. :)
My apologies CJ, if you weren't lying then. After Tia deleted the group, we were very angry and felt as if our trust had been betrayed. The last thing we wanted was to distrust fellow members any longer. We honestly didn't care if Brooke remained friends with Tia as long as we knew we could trust her to keep what she read on the new site to herself. When she lied (and was caught) about being friends with Tia, that alone made her untrustworthy in our eyes. She had to go at that point. We made the decision by vote. Everyone agreed. We really struggled with that decision.
Then, you came in and called us "mean girls" and dismissed all the proof we tried to show you of Brooke's lies. Add that to the fact that not one of us knows your real name or anything about you, while you know EVERYTHING about us, led to our unanimous group decision to remove you as well. We just wanted a safe place where we can talk and share in private. I'm sorry it played out like it did, but I hope you understand now why it did.
I'm seriously pissed today, yesterday I got my period 5 days after the last one finishing. My doc says I have anemia so have been taking iron tablets & these things should be getting better not worse but yesterday I started the bleed again& today am headachy & grumpy. I need to change my coil, it is not helping the problem so the thought of having my vag messed with & the associated bleeding (last time I bled for 2 weeks solid) is not improving my mood. My son has been on my case all day, like 1000 revs per minute on the go & I am shattered. I haven't worked for 2 months, not a single fucking offer & not for want of trying, we are pretty much broke, there are no jobs & government assistance is slow coming & I have to fight tooth & nail for every penny as these fuckers are not making good their promise, the one where I work for the past 20 years paying 40% tax & never claiming a penny & they give me the necessary funds for my family not to starve or go homeless. CUNTS...I digress, so it has been fun reading all these posts about such an IMPORTANT issue. It has really put into perspective how minor my problems are!
and yes this is sarcasm. fuck
I have to stop reading comments as I'm starting to get angry. I will tell what happened instead:
There was a group on Facebook that 12 of us were active in and I was best friends with Tia. I cared about her a lot. She drove me crazy sometimes but I knew going into that friendship that would happen. The things that attracted me to her also drove me a little batty at times but overall it was a good friendship and THAT is what I think Tia is forgetting. 99% of our friendship was good. Just because it ended on a bad note doesn't make it all bad.
Tia had been threatening suicide for a while. Well, not threatening but referencing it and her life was crazy because the situation with her neighbors had gotten so bad. She was complaining about them constantly and what they had done but not taking any responsibility for the part she played in the whole situation. Kind of like she's doing now. It's all someone else's fault. Tia is a victim. We still felt sorry for her and we took up a collection to buy her a security camera and we sent her the money for said camera. My husband spoke with her on the phone to try to find one that fit her needs. When she was asked later to show us pictures of the camera she never did.
Well, about this time Angie got fed up and basically told Tia in the comments of our group that she was playing a part in the whole situation with her neighbor. Remember now, that I still considered Tia my best friend. The comment was made and it laid there like a rock for a few days. Some of the group members began messaging me asking about that as well as expressing concern that Tia would try to commit suicide. After a few days I made the supremely bad decision to sit down with Tia and Angie and hash this out.
Continued...
I'm proud to say I have no idea what any of you are talking about.
My conversation with Tia took hours and I spoke with her alone at first before Angie came online several hours later. During that time I said several times that Angie was out of line for speaking to Tia in such a harsh manner and that it was rude but I also thought that Angie was correct in her statement that Tia brought some of this on herself for antagonizing her neighbors. The conversation didnt go badly but I still could not get Tia to see any responsibility that she had in the situation with her neighbors. As the hours progressed something was said (I don't remember what) that lead me to believe that Tia thought our group, Fans of DD, was her group and I began to realize as I sat there that Tia was being awfully controlling and I told her that the name of our group was Fans of DD, not Fans of Tia. Oh, I remember why. It was because she was threatening to delete the group so as to avoid the "dramz." I told her it was not her group and that I wanted her to make every member there an administrator so we would all have equal control of that group. Much of our conversation began to focus on that. Me demanding to know if she would make us all equal partners and Tia saying that she needed to talk to Angie first, had to change her sheets, was confused because of medication she'd taken. I began to speak in short sentences and asked her over and over again, "Tia are you going to make everyone an administrator in this group and if so, when?" Tia became very agitated by my questioning because it was relentless. Of course, that is how I deal with people who are trying to sidetrack me. I wait until they are ready and then I ask the same question again until it is crystal clear what is going to happen. Tia felt at that time that she was being bullied but I waited long periods of time as she changed her sheets and did other things and then when she returned I would ask her again if she would make everyone an administrator and if so, when?
