Kandi Burress. She irritates me, I don't give two fucks about her dang wedding shit. She has too much eye rolling, smirking attitude for me. But, after getting a load of her mama, I get it. (And why is Kandi always so sweaty looking??) I do like watching that twat of a mother she has fuck up her entire life while living high on the hog with her daughter's money. Anyone with mother problems gets my attention. Cough. Anyhow, her old shit talking mother acts like Kandi is a great big giant star, like she's Angelina Jolie or somthin'. Every time some snippet of song is played on that Atlanta Housewife show, I say, ehhh. But, it's not very open minded to criticize something you've never listened to. So, I went to You Tube and listened to every Kandi song I could find. I didn't listen to a clip either, I listened to them all the way through. Here's what I decided about Kandi Burress.
Kandi has a great voice. From deep and throaty to birdsong clear, Kandi has it going on. Bitch can sing. But, that RnB modern stuff aint my thing and though her lyrics are very personal, which is good, she repeats a one or two word hook until you could scream. That shit's for the brain dead. She need to take a good listen to Blue's Traveler's 'The Hook' and heed the message. If she got that people are as smart as she thinks she is, she'd be more mainstream. She does seem to have been a much bigger deal in the music industry than I though and she's written stuff for some pretty major people.
She seems to be a good business woman, but, that dildo business is nasty. Her website on it is called Bedroom Kandi and it's a very slick website. I'll bet she makes a ton there. I think that shit is nasty because I have no libido anymore. To each his own. But, I have a friend who sells another line of that dildo crap and she's always bugging me with it. People like Kandi can't understand that live and let live means leave ME alone. I don't want no goddamn buzzin' dildo. She talks about the products and her sex life constantly at innapropriate times. (My friend and Kandi.) Shut up. Don't you have batteries to go buy?
While I'm on singers, what in the world is all this hub bub about Britney Spears and auto tune?? For cripes sakes, Britney Spears can sing...said no one. Ever. She is a package, she is an entertainer and she finds some catchy little tunes sometimes. No one in the universe ever said she could sing. Now shut the fuck up, yee outraged, and go back to protesting Spielberg killing a dinosaur. Leave Britney alone!!!!
It's Kandi wiff a K. You know that old joke about the woman who named her daughter candy and the psychiatrist said, 'that's why you're so fat, all you think about is food, you named your kid Candi!' Then he told the next lady, 'all you think about is money, that's why you named your kid Penny'. The third woman jumped up and grabbed her twins hands and said, 'come on, Dick and Peter, we're getting out of here!'
2 comments:
there are really people who name their girls 'Candy'?
That is horrifying!
Why not call them 'cheap fuck meat' or 'mindless trophy wife'? Would transport the same meaning - and would be a lot more honest.
It's Kandi wiff a K. You know that old joke about the woman who named her daughter candy and the psychiatrist said, 'that's why you're so fat, all you think about is food, you named your kid Candi!' Then he told the next lady, 'all you think about is money, that's why you named your kid Penny'. The third woman jumped up and grabbed her twins hands and said, 'come on, Dick and Peter, we're getting out of here!'
Classy, eh?
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