Jessica Simpson Instagramed these photos proving her recent weight loss program is working. She has every right to be proud, but, come on. Jessica is a good looking girl, not the sharpest pencil in the box, but, pretty. So, how come she's posing like this? What's with the golf club? What's with the weird cut out geometric swim suit? (Otherwise known as a 'stretch mark hider'.) What's with the fug shoes that don't seem to belong...anywhere? Also the duck lips, the obvious sucking in pose, the awkward, all of it. The girl has been at the gym so much she looks like she could kill you with her leg muscles alone and yet, it looks like she just doesn't have a clue where her hotness went. If you have seen Jessica Simpson's former hotness, please contact John Mayer. A sizable sexual napalm reward will be offered. Sorry, that's all that my fried brain could spit out. I have a fever and a lung mung from hell today. I blame kids.
How you doin'? (I sound like Joey Tribiani in my head. I don't even know why. Let's blame Nyquil.) I desperately want to recreate Jessica's pose with my own golf club. My brain laughs at that. That's how weird I feel today.
16 comments:
I agree, she just looks weird. Legs are too muscly and that bathing suit isn't flattering. Not knocking her cuz she has lost a lot of weight for having 2 babies back to back but I'd think she could have posted better photos than those.
I seriously think she's mildly retarded, but, she's pretty and didn't she used to sing? Whateves with her. I can't hate on her.
I don't hate her either but have you heard her sing?? It's bad. She should stick to selling shoes, clothes and perfume although I've never bought any of it. How she became so rich is a mystery. She got famous after her reality show when she was married to Nick Lachey.
Whoever told girls that the trout-pout was sexy should be punched in the throat.
I wish people would stop telling me to stop the trout pout when I'm not doing it. I just have big lips.
I liked that reality show, but, Nick was always pushing her around. It was a good show though. She was funny.
I hope she doesn't lose any more weight. She looks good now. But it seems like the stars that were made fun of for being fat end up getting too skinny.
I like her. I liked her show with Nick. I hope she's happy.
She's losing extra weight for her wedding, that is anytime. And remember how huge she got after Maxwell? Wowza! And then Ace came. She's been pregnant for the last few years. And she's short. I would be proud of it too. Hell yes, I'd suck in my cheekbones if I could look that thin. Her shoes are always clunky. She's like 5' tall. But those shoes just bulk up her calves even more. My daughter and I loved her and Nicks show. She even bought the DVD of the series. It was classier than Brits and Kevin's. We also loved Dave Navarro and Carmen Electras show. And Travis Barker from Blink 182. There really were some good reality shows back in the day. And Jess's luggage and shoes are fabulous. All her things are and not real expensive. I'd do it too. She got rich! So, Why not? And all w/o doing a sex tape! The K's probably hate her guts. Seriously. She's the anti-Kardashian. Rolling in cash from all sorts of endeavors w/o selling her soul. I love her and wish her well. I wonder if her gay dad will walk her down the aisle this time? Gawd. Can you imagine?! He would try to outshine her day. He will have a seat and that's it. Maybe. He's kind of not around anymore is he? Good!
I actually thought that was LeeAnn Rimes before I read your thoughts (and put on my glasses) That pose is definitely something that attention whore would do but never in a 1 piece suite.
Who couldn't look like that after babies if they had the $$$ to pay the best personal trainers money could buy? Many of them also have tummy tucks right after pregnancy along with their C-sections (which Jessica did have) Who knows what else they pump into themselves to look like that? Their careers and lifestyles depend on how good they look. She was skewered when she was heavy.
Rox, I liked all those shows too. I like Travis and his family the best. I also like Family Jewels.
Jessica's dad is an idiot and a prev though. Her wedding doesn't interest me. No wedding does.
Pan, who knows? They don't live like the rest of us, that's for sure.
Her thighs remind me of a new procedure I just heard about on the radio---thigh gap. There is a dr. in Dallas that specializes in sliming down the inner thighs to widen the gap between the legs. I thought it was a joke at first, but it is true. Has anyone else heard about this?
Personally, I think such a wide gap is ugly. I like Jessica and sometimes feel sorry for her. She has been picked on a lot. But, to me, her legs just don't look right.
Yeah- she has Leanne's thighs/legs- I see how you can get confused. And that Nick Simmons! What a hot piece of ass that kid is! I'm nearly 100% sure that Genes hair is a wig, but why?
His hair freaks me out.
Anyone else watching True Tori? ( and not balling your eyes out for her/them)
Shelly
I have thigh gap again. I was going to post geriatric thigh gap. LMAO!
Yeah, his kid should be the star. Gene is an asshole, but, funny.
True Tori, what crap. I do not understand why she even married that gross pig Dean.
I am so stoked that you guys like these shows too. I am not alone!! I'll start posting about them more now.
Haha Pat, I have that geriatric thigh gap too and it isn't pretty. Especially when you've lost a bunch of weight like we both have. It's not bad as long as I'm wearing a nice pair of fitted jeans. Without pants, forget about it. LOL
I heard from someone that the bigger the gap, the looser the grip. I shook my damn head. LOLZ.
I love Nick Simmons. That dry sense of humor!
Jessica's legs just look so gross to me. Actually, each entire picture does. The entire pose, the legs, the shoulders, the shoes, etc.
Christina
I've noticed that weird pose in the commercials, what the heck? Nobody I know does that. It's really awkward looking.
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