Angie came on after Tia was good and furious with me and they spoke of their troubles with each other. I learned then that Angie had never really been all that fond of Tia. I did not know this. I assumed everyone in that group loved Tia as I did. Fortunately for Angie, Tia was wound up at me and so she was actually able to communicate rather well with Angie. And there it should have died but it didn't.
What happened next was entirely my fault. I should have logged out and done something else but I was angry after several hours of talking to Tia and over the course of the evening it had become clear to me that Tia was using our group to fill her own needs and she was holding us all hostage in the meantime. I never wanted that group to end and that's why I harrangued her mercilessly about making us all administrators.
Continued...
Briezy, ... your apologies if I wasn't lying THEN ? ...that implies that I am lying now or have lied at other times. As for the 'proof' re Brooke, what that she was still friends with Tia? So what. I still have the comment stream from that final day. I see nothing that should have caused that attack. I don't lie and I don't make up stories, I am a very boring person when it comes to relating stories from the past, they never change.
RE the you don't know my real name or anything about my life. I am a private person. I talk about personal things with people I KNOW in real life. Not some stranger on the internet. The people who count know my real name and some of them have even seen pictures of me.
I'm not as clear on what happened next as I was about the prior discussion as I was angry at this point. This is the first time I'd ever been angry with Tia for anything and I continued pushing about the administrator thing. Although I do not remember exactly what was said I do know that I did not say anything rude or inappropriate as I went cold as I was speaking to her and when I am cold with someone I take a very formal tone. The discussion continued along the lines of the control issues that Tia was displaying and how this was not her group. OH! I remember now... Tia told Angie during their discussion that anyone who thought she had control issues (as I'd just claimed) should douche that idea out of their cunt or some such vulgarity. I took offense to that when she and Angie were finished talking. The argument escalated and I realized I was dealing with a "friend" who would turn to nasty vulgarities in a fight and it hit me like a flash that I didn't want to be Tia's friend anymore even if it meant losing a group of women that I cared a lot about. I knew that I would keep Frimmy as a friend and Angie but I believed I would lose all of the rest of them and in a spark of anger I said to Tia, "I hope you know that when I say this I mean it from the bottom of my heart. Go fuck yourself." As I went to log out, Tia responded by saying, "Go douche your cunt." That is the last time that I spoke with Tia and those were our final words. And if you've read along this far you may as well hear about what came next.
Everything that I have said and will say is 100% truth with the exception of a few minor details that don't affect the story, e.g., I'm sure my parting words to her were slightly different but the story remains the same. Of this I am positive and I swear it on my life and the head of my child. I have no interest in telling lies as the only person here whose opinion of me could change is the Dirty Disher. Everyone else I care about knows the truth and I would rather lose the friendship of DD than have to face myself as a liar.
Continued yet again...
I don't care who is lying or when they lied but thank you to CJ for supporting Briezy's point perfectly. You may believe what you like, I don't care, we believe we are all real and we all count.
Let me re-phrase CJ: "If you weren't lying AT THE TIME". NOT implying that I think you're lying now.
I don't see how you can't understand that it wasn't whether or not Brooke was friends with Tia, it was that she was LYING about it that made us suspicious of her. No one cares who's friends with who, we just didn't want to be lied to. Again, let me repeat for clarity's sake: Brooke's lies got her thrown out, not her friendship with Tia. And if you think we were "attacking" her when we called her out, then fuck. I don't know what to say about that.
Additionally, no one cares how private you choose to be, but when a group full of freshly burned people is trying to figure out who to trust, chances are they're gonna drop the one who doesn't even reveal her first name.
Bubble: What a bitchy thing to say. Sorry we've wasted your precious time with our silliness.
Tonya, I think that came across as the painfully truthful account of the end of a friendship. Sometimes friends have to end it. Thank you for telling me.
You are always welcome here.
Bubble, you are absolutely correct.
yeah makes me a major bitch to be pissed that people are trying to kill this blog.
Bubble hugs. Let it play. They have things they need to say. It's good to get it all out in the open, I think.
I logged off and went to bed later on that evening. I told my husband what had happened and he chided me for pushing Tia as I did. He was always a fan of Tia and he not only felt protective of her because she had been damaged in her childhood (his words not mine) but he thought she was a good person. So yes, I took an ass chewing over the whole thing. I went to bed and woke up the next morning to see what damage had been done while I slept.
