Well, I'm not a camel, but the security wire in a pair of shoes did me in this morning. You know how sometimes you handle stress calmly and it will be one tiny meaningless thing that will surprisingly set you off when you least expect it? Yeah. I have heard nothing yet from DHS or Lis's mother, so I still don't know what's going on. And that's okay. But, when I picked Lis up from school, I was sad at the way she looked. She was mismatched and dirty with no underwear on and a pair of too big platform flip flops. They were black with Summer dirt. I'd bought her some things, but, I couldn't find shoes in this whole town. Her mom assured me that she or her dad would get shoes. Her dad was taking her shopping out of town. (She told me she has a $100 gift card a relative on his side gave her but it's for K-mart and we don't have a K-mart here. I don't know if it exists or not.) Well, he didn't get to it. Neither did her mom.
Her dad promised he'd come yesterday (Sunday) and take her to the store. We waited and waited and he didn't show. Lis was upset. So, I went to the one store here and low and behold, in the back of all the rest, we found ONE pair in her size that looked okay. I was so relieved. When we got to check out, I asked the young man to release the security wire. He said, sure. Lis was trying my patience making me explain to her why we could write a check for shoes and not for zebra print sheets. (Because I'm broke and using my tiny emergency money this week.) When we got home, I found the young guy had not released the wire. Getting ready for school this morning, she decided she didn't like what I had laid out and she pulled out wrinkled stuff from her drawers. That's okay, she has her opinions. So, I got out the iron and made them look nice. She was amazed that the iron did that. She thought irons were only for melting crayons. Point is, I was hurried and this has been quite the weekend anyway. To make this story shorter..I couldn't get the wire off the shoes. I tried everything. A wire cutter, another wire cutter, scissors, a hatchet, a hacksaw..it was not coming off. I was outside mad as a hornet. Mad. I used some choice words. Not the F word, but, I have some good ones. Lis opened the door and said, I feel sorry for that guy when you get through with him, grandma. She should, I'm still mad at him. I'm going down there, you can bet on it. I finally had to cut the laces and they aren't lace up shoes. It's continuous laces that I cut. Some design element that shouldn't have been cut and patched back together. They have a special tool at the store that releases this crap. There is no way a normal person with a tool box can do it when they have 15 minutes to get to school. The store opens an hour after school starts too. I finally realized it wasn't just the shoes I'm mad about and calmed down. She looked very nice for school today and I told her so. She even let me fix her hair. Her dad called and apologized to her. He works nights (Lis said) and didn't wake up. She forgave him and he promised he'd be here today after school. I told her to take it as a maybe. I don't hate on anybody, but, they do make me mad. You can't wear promises to school.
31 comments:
i just learned a new word from a british friend---why i never this this hundreds of year old word before i have no idea, QWIM, also spelled QUIM....from the 16th century england....means cunt....that security wire was a QUIM!!!! rhymes with swim! (had a skype speech lesson from my friend :)
you have every right to be mad---at that wire, at the situation, etc....i can't believe the condition you picked her up from school in and i bet within a week the case worker will consider her mother 'cured' of whatever it is this time....what will it be, 'malaise'? 'inertia'? such rare diseases....
QUIM wire, I love that. I feel stupid for throwing a hissy, but, damn. She gets herself up and ready for school. No one checks her. She does the best she can while she also watches her toddler brother. I'm upset about it all.
My mother taught me, you never ever break a promise to a child. Never.
I'm sure most parents can haul their asses out of bed when a child is depending on them. I don't believe that he couldn't get up. He didn't want to get up or he didn't feel the need to...at that point, his needs were more important than Lis' needs.
Poor kiddo :( . I hope she has a good day at school today.
she shouldn't be raising her brother PERIOD! it's one thing to keep an eye on him for a few minutes....but basically raising him? NO....nor should she be getting herself up for school....and the caseworkers considered the case closed last time????? i hope to hell they see a problem here this time!
He got lost Friday, he got out of the house twice and Lis found him and brought him home. But, he got lost again and she was late for school. She was confuses and didn't know what to do. The bus driver saw it. That's all I know. That, and Lis was upset thinking it was her fault. I told her it wasn't her fault or her responsibility. I could write a page on it, but, what's the point? They're both safe now.
KM, she was with her mom when this happened. I'm only a bit mad at dad for the broken promises. None of this other stuff is his fault.
glad the bus driver saw that! that's who obviously reported it! who knows what else has been going on....she shouldn't be raising him nor chasing him while her mother sleeps away.....
i can feel you anger right downunder. i cant blame you one bit. you'd have to be sub human not to let all that get to you. the wire on those shoes would definitely have been the last straw to set me off! just seeing her in such a shabby state and knowing that she is being treated in such a shabby way by her mother woukd make me want to totally explode. im sure you've sorted it all by now. as everyone says, lis couldnt have a better grandmother.
