Tuesday, April 1, 2014

Johnny Depp is, umm, I don't know anymore

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Is it just me or is he just not that good looking anymore? He didn't get old looking. It's like he goes out of his way to just look like that weird not so secretly neo-hippie math teacher you had in jr. high. I used to dream of kissing him. Now I kind of dream about not sitting next to him on a bus. He looks like he smells faintly of  Aqua Velva, cold Starbucks in a styrofoam cup full of cigarette butts, stale sex and high grade skunk. During the interview he said, "The fact that I’m wearing a chick’s ring on my finger is probably a dead giveaway. Not very subtle." Amber Heard can have him.

Today he's voted, (by me), to be most likely to have a stun gun in his Peter Max backpack and duct tape in his fuel economic car trunk. But, if he does get hot again, I can change my mind claiming April Fool's Day. 'Cause it is, but, it aint. He looks beat and weird.

10 comments:

Speak To Me said...

I used to think he was super hot. Maybe he is just too skinny in the face. I don't know either. Something has changed. And your right it's not age. Age in men is sexy!

Dirty Disher said...

Yep. I just don't know. I don't like his new fiance for him. She's pretty, but ho hum vanilla.

Dan Zinski said...

He's become a whore, that's the main problem.

Dirty Disher said...

Weren't we all?

Dirty Disher said...

I just had a thought. Isn't it weird that Edward Scissorhands is really fuckable, but, Johnny Depp aint?

Anonymous said...

He's too decorated and dramatic for me. I don't really like his performances mostly because they now seem formulaic.
I'm really sick of the way film makers use the same actors over and over, long after I stop finding them believable. I keep thinking 'that's depp pretending to a pirate' and can't concentrate on the story. Most of the big stars have lost it for me.
I wish they'd give new talent a chance, but they're afraid unknowns won't fill seats.

Anonymous said...

His skin is corpse-like. And wth is going on with that 5-head? Right? And I was looking at him today and just decided he gave up the "HOTNESS" for his new child bride to be. She has sucked it all away. She has thrown away all his scarves and most of his filthy wardrobe. Fine. And he let her. He's not even close to Keith Richards cool-ass anymore. The man he idolizes and steals wardrobe ideas from, on the daily. Keith has him beat from here to next week. Because with Keith, it is f'g real. With Johnny, it was him trying to be Keith. He gave it up for a baby girl. What will he also change about his acreer? JMO

Anonymous said...

@ Anon 4:32. I also am fed up "to here" with the same 5 or 6 guys starring in everything. It does tend to make you yawn now. Johnny isn't believebale as anything to me, anymore. He's a clown in a costume, he was so cool back in his "Sleepy Hollow" days. Then Disney sucked him in and now we have this. Oh well. His ship has sailed. Get us some new guys!!! He's not actually anything we believed him to be. He was always acting.

Dirty Disher said...

Interesting comments, all of them. I too am sick of Hollweird telling me the same old guys are hot. They're not. That Cumberpatch weirdo looks like a weasel. Hugh Jackoff looks as gay as a fruit salad. Bunch of yawns, all of them.

panonymous said...

He's never appealed to me. He was rumored to have body odor and takes himself way to seriously.