While I'd talked to Tia I had threatened a few times to leave her group and start one of my own where everyone would be an admin (You can see a theme here). I did no such thing and I didn't plan to. I got on Facebook to see who I still had as a friend and almost immediately after I logged in I got a message from Iambriezy saying that she had started a new group and sent me an invitation. I eagerly joined as I was afraid I'd lost her friendship. It was there that I learned Tia had deleted our old group. All of our conversations and especially our rememberences of Beth after she died were gone. It struck me that Tia, who had railed the loudest when Beth's family deleted her FB following her death and voiced her feeling that they deleted her from our lives, did the exact same thing to us. It was all gone. And I felt she did it all to spite me and that in her spite she didn't care if she hurt the others.
Tia started her own group as well and I was, naturally, not invited to join. Especially after I put up a post on my blog saying that as far as I was concerned she should consider me dead. In the beginning the 2 groups had an understanding that you could belong to both groups if you wanted to. This changed later when there were suspicions of 'spies' and 'rats.'
Out of 12 people who were active in our old group 8 of them decided to join the new one and the first few days were emotional as everyone BUT me came forward to discuss the things Tia had done and said to hurt them. It amuses me in a sad way to read Tia's account of how she felt bullied and attacked because every single one of those 8 except me came forward with a story. A story I didn't know and I cried over all that shit for 2 days. For 2 days I was a whiny, sniveling, snot-faced wimp. Not only because I didn't know but because I still missed Tia. Was I angry? Yes. Did I know that the friendship wasn't good for me? Yes. Did I miss her? Fuck yes. There were a few times I thought about telling all those bitches to fuck off and calling Tia and begging her to forgive me. I never told any of them that but I'm being honest here now. There's a part of me that still does want to do that. Tia was a good friend to me. She was loyal and funny and smart and I love her. Sometimes, however, you have to realize that you can't give someone the help that they need and you can't put yourself in a position to go down that road with them.
As the stories came out more and more the new group became closer than the old one and we were all leery of 2 group members in particular and I won't go into the drama over that here since they're not here and not saying anything. I will just say that they weren't trusted and they were removed. It could have been done nicer, perhaps but I wouldn't change their removal.
Continued one more time...
Who is the bully in the situation? Well, when 8 out of 12 members in your group (I say 12. There were a couple more but they were inactive) all leave you at once and refuse to be your friend you have to ask yourself what part you played in that. 75% of your group left you, Tia and that says something. They didn't leave for me because I never started a new group and I was careful in the days that followed not to set myself up as a figurehead. I'm not the boss of that group and I never was. They saw me at my weakest and they let me yammer on hour after hour about how hurt I was and blah, blah, blah. Yes, the group was bashing you for the first few days but is that a surprise? Our internet worlds were upside down. But you can't keep a group going for any period of time just on anger toward someone. And in time that died off. It's now a boring old group for 40 year old women. We talk about cooking and husbands. Last night we had a racous time comparing the smallest penises we've ever seen.
Tia, I've made it clear here how I feel about you. Although you've repainted this in your mind to where you were a victim of me and bullied by me you know that's not true. I never bullied you a day in your life. And what I'm going to say to you right now I say to you with love and without a drop of anger in my heart: Nobody here is wanting to hurt or bully you. Nobody here is anonymously fucking with you. You KNOW us. You know our innermost thoughts and you know me better than you know anyone else. You know that I wouldn't hurt you without it being a defense. You know I'm not organized enough to pull off a full scale attack on anyone. All I am guilty of doing is talking shit on you in private to my friends. I can't speak for the others but it occurs to me that Angie had a problem with you and her response was to ask you about it outright while signed into her own account. If I had any problems with you I'd do the same. I don't, however, have any problems and I don't want to bully you. I want you out of my life. I think you hurt a lot of my friends and I think you bullied and attacked them for months. And they took it because they were afraid that if they stood up for themselves you would kick them out of your group. And we all know it was your group, Tia. If not, why did you delete the thing? It was always about control and the more you try to hang on to something to control it the slippery it becomes. There was really no way this all could have turned out any differently than it did. And in the end you see us as you do your neighbors: Mean bullies out to pick on you even though you did nothing wrong. And the next people you have a problem with will also be bullies who are out to pick on you through no fault of your own. And so forth. And so on. This is your pattern.
