We are in our second week of trying a rewards chart for good behavior. The 'chores' on it are, brushing teeth, bedtime at 8, picks up clothes, picks up toys, no yelling (uses words instead), eats dinner, gets dressed, takes showers...all with only being told twice. Once and then a warning. At first, it sucked. It was hard to enforce because she yelled that I could shove my stupid chart. "My mommy doesn't make me brush my teeth or wash my hair! I hate your stupid chart, I'm NOT doing it!!!"But, we just completed the first week and Sunday I told her to take the star/sticker part off and hand it to me. She asked why? I said, because it's just like a check, you get two dollars. OMG! "Two dollars, for real? Cash money??" Yes. AND if you get 10 stickers on weekends, those can be turned in for shopping trips, game night, movie night or scooter time in the park. Holy macaroni!!!! Now she's so excited to earn her stickers and get her moolah I don't have to tell her twice. It's working. She was ready for school 20 minutes early today! That's never happened before.
25 comments:
AWESOME!!!
So awesome. I was so tired of trying to convince her that people do too shower every day. The constant badgering for every little thing is stressful. 8 bucks a month buys some major relief.
She got to visit her mom last night. She must have talked about our chore chart. I got a call from DHS asking if I give Lis 'excessive' chores? Welcome to my world.
and that's just more evidence her mother can't even teach her or have her do basic hygiene....i mean brushing your teeth, bathing, these are basic daily things (though if you're staying home i know bathing can go a day....but you know what i mean....)....and being responsible for picking up....things are the things children should learn at her age instead of emptying ashtrays and doing laundry.....
"EXCESSIVE CHORES"?!?!?! they think brushing teeth, picking up, bathing, etc is excessive????? yet, emptying an ashtray is okay????
They have to investigate claims. The woman is lying on me left and right. I could write a book, everyday it's something else. She is still not allowed to be alone with her own children. That speaks volumes to me.
As for hygiene, I potty trained her, I taught her to wipe her butt, I taught her to wash her privates, I taught her to wash her hair, I taught her to use deodorant and brush her teeth. I taught her to change her underpants and socks every day, I taught her to use a napkin when she eats. And to say please and thank you. Her mother taught her to empty ashtrays and pick up beer cans. Bitter? Yeah, kinna.
yeah, supervised visitation speaks volumes....
i totally understand your bitterness.....
I have always done right by the kid when she's here, but, now I have to be extra careful. Patience and hard work. And documentation.
Why does mother have any influence or validity at all. what a pain. Keep on keeping on.
things are hotting up here too. our bully has charged vixtim with theft!
Yep, I responded to that, Lia. Bullies use lies to get out of shit they cause.
damn, my 4 year old has to do all that stuff for zero reward except a well done & good boy. his reward chart is for not being a smart arse argumentative little bugger at school & for not challenging kids 2 grades above him to wrestling matches. lol. you are doing a good job Pat, no one sane would think hygiene & tidying up after yourself is excessive chores. on an unrelated note, my car just got stolen from out back of my house about 2 hrs ago so I am pissed & stress eating chocolate. hope you are all having a better evening.
Oh Bubble what a deal. Sorry.
I with you it kind of sucks that you have to provide rewards for expected behavior makes me nuts. But it works.
Friggin' thieving idiots! Im sorry about your car bubble. It's absolutely infuriating!
Pat - it's hard enough to teach kids the basics in caring for themselves when there is a consistent routine and positive reinforcement. Add into the mix what your beautiful granddaughter has gone through and it becomes a big 24/7 headache! You seem to have a good handle on it. Hopefully it will soon become her new normal.
Bubble... sorry about your car. Hope they find it & in the same condition as when it was stolen.
Pat, you are teaching Lis to be a responsible person. Lessons that every person is supposed to learn. With your help, she'll turn out to be a successful adult.
I bet Lissa's teachers notice a big difference in her at school. I hope they're talking you up to the social workers--more documentation.
Sometimes I wish we could all go live on a compound! We all love animals. Don't believe in religion. I can't cook, but maybe Pat could teach me to garden or I could learn to sew our clothes from hemp we weave ourselves and we could all grow unibrows and ass length mullets. Yeah. And Bravo runs 24/7 on the TV.
DD, when I worked in corporate America there was a woman who was going to take our company to court because she said she was being harassed by our unit. I was dragged into HR because she said she didn't like the way I walked...she found it threatening. The next day another co-worker was dragged into HR because this woman found the way my co-worker said "good morning" to be threatening. You get the idea. This went on for weeks. While we're all sick and tired of this trouble maker and wondering why the company wasn't doing anything about her, they were actually gathering all of the information they could on her to make a case. She was, finally fired. What I'm trying to say is, keep on doing what you're doing. You are doing a fantastic job. They know this. It's just a matter of time. Stay patient..please.
sorry pat, i've been a bit full of it... havent i? if this workplace bullying situation is blowing my mind, i just cant imagine how your situation must be messing with your head. i thought beth made a good point when she metioned lissa's progress at school.
Bubbles, I'm sorry about your car. Thieves never care about how they mess up someone else's life. It sucks.
Lia, you're fine. I hope the bully gets what's coming to them.
Thank you all for the advice, which I am taking.
Pat it's nothing compared to what you & lissa are going through right now, it is a minor annoyance but not life changing..
The po-po found the car this am park in a residential street 5 minutes away, went to take a look & the whole starting column is ripped out, no way to start it at all & they smashed both driver & passenger windows!! luckily it was due to be scrapped anyway & I have a better car already but still going to cost me to get it picked up now. fucking chav turds!!! on a positive note though the jumbo box of washing powder I had in the boot was still there. lol!!!
Hope you have a better day today. thinking of you both.
DD your such a true blessing in Lis development. I hope it never changes. She needs you and you need her. I'm glad to hear things are starting to work out.
sucks about your car bubble! glad you had a backup, but STILL!!
good point jo---keep letting her talk, they can use that against her....and good point about the teachers, they have to see an improvement in lissa in school!!
bullies do always get their comeuppance....it's just a shame when children are involved....
I think this will turn out for the best. It will just be a long journey to get there.
Beth, like our idea But do we have to put all the hemp into clothing?
Her teacher told her she likes me because now Lis is on time for school every day.
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