Children of the Corn

Maybe it's an Iowa thing, I don't know, but, it's tradition to sit around telling kids about the Corn Monster, Corn Sasquatch, the homicidal maniac who hides in the corn with a corn knife and of course, my personal fav, Children of the Corn, who look for recruits. Then, you send the kids into a dark Corn field and proceed to scare the pants off them. As I walked up, I heard Autumn whisper, 'let's be evil.' She's a weird kid when she wants to be. She stares and growls. I liked her evil-ness in the first photo. Lissa's 'evil' just looks crazy.

I wanted one photo of them walking through the corn, their backs, in their pretty dresses. I had visions of doing something artsy-fartsy in programs. The little shits would not stop posing and hamming it up. This is the best I got. They never do anything I ask them to. We scared them good though.

'Joey, Joey, we're scared! Save us!' He asked them what he could do to help them recover? They talked it over and decided that if he let them dig in his van for change and keep it all, it would make them better. Awesome. It kept them busy for another hour.

Someone hauled in a swing set. OMG, I finally got rid of that swing set here that's been in my face for years and then I walk over to the new house and find this thing. No one will cop to it. This is Guntown, you never know what you'll find. That thing is history. We can make some rope swings in all those huge trees. Besides, they put this too close to where we sit. I can hear every Kesha lyric they constantly sing. Trust me, they aren't that talented. Simon Cowell is not waiting for these two.

 Earlier, the girls went fishing with Bruce and Joey and learned to cast. They said Lissa got very good at casting and wanted to fish alone because she was serious about it. They all caught fish, but, just small ones. I forget what kind that big one is, but, it's bony and has less fillet on it than the bulls. Autumn was thrilled to gut the fish in front of me and gross me out (it didn't, but, I let her think it did). She kept giggling and saying 'Cut it, Dad, cut it's head right off!' She scares me a little sometimes. Lissa didn't want to watch. She kept thinking of her goldfish.

Later in the afternoon, they came up with another $ scheme. A nail painting business. $2 dollars for nails, $2 dollars for toes or $4 dollars for both. How is that a bargain? Anyway, I told them they could do it and they sat out there on the street until dark. Kayden came over and helped with signs and became the PR man. I would have let them paint mine, but, I just did new French tips. And orange toes.

But, wait...what is that?? That is MY nail polish. I never told them they could take MY stuff outside. I like those hat boxes. I'll bet you anything they're still out there and it's fixing to rain. I'll finish this post and go get them. It's annoying, but, not worth an argument. The kids had a big day and night and it was true Iowa Summer fun. Autumn is still here, sleeping, but, Lis and I had to get up early for a pre-court social worker meeting. Her mom was supposed to be here too, but, she didn't show. We have custody court in the morning. I'm already 99% sure that Lis will stay here for good this time. You never know though. DHS is weird. But, this time, it's up to a judge who has no tolerance for nonsense. I guess he can't stand repeat offenders. So, we'll see.

Send us some positive energy. I gotta go save my poor hat boxes.