I wish you the best of luck and I will continue to avoid and ignore you but I want you to move on past this. The rest of us have and it's time you do too. Be friends with whoever you want. Do whatever you want. Go wherever you want. My only concern is that you leave my friends alone. If you leave them alone then it's none of my concern what you do in your life. I do hope that you have a good life. You were a good friend to me, Tia and I have no complaints about our time together. I'm sorry you don't remember it the same way I do.
Peace.
I have no idea what everyone is talking about, but I'm sorry to see so many hurt feelings. DDs site has always been a refuge for me.
I've been dealing with a terminally ill family member, trying to stay employed and survived the worst bought of diarrhea and vomiting I've ever had this past week.
I've watched the RHONJ all day yesterday and today, I don't have the energy to turn the channel. I think I have spent a total of 14 hrs this weekend watching those crazy people from the Garden State. I shouldn't talk, I've eaten almost 3.5 lbs of candy I bought for Halloween over the last 36 hrs.
I am a tub of goo. But at least I'm not Teresa Guidice.
Reading the comments. Perhaps Bubble doesn't realize this post was set up for this story? If you don't want to read it you can probably find another post on this blog to read. Personally, I don't really want you here reading our business anyway.
Hugs to Beth, just cuz you need it. Keep on keepin' on. Sorry, you're having such a bad time of it.
I like Iambriezy's offer. DD, feel free to come and check out our group. You don't have to put in your real name. CJ was part of our group for months without telling anyone her name. Make up a new email address and a fake name and come see it. Of course, if you choose to do so it would be wise to send us the info from your email address as we are all wary of imposters. But otherwise, hell yes! You're welcome to come check out the lack of drama.
Where is it? Can you send a link?
CJ, You were removed from the group because we didn't trust you and still don't. You wouldn't even give us the courtesy of your real first name. We all felt that we wanted a group where we ALL shared. You didn't have to share and we don't have to be your friend. You can call us mean girls if you want. I won't even argue with you. What I argue with is the idea that we bullied Tia. You never mattered Cj, because we don't even know you. We don't know anything about you and our group is based upon sharing and other feminine shit like that. We didn't want a masked stranger. I won't go into what happened with Brooke because she's not here to defend herself. The short answer is, we didn't like you both and we didn't want you in our group. We're allowed to pick and choose who we want to be friends with and that's the only thing we ever did to you. You were removed just as Tia removed Bima all those months ago. But you didn't have a problem when it was Bima. You only care when it's you and your friend.
Thanks Pat, this is my little go to place to have a laugh & read your original posting style, this whole this feels like an assault but you are right, seems things need airing. Beth, I'm with you & hope you feel better soon.
Tonya said...
Reading the comments. Perhaps Bubble doesn't realize this post was set up for this story? If you don't want to read it you can probably find another post on this blog to read. Personally, I don't really want you here reading our business anyway.
umm luv, you are posting on a PUBLIC blog, it's on the internet FOREVER. If you don't want to be exposed to others posting then take it to a private chat room. Jebus.
I'm rereading my account and I see that I keep referring to the 8 of us. There are 8 now. In the beginning there were 10. We kicked two of them out. Also, I invited Bima back into the group so in all honesty there were only 7 of Tia's friends who vacated. I'm sorry for not being clear.
It's 9, Tonya ;)
Bubble, fuck off. I don't care who reads this. Don't call me 'luv.' I don't know you and what I've seen I don't like. Fuck off. You're the one who came here to a post about this very situation and started complaining about us talking about what Pat ASKED us about. For fuck's sake, you told us about your period. Who gives a shit? What a fucking attention whore. This isn't about you. I'm sure you'd like it to be but it's not. You can rail about your unemployment and your menstrual cycle as much as you wish but in the end, you're still not the focus, Bubble.
LMFAO! I love my blog.
Thanks, Elisa. It is 9. I keep thinking it's 8 because I forget to count myself.
10 of us left fans.
2 of those were kicked out.
Bima was added.
9 of us.
Pat, I put up a message in the group asking everyone if they minded if you came along. So far I've seen one response that says OK. Nobody else has answered. As soon as they do (I'm sure they will all OK it) we'll email you a link. You're welcome there.
You know, I've had about all I can take of being blamed, insulted, vilified even, for being honest. For asking an honest question that to date, I've gotten no response for. This is how it always is. If you disagree with Tia, you are the enemy. I may have started the co-operative awareness, but I promise you, once these ladies realized they were not alone in their feelings, it was like a floodgate broke. It's not easy being the person who volunteers to go first, but I'm glad I did. Finally, the air seems clearer and if that makes me a trouble making bitch, well, so be it.
