Unrealistic expectations..on both sides here

DEAR ABBY: We were visiting my daughter and her husband when their 3-year-old, "Bethany," entered our room and rummaged through our medications. The door to the guest room was closed and the medications had been placed on a desk. Of course, everyone thought she had ingested some, so they rushed her to the ER. We were fortunate that nothing was found in her system.

My son-in-law thinks we should help pay the medical bills. I have sent several hundred dollars, but he is asking for more.

Bethany is an only child, and they allow her free reign of the house. I have other grandchildren who are even younger, and none of them would dream of touching something that wasn't theirs.

It has been almost a year since the incident, and they still haven't taught her to respect and leave things alone that are not hers. My daughter is a professional and her husband works from home, which concerns me because he isn't as strict as I feel is necessary.

Are we obligated to help with more of her medical expenses? I don't think so because we have already helped, and I don't think it's our job to teach our grandchild boundaries. -- OHIO GRANDMA

DEAR OHIO GRANDMA: That must have been some hefty emergency room bill! Obviously, closing the guest room door was not enough to deter your granddaughter. In hindsight, you now know that you should keep anything you don't want her to get into locked in your suitcase. But you and your husband are not mind readers.
If this wasn't a wake-up call to your daughter and son-in-law that it was time to teach their child the meaning of "No!" and "Don't touch!" then I don't know what it will take to prevent another "oops!" As to your shelling out more money than you already have for Bethany's medical bills, I think you have given enough, and you should not be blamed for what happened.

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Me..Holy crap. I can't believe Grandparent's left meds out where a toddler could get at them. Anyone with experience with small kids knows they will fuck with your stuff. Period. Their brains aren't developed yet, they work on impulse. Some kids understand 'no' at three, some kids still don't at ten. Lock yer damn meds and anything else dangerous up. It IS your fault. If you were childless, I'd understand, but, you aren't, so wake the fuck up. As for the bill, why don't they have insurance or do they? Maybe he's just hitting you up for spending money. This sounds fishy to me. But, the sucker is family, so pay it, keep a record and be done with it. Now you know what he's all about, lesson learned. It's been a year, so that tells me you are still fighting about this which is stupid. But, back to kids..where do you get off saying, "I have other grandchildren who are even younger, and none of them would dream of touching something that wasn't theirs". Really? Well, how dang perfect everyone else is. Younger than three?? Three is a toddler, a baby still! Well, why don't we smack little Bethany around awhile, teach her a lesson? It's pretty obvious from the wording of your letter, that you don't like Bethany. You're a bad grandma. I wouldn't let you babysit.