She's safe and welcome here is all I know. Gabe is welcome here too. I have no idea what's going to happen. You know how it went last time.
The whole situation makes me so very angry and sad. There's nothing to add. I'm just hoping that the never ending cycle of screwing the kids by bouncing them back and forth ends but know that it will take a few more times before someone gets a fucking clue. (Not you, obviously).
That mother needs a fucking kick in the ass and not be aloud around those children. Period.
I am just so relieved that she has you to look after her when they deem you fit to do so. Fucking ass-wipes. The whole lot.
It's the law that's messed up. It has to be changed.
When are the idiots at DHS ever going to get a clue that Lissa's mother is never going to change. All this bouncing is doing is messing with both those kids. There's hope for Lissa because she has you, but what about Gabe?
They asked me to pick Gabe up temporarily and I said yes without hesitation. They know he's too much for me physically right now. But, then they were able to get ahold of his family. He's safe and cared for. I still have no clue what's up for real, I only have Lis's side of it all.
I'm sending my positive thoughts (and yes, prayers) that this be sorted out properly this time.
Those children should not be allowed to go back to their parents. It is child abuse, and the state is a guilty party in this mess.
That little boy could have been hit by a car or been picked up by some pervert (I know I'm preaching to the choir, here, but it is really hurting my heart that this keeps happening).
They need to girl-up and just let Lissa stay with you, where she can lead a normal life, and be taken care of appropriately.
Thank you.
I'm sorry DD. I second everything Christina said. Sending good thoughts your way that this drama ends once and for all and that Lissa can be the little girl she's meant to be.
Glad Lis is safe with you where she can be a kid. Don't you hate getting pissed off like that at the Quim wire?! You could almost lift a car you're so damn mad...ARGH! Then it's time to read FML (Fuck My Life on the internet) and try to laugh. I'd probably get a hernia and a hemrrhoid from trying to tear the Quim off the shoes.
Here's hoping your week gets a lot better : )
Beth
LOL, thanks guys. It's funny now..but, OMG, this morning!
I'm hoping that you get to keep Lis. She's been through enough. You are the best person ever to take care of her. She knows she's loved when she's with you and she feels safe. That's the most important thing in life. Good luck to you, DD. I'm sending love and good wishes to the both of you.
I'm sorry you and Lis have to go through this again. We are all thinking about you and hoping for the best.
Thank you, both.
Her dad showed up to take her shopping.
Chin up, dear. We all have days like this. I'm impressed you kept it together as well as you did! Yes, Kmart is still around and you should be able to use her gift certificate on kmart.com
I didn't mean Kmart doesn't exist. I meant the card. I knew I said that wrong. Kmart is too far away for my car. They just got back. 2 jean shorts, 2 good shirts, 2 packs of socks (thank goodness), 2 new flip flops (lol) and one animal print body pillow. She did pretty good for age 8.
Alright Dad! At least he kept his part of the bargain; better late than never. I think I remember him being pretty involved with Gabe so am hoping he continues that support there too.
I know the system is screwed up. But, at one point, there is a human factor than can/should take precedent.
Love the animal print pillow!! And, yes, yeah for new socks. Those and underwear get so damn grotty quickly at that age!
She will sleep well tonight and feel ready for school tomorrow. Go Grandma! (What does she call you BTW?)
Sorry, for the double comment...
These are the things I hold dear from this story:
• We all learned a new word and we can use it and everyone, except the Brits, won't know we are calling someone a cunt! Thanks, Miss Tia.
• DD, that you have a hacksaw!
• That you show Lis love and self-respect in even the smallest things, like ironing her school outfit so she can look and feel good.
• That the store guy is gonna get the "what for."
• That her pop showed up today and took Lis shopping.
• That we can all love and laugh here together and support you, hoping that the damn system will realize you offer a wonderful safe and loving environment. We are all rooting for you!
Thanks. I have tools. I must keep tools. I used that hacksaw the other day to split perrenials. Next that Magnolia in the driveway is getting it.
Oh gosh I haven't been here for awhile due to computer issues and a scattered life. It's always the relatively small stuff that finally gets you. I think I mentioned I did my first primal scream some weeks ago, and it came about because the husband said he needed his cast replaced. That's after being in hospitals since Feb., rehabs, blah blah blah and the least of the problems did me in. Never came close to such a scream before. Did me good.
I have done the cussing thing often and brilliantly I might add.
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