Tonya, let me clarify a few points. First, I was a member of the group for more than months. I was in it long before you joined. Several people did ask me my real name, when they did, I told them. Did you... NO. But, for not liking or trusting me we did seem to exchange a fair amount of emails or did you forget. And my real first name was included in my signatute. You seemed quite pleased to post pictures on your blog that I sent you. You were excited about the recipe I sent and the youtube videos. I never said anything about Tia being bullied, I was commenting on Brooke. You are correct tho, we can choose our friends. I never considered you one, you were an online acquaintance. You should consider getting out and finding some real life friends.
Tonya,
As you started with the swearing & insults to me I presume you can take this...
you are a pathetic cunt who needs to get fucked. Yes this sad little squabble taking over this blog between a bunch of grown ass women over shit that happened on the internet is clearly so much more important than my actual real life that you think it is ok to throw it in my face. I hope your life turns to shit & someone rubs your face in it. Maybe you can make a dig about the terminal illness Beth is dealing with??? seems your style you sicko.
You call me an attention whore, ha, good one, do you actually read the shit you write or does it just drivel out of your pea brain into the keyboard, you have no compassion or interest in anyone or anything except yourself but bitch, you are not in charge here, so if you don't want comment, then don't post on a public blog.
you don't like me? You don't even know me & thank fuck for that, I wouldn't piss on a selfish selfcentred old slag like you if you were on fire. So head on over to facebook & tell your 8 friends how a nasty woman on the internet was a mean girl to you or you could try growing the fuck up & getting a clue.
Listen here, you fucking bitch. Pat created this particular post for this particular subject. You are welcome to post, but why would you want to? You know no one here, or maybe you do, I don't know, but what I do know is that insulting Tonya is going to get you into a world of shit with plenty of the people here. Shut the fuck up.
Cj, Thank you for your response. I have nothing further to say to you.
Oh, what a surprise. Here comes Bubbles to the party. Let's all stop everything and pay attention to Bubbles. Please, tell me more about your medical ailments on a post that isn't about you.
lmfao at you angie. really??? just a quick question, how old are you exactly?
I've been posting here for a couple of years now, not often but when i feel like it. that's what it's for you know, not a little private club for you & your "friends" to control.
So like it or lump it, i couldn't give a fuck but your sad little threats about "a whole world of shit" just makes you sound stupid.
Also, not to antagonize CJ but your comments about making 'real life' friends shows why we booted you. The fact that you didn't consider us worthy of being 'real life' friends is the reason why we didn't want you around. You need not worry about me and my life and my friends or lack thereof. I will be OK.
Angie,
Why on Earth are you posting on a topic designed especially to ask you about your thoughts and feelings when it is CLEAR that we all need to drop everything and study Bubbles' menstrual cycle and unemployment woes? Yes, all of this bullshit was built so we could all sit around and listen to Bubbles, someone who was less involved in all of this than CJ. She is the important one here.
Bubbles,
If we all sit around and tell you how important you are will you go ahead and let us finish discussing the other topic we were all involved in?
DD,
We're still waiting on Bima, Noelle, and Heidi but everyone else has said you're welcome there.
Um...exactly why does this bubble person imagine she has anything to add to this particular conversation? Unless she has been involved directly with this situation under another name she has no basis on which to make any comment other than as an observer and she has clearly shown she is neither objective nor impartial. It would be Pat's opinion we care about here, not yours.
Maybe we could just ignore it. It's muddying up the main issues with crap we don't need to filter through.
Agreed, Frim. She got my goat and it turned this into something about her and it's not. I'll scroll past her future comments and hopefully Angie will do the same.
No worries here. Carry on.
yep, all about me tonya when you are the one who can't let it go but then that seems to be the theme. still doing the smug cunt bit about other peoples actual real life problem too but never mind, the universe has a way of making things balanced & when it does, just remember today ;)
Go back to your oh so important bitch fight "ladies" (term used loosely) I have no nag in this race just expressing my view on the pointlessness of it all but clearly unless you are in camp tia or camp tonya you aren't entitled to post.
Whew! Let me just chime in I love this blog have for years. Love the author have for years. :) Love my FB friends and I will be able to say for years soon. Hope the anger and hate and distrust can find peace.
