Hobo spider

The Hobo is really common around here. Most people don't even realize how dangerous they can be. They're on the poison level of the Recluse and can hurt you bad. The experts say you can recognize them by those mandible things in front, that look like fangs. They're long, strong and have knob looking things on the ends. I read that only the Hobo has those. But, that's not true. See, experts piss me off. Because the Recluse also has those knob things. So, what the fuck? I learned to recognize them from the body pattern. They call it 'herringbone', but, it looks like a Singer sewing machine's zig-zag stitch to me. They're sturdy, come in a variety of boring colors and have hairs on thier legs. And they always seem to have that zig-zag stitched pattern on the butt. But, the real way to identify them is thier speed. These are the fastest little mother fuckers I've ever seen. If you see a dark blotch zipping by like a teeny superman on crack...you know. Smack it and look at it dead. Hobo.

You can look them up and agree or disagree if you're curious. They're a good hunter and they throw webs in the grass. Flat webbing with a tunnel in it somewhere. I leave them alone outside. I killed one comming in under the door last night. I'd raked up it's habitat outside the door earlier and disturbed it, I'm sure. They don't hunt people, but, you can get bitten when you don't see them and put pressure on them. I got bitten by one a few years ago. The wound was open and bleeding for months and I was really sick. So, if I see them streaking by me in the house, I smack and ask questions later. They can be tiny or very large.