A mystery solved

It's those GD Turkey Vultures! This takes some explaining. For the last few months I've heard what sounds like a huge...thing...on my roof. My house is tiny, with a little peaked attic. It seriously sounds like a sofa being dropped on my house. I run outside and nothing's there. It has been driving me koo-koo. Because it's NOT paranormal. I have enough paranormal stuff here and you know how you get 'that' feeling? I don't with this. I know it's something explainable, but, for months I couldn't figure it out. I even hired someone to trim big limbs off the hated Mulberry tree, thinking it might be that. But, it happens when there's no wind and now no tree limbs. It's unnerving.

So, this morning, I hear it again, it woke me up. Jebus crimers! It sounded like an explosion. Half pissed, I stumbled, grabbed my stupid cane and hobbled to the door (I don't know about you, but, I have real trouble walking when I first wake up, 'specially if I've slept a long time) and by the time I got outside, nothing. WTF? I looked up and all I saw were some birds in the air. I assumed they were Red Tails.

There's the Red Tail. Oh, that sure is a pretty picture. I found all these on the net. Anyway, the Red Tail Hawk is a very common bird here, probably where you live too. They hunt mice and other small animals, they never bother anyone and they're pretty well liked. We have a nest in the old Walnut in the backyard. So, I just assumed the birds flying above were Red Tails.

See? It's pretty hard to tell when they're so far up in the air. The ones I saw this morning were just dark shapes. Then I remembered reading THIS article in Yahoo News about an invasion of Vultures in a Virginia neighborhood. They were migrating and a protected species. It's interesting and has good pics. But, the people described the noise as a pack of dogs on the roof! It clicked in my brain and I made coffee and sat outside until I saw the birds a little closer.

I was at a BBQ last month at my friends house and I was totally entertained by about 20-30 big birds hunting overhead. I thought they were Hawks too, but, her husband said, 'No, Pat, look for the tail notch.' I squinted, but, couldn't see a notch in the black shapes. I just Googled it. It's a notch to a man, it's chevron to a woman. See the difference? I finally figured out the mystery noise. Turkey Vultures are bigger and uglier than the Vultures in that article. I'm familiar with them on the ground, everyone here is. But, until that BBQ, I'd never seen them in town.

My friend lives in a better neighborhood. The mid-range part of town which is all nice houses, but, not fancy. It's right on the border of what I call Uppity Land. Well, Uppity Land has been invaded by a great band of Turkey Vultures who live in a copse near the high school. Some people are amused by them, some people want to shoot them. But, you wouldn't go firing off guns where the Mayor lives, would you? But, now they've grown in numbers and they're invading Guntown. Here, someone really will shoot them for sport.

It's too bad. They're really cool. They're butt-fuck ugly, as you can see, but, I always liked them. They clean up road kill and just look at you like, so? when you approach on the ground. You can almost touch them before they lazily fly away. And they're big, they aren't knee high..on me, they're crotch high or waist high sometimes. Big fuckers. I never knew how to identify them in the air though. So, I learned something. Only a man would call that a notch..heh. Negative spaces, man, they getcha. I'll betcha they're the ones that have been shitting on my car. I keep blaming it on the poor Hawks. OMG, it's such a huge, ugly, stinky, gooey mess. But, I just park in the other drive now that better weather is here. I know..this is a long post about a big ugly bird. But, the mystery has been solved for me. It was GD Turkey Buzzards...in Guntown! Hey, Buzzards, stop dropping couches on my roof!

ps...check out the feet in that first pic. OMG, feet like Paris Hilton!