Thanks DD :)
I read a couple of these but I'm pretty much lost on all of this, so I stopped. I think I was also in the Friends of DD group but now I can't find it anywhere. I wanted to contribute as much as I could, but between Nathan and me we bring in less than $1000 per month, so it probably wouldn't have been very much. But I am an excellent shopper, meaning I am usually lucky at finding very nice things for not very much money at all (we don't have department stores so much as thrift stores and Habitat re-stores and closeout stores, so it's easy to get lucky). DD would you ever consider getting a Paypal donate button or just direct people to an address where we could mail things? I always see things that I think would be great for a little cutie pie like Lissa.
I'm sorry there's some dissonance going on here. Hope it all works out! I'll keep reading...best to you Dirty D and Lissa!
Holy shit. Sadly, this have turned into a soap. I read here on the regular and it's a shame so many friendships have gone in the shitter.
How about those steelers? Lol
Fairy
Wow Jessica! Yes I remember you were at the group (or secret club, whatevs) for a hot minute. I was wondering where you went :)
Thanks, Jessica, but, I don't want anything. Except my friends and they don't all like each other. But, that's okay too. We don't have to all have the same friends to be friends.
Hopefully the air is cleared. I'll put on a bitch post once a week from now on and let the hash be settled.
And I don't want anyone to leave. No one will be picked on in other posts. None of us are that type. I already know that.
its funny how all these groups, at one time or another, dissolve into meltdown and turn into snake pits.
i think i understand now why crabbie doesnt engage with his readers.
but i do like the subplot here, it does make things more entertaining, but its only entertaining because i have always kept my distance.
although i've prob been reading dd for longer than many of you, none of you know my name. i got burnt, badly, on a group years before i found this place and have learnt that keeping a distance is the best way to stay out of trouble.
TONYA i have spent hours online only to end up reduced to floods of tears and freaked for days. its not worth it.
people are much more restrained when dealt with face to
face.
MISS TIA, i'm sorry it ll turned to shit for you. i always found you colourful and funny. i missed the whole dramz around you and was only wondering the other day where you'd got to. now i know.
DD im sorry you have to deal with this snake pit when you have other stuff going in your life and dont need some of your readers dragging you down.
after all you are, first and foremost a writer and thats what you are doing here. entertaining us all with your witty writing style and sharp incisive insights.
its obvious that the the friendships you have formed here are well worth wading through some of the shit brought here by some readers. i guess you take the good with the bad.
BUBBLE i think you're REVOLTING.
frankly, i've sometimes wanted to take advantage of the fact that no one sees me face to face and to therefore let it rip.
but i never have, out of respect for the fucking awesome woman who puts her energy into sharing her space, her trials and tribulations with us, through thick and thin.
i dont know why that isnt enough for some of you, and why if you can't stay nice then just restrain yourselves.
why make it so unpleasant for everyone? whats the gain in that? just because you can?
show a little respect, if not for pats readers, then for pat. this is her space, you should respect that and keep your bitchy comments and innuendos to yourself.
dont you think her life isnt tough enough already without some of you dick heads coming in here and acting like a pack of bitchy immature teenagers?
so... just TRY to keep it nice girls.
sorry pat, if i've overstepped mt mark. but since you've opened this space for bitching... here is mine.
;-)
No you didn't overstep, but, today I asked for it. All of them really did try and keep it off here, but, I knew something was up. I just didn't know what it was about. So, now I do. Thanks for what you said about me, but, I honestly didn't mind the last two posts. No one is making me take any side and it's all good.
Wow. I have been a reader here for quite a long time. I don't have a screen name because...frankly, I don't know how..lol. My name is Michelle B. and I read only two blogs...DD and Bitchy Waiter. I have never tried to get in with the "group" because of BS like this.
I think Pat is a wonderful soul and have personally tried to send her some help thru paypal only to have her send it back to me saying she couldn't accept it. I have read her other blog and think she should make it in to a novel...its just outstanding writing.
Not everyone has to like everyone else...if everyone agreed on everything this world would be a boring fucking place. So a few of you bitches don't like a few of the other bitches....GET THE FUCK OVER IT! You all like the bitch that brought you to this site now quit fighting like babies and play nice....you all have your little FB groups...scream over there. Your running off the riff raff like me! lol
I've read ALL the comments for a super long time and you are all MENTAL! Pat is a mental case some days...and so am I...that's why I am here. I can relate to it.
