“Lamaze is bullshit,” she says. “They teach you how to breathe. Are you really going to be worrying about how to breathe when you’re having a baby? No! You’re going to be screaming and throwing shit.”
*****
She's right.
17 comments:
Anonymous
said...
My thot was, I want out of here. THIS is over! I'm going home! I did do the breathing and all that but could never focus on anothing on the wall like they say, my eyes were not open when I was pushing. Thats not even possible. I had tiny babies tho. But still 13 hour labor for #1 and 4 hours for #2, I never believed those women that told me they went to the hospital and had their baby with no problems in like 30 minutes. BS! Like "Labor? Whats that?"...I hate you! Right?
Don't know what Snookie's problem is other than she wants the easy way out with drugs, but Lamaze does work. Used it with both the kids & had no problems. Of course with #2 a hard cough would have forced him out ... with being a preemie. Bunch of weenies out there now, just wanting the easy way & doctors scheduling c-sections so the delivery doesn't mess with anyone's schedule.
I never had drugs and I never screamed. I like to think childbirth can be as dignified as you want it to be and if there are no panic generating complications. It's not like childbirth is a surprise. We all know how it works. Just my two cents.
I agree with you, Frimmy. I never made a sound while in labor, just breathing. I imagine there was grunting while pushing but I don't remember that. No screaming, no drama, no drugs. It's a natural process and yes, you know it's going to hurt so you just deal with it.
You guys are nuts or pulling my leg. There is no way anyone is driving a volkswagon through my cootchie hole and me not scream my ass off. I DID scream my ass off. They sewed it back together.
LOL DD!! My son was 9lbs 9oz and the delivery was the easiest part. Maybe I have a big cooch but I never got any complaints about it. There were never comments about throwing a hot dog down a hallway if you know what I mean. I labored for 2 1/2 hours. Everything was fast and furious. I'm Super Givebirtherwoman :)
DD, from the time I was a little kid I could focus and block out the world. The heart rate & breathing would go down so low someone would be checking to see if I was still alive. That might be one reason I could focus and do the Lamaze & no drugs. The other reason would be small babies. Kid #1 was 6.2, Kid #2 (the preemie) was 4.3. If either kid had been as big as I was (9.8) I might be telling a different story.
I have to agree with Snooki (now that's something I never thought I would ever be saying)! When you're pushing out a watermelon, it's hard to focus on anything but pain (and cutting your husband's, or whoever's, nuts off). But I bet she will have a cute baby.
OMG. 35 hours was the short one. First one was so long ago, there was no such thing as epidural. I got Morphine. Horrible. Last one, no drugs, that was better. But, forget about Lamaze, it's stupid for someone like me. All back labor, upside down babies and no break in labor. One long pain. I can't even believe I did it twice. I must have wanted a girl awfully bad. Gawd!
DD you sound like you had similar labour as me, 3 days of contractions then 16 solid hours of one long pain located in, what felt like, my right ovary. I remember thinking being stabbed with a red hot poker would be less painful. I swear the only reason I managed to push him out in one hour was cause the bitch midwife threatened to use forceps if I didn't get him out in 60 minutes.
That said, I did have gas & air but didn't make a sound beyond huffs & grunts. Didn't let anyone touch me either but that wasn't a conscious thing, we don't have Lamaze here & no 2 women will have the same labour & no one can say what is possible or not.
Hahaha - Anything I may have remmebered about Lamaze flew out of my brain the moment contraction pain came in. Waste of time - which is what my husband had told me. Guess I felt it was part of the whole pregnancy package and I didn't want to miss it.
I was 39 yrs old with my first and was not about to be a hero. Though she was 10 lbs 1 oz - so maybe I was.
Hahaha - Anything I may have remmebered about Lamaze flew out of my brain the moment contraction pain came in. Waste of time - which is what my husband had told me. Guess I felt it was part of the whole pregnancy package and I didn't want to miss it.
I was 39 yrs old with my first and was not about to be a hero. Though she was 10 lbs 1 oz - so maybe I was.