It's like some of you have to feel that you are in the "know" by being personal friends with Pat and you think you need a special group to do so. I would love to have Pat as a personal friend but know that this is how it goes and I have to admire from afar and the times that I want to send $ to help her out with things like electricity or a internet bill I have to accept the fact that she just won't open that paypal deal and accept it. I am surely not going to send it to a bunch of fighting bitches that wanna argue over control of a friend group, whine over a picture of a security system or a furnace fund (BTW...I side with Tonya, but you are quite the snark sometimes...as am I).
Pat could solve this nice a quick by getting a damned PO BOX and ACCEPTING MY FRICKEN PAYPAL GIFT!!!..lol. I don't want thanks or praise. Just to be able to help you with a bill or two in appreciation for giving me a few moments everyday of: ok, I am sane somewhat. It would be a hell of alot cheaper that a shrink!
btw..I just now..after two years figured out how to get a screen name and not anonymous...ty all!
DD,
I like the idea of a weekly bitch-fest. Honestly, when dealing with a large group of women it's sometimes a positive to have the chance to let out little things before they become big things. If we'd all done that from the beginning then none of this shit would have happened in the first place. I do hope, however, that when a post is designated to be a spot where bitching is appropriate that there won't be a lot of people coming around and trying to invalidate it. It puzzles me why people want to tell us why we're childish and need to get over it yet they're here reading it all. But then again I don't understand why trolls come around and say nasty shit instead of finding a blog they like.
As for me, I'm skipping Bubbles posts. I'm sure there's nothing there to be gained by reading them and it's not like she knows what's going on anyway. The person I DO want to hear from is Tia. I've went for a long walk and written some stuff down and I've realized that whatever it is she has to say is OK by me. I got to say what I wanted and Tia, if you're reading this, I'm ready to read what you have to say. As I told Pat earlier I still love you. You were a good friend to me and I will always remember you that way. If you have something you want to say to me outright then know that I will read what you have to say. I may not agree and I may become angry but I'll read every word of it. I had my say and you deserve yours too.
pat you SHOULD m ake it possible for people to forward you money. why the fuck not? why shouldn't you get paid as a writer. thats what you are, a WRITER. writers get paid and if people want to pay you then just go ahead and make that a possibility. i know you are too honest and honerable and proud and independant for this, but just look at it from the prospective that you are being paid as a writer in the same way people pay you to read their cards. i hope you do it, because you deserve a financial reward for what you do here!! and i know who will get the most benefit from it anyway... your beautiful grand daughter lissa and why shouldn't she benefit from grans writing money.
so....go for it!!!!
Put a tip jar out like Bitchy does. Fuck anyone that wants to give you shit about it! You honestly believe any of the bitches here are not gonna sound off a full on war with someone that gives you grief or even so much as makes a comment about it???? These women are ready to battle to the death between themselves over disrespecting you....lets see a new person say anything!!
Exactly! BW does the tip jar! Pat, you have entertained me for several years now, and would like to pay you for your work. It seems like a sin to give it away for free! I would hope you might consider letting us "subscribe", please?
PS This Corina 1.0, looks like I didn't set up my name on Google correctly!
I agree with the idea for a tip jar. Although you (DD) may think that it caused a lot of problems I think the main problem everyone had was that the money was all collected by one person. People want to give you money, so why not allow them? The gifts will not stop coming as your address was released to some of us. All that will happen is that it will put others in a place where they are being trusted to send those things on and the way to deal with that is to allow them to send money if they want to. And why shouldn't we? You put work into this blog and it obviously affects a great number of people who come here regularly. Why not make some money from those who want to give? Nobody HAS to and nobody's expected to but if they want to it would be nice to have that option.
I know you are a proud woman but I hope you don't think of that as some sort of charity. I don't think of the Bitchy Waiter as a charity, he's a guy trying to make a buck off something. I've never donated to him but I certainly appreciate that some have. If I could make money blogging I'd give up school in a heartbeat.
I like the tip jar idea also. Then you can use the gifts how you see fit.
And we will still send you stuff. I have been wanting to share seeds for years.
We all know how proud you are DD. It's not fair to us trolls and lurkers who don't want to be part of the dramz (or don't know how)to have to go thru someone else to gift you.
You can protest all you want. No one here should expect anything from you for a gift given to you. We all know that.
I read this fb status earlier-
"My wireless internet has been out for a few days. I think its really irresponsible of my neighbors to have forgotten to pay their bill on time."
LOL at chelb33!
Money is the root of some deep shit. I'm gonna win the lotto. And we are all gonna go stay in a haunted castle.
It's a thought. Not meaning to push. I can be overbearing most days.
well im going to be pushy....
WE WANT TIP JAR!!!!!!!
grrrrrrrr
DD, I just want to say that I think your leaving these two posts open for the rumble was really smart. I think everyone involved will come out the other side better for getting it out in the open today.
I am a riffraff bitch who was not run off.
Good. No one should be run off but the trolls.
Tonya, just for clarification- was part of the October 9, 2011 10:18:00 PM GMT-02:00 post directed at me?
@Melissa,
I'm not sure what happened, if I was kicked out or the group ended...I'm pretty sure I didn't leave. Honestly all I remember was I was added to the group or I asked to join and that was the last of it. I have a pretty horrible memory though--I didn't even remember about that at all until reading some of this. No worries though.
@Pat,
You're right, this kind of thing happens in real life too, where people you're friends with can't stand each other and it makes get-togethers super awkward or tense. That's just life, I guess. The important thing is people wouldn't come here if they weren't interested in what you had to say, so please just keep it coming!
Chelb33,
I was referring to Bubbles when I said that. I don't see you saying that nobody should talk about it so no it wasn't. It does go for anyone who feels the same way as Bubbles. It's not like this post was put up here and I started talking about my relationship with Tia and derailed the conversation. What I said was appropriate and asked for. It's ridiculous to me that someone would come along and tell people not to talk about something they were asked to talk about especially if it doesn't even involve you. So, we're cool as long as you don't ever try to tell me to shut up. And I promise not to tell you to shut up.
lol, I was just checking. My post earlier was meant to lighten the mood.
I know this bruhaha is very important to some of you and painful, for that I feel badly. I think someone just tried to smother the fire a bit by being sarcastic and pointing out other problems out there and if you were to look back...is this all worth the anger? To you, yes. To others...no. I think the fight ended up getting derailed into another fight by someone trying to stop the fight..lol. To you it might have felt that you were being belittled and to her like you were being a meglomaniac.
Why attack someone for having a difference of opinion? Yes, this thread was created for people to bitch about a particular subject, but I didn't think it was a free for all to disrespect each other....
My hats off to DD for handling it the way she has and just letting you all hash it out...without seeming stressed or anything.
I do need to ask, are all the people that don't post regularly, but clearly devoted considered trolls if they voice an opinion different than the circle? How is one supposed to take a comment "Personally, I don't really want you here reading our business anyway." on a public blog? I thought this was open, but if there is some group to join in order to read, appreciate and post someone fill me in.
For us devoted that are not in the "click"(I don't intend that to be snarky either) its scary to see all of this (the thread intended arguement) and don't want to see the possibility of the blog ending because the inner circle had a war...so naturally a few are going to try to derail it. DD stopped the derailment and then the derailer was attacked. I just don't get it.
lia, I am REVOLTING? lol, ok if you think so then I am taking it as a compliment as you clearly think tonya initial attack on me was ok. you on the other hand are a lemming. you just don't know it yet.
Chellb33, thank you for understanding but I fear you have bought yourself a "world of pain" ;)
here's hoping the frenemies of DD can put this all behind them & this blog go back to being a place of support.
Yowza what a shit storm. Me? I got nothing.
I love this blog. Always check it first in my google updates.
I usually don't read comments or leave them but when I saw 87? I couldn't resist.
Whoa.
What took so long?
Hey Biz. LTNS!
wow..... I read all of the previous posts, then I started on this one and got passed the middle... now I feel like I'm in a "sophomoric initiation"
People of you can't stand each other so what....... answer to the ones you do like, ignore the others but GIVE IT UP ALREADY.
Yeah yeah I know.... I'm not part of you "little inner group"... in the beginnig I tried to post often, to answer things, sometimes funny sometimes serious.... and you know what???? YOU ALL IGNORED ME.... you all knew I was a close friend of Pats, yet for some reason I didn't "fit in" so you made believe I wasn't there. How is that for "being open to one and all"????
Come on girls, I remember when Tia was "the IN girl" now she's the leper.... We all have our issues but life goes on and we deal with it as best as we can.... LET IT GO ALREADY....
Pat, as to you.... you know I how far back we go and the friendship we formed so many years ago... I know all you've been thru since Lissa was born, the pain of Erics death etc etc.... I will always read here because I love your style and will keep bugging you to "go commercial" and make some money from that talent. :)
I love you as DD but even more as Pat.....
Nadine
YOU are one of my favorite people, Nadine. One of the few who actually know me.
Thank you Pat.... that gave me a good feeling.... :)
Post a Comment