17 comments:
My thot was, I want out of here. THIS is over! I'm going home! I did do the breathing and all that but could never focus on anothing on the wall like they say, my eyes were not open when I was pushing. Thats not even possible. I had tiny babies tho. But still 13 hour labor for #1 and 4 hours for #2, I never believed those women that told me they went to the hospital and had their baby with no problems in like 30 minutes. BS! Like "Labor? Whats that?"...I hate you! Right?
rox
Knowing she is reproducing makes me want to scream and throw shit .... sigh.
Thumbs up on mary_mary's comment.
Don't know what Snookie's problem is other than she wants the easy way out with drugs, but Lamaze does work. Used it with both the kids & had no problems. Of course with #2 a hard cough would have forced him out ... with being a preemie. Bunch of weenies out there now, just wanting the easy way & doctors scheduling c-sections so the delivery doesn't mess with anyone's schedule.
I'm with mary_mary also.
I never had drugs and I never screamed. I like to think childbirth can be as dignified as you want it to be and if there are no panic generating complications. It's not like childbirth is a surprise. We all know how it works. Just my two cents.
I agree with you, Frimmy. I never made a sound while in labor, just breathing. I imagine there was grunting while pushing but I don't remember that. No screaming, no drama, no drugs. It's a natural process and yes, you know it's going to hurt so you just deal with it.
You guys are nuts or pulling my leg. There is no way anyone is driving a volkswagon through my cootchie hole and me not scream my ass off. I DID scream my ass off. They sewed it back together.
Fuckin Giselle Bundchens, the lot of yas.
LOL DD!! My son was 9lbs 9oz and the delivery was the easiest part. Maybe I have a big cooch but I never got any complaints about it. There were never comments about throwing a hot dog down a hallway if you know what I mean. I labored for 2 1/2 hours. Everything was fast and furious. I'm Super Givebirtherwoman :)
DD, from the time I was a little kid I could focus and block out the world. The heart rate & breathing would go down so low someone would be checking to see if I was still alive. That might be one reason I could focus and do the Lamaze & no drugs. The other reason would be small babies. Kid #1 was 6.2, Kid #2 (the preemie) was 4.3. If either kid had been as big as I was (9.8) I might be telling a different story.
With all probability, Snookie's cootchie hole probably could hold a whole fleet of Volkswagens ...
I have to agree with Snooki (now that's something I never thought I would ever be saying)! When you're pushing out a watermelon, it's hard to focus on anything but pain (and cutting your husband's, or whoever's, nuts off).
But I bet she will have a cute baby.
OMG. 35 hours was the short one. First one was so long ago, there was no such thing as epidural. I got Morphine. Horrible. Last one, no drugs, that was better. But, forget about Lamaze, it's stupid for someone like me. All back labor, upside down babies and no break in labor. One long pain. I can't even believe I did it twice. I must have wanted a girl awfully bad. Gawd!
ps..I like the Shore kids. Snookie will be a great mom.
DD you sound like you had similar labour as me, 3 days of contractions then 16 solid hours of one long pain located in, what felt like, my right ovary. I remember thinking being stabbed with a red hot poker would be less painful. I swear the only reason I managed to push him out in one hour was cause the bitch midwife threatened to use forceps if I didn't get him out in 60 minutes.
That said, I did have gas & air but didn't make a sound beyond huffs & grunts. Didn't let anyone touch me either but that wasn't a conscious thing, we don't have Lamaze here & no 2 women will have the same labour & no one can say what is possible or not.
Hahaha - Anything I may have remmebered about Lamaze flew out of my brain the moment contraction pain came in. Waste of time - which is what my husband had told me. Guess I felt it was part of the whole pregnancy package and I didn't want to miss it.
I was 39 yrs old with my first and was not about to be a hero. Though she was 10 lbs 1 oz - so maybe I was.
She was also born at 10:01 pm. Weird.
Hahaha - Anything I may have remmebered about Lamaze flew out of my brain the moment contraction pain came in. Waste of time - which is what my husband had told me. Guess I felt it was part of the whole pregnancy package and I didn't want to miss it.
I was 39 yrs old with my first and was not about to be a hero. Though she was 10 lbs 1 oz - so maybe I was.
She was also born at 10:01 pm. Weird.
hey connie, my son was born at 10.01AM. lol